


Book Four: Hold Me Together, Pick Me Apart

by EdgarAllenPoet



Series: wolf!verse [5]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Angst, Drugs, Failboats In Love, Gen, M/M, Yikes, but a big storm is a'comin, it's gonna start off good, wolf!verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 86,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7951054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgarAllenPoet/pseuds/EdgarAllenPoet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The pack is adapting to life after Zack moves away, and things might not be going as smoothly as you'd expect.  Or they're going just as smoothly as to be expected, which if you know these boys, means not at all.  </p><p>Spencer may be an alpha, but that doesn't mean he knows how to be an Alpha.  Jon is willing to help him- no matter what it takes.  Brendon's talking to his therapist, but not even trained professionals have all the answers when it comes to these types of problems.  And Will?  He has a plan, a maybe-boyfriend, and a fairy who's willing to help him get it together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to Kcracken -my dedicated beta, the real mvp, homie extraordinare. One day I'll learn to use hyphens and commas correctly, but for now  
> \--- ,,,,, ,-,-,-,-,-,-  
> ,  
> \--,  
> ,

_ “I’d like to talk about your family again, Brendon.” _

 

_ “No.  No way.  Not happening.” _

 

_ “We have to talk about them eventually.” _

 

_ “Not today…. Please?”  _

 

_ “Alright.  If not your parents, then the pack.  How do you feel about Zack being gone?” _

 

_ “I don’t know…. I miss him?  But it’s not like he had a choice.” _

 

_ “Are you doing okay with this transition?” _

 

_ “Yeah, I’m fine.”   _

 

_ “How about the others? Spencer’s in charge now, right?  How’s he doing?” _

 

_ “Spencer’s fine…. Spencer’s  _ always _ fine.” _

  
  


…

 

Spencer was homicidal, or at least, that’s how he felt.  It was in everybody’s best interest that the rest of the pack were not home currently, because Spencer would have killed them.  He would have started with Jon, because he’d promise to  _ do the freaking laundry _ , and then move on to the others, and then the cat, and then himself. 

 

He realized that he shouldn’t be joking about suicide, considering the circumstances, as he tossed t-shirt after t-shirt into the washing machine.  It wasn’t like anyone was there to hear him, though, and he wasn’t even joking out loud.  He could think whatever he wanted.

But seriously, if the pack had been home Spencer probably would have screamed at them.  Especially at Jon, who was supposed to be the adult and help Spencer out and not be  _ totally fucking useless _ .  The explosion would give Brendon something new to tell his therapist at least.  Spencer was feeling mean this morning.  He’d started to understand why Zack had been so irritable before.  Being alpha made Spencer all shouty. 

 

He had to get a hold of himself before they got home, though.  Jon was at work, but Spencer couldn’t remember how late his shift ran today, and Jon kept forgetting to write his hours on the calendar on the fridge.  Brendon was going to hang out with Sarah after school, he’d said, which Spencer couldn’t even be mad about.  He was just happy those two were speaking again.  

 

Will was… somewhere.  Spencer wasn’t entirely sure where he disappeared to anymore.  All he knew was that Will had to be going to school most of the time, since Spencer wasn’t getting any phone calls.  At least there was that.  

 

Spencer pulled another pair of jeans out of the laundry basket with a sigh.  He’d probably need to do two loads with how long this had been piling up, and that meant twice the quarters.  He shook the jeans out before tossing them in the washer- he’d learned his lesson after the Chocolate Incident a few months back, where something forgotten in Brendon’s pocket decided to explode everywhere, and Spencer had been forced to wash the same load of laundry three times to get it clean.

 

Never again.

 

Spencer shook the jeans out and looked down when something tiny and green clattered to the ground.  He stooped down and picked it up before it could roll away under the washing machine, never to be seen again.  Now this, he realized… this was a problem. 

 

They asked him everyday, either himself or Jon or sometimes Will, “Hey Bren, you take your medication?”  The response varied from eyerolls to sighs to annoyed groaning and whining, but it was always a ‘yes.’  They trusted Brendon to take it himself, and he agreed to hold up his end of the deal to have a little bit of freedom.  

 

Unless he wasn’t taking it, which… shit.  If Brendon went off his meds and tried to off himself again, Spencer was going to kill him.  Counterproductive, sure, but Spencer was in a bad mood.

 

This just didn’t make sense.  They asked him every single morning, and Brendon was useless at lying.  Had Spencer not been paying close enough attention?  Brendon hadn’t been acting weird, though.  Maybe he’d just forgotten.  

 

Brendon’s meds were for depressive symptoms and anxiety, if Spencer remembered correctly.  Huh….  Spencer stared at it for a moment longer, but then footsteps coming down the stairs into the basement laundry room caught Spencer’s attention.  He recognized Jon immediately and popped the pill into his mouth, swallowing hard and hiding any evidence that it had been there.  Jon would be more upset than any of them if Brendon went off his meds.  He was trusting like that, and Spencer didn’t need the drama this could bring about. 

 

He was the alpha.  He’d handle it himself.  He didn’t need Jon freaking out on top of it. 

 

Spencer realized a moment too late that he could have just put the pill in his pocket, but oh well.  A mood stabilizer could only help at this point.  Maybe it would keep him from murdering his pack members.  

 

Jon came trotting into the room as Spencer tossed more laundry into the washing machine and tried to look busy.  He still had on his visor from work, there was a milk stain on the front of his black button-up shirt, he smelled overwhelmingly like coffee, and he was holding his cellphone out at Spencer.

 

“It’s Zack,” he said, crowding into Spencer’s space and pushing the phone into his hands.  “Here, let me help with this.” 

 

Spencer blinked dumbly at Jon as he started going through the laundry himself.  He stepped out of the way and hopped up to sit on one of the machines, holding the phone to his ear and saying, “Hello?” 

 

“No, yeah, everything’s great,” he told Zack.  Jon looked up at him from under his visor and smiled wide.  Spencer rolled his eyes.  Maybe he wouldn’t kill his pack just yet.  Jon blew him a kiss, and Spencer kicked him in the hip lightly. 

  
  


…

  
  


With a population of only ten thousand or so people, the town wasn’t anything impressive.  It didn’t compare to the sprawling streets of Jacksonville, where eighty times as many people could be found wandering the city daily.  Still, it was sweet in a way that Will had grown very accustomed to.  He appreciated how he could know practically every nook and cranny, every bump in the sidewalk where tree roots had gotten too powerful.  He knew which business owners would report truant kids to the high school and which wouldn’t.  He recognized the shop owner who’d almost caught him stealing months ago and knew to tear very clear of him.  

 

In a place this small, it wasn’t hard to feel on top of things.  

 

The businesses in town sat in a plus sign shaped cluster, occupying the two main roads in the middle of town.  Coming in from the East, you’d first encounter a bar called “Betty’s” and a hair cuttery.  Continuing along you’d find the post office, a pizza place, the Starbucks, and several other businesses that sat nestled into a long buildings that stretched the whole block and offered apartments overhead.  

 

Keep on going west and you’d eventually pop out on the other side of town, but if you turned from Main onto Harmon you’d find a slew of other businesses.  Putter down that road a ways and you’d bump into the apartment building Will lived in with the pack.  There were more businesses alongside it, but if you kept taking that street west you’d eventually be in a town over.

 

Take Harmon the other way and you’d hit the courthouse, one of the middle schools, the high school, and on the other side of a small neighborhood, an elementary school.  

 

Down Main and across from Betty’s, in a catty-corner sort of way, was an IHOP.  Besides that, the Starbucks, and a few fast food places closer to the highway, most of the restaurants and businesses were privately owned.  

 

North on Main Street would take you through town, and you’d eventually patter off into a neighborhood similar to the other clusters of houses encasing the area, fading off into farmland in the valley and creeping into the mountains.  In that particular neighborhood, though, you’d find a small shopping center to your right, and farther down two truck stops with backroads to the highway.  They were massive and sprawling, but not shiny or new.  They looked grungy, worn down, and like they’d been settled there stuck in time since 1971.

 

Hell, they probably had been.  

 

If you kept going past the truck stops and over the train tracks you’d hit the “bad side of town” with a lot of boarded up windows and scary looking shacks of houses.  Will hadn’t ever imagined wanting to spend time over there, but all things considered, Will wasn’t scared of that type of people anymore.  Besides, he had a good reason to be there.  Just on the other side of the tracks was Parson’s Car Parts, the mechanic shop that Longinue’s father owned.

 

Will had spent practically his entire summer hanging around Parson’s.  Any time Longineu had to work, Will was right there with him until the old man chased him out.  If he wasn’t haunting LP at work, then he was dragging him back to his own neighborhood, where they spent countless hours laughing at Sarah and Brendon’s shitty attempt at skateboarding. They also blew way too much money on slushies from the 7-11 down the block, but what were summers for if not for that?

 

Hanging out with Longineu felt familiar the way hanging out with Lucas and the guys back in Jacksonville had felt.  It was nice, and Will wasn’t letting school get in the way of that.  

 

“If my old man would let me, I’d drop out right now,” Longineu said, cigarette smoke escaping his lips and nostrils on the breath of a sigh.  “You sure are lucky.  Your brothers don’t pay any attention to what you do.”

 

Will chuckled and stole the smoke away from him, holding it between his fingers and placing it to his lips.  He was right, of course.  Spencer and Jon couldn’t care less what Will was up to and didn’t ask too many questions, so long as he didn’t get into trouble or come back to the apartment all roughed up.  They didn’t overlook things like that after what had happened with Brendon.  Will was good about not giving them reasons to ask questions though.  

 

“Can’t go to college if you drop out,” he said. 

 

Longineu snorted.  “Fuck college, man.  You think I’m going there?”  He reached up and pulled his long braids back out of his face and tied them up behind his head.  He’d been growing them out since last November and they were finally long enough for a pony tail, which he took advantage of quite regularly.

 

The sun was setting behind them, leaving them both in the shadows, and Longineu’s skin looked darker than normal in the low light.  Will was pretty sure that was part of why they got along so well.  Longineu had moved to town with his family just a few years back.  He was one of half a dozen black kids at school in a town where the people were weird about that sort of thing.  To make it worse for himself, he was shy, and the suggestion of a french accent clung to every word he said.  He and Will were outsiders together, and it just sort of worked.  Will liked how it worked.

 

“What are you doing then?” Will asked.  He handed the cig back when Longineu’s hands were free.

 

“Gonna stay at my dad’s business.  I’m good enough at mechanic work.  He can teach me everything I need to know.  Fuck college.” 

 

Will arched his back against the uncomfortable car seat and placed his hands flat against the fabric ceiling of the car.  After a relieving ‘pop’ he settled in again, took a drag, and blew the smoke out at the ceiling.  ,

 

“What about you?  College?” Longineu asked.  Will laughed.

 

“As if.”  He didn’t even have enough personal information to fill out a job application; he certainly couldn’t fill one out for college.  Besides, with his track record for trouble and unimpressively average grades, it’d be a miracle if anyone let him in.  

 

Not like he wanted to go anyways.  College meant moving away, and it meant a new environment with new people and big changes.  William had met enough new people in the past year and a half to last him a life time.  He’d just gotten settled with the pack.  He didn’t want to have to go through that again…  

 

He could always go to the community college like Spencer was, but college also meant a lot of money that Will didn’t have, and there wasn’t a soul out there who’d give someone like him a scholarship.  Was there a special fund for teenage werewolf runaways with no dreams or aspirations?  Probably not. 

 

“I’m just so sick of school,” Longineu complained.  “Every day all they talk about is ‘preparing us for college.’  Like, some of us have trades, yknow?  Man, if I didn’t have to be there, I wouldn’t.” 

 

He had a point there.  There really wasn’t any reason to be in school anymore.  He’d gone back because Zack had made him; it was one of the pack rules.  But now Zack was all the way in Pennsylvania, and what was he gonna do from there?  

 

“I should just drop out,” Will said.  “Get a job and help the guys with rent.”

 

“Exactly.  You only have to go ‘til you’re sixteen, by law.”  

 

Will sat back and thought about that a bit, drumming his fingers against his thigh.    A buzzing in his pocket interrupted his thoughts, and Longineu kept his eyes on him as he fished his phone out of his pocket to check. 

 

“It’s B,” he said.   “They want me home for dinner…”

 

“How’s he doing?  After the…”  Longineu put a finger up to his head and swirled it around to mime the word ‘crazy.’ 

 

“He’s alright,” Will said, then pulled the door handle and gave it a shove open with his foot.  The car was old, and the hinges liked to stick despite how much time Longineu put into it.  “I gotta go.” 

 

“I expect you to suck my dick next time,” Longineu teased.  

 

Will laughed.  “I sucked your mom’s dick.” 

 

“I know.  She sends her thanks, by the way.  Baked you a pie,” he smiled, bright and brilliant.  “Come here.”

 

Will ducked back in and met him in a biting kiss, which turned into a few more kisses, which turned into them making out across the center console in the front seat, and it took ten minutes and another text from Brendon before Will was out of the car and jogging across the parking lot to the back door of the apartment building. 

  
  


**…**

 

Ryan was shivering.  Spencer’s mom had always told him that if he went outside with wet hair he’d catch pneumonia, but Ryan had barely had time to grab a necessary shower so there wasn’t much that could be done about the situation.  Ryan had that hat from Jason, but it would make his hair look all funny.  Not that it wouldn’t already look curly and goofy as hell by the time it dried, but Dahvie said he liked Ryan’s curly hair.  It made him look “innocent.”  

 

It wasn’t like Ryan could have skimped on the shower either.  He didn’t want to prance into the club reeking of sex.  He wasn’t sure any patrons he got up close and personal with would appreciate it, and it would have driven Ryan himself crazy anyways.  

 

Getting bitten by that werewolf had done incredible things to Ryan’s sense of smell, but with the stuff Ryan got up to in his spare time, that wasn’t exactly a good thing.  

 

What was he gonna do about it, though?  Nothing.  He could do absolutely nothing about it, but that was just the way his life was as of late.  He hugged his sweatshirt tighter around himself and hid his hands in the sleeves.  He wished it was thicker, or a coat, or that it wasn’t October.  He just wished he was warmer.

 

There was a notice posted at the bus stop saying busses were out of commission until further notice due to yearly improvements.  Ryan scowled at the note and stomped angrily down the sidewalk.  He was walking, then.   Not like the bus would have offered much shelter against the cold, but still.  Sitting would be nice. 

 

He was grumbling his way down Harmon street when someone grabbed his shoulder and yelled, “Hey!” 

 

Ryan swung and threw a punch, but the kid ducked, laughing, and bounced right out of reach.  “Bathroom kid!” he chirped excitedly.  Ryan narrowed his eyes.

 

“Excuse me?” he bit out, really not appreciating being interrupted, especially not by his weird werewolf stalker.  

 

“You never told me your name,” the boy…. Brendon.  That had been his name.  Ryan still had his number tucked away safely from a week ago.  Brendon raised an eyebrow and fell into step with Ryan when he turned to walk away.  “Which isn’t exactly fair,” he carried on annoyingly.  “I mean I told you mine.  It’s only polite.” 

 

“I’m not polite,” Ryan snapped. 

 

Brendon’s face broke into a grin, as if Ryan was being friendly instead of hostile, and he laughed.  “Bullshit.  Someone pretty as you?”

 

Ryan grimaced at the word ‘pretty,’ thinking of the man he’d been with just an hour ago, who’d left stinging handprints that Ryan hoped faded before the show that night and murmured about how pretty it made Ryan’s skin look.  

 

“Yeah, well,” Ryan snapped.  Brendon must have caught the change in the air because his previously smiling eyes turned cautious, and he watched Ryan closely.  He looked like an owl, or a begging puppy maybe.

 

Puppy.  Hah.  Ryan couldn’t believe he’d gotten himself wrapped up in this werewolf bullshit, as if he didn’t have enough issues.  Tired of being just an ordinary social pariah?  Join three social outcast clubs and get a membership card.  It comes with absolutely zero benefits. 

 

Speaking of which, Brendon was not-so-subtly sniffing the air as they walked along.  Ryan glanced at the diner across the street.  It reeked of pancakes and syrup and eggs and made his stomach growl.  Brendon’s attention snapped back to him again, but before he could open his giant mouth to say something stupid, Ryan decided to speak. 

 

“So what?  Are you, like, tracking me now?” he asked.  Brendon’s forehead crumpled in confusion.

 

“Tracking you?” he asked.  He reached up and tugged the beanie cap he was wearing down tight over his ears, puffing his cheeks out against the cold and looking like a fucking moron.  

 

“Whatever it is you people do,” Ryan snapped back.  Brendon just shrugged, seemingly unfazed, which was infuriating.  Ryan had legendary bad moods.  He knew how to push people away when he needed to, and the only person who’d ever been really good at ignoring Ryan like this was Spencer.  

 

Well Ryan had lost one Spencer, and he didn’t need another one, thank you very much.  He growled half-heartedly at the boy next to him, because that’s something he could  _ do _ now, holy shit, and Brendon’s face broke into another wide grin.

 

“So,” Brendon started again.  “You wanna hear about werewolf stuff?” 

 

Ryan glanced around self-consciously to make sure no one had overheard them, but besides the occasional car making its way along, the roads were empty. 

 

“Why would I wanna know about that?”  He stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets, because they were so cold they were likely to turn grey and fall off in a few minutes here.  He wouldn’t be very sexy without hands.  Dahvie would either kill him or fire him.  If he fired him, Ryan would be homeless.  How would he hold a cup with no hands?  He’d have to learn to do things with his toes. 

 

Maybe Dahvie would find someone with a stub fetish.  Ryan was sure they existed out there somewhere, maybe even in town.  Gross. 

 

Next to him, Brendon sighed morosely.  Ryan spared a glance over to find him frowning. 

 

“Look, I know it’s scary, but it helps to have someone to-“

 

Ryan cut him off.  “I’m not scared.  Of anything.  And I don’t need your fucking help.”

 

Brendon’s lips quirked up in a smile.  “I know you’re lying.  I can hear your heartbeat going fast, which means you don’t like talking about this.  Which means you’re scared.”

 

“Or maybe it’s because we’re walking a lot.  You know, exercise?  Or did you skip that day in health class?”

 

“You don’t speak with much vocal inflection…. Questions are supposed to go up at the end, y’know, or did you miss that day of kindergarten?”  Brendon grinned like the devil, obviously proud of himself.  Ryan rolled his eyes.

 

“Ha,” he said dryly.  “You’re clever.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

Ryan rolled his eyes again, harder this time, for emphasis.  It was blissfully silent for a few moments, but they didn’t make it two whole blocks before Brendon was talking again.  

 

“How about this,” he offered.  “If you have questions, you can ask.  That way I won’t tell you anything you don’t wanna know, okay?” 

 

No, not okay, Ryan thought, but before he could stop himself, his mouth blurted out the question, “When’s the next full moon?”

 

Brendon wrinkled his nose up in thought.  “Um… Saturday?  I think it’s Saturday. Will has been awful rowdy lately, so it has to be pretty soon.  I dunno.  Spencer keeps better track of these things.” 

 

Ryan’s heart skipped a beat in his chest at the name, but Brendon didn’t seem to notice.  He was too busy tugging his arm free of his coat to show off a big bruise on his forearm, apparently from Will, whoever that was.  “He’s a wrestling beast.” 

 

A literal beast too, no doubt.  Ryan could still feel his heart going wild, and he didn’t want Brendon to point it out again.  He could hear Brendon’s own heart beating happily, a calm thump thump thump thump….

 

“Who’s Spencer?” he asked. 

 

Brendon looked surprised at the question, but he was smiling.  “Oh!  He’s my alpha.  That’s the wolf who’s in charge of the pack, and-“

 

“I know what an alpha is.  I’m not an idiot.”

 

“Oh….” Brendon trailed off, looking chastised.  Ryan sighed as Brendon continued.  “No, I didn’t mean that you were, uh, just…. I…. Sorry.”

 

Ryan didn’t respond.  He didn’t have time for other people’s feelings, especially when other people were too sensitive.  As Ryan’s dad had said, many different times while lobbing many different things at Ryan’s head in a drunken rage, ‘Toughen up, buttercup.’  People were mean, and Brendon was just gonna have to learn that. 

 

It was soon- sooner that Ryan expected- before they were coming up to the break in the woods.  First the bus stop, and then a few hundred feet away, Dahvie’s.  Ryan hadn’t been expecting Brendon to follow him that far, but apparently the kid was relentless that way.  Great.  

 

“Listen.”  He came to a stop, grabbing the arm of Brendon’s jacket and stopping him too.  “Get on the bus here and go back.”

 

“What?  Why?  Where are you going?” Brendon asked, rapid fire questions.  Ryan closed his eyes and let out an aggravated sigh. 

 

“None of your business,” he said.  “You decided to follow me, so you have to listen to me.  Go.”

 

The logic wasn’t exactly sound in that argument, and Brendon raised an eyebrow.  Ryan responded with growling at him again, because it felt appropriate.  Brendon laughed, giddy and bright.  

 

“Okay, okay.  Don’t gotta go asserting your dominance on me.  I’ll go,” he teased, grinning mischievously at him.  “But you have to tell me your name before I do.” 

 

“What?  Why?” Ryan asked, letting go of his jacket and crossing his arms.  Brendon beamed. 

 

“Cause otherwise I won’t leave you alone.  I’ll follow you around and annoy you  _ all night. _  I got nothing else to do.” 

 

Ryan scowled at him.  “Fine,” he snapped.  “Whatever.  It’s Ryan.”

 

Brendon squinted his eyes and regarded Ryan for a moment before nodding, apparently coming to some sort of decision.  “It fits.  I approve.”

 

“You approve?” Ryan asked incredulously.  “You don’t get to approve of my  _ name _ .” 

 

“Well too bad, because I already did,” Brendon retorted, wrinkling his nose up and grinning at Ryan cheekily.   Ryan just narrowed his eyes. 

 

“Go,” he said, pointing.  Brendon laughed again, but he at least turned and loped off towards the bus stop.  He turned halfway there, walking backwards and waving with his entire arm.  

 

“Bye Ryan!” he hollered, then tripped over a rock and damn near fell on his ass.  Ryan didn’t let himself smile.  Brendon did, though.  He laughed out loud at himself, turned back around, and walked to the bus stop with an irritating bounce in his step.  

 

Ryan hurried away, towards the club, but he waited to make sure Brendon wasn’t following him before heading into the clearing and across the parking lot, up the steps, into the club. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“Coco Puffs!” Brendon hollered. Spencer gritted his teeth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point in wolf!verse, if you're still around you probably don't need a summary.

_“Everyone’s acting kind of weird… It’s the first full moon without Zack.I don’t know.”_

 

_“You just have to take things as they come.There’s no use fretting about them beforehand.”_

 

_“Yeah, no.I know that…”_

 

_“It’s good to know how different things affect us so that we know what’s normal and what’s not.Can you tell me about the full moon?”_

 

_“Yeah, sure.Jon gets all tired and sleeps a lot more.Will gets really antsy.Like he just wants to fight all the time, but like play fighting.He’s such a puppy, that’s what Zack always said.Spencer just gets mad.I think it’s worse this time.”_

 

_“And how about you, Brendon?”_

 

_“Um….manic.Kind of.It’s different with the pills.It used to be manic.Now it’s more, like, good….It just feels happy.”_

 

_“Even when Spencer’s upset?”_

 

_“Other people’s emotions are not a direct reflection of my actions.”_

 

_“You don’t have to recite things I’ve said back to me.”_

 

_“Yeah, but it’s fun.”_

 

 

**…**

 

 

Spencer meant to simply check the bottle and make sure Brendon was taking his medication.He didn’t want to ask Brendon about it, because there were very few moments where they could have that conversation without Jon hearing them, and Spencer didn’t need him finding out.Besides that, he wanted to be able to trust Brendon to do this himself.

 

Still… he was just going to check the bottle to see that there were less pills than the last time he checked.He was supposed to take them daily, and the bottle sat in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom next to a bottle of Ritalin that Brendon had stopped taking a week after starting.

 

Honestly, the ADHD diagnosis had been incredibly less surprising than the bipolar diagnosis.The pills made Brendon feel “fuzzy” though, he’d said.They’d all noticed the way he shuffled sluggishly around the apartment, not even himself anymore, so when he’d asked to stop taking them, no one had even considered saying no. 

 

He promised to take them if he _needed_ to, but so far they sat untouched, Brendon’s hyperactive tendencies kept under control with the mood stabilizers.Spencer rolled the bottle in his hands, read the instructions and the refill dates.He read the side effects, thought of Brendon on them, and put the bottle back.He turned back to the bottle in his other hand.It had made him feel better last time.He’d felt sated, the tension thrumming under his skin finally dissipating, relieving him from the urge to smash everyone’s head in.

 

The moon would be out Saturday, and Spencer could already feel it tugging under his skin, setting him on edge.He was closer to shifting with every passing moment, and the harder he worked to hold it back, the worse his mood got. 

 

Spencer popped the pill in his mouth, swallowed hard, and quickly put the bottle back in its place. 

 

“Okay,” Spencer whispered.“Alright…”

 

That was the last time, though.He wasn’t going to let that happen again, just this one time, because he needed _something_ to take the edge off of what he was feeling.But he was still a young alpha, and he’d get better control of himself as time went on.Next moon he’d be better; next moon he wouldn’t need this. 

 

“Okay,” he repeated.He looked at himself in the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair.Jon was in the kitchen, cooking or setting something on fire, Spencer couldn’t be sure.The boys would be home from school in half an hour or so.Tomorrow was Friday, and the full moon would come the night after, and everything would be fine. 

 

Brendon was taking his medication, and Spencer had borrowed some, but it was just temporary.It wouldn’t happen again.He just needed to keep an eye on Brendon. 

 

Spencer turned away from the mirror and went to help Jon with the cooking before he set off the fire alarms.Their neighbors hadn’t appreciated it last time, and Spencer wanted to stay on their landlord’s good side.Zack never ceased to remind him that it was best not to draw attention to the pack.Just another thing to worry about. 

 

“Careful with that,” Spencer said, taking the fork away from Jon so he wouldn’t scratch the hell out of his pans.“Good job, you didn’t burn anything.”

 

“I’m a master chef,” Jon said.Spencer snorted. 

 

“Shut up, pup,” Jon added.Spencer rolled his eyes and grinned.

 

 

**…**

 

 

Will had a mission, and he had to hurry. Not only was he under a time crunch before the secretary got back from wherever she’d gone off to, he also had Brendon and Sarah waiting for him outside.He’d told them to go home, but he doubted they’d listen.He’d also told them to pass a message along to Longineu if they saw him, and with his luck, Brendon would corner the poor guy and talk his ear off with embarrassing stories about William.

 

He just knew it would happen, and he’d rather it didn’t.At least not this soon.It was still early enough for Longineu to get scared away.

 

Will double checked the hall before ducking into the main office and sauntering up to the counter.If you wanted people to listen to you, you had to act confident, and boy was Will and expert at that.He leaned his elbows on the counter and drummed his fingertips against it. 

 

“Yo,” he said, and immediately felt like an idiot, but he didn’t let it show.“I got a question.”

 

One boy, someone Will was certain he’d seen in a few of his classes- he had to be a junior or a senior- swiveled around in his chair and rolled over.He stood up gracefully and stuffed his hands in his pockets. 

 

“How can I help you?”He was wearing a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, which was a fashion statement Will could get behind.His brown hair was sticking up in several places, matching the freckles sprinkled haphazardly across his nose and the crooked name tag attached to his shirt that read “Student Aid: Josh.”

 

“Hey Josh,” Will said.Josh was cute, and totally Will’s type when it came to boys.Will’s type was apparently very broad, though.Josh’s frizzy hair and pale face looked nothing like Longineu’s dark skin and braids, but Will felt it was best not to question things that probably didn’t have an answer.Will’s type also included girls, so maybe he was just open to anything. 

 

That was beside the point.He had a mission, and he needed to focus on that.“I need withdrawal papers.”

 

Another head immediately popped up as a different boy rose to his feet almost frantically.“You need what?” he asked.This one’s name tag said ‘Ben’ and he looked kind of like Captain America, but more 1940’s Steve Rogers and less post-serum super soldier.He was sporting a button up shirt and meticulously combed blonde hair, along with a worried expression.Will was pretty sure they’d seen each other at church before. 

 

“Withdrawal papers?” Will said, cringing slightly at the question in his voice but pushing past it, hoping it came off more like ‘um duh’ and less ‘I know I shouldn’t be doing this.’ 

 

“Okay,” Josh said, but was immediately stopped by Ben’s hand on his arm.Josh raised an eyebrow, and Ben’s hand fell in time with his mouth opening.

 

“A high school education is very important!” Ben said.“There’s not many places you can work without one, y’know.Not even McDonald’s.Everyone wants a high school degree these days.”

 

“Not exactly your problem, is it?” Will responded. 

 

“As a member of staff-”

 

“We aren’t staff, we’re volunteers,” Josh interrupted.

 

“-I am very concerned for your education.”Ben gave a definitive nod.Josh gave an eyeroll. 

 

“I just need the papers,” Will sighed.“Look, I might not even do anything with them.I just want the option, okay?” 

 

“But your education!” Ben argued. 

 

“G.E.D.,” Will shot back easily.He’d done his research, and the day he turned eighteen he could take the test and be home free.He could totally drop out before then.

 

Well, not exactly “dropout.”By law he was required to stay in high school until he was eighteen- then he could do whatever he wanted.That wouldn’t jive with his plan, though.He didn’t turn eighteen until December, and by then he might as well stay in school anyways.Besides, if Spencer found out he’d dropped out, he would literally kill him. 

 

If Will could withdraw from school _now_ in secret, totally legal with “parental permission,” it’d give him plenty of time to study for his G.E.D. test.By the time Jon and Spencer found out he’d quit school in December, it would be too late to do anything about it. 

 

William was obviously a genius, which was why he didn’t need to be in this God damn institution. 

 

“Found ‘em!” Josh shouted from where he was stooped over a filing cabinet burrowing around.Will grinned. 

 

“I’ll call your parents!” Ben blurted out, stoic expression on his face. 

 

“Like to see what they do to me from the east coast.”Will took the papers from Josh with a smile and looked them over. 

 

“Fine.Your guardian then,” Ben said. 

 

Will glanced up and raised an eyebrow.“Yeah, no.”

 

“Tell me your name.”

 

Will knew he wasn’t going to get out of there any time soon if he didn’t cooperate, and the secretary would be coming back any minute now.He heaved a put upon sigh and said the first name that came to mind. 

 

“Pete Wentz.” 

 

Ben scribbled it down dutifully on a post-it note.Josh was shooting Will a look that meant he totally knew that wasn’t Will’s name, but if Ben was dumb enough not to recognize Will- after all the trouble he’d gotten into, along with being the new kid at a school with like five hundred students in it at most- that was his own fault. 

 

Will turned and headed out of the office, only to pause and call out, “I’ll see you at church.Your mom making coffee cake again?That shit was _good_ ,” just to see the look on Ben’s face when he recognized him.Maybe Will would have to skip that Sunday.He wasn’t really in the mood for a talking to.

 

He stuffed the papers in his backpack as he ran out the doors of the school.There on the front steps, just as he’d figured they would be, were Brendon, Sarah, and Longineu.William was a fucking genius. 

 

“LP!” he hollered, leaping off the steps and grabbing Brendon into a headlock.“Don’t listen to a damn word he says.”

 

Brendon, giggling like the devil, fought back until Will finally dropped him to inspect a bite mark on his forearm.At least Brendon’s canines hadn’t been out, otherwise Will would have had to kill him.He’d rather not bleed on this shirt, thanks.It was one of his favorites, and one of the only ones that had survived from Florida. 

 

“Go home,” Will ordered.“Long and I are going out.” 

 

Under his breath, just loud enough to hear with human ears, Brendon muttered, “I knew it.”Sarah burst out laughing, and Will narrowed his eyes dangerously at both of them.He could feel his face heating up and hoped it wasn’t obvious.

 

“Shut the fuck up,” he snapped, then glanced at Longineu, whose face was breaking out into a shit eating grin. 

 

“Calm down, _Spencer_ ,” Brendon taunted back.“Someone’s got his panties in a twist today.”Will raised his fist and shook it, making Brendon grab Sarah by the arm and take off running down the sidewalk, both of them laughing the whole way.Will scowled, but Longineu was still grinning. 

 

“Yeah,” he said.“My little brothers drive me crazy, too.Betcha they aren’t home though.” 

 

Longineu punched Will on the arm and then ran towards his car across the parking lot.Will laughed, frustration immediately melting away, and chased after him.The school parking lot was empty except for a few cars with varsity football stickers on the back, and the players couldn’t see the parking lot from where they were practicing on the field.They were totally alone, so Will didn’t stop himself from crashing into Longineu when they got to the car, the other boy’s arms wrapping immediately around him.They shared a biting kiss, making both of them laugh.Longineu leaned in and bit at Will’s earlobe none too gently before pulling away and heading for his side of the car. 

 

“Get in, loser,” he said. 

 

“We’re going shopping.” 

 

“Mean Girls reference?Really?” Longineu asked as he pulled his car out of the parking space and took off across the lot.Will dug around in his backpack, trying to unearth the withdrawal papers without damaging them. 

 

“Hey!The guys love that movie.It’s a classic.”

 

“You’re a weirdo,” Longineu responded, then reached for the papers, eyes nowhere near the road.“What’s that?”

 

Will batted his hands away and pointed out the windshield, redirecting Longineu’s attention so they wouldn’t crash a die.“Withdrawal papers,” he said simply, but Longineu slammed on the breaks.For a mechanic, he was kind of a shitty driver.Not that Will had any room to judge, seeing as he hadn’t bothered to get his license yet.

 

“No way!” he shouted, pulling over to the side of the road and shifting into park.“Lemme see!”

 

Will handed the papers over obediently, watching a wide smile break out over Longineu’s face.“No fucking way.So you’re for real, then?”

 

“Real steel,” Will said.Longineu didn’t even bother rolling his eyes, too busy looking over the papers in his hands like they held all the secrets to the universe. 

 

“Dude, you’re the luckiest man alive,” he said.“How you gonna pull this off?”

 

Will picked at his nails and shrugged.“Forge Zack’s signature.Drop out and study for my G.E.D.Get that, and go from there.”

 

“Shit, man.”Longineu stared at the papers in awe for a few more seconds before handing them back and shifting back into gear.“Man, you’d better get yourself a job.” 

 

“Why’s that?” Will asked.He folded the papers carefully and slid them in between the pages of his bible. 

 

“For when your brothers kick you out.”Longineu smiled wide, and Will laughed back, punching him on the arm. 

 

“Shut the fuck up,” he said, shaking his head and smiling.“They ain’t finding out.And by the time they do, it won’t matter anyways.”

 

“Still need a job,” Longineu argued.Will rolled his eyes. 

 

“I need a signature first.I’m gonna head home and practice.Drop me off?” 

 

“Food first.You know you’re starving.” 

 

He wasn’t wrong.Of course William was hungry.Food turned out to be Jack in the Box in the next town over (“They have the best curly fries, man.I’m craving.”), and eating in the parking lot by the dumpster quickly turned into making out in the back seat.It was nearly seven by the time Will got back, just in time for dinner with the pack.He did his best to shrug off Spencer’s curious looks and didn’t bother with an excuse. 

 

 

...

 

 

“Dude.”Jon’s arms wrapped around Brendon from behind, hugging him back against his chest and squeezing just a little.“Chill.You okay?You take your meds today?” 

 

Brendon let out a long sigh, creating a puff of fog in the chilly evening air.“Yeah, no.I’m fine.” 

 

“We’ll have fun tonight,” Jon said, shaking him a little and messing up Brendon’s hair, making the pup smile.Jon smiled back and looked up at Spencer, who was stalking around a tree.“Right, Spin?”

 

Spencer’s head popped up, startled look on his face, before he nodded. “Oh, yeah.Sure, Jon.”Will ran over and jumped on top of Spencer, seemingly trying to knock him over, but Spencer stood there patiently and took it, letting Will hang off of him like a spider monkey. 

 

Brendon sighed again, worrying his lip and glancing out into the woods, something obviously on his mind.Jon was worried, but he was quickly distracted by Will finally managing to knock Spencer over and wrestle him to the ground.Spencer was reluctant, working mostly to shove Will off of him and keep him off, but Will was nothing if not stubborn as hell.It was really funny to watch, and between that and the way Brendon relaxed enough to sag back against him, Jon found himself smiling.

 

“What do they do if they don’t have a pack?” Brendon’s voice piped up over the sounds of Will laughing and Spencer growling and cursing quietly. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“Wolves.What do they do on the full moon without a pack?” Brendon pulled away from Jon and glanced at him, slumping back against a tree and burrowing deeper into his hoodie.His eyes looked huge, specks of gold dancing in the brown from the moon’s gentle coaxing as the sun started to go down. 

 

“You know another werewolf in town?” Jon asked, immediately curious, because if someone was out there running around on their own they could easily get hurt in turf wars or by hunters or countless other things.They’d need a pack to protect them, and well… their pack kind of stood for that sort of thing.It was a family tradition, really.

 

“No, no,” Brendon said quickly. “I’m just… just curious.What would they do?” 

 

Jon chewed on his lip and watched Spencer hold a wriggling Will in a headlock, grinning triumphantly.“Go out on their own and hope for the best,” he answered.“Maybe try and stay inside, but that’s messy.It depends, Bren.” 

 

Brendon nodded again, glancing out towards the woods with that same pensive look on his face.He eventually sighed and tugged his hoodie off.“Moon’s comin’,” he said.Jon nodded and started stripping as well.He kicked at Will and Spencer because they weren’t paying attention, and Will responded by biting at his ankles. 

 

As the seconds ticked down, Spencer crossed his arms over his chest and squinted at the darkening sky.Eventually Jon felt the tug under his skin becoming too much, and with a quick nod from Spencer, they all let the moon take over and bounded into the woods.

 

 

 

…

 

 

Things were as they always were, though it was a bit strange without Zack around.The last full moon, the one right before Zack shipped off for Pennsylvania, he’d been there with them, but he’d let Spencer take control.It had been surreal, but it wasn’t anything Jon hadn’t seen before growing up. 

 

It was still strange.Zack, always so confident and in control and prominent and just the definition of an _alpha_ , presenting his throat to Spencer and surrendering control of the pack.They weren’t an orthodox pack by any sense of the word, but some things were sacred, and a shift in power was one of them.

 

Jon wondered how the full moon was treating Zack and Jenny, all the way across the country roaming the Pennsylvania forest with a pack five times Jon’s own, if not more.There wasn’t much room to think about it, too busy sprinting around the mountains, just taking in the fresh night air.Afterwards, once they were back to normal and dusting themselves off, tugging clothes back on for the long walk home, he had to wonder how Zack’s night had gone. 

 

Jon’s own was kind of a nightmare.Will and Brendon were being careful to stay quiet and keeping to themselves, tucked a little closer together than normal.Jon himself was giving Spencer space, instincts kicking in and telling him to fall back with his tail between his legs.It was harder to control these things when the moon was still so powerful. 

 

Spencer was storming mad, growling and scowling and pretty much vibrating under his skin as he yanked his clothes on with far more force than necessary and started stomping back towards the apartment.Jon wanted to go back and kick some ass, but he mostly wanted a nap. 

 

He couldn’t believe it.They’d been having a perfectly good time, minding their own business, relaxing for what felt like the first time in forever, when suddenly Spencer tensed up and froze.His ears shot up and then back, and his eyes darted around, making it obvious that they had company.

 

Jon had been expecting hunters, honestly, because they were prone to that kind of bad luck.He’d never imagined it would be one of the neighboring packs circling them, snapping at them and chasing them back.Spencer tried to hold his own, because he wasn’t the type to let anyone shove him around, but the effort had been moot.The pack was there to make a point, that just because they’d respected Zack and had a treaty with _him_ didn’t mean they offered that same kindness to Spencer.

 

It was stigmatized, of course, packs having young alphas, let alone alphas that weren’t borne.It was nearly unheard of that Spencer was a two year old pup _and_ a pack alpha. 

 

They made their point very clearly, driving Jon, Will, and Brendon back while the other alpha fought with Spencer.What Spencer had in size, he lacked in experience, and now he had the bruises and scrapes to prove it.He was hiding them pretty well, hood pulled up and hair acting like a curtain over his face, but he’d been limping as a wolf when the pack had finally gotten bored and ran off, and he didn’t look much better as a human.

 

As a testament to his willpower, Spencer was furious.Jon had tried talking to him, but Spencer had growled loud enough to raise the hair on the back of Jon’s neck, and he figured now wasn’t the time to push.He followed along at the back of the line, acting like a barrier between potential dangers and the boys, who were eying Spencer very cautiously and not saying anything. 

 

Jon would check on them later if Spencer didn’t beat him to it.Spencer probably would, though.He was mad, sure, but he was also pretty damn good at his job.He also cared about the pack more than anyone could possibly imagine, so fuck that other pack and anyone else who thought Spencer didn’t deserve to be alpha.Jon would kick their ass.He seriously would.

 

He was maybe a little bit riled up by the entire situation.

 

Jon let Spencer slam the apartment door behind him, then he opened it again and ushered Will and Brendon inside.“Go to bed,” he said, receiving a concerned glance and a lazy thumbs up.He shut and locked the door very gently behind them, then he wandered off to find Spencer. 

 

When Jon pushed open the bathroom door, Spencer jumped about a foot in the air, and half the contents of the medicine cabinet clattered into the sink.Jon moved to his side wordlessly and put everything back into place, leaving out the neosporin. 

 

“Sit,” he said quietly, nodding towards the toilet.Spencer sat, no eye rolls or sassy remarks or anything, which meant he must have been really in his head after the whole thing.He was staring at Jon with huge eyes, looking like he was guilty of something, but it wasn’t Spencer’s fault what happened in the woods.Jon was too tired to explain that to him though, so he settled for taking care of him instead.He cleaned up the scrapes on Spencer’s throat left from the other wolf’s teeth, and he dabbed carefully at the claw marks on Spencer’s ribs and chest.It felt achingly familiar of the night they met, Jon helping clean Spencer up in the kitchen after watching him get bit.Unlike last time, Spencer wasn’t crying.He had the same young expression on his face, though- scared out of his mind.Jon tugged gently at a piece of Spencer’s hair to soothe him and watched as his eyes drooped shut. 

 

“You were limping,” he said, crouching between his knees.“Legs okay?” 

 

Spencer swallowed hard, opened his eyes, and nodded.His voice was gravelly when he spoke.“Bruised, probably.It’ll heal by evening” 

 

“No ice?”

 

Spencer shook his head.“Just sleep.You about done?” 

 

Jon grinned and pushed himself up, relishing the way his aching muscles screamed at him.He always loved the sore feeling he had after the full moon, like he’d properly exhausted himself, finally let all the tension out in one big hoorah. 

 

“The proper thing to say is ‘thank you,’” he teased.Spencer’s grin was a huge relief. 

 

He pushed himself to his feet and said, “Thank you.”He then squeezed Jon’s shoulder and pressed a chaste kiss to the side of Jon’s head before leaving the room.Jon knew it wasn’t a big deal.He was used to affectionate gestures from his pack mates and his friends and basically everyone from the day he was born, but the kiss floored him for a moment.He stood there uselessly in the bathroom, under the way-too-bright lights, feeling the nerves on his temple tingle. 

 

The boy staring back at him in the mirror looked confused and exhausted, kind of dirty and not as old as Jon felt most of the time.He wondered when he would start looking like his dad, or like Zack or the other men in his mom’s pack.If twenty-one years on earth and a decent amount of stubble weren’t enough to make him look grown up, what would be? 

 

Jon shook his head at himself and put the medicine cabinet back into place.He bared his canines in the mirror and raised an eyebrow.He wasn’t going to get any taller, but his wolf still had potential to grow.Maybe his shoulders would fill out more, or he’d get wrinkles around his mouth and eyes like his parents.Finally, deciding that the moon and that night’s actions had him totally worn out, Jon flicked off the light and retreated to bed. 

 

When he peeked into Will and Brendon’s room to check in, he found Will sprawled out and sleeping and Brendon’s bed empty.He quickly found him in the room Jon and Spencer shared, curled up in a fuzzy ball under the blankets, snout and golden eyes peeking out at Jon.Spencer was practically wrapped around him, snoring softly and fast asleep. 

 

Jon mouthed the words “Go to sleep,” to Brendon and crawled into his own bed with a grin on his face.Whatever was broken, he could worry about fixing it in the morning.For the time being, everyone was safe, and it was time to sleep.

 

 

 

… 

 

 

What happened the night of the full moon was nothing Ryan could have anticipated.He’d expected it to hurt, to be excruciating as he switched from one body to another, but in truth he couldn’t even remember the transition.He hadn’t expected the feeling that welled up in his chest, something so foreign that he could only identify it as “panic” even though that wasn’t the correct word, not really.He hadn’t expected to remember any of it, nor had he thought he’d be struggling back to his room in the morning, sore and slightly disoriented, but mostly exhausted.

 

Ryan was so glad he hadn’t misplaced his key during the night’s events.Somehow, through weird wolf senses or otherwise, he’d known exactly where to find the clothes that he’d abandoned in his hurry to undress.They were dirty, but fine, and his motel room key was exactly where he’d left it.

 

He left himself into his room, shuffling in on aching feet, legs… everything.He was sore all over, as if it had actually been him exerting himself and running miles and miles through the woods that night.He supposed it had been him, actually.He had all the memories to prove it- greyscale, and a bit fuzzy around the edges, but memories nonetheless.

 

Ryan wasn’t sure what time it was.He knew the proper thing to do would be to shower, because he smelled like dirt and sweat and a million other things, but he barely had the energy to move.Instead of risking passing out and drowning in an attempt to bathe, Ryan kicked his shoes off and collapsed face first on his bed.Dahvie would be stopping by tomorrow, but Ryan could deal with that in the morning.He’d shower and be ready and make Dahvie happy and everything would be fine.

 

For the first time in a long time, Ryan had absolutely no trouble falling asleep.

 

 

He woke up with a start, heart pounding alarmingly hard in his chest and claws piercing the bed in panic.His teeth ached almost as bad as the headache behind his eyes.He might have been dehydrated, but Dahvie slamming the motel door probably wasn’t helping either.

 

“You don’t answer my calls,” Dahvie started, picking Ryan’s discarded shoes up off the floor and throwing them at the opposite wall, out of sight behind the bed.Ryan ducked instinctively.“You don’t answer your door,” he continued, ripping the blankets off the bed and throwing them down.Ryan scrambled back.

 

“And I find you like this!” he roared, grabbing Ryan gruffly by the upper arm and dragging him off of the bed.Ryan yelped and scrambled after him, unable to move fast enough.He stumbled.Dahvie all but tossed him into the bathroom. 

 

“You’re filthy!” he snapped.“Undress.” 

 

When Ryan hesitated, sleep addled, headachey brain not keeping up with the action, Dahvie took a menacing step forward and bit out, “Now!”

 

Ryan did it now, immediately, shucking off pants and underwear, pulling his shirt off, and scrambling to remove socks.The moment he was done, Dahvie shoved him into the shower.Ryan lost his balance and just barely caught himself before crashing to the ground.Dahvie didn’t seem to care.He turned the shower head on with a full blast of icy water that had Ryan shivering immediately. 

 

“I’m very disappointed in you, Ryan,” Dahvie said, fixing Ryan with a glare that said if he moved a muscle, it’d be the last thing he did. Ryan stayed still.“I thought you agreed to be good for me.Thought you learned after your last lesson.”

 

Ryan couldn’t stop trembling.The icy water made his skin feel like it was on fire.He wanted to shout that he didn’t mean to, that he didn’t deserve to be punished for this, that it wouldn’t happen again, but there was only one acceptable answer.“I’m sorry,” he said.

 

“I know this isn’t easy on you.”Dahvie’s voice was compassionate all of a sudden, and the shift in gears had Ryan’s head spinning.“But I need you to try harder.This is unacceptable behavior, and after everything I’ve done for you!The least you can do is put in a little effort.”

 

Ryan didn’t glare, and he certainly didn’t growl or scream the way he wanted to.He stayed quiet, the way he was supposed to.“What if I’d had a client with me?What would he think?Seeing you all dirty like this.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Ryan repeated.Dahvie’s expression changed to one of sympathy, a sad grin, gentler eyes.He reached out and turned off the water, but Ryan was still left shivering in the cold air. 

 

“I know you are,” Dahvie said.“You’re behaving now, at least, so I’ll let you off easy.But remember what happens if you pull a stunt like this again.”His hand rested casually on his belt buckle, but Ryan got the message loud and clear.He nodded. 

 

“Good,” Dahvie said in a gentle voice, which was why the hand cracking against the side of his face caught him entirely off guard and knocked him to the floor of the shower.His head pounded, headache reawakened.He tasted blood. 

 

“Clean yourself up,” Dahvie said, voice like ice again, almost as cold as the water he turned back on.“Let that teach you a lesson.”

 

 

**…**

 

 

“This’ll teach ya!” Jon yelled.There was a thump, and a yelp, and then Brendon was screaming bloody murder.Spencer felt his eye twitch.He reluctantly turned his head to see what the ruckus was about. 

 

“Jon, get offa me!” Brendon shouted amongst giggles and squeals and blood curdling screams.One of their neighbors was going to file a noise complaint. “I’m sorry!You win!Get off!” Brendon screamed.Jon laughed, pinning the smaller boy with ease and tickling him relentlessly. 

 

“It’s too late for that!Take it like a man!” 

 

Brendon screamed and kicked to no avail.Spencer gritted his teeth and glared back at the TV, where a story about ‘new biological information about werewolves’ was playing on the Denver news station. 

 

“You see, Dave….” the white collared man on TV started to say, but Spencer’s mind immediately wandered off.The news anchor’s shirt reminded him of work, and how he had to be up early the next morning, and how he really needed to get some of his work done for the accelerated program he was in.With any luck, he’d have his associates by January, but not if he didn’t do his program assignments.

 

Will was on the computer doing… something, and every time Spencer mentioned it, he said he’d been off in “Just a minute, Spence, chill.” 

 

Another scream made Spencer flinch.There was a thump, and some growling as Jon and Brendon wrestled somewhere behind the couch.“Name five types of cereals!” Jon shouted as the two of them rolled into view.Spencer rolled his eyes.“I won’t quit till you name cereals!Go!” 

 

Brendon stammered, continuing to giggle and struggle helplessly.From his spot curled up on the couch, Will murmured, “Lucky Charms,” and then returned to typing. 

 

“Would you guys shut the fuck up?” Spencer snapped, hearing a broom handle knocking against the floor from the apartment below them. 

 

Jon planted a hand to the side of Brendon’s head and held him down, grinning innocently up at Spencer.“Oh come on, Spin.Lighten up.”

 

Spencer growled, which made Jon laugh, which made Spencer only want to growl more.“You’re always so tense after the full moon, grouchy pants.Why don’t you go to the gym or something?” 

 

Brendon squirmed free enough to bite down hard on Jon’s arm, making him yelp and topple down on top of Brendon.Just like that the two were at it again, wrestling and tickling, Jon yelling about cereal and Brendon screaming like Jon was killing him.Spencer got to his feet and left the room, shutting the bathroom door firmly behind him and taking in a deep breath. 

 

“Coco Puffs!” Brendon hollered.Spencer gritted his teeth.He splashed some water on his face, trying to calm whatever it was clawing under his skin and making it hard to breathe.He felt trapped, which was ridiculous.He didn’t know what was wrong with him lately.

 

He knew what helped though, and he knew it was wrong, but it was either this or murder his entire pack in the next five minutes.Spencer worked as quietly as he could, opening the cabinet and shaking a pill into his hand.He squinted at it, then sighed and tossed it back, swallowing it and taking a deep breath.

 

He was fine.He’d be fine.It was just one pill.It wasn’t anything to worry about. Brendon wouldn’t even notice. 

 

Spencer replaced the lid and put the bottle back where it belonged.He checked the time on his cellphone- six o’ clock.Just about time to start dinner.He felt his stomach growl. 

 

Spencer made a beeline through the living room and into the kitchen, where he rooted around in the freezer for something filling and easy to make.He found a frozen lasagna that would take forty-five minutes in the oven and figured that was good enough.He had to go grocery shopping again.Thinking about that stressed him out.They barely had the money for it. 

 

It was significantly quieter in the living room, so Spencer heard Jon approaching before he was at his side. 

 

“Hey,” Jon said, seeming to hesitate for a moment before leaning his head against Spencer’s shoulder.Spencer wondered what that was about, but it was probably nothing.He was just imagining things.“You okay?” Jon asked.Spencer frowned.

 

He tried hard not to sound guilty, tried to keep his expression entirely blank as he responded, “Yeah, of course.Why wouldn’t I be?” 

 

It worked, and Jon bought it.He shrugged before wrapping an arm around Spencer and pulling him into a sideways hug.“Just checking.Someone’s gotta take care of you, too, pup.”

 

Spencer smiled, chuckling lightly, and said, “Sure. Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to discuss drug addiction and other messy topics covered in this thing. Firstly we have to recognize that drug addiction is a real problem, it's not pretty and it's not just a fun thing to write about in stories. It's also not something to demonize. That in mind, as this goes on we have to remember that people cannot control their situation, but they can control their actions. I grew up with an alcoholic family member who has a prescription drug problem. She found herself in the hospital on overdose time after time, and while we all felt bad and tried to help her, if someone is unwilling to try and help themselves there isn't anything you can do. 
> 
> So there are a lot of negative feelings around this sort of issue that need to be dealt with. I'm hoping in this book and the next to tackle Spencer's character in a way that doesn't make you hate him, but also doesn't excuse any of the trouble he might get himself into. Because Spencer's an amazing character. I love this character. Sometimes good people make bad choices, though, and there's always consequences for that. 
> 
> On a similar note dealing with Ryan Ross, we have to remember that there are real people out there dealing with the very real and scary realities of what these characters are going through. I don't want to trivialize these problems by writing them, I just want to tell a story. I also pray regularly for the real people in these situations, that they'll get through it and be okay. 
> 
> The themes in this project of mine are gross and awful, but they're also very real and that's the entire point. When I set out to write this, I wanted to have supernatural people dealing with incredibly human problems. So yeah... felt the need to say that. 
> 
> ON A LIGHTER NOTE, MY BETA (kcracken) IS AMAZING AND YOU GUYS SHOULD GO WORSHIP HER and more to come. Please comment. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wolf boys doin' wolf boy things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S CONCERNING THAT BOOK 4 HAS 77 VIEWS AND INTERMISSION HAS 70 VIEWS LIKE SEVEN OF YOU SKIPPED INTERMISSION AND ARE GONNA HAVE NO IDEA WHO RYAN ROSS IS (in the scope of this fic universe at least, let’s be real, everyone knows who Ryan Ross is) LIKE OMG anyways

_“Look.Look, I know they’re good for me, but I don’t like it.”_

 

_“What don’t you like about them, Brendon?”_

 

_“I don’t like having to take them.I don’t like that I can’t fix my head on my own. I don’t like being a crazy person.”_

 

_“You’re not a crazy person-”_

 

_“No, you’re right.My head’s just fucked up.”_

 

_“Breathe and think.You’re making the situation bigger than it is.”_

 

_“Hah.Yeah.I’m just messing things up again.”_

_  
“I didn’t say that…. Did you take your medication this morning?”_

 

_“I don’t want to.I should be able to be fine without it.”_

 

_“Is that so?”_

 

_“Yes!”_

 

_“If you met someone who couldn’t move their legs, would you tell them they should be able to get around without a wheel chair?”_

 

_“....No….”_

 

_“I want you to work on not being so mean to yourself.Yes, you can function without the medication, but you’ll be functioning with anxiety that makes you miserable and puts you in danger.You don’t_ have _to function without it, and frankly, I don’t want you to.”_

 

_“I’m sorry…”_

 

_“You didn’t do anything wrong.You’re allowed to be upset.”_

 

_“Yeah, but….”_

 

_“Emotions aren’t ours to control, only the way we handle them.”_

 

…

 

 

It was cold out, again, and it would probably only be getting colder as the days went on, but at least Ryan had remembered to wear a hat this time.He tugged it down over his ears and bundled his hands up in his hoodie sleeves, stuffing those in his pocket for safety.The wind came flying down the mountains, biting and powerful, stinging Ryan’s cheeks and making his hair and clothes flap all over the place.

 

He was taking the bus, then, just so that he didn’t freeze to death.Dahvie wouldn’t be very happy with him if he died.He had to be “useful.” 

 

Ryan was a little pissed about being on stage that night, after Dahvie had sent four guys his way that morning.Dahvie was pretty mad at him over the full moon incident, even though he said he wasn’t.He’d also said Ryan wasn’t “pulling his weight,” so Dahvie would continue to “give him assignments” until Ryan learned to “keep himself busy.”Honestly ever since getting into this sex work business, it seemed like Dahvie talked almost entirely in code.Between the business talk and the pet names, sometimes Ryan had no idea what he was even trying to say.It was best just to nod along.Agreeing got him in the least amount of trouble.

 

Dahvie wasn’t there, though, so Ryan let himself be moody and grumble as he walked to the bus stop.His bad mood only heightened when the bus stop came into view and he noticed a familiar figure huddled up on the bench.

 

He groaned out loud and threw his hands in the air, possibly throwing a mild temper tantrum as he stomped to the bus stop.“What the hell are you doing here?” he snapped. 

 

Brendon jumped about a foot in the air.His head snapped up to look at Ryan, and he yanked earbuds out of his ears, balling them up and shoving them into his coat pocket.“Ryan!” he cheered.Ryan scowled.

 

“What are you doing here?” he repeated, narrowing his eyes at the boy. 

 

“Oh!” Brendon said.His leg started bouncing up and down, and his fingers tumbled over each other where he played anxiously with his coat zipper.Ryan felt the impulse to grab Brendon’s hands, or just, like, pin him down and make him hold still.That was a ridiculous thing to think about doing, considering he wanted Brendon to disappear off the face of the Earth so he would stop showing up and bothering him.Physical contact would make that goal less attainable, probably.Unless Ryan killed him. 

 

Which, hey.Ryan had thought he was above prostitution.It wouldn’t be incredibly surprising if he succumbed to murder. 

 

“I wanted to talk to you.I knew if I waited here long enough you’d show up,” Brendon said with a wide smile.What did he have to be so happy about?Ryan crossed his arms and plopped down on the bus stop bench.The metal was cold through his jeans.It made him shiver.

 

“Lucky I showed up on your first day of testing this then,” he grumbled.

 

“No.I was here yesterday, too,” Brendon said.Ryan glanced at him suspiciously.

 

“What? Why?”

 

Brendon grinned, seemingly unphased by Ryan’s hostility.The kid was some kind of infinity pool of cheeriness.It was unnerving. 

 

“I wanted to see how the moon went for you, and you never called me, so I dunno how to get in touch with you without running into you.”Brendon shrugged.Ryan raised an eyebrow.

 

“And you just knew I’d be taking the bus?” he asked.

 

“Well… this is the road you usually walk, so either you’d catch the bus or walk past me eventually.”

 

“You know, you’re not doing much to convince me you’re not a stalker,” Ryan said instead of acknowledging that Brendon was behaving like a crazy person, waiting around for him for hours, as if he actually cared or something.Which he _shouldn’t_ , because if Ryan told him even a fraction of the shit he got up to, Brendon would turn on his heel and run.Brendon really shouldn’t get himself involved in Ryan’s mess. 

 

“You think I’m a stalker?” Brendon asked. 

 

“You kind of are.” 

 

Brendon laughed, bright and clear as a bell.“If you would just call me, we wouldn’t have this problem.” 

 

“So _helping_ you stalk me would solve this problem?” Ryan asked, not sure why he was indulging Brendon in this conversation, or why it was slowly making the tension in his chest dissipate. 

 

“If you called me, I’d be your friend, not your stalker,” Brendon answered. 

 

“Oh gee, an offer I can’t refuse,” Ryan deadpanned.Brendon laughed again. 

 

“So how’d the full moon treat you?You don’t look roughed up, but it’s been a few days, so it’s hard to tell.” 

 

Ryan felt pretty roughed up after that morning, but that wasn’t any of this kid’s business.He shrugged.“Fine.Weird.Pretty uneventful, though.” 

 

“Y’know….” Brendon’s hands picked back up with the fidgeting.“My friend said it can be dangerous to go out on your own… and, like, it can be dangerous anyways.One of the older packs in the area tried to start shit with us!It was a disaster.But, like, it can be dangerous on your own, so… If you wanna come out with my pack next time, that’d be totally okay.” 

 

Brendon’s rambling finally came to a halt, and Ryan blinked a few times to catch up.There was a laundry list of reasons why he couldn’t go out with Brendon’s group of fuzzy weirdos.For one, the chance that Dahvie would even let him out next full moon was slim, and he probably wouldn’t be happy about Ryan getting friendly with other werewolves.Also, Ryan didn’t like strangers, and he didn’t want to meet a whole pack of them.For another reason, Brendon had mentioned someone named ‘Spencer’ before, and while Ryan couldn’t imagine Brendon’s Spencer being the same person as his own, he didn’t want to take any chances. 

 

“Yeah, no,” he said carefully, after hesitating for way too long.“Not sure I wanna tag along if you guys got people attacking you,” he said.“I’ll take my chances.” 

 

There was a very brief moment where it looked like Brendon was pouting, but it disappeared with a flash when the bus pulled up.Brendon stood up and shrugged.“No problem,” he said.“But, like, the door’s always open.Kay?”

 

“Sure,” Ryan said.“Um.See ya, then.” 

 

Brendon grinned and waved goodbye way too enthusiastically while Ryan climbed onto the bus.He slumped down in a seat near the front and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ward off a headache. That kid was too much.What was Ryan getting himself into?

 

 

**…**

 

“Okay, so you put one foot on the deck and then push,” Will said, pushing off and rolling slowly to a stop next to Longineu, who didn’t look convinced.“If I can learn, then so can you.”

 

“That’s not very convincing…” Longineu said, cringing a bit. 

 

“Um…” Will thought for a moment.“If Brendon can learn how, then so can you?” he offered.Longineu grinned. 

 

“Better,” he said. 

 

“Fuck you!I’m like Tony Hawk, bitches!” Brendon yelled from across the park where he and Sarah were playing some kind of weird game with wet leaves and a plastic fork.Will had commandeered Brendon’s skateboard for a very important cause, something Brendon was all too ready to waggle his eyebrows about, blowing kissy faces at Will and Longineu until Sarah dragged him away. 

 

“Okay,” Longineu said quietly, setting one foot on the board.“So I-” 

 

He shifted his weight and pushed off, only to have the board fly backwards out from under him.He went crashing to the ground, Will only just catching him before he slammed his face into the concrete.For once his enhanced strength was coming in handy.

 

Longineu laughed and scrambled back to his feet, dislodging Will’s hands from his jacket and shaking his braids out of his face.“Yeah, fuck that,” he said.

 

“No, come on!” Will protested.“Try again.You got this.” 

 

Longineu rolled his eyes and reached up to tie his hair out of his face, and Will jogged after the board, which had bounced off the fence and tipped over.One of the wheels was still spinning.Will kicked it over and rolled back to Longineu, grabbing onto his shoulders to slow down and making them both laugh. 

 

“Okay, fine.Be ready to catch me.”Longineu pushed gently, and Will stepped back onto solid ground. 

 

He held his hands out to steady Longineu as he stepped on, grinning when he took them and didn’t let go.“Try this,” Will said, keeping a hold of Longineu’s hands and pulling him along gently.They rolled around the flat section of the park, outside of the ramps they weren’t ready to conquer yet.When they hit their first bump, Longineu’s eyes went comically wide, and William laughed. 

 

“Calm down, I won’t let you fall,” he said. 

 

“My hero.”Longineu bit his lip to hide a grin and made eye contact with Will.Will stared right back at him, which was enough of a distraction that he fumbled his footing and tripped entirely over his own leg.Will gasped and went down, tugging Longineu along with him.The two tumbled to the ground in an uncomfortable heap while the board ran away from them again, rocketing right through the middle of the park. 

 

Will felt Longineu shaking and grimaced, opening his eyes to check on him, which was when he saw Longineu’s wide grin.He was nearly beside himself laughing at them.Will narrowed his eyes and punched him awkwardly in the arm.“Stop laughing at me, asshole!”

 

“Smooth, Key.Real smooth.”He laughed even harder, ducking his head so that his nose bumped against Will’s color bone.Will felt his breath stutter in his chest, and he felt Longineu go still against him.The other boy glanced up, looking at Will with wide eyes.Their faces were only inches apart, and if Will leaned up the right way….

 

Longineu glanced up and around, seemingly coming back to himself as he grinned easily and shook his head.He clambered off the ground and offered a hand down to Will once he was back on his feet.“I’ll go get the board,” he said.Will nodded dumbly.

 

Will glanced over to see Brendon and Sarah not paying any attention to them.They were preoccupied with flinging dead leaves at each other and at the fence.Will rolled his eyes.A noise from the middle of the park caught his attention though. 

 

He turned to see who was whistling.It was a boy on top of one of the ramps, leaning lazily on the handlebars of a scooter.Another boy on a bike catcalled.Will looked to see Longineu draw his shoulders up tight and stalk back towards Will, board clutched under his arm.He looked embarrassed.Will felt his own face heating up. 

 

“What’s going on?” he asked when Longineu was close enough.Longineu just shook his head and handed the board back. 

 

“Nothing.Just some guys trying to be funny.” 

 

Will wanted to say something else, but Longineu didn’t look like he was up for discussing it, so he let it go.Instead he hopped on the board and showed Longineu how to do a one-eighty, popping up the front wheel and throwing his weight around.Longineu was grinning again in seconds, shaking his head in amusement as Will spun around making Star Trek beam noises.

 

He eventually got dizzy enough to stop, Longineu having to reach out and steady him.He was in the process of trying to convince Longineu to go down one of the ramps (“Oh no.Pas du taut.Not today, Satan.You just wanna see me burn out.”) when scooter boy went zipping past them, spitting on their shoes and muttering the word “Faggots.” 

 

Longineu wrinkled his face up, mumbling “ew…” and stepping back, but Will wasn’t about to be that calm about it.He hopped off the board and took a few steps towards scooter boy. 

 

“The fuck did you just say?” he shouted. 

 

The kid on the scooter rolled back around to face Will.He propped his scooter against the fence and crossed his arms across his chest, smile playing on his lips.“I called you a faggot.No wonder your boyfriend can’t skate.He’s too light in his loafers.” 

 

“Oooh, very clever,” Will sniped.“Think I’ve heard my gramma use that one.”He balled his fists at his sides and felt Longineu’s hand wrap around his arm. 

 

“Dude, no.It’s not worth it.”He tried to tug Will back gently, which the other kid absolutely ate up. 

 

“Yeah, _dude_.Listen to your boyfriend,” he sneered, which was enough to light a fire in Will.He tore away from Longineu and punched the other kid right across the face.Will was expecting the guy to throw a punch back.He wasn’t expecting him to throw his shoulder into Will’s middle and send them both crashing to the ground.Longineu was immediately there, trying to jump in and help, but one of scooter boy’s buddies tugged him off and kept him busy.That was fine.Will could take this dickhead down all on his own. 

 

Somewhere in the middle of throwing punches and shoving and trying to avoid getting his head slammed into the concrete, Will realized that Brendon had jumped in and was helping Longineu out with the other guy, or trying to at least.Will couldn’t be bothered to pay much attention, a cuff that had him tasting blood told him that much.He threw his knee into the other kid’s groin, fighting dirty, and rolled them over. 

 

Scooter boy must have had more friends than Will had previously noticed, because there were certainly more people involved in the scuffle than just the five of them.Will had gotten a handful of hits in and was about to knock the dickhead underneath him into next week when an all too familiar siren went off and all of them froze. 

 

Will looked up from red and blue painted across the concrete to see an angry looking police officer marching towards them.His eyes went wide, and he snapped over to Longineu and Brendon, shouting “Shit, guys!Run!” 

 

Scooter kid took his chance to deck Will in the nose, knocking him sideways, but Will immediately found footing and launched himself back at the kid. 

 

“Hey!Hey break it up!” the cop yelled.One of them grabbed Will, just about lifting him off his feet and picking him off the other kid while they dragged him back.Scooter boy was yanked to his feet as well, looking none too happy about it.Will could see Brendon and Longineu sprinting away through the wire fence surrounding the park.That was good.Longineu’s dad would throw a conniption if he got arrested. 

 

Oh fuck, WIll was getting arrested. 

 

The cops didn’t bother putting cuffs on either of them, just kept a firm hold of both of them and demanded addresses.Will spit his out easily, knowing better than to put up a fight.The officers continued to lecture them about violence while they hauled them over to the police cars.There was a second one that Will hadn’t noticed earlier, but apparently there wasn’t anything else exciting enough in town to warrant their attention. 

 

Will noticed the owner of the 7-Eleven across the street frowning at them with his arms crossed.He would have bet anything that it was that guy who called the cops.Guess Will wouldn’t be getting Slurpees from there anytime soon. 

 

That wasn’t really the biggest issue at hand, considering he was being guided into the back of a police car and everything smelled like blood and sweat and raging hormones.He hoped he broke the other guy’s nose.Assholes who used slurs deserved to have their noses broken. 

 

Will wasn’t really sure what had set him off actually.Yeah, okay, it wasn’t like he was known for being a pacifist.Will was more than ready to fight when it was necessary, as he’d proven with Brendon last school year and countless times on the road, but it normally took more instigation than that.Usually the other guy threw the first punch. 

 

Will felt something feral and protective rolling around under his skin, but he tamped it down, trying to pay attention to the police officer’s lecture as he drove him home (only a two minute drive, really).The better he behaved for this guy, the sooner this would all be over.He didn’t want the officer to change his mind and haul Will into the station instead.He’d already spent too much time there, and it wasn’t something he’d like to repeat. 

 

“Violence isn’t the way to solve anything, kid,” the cop told him. 

 

Will nodded along obediently and stared out the window, hoping Longineu and Brendon got home alright. 

 

Brendon.Fuck. Spencer was gonna be so pissed at them.

 

 

**…**

 

 

Spencer had his computer propped open on his lap and his cell phone pressed against his ear as he half-heartedly stared at the quiz he had to complete before midnight and listened to Zack talking about his baby daughter.

 

“Yeah, she’s getting so big.I saw those pictures you emailed,” he said, giving up on his quiz and scrolling aimlessly through Reddit.He was only half listening at this point, answering questions like “Yes, Brendon’s alright.He’s taking his medicine.” 

 

“I think Will’s okay, but, like, you know how Will is.”

 

“Yeah, no.Hasn’t gotten into trouble lately.” 

 

“Yeah, Zack, we’re covering rent just fine.Don’t worry about it.” 

 

In retrospect, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that his mother had dropped off the face of the Earth.Spencer wasn’t sure he could handle a double dose of interrogation every week or so.Zack was bad enough all on his own. 

 

He tapped his fingers against the keyboard, considering for a moment, before opening up his email and starting a draft to his dad- the only family member he actually kept in touch with anymore.He idly skimmed through the last one and formulated what to say back while Zack rambled on. 

 

A loud and sudden knock on the door tore his attention away from the computer.“What was that?” Zack asked through the phone.Spencer set the laptop down next to him and got up, popping his back and wandering over to the door. 

 

He glanced through the peephole and immediately lost the lazy air that had been following him around all day.“Oh fuck.Shit-” 

 

“Spencer?What?” the voice in the phone asked.Spencer ended the call and slipped the phone into his pocket.He took a deep breath and opened the door. 

 

“Good evening, officer,” he said, going for respectful and mature.“How can I help you?” He glanced between the cop and Will, who was pretending to inspect his fingernails and be completely unaware of what was going on around him.He was dirty, and his clothes and hair were disheveled impressively.Spencer was unfortunately not surprised to see blood dripping from his nose and a few accompanying bruises.The officer didn’t look too happy to be there, and if Spencer wasn’t trying to make a good impression, he’d have strangled Will already. 

 

Unless Will was hurt, which.Oh fuck, what if he was hurt?But no, they would have taken him to the hospital if that was the case.Will was fine.Spencer was going to kill him.He shifted uncomfortably. 

 

“Um.” 

 

“There was a fight at the park this afternoon,” the officer -Farid, his badge stated- said.He had his hand curled around Will’s upper arm and he jostled him a little as he spoke.Will scowled a bit.“Are you the guardian of this boy?” 

 

Spencer nodded and immediately opened the door wider, stepping aside to let them in.“Yes,” he said.“I’m William’s brother.” 

 

“Don’t call me William…” Will grumbled under his breath. 

 

“You might wanna show a little more respect, young man,” Officer Farid scolded, shaking Will gently.Spencer wanted to growl at the guy to let Will go, but he also wanted to shake Will himself until he knocked some sense into him.There were a lot of conflicting emotions. 

 

“I can take care of it,” Spencer said.“Thank you for dropping him off.” 

 

“You might wanna keep him out of trouble.Once he’s of age, this won’t be taken so lightly.” 

 

Spencer bit his lip and nodded.“Yes, sir, of course.It won’t happen again.”Officer Farid nodded and handed Will over.He leveled them both with a look before stepping out the door and closing it firmly behind him.As soon as the bolt clicked, Spencer smacked Will on the arm. 

 

“What the _fuck_?” he asked.

 

“Ow! Hey!” 

 

“You got in a _fight_?” 

 

“It’s not a big deal!” 

 

“A cop drove you home!What do you mean it’s not a big deal!?” Spencer yelled, only stopping when there was another knock on the door.Spencer sniffed the air and frowned, storming over to answer it. 

 

“Stay,” he said to Will, who huffed and crossed his arms.He wrenched the door open to find Brendon on the other side, just as he’d expected.“And where have you been?”

 

“Huh? Nowhere!” Brendon said, immediately defensive.Even if he’d tried playing innocent, the erratic heart beat and nervous sweat would have given him away.Spencer pulled him into the apartment, shutting the door firmly behind them, and then took Brendon’s jaw in his hand.Brendon glared, but didn’t try fighting him.He winced when Spencer pushed his thumb into a bruise on his cheek. 

 

“Uh huh.Right. So let’s see, guys.Today we got in a fist fight and ran from the cops.Any other misdemeanors I should know about?” 

 

Brendon grumbled a “no” and pulled his head free, and Will muttered something about how “they fucking asked for it….”Spencer sighed and pressed his hands over his face. 

 

“Okay,” he said.“Go clean up.Both of you.I can’t fucking believe this.” 

 

Will stomped off immediately, still muttering and growling under his breath.Spencer watched him storm into the bathroom and emerge a minute later with a washcloth before promptly disappearing into his room and slamming the door.Spencer took a deep breath and pulled from some unknown reservoir of patience, then he noticed Brendon hadn’t moved yet. 

 

Spencer looked down at Brendon, who was watching him with wide eyes, body pulled tight like a livewire.Spencer closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to relax minutely before holding an arm out to Brendon and pulling him in tight.“C’mere,” he murmured.“It’s alright, B.”The last time Brendon had gotten himself into trouble, Zack had still been there.It had taken Brendon nearly a year to actually trust Zack and stop flinching whenever he raised his voice.Of course he’d be nervous around Spencer.He didn’t know what to expect, and Spencer had just manhandled the hell out of him and yelled like a crazy person. 

 

Perfect.Fucking perfect.Hopefully Brendon talked this through with his therapist, because Spencer was probably just going to keep fucking it up.For the time being, Brendon calmed down a bit, and that was all Spencer could do.He let go of Brendon and nudged him off gently towards the hallway. 

 

“Go on,” he said.“I’ll fetch you when dinner’s ready.” 

 

Brendon nodded and slunk off silently.Spencer stayed where he was, waiting for the quiet ‘click’ of the bedroom door closing, before he hastened to the bathroom and locked that door behind himself.He was practically shaking from adrenalin, and he fumbled a bit but didn’t think twice before spilling two pills into his palm and downing them. 

 

He put the bottle back and met his own gaze in the mirror.“Oh God,” he murmured.“What the hell are you thinking?” He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw, making himself breathe slowly and deliberately as he leaned his weight on the counter.He ran his tongue over his teeth, all perfectly human and in place.He wasn’t shifting at all, which was good. 

 

“See?You’re fine,” he whispered to himself.“That’s the last time, though.Never again.”He looked back up at himself and nodded definitively. 

 

The couch creaked when he threw himself back down on it, slumping down lazily and tugging his phone out to text Zack: **Srry bout that.False alarm.** He turned the phone off and turned the TV up, letting himself space out while it played lulling background noise.He’d start dinner in a few minutes.He just needed to wind down first. 

 

 

…

 

 

Work had been fine, if not mind-numbingly boring, but Jon had resigned himself to such conditions years ago.He’d come to realize that anyone who said they enjoyed work had to be lying, because as much as Jon genuinely liked his job, he could hardly find it in him to get up for his shifts in the morning. 

 

Nobody, food industry or otherwise, actually liked their job.Back when Jon had been young and full of hope in high school, he’d briefly considered going to college.Then he realized that going to college meant spending an intense amount of money and effort to be bored at a job that may or may not pay slightly more than the barista position he already had, which is when he brushed that idea off, packed his bags, and moved himself to Colorado. 

 

Even in exotic and new places like Colorado, though, work was boring.Jon rubbed at his eyes and stuffed his visor into the back pocket of his work pants.His hair felt greasy, and his feet felt achey.He’d taken a double shot with him on his way out the door, and while it wasn’t doing anything to speed up his thought processes, it was making his hands all jittery. 

 

At least he was finally, blissfully, home.

 

Spencer had said he’d be making chili tonight, which Jon was incredibly excited for.Spencer was off from work and classes that day, which could lead to an amazing mood.Maybe they’d all have a good night.Jon was looking forward to it. 

 

He had enough control over his motor skills to put his key in the lock and turn.He shuffled inside, kicking his shoes against the wall and discarding his coat on a hook by the door.He hung up his keys and stretched his arms over his head, hearing his vertebrae pop in turn.He turned around and surveyed the apartment, and there was Spencer, lounging on the couch, still as a corpse.

 

“Hey Spin,” Jon said.Spencer didn’t move a muscle, and his half lidded eyes didn’t move from the TV.He did make some sort of quiet humming noise.Jon shrugged and ventured deeper into the apartment. 

 

The kitchen was vacant of any sort of movement, which was slightly annoying.So Spencer hadn’t started dinner yet, then.That was fine.It was still early enough not to bring it up.He tossed his visor onto the counter and grabbed a beer from the fridge, then made his way along. 

 

The boys were home, but they weren’t moving around or making very much noise.Jon went and knocked on their door, not waiting permission before pushing it open and slipping inside.“Hey,” he said, and then, “Holy shit.What happened to you?”

 

“Will picked another fight against heteronormativity,” Brendon answered.He was lying on his bed with his head hanging off the edge of it, turning his face red and accentuating a deep purple mark on his cheek.Will was spinning around in a desk chair, freshly showered but still wearing a blood decorated t-shirt.Jon nudged Brendon’s legs out of the way and settled down Indian style on his bed.

 

“One, I was fighting homophobia.A particular homophobe to be exact,” Will said, holding a finger up to make his point, continuing to spin the entire time.“And two, I didn’t pick the fight.The fight picked me.” 

 

“The fight punched me in the face,” Brendon said.“And got you arrested.”

 

“It only counts if they take you to jail,” Will argued. 

 

“No way.If you’re in the car, you’re arrested.”

 

“They didn’t even use handcuffs!” 

 

“Whoa.”Jon felt compelled to interrupt considering he was occupying a room with potential criminals and had no idea what they were talking about.If someone had gotten arrested, or whatever, Jon was surprised Spencer hadn’t told him the minute he walked through the door. 

 

Spencer was acting strange though…. He’d figure that out later. 

 

“Who got arrested?” Jon asked, facing the problem at hand. 

 

“Will,” Brendon answered.Said boy rolled his eyes.

 

“Some asshole started shit today at the park, and I finished it.A few cops showed up and broke it up, and one of them drove me home.No big deal.” 

 

Jon took a big breath and then an even bigger swig of his beer before nodding slowly.“Alright,” he said.“So that was dumb.” 

 

“Dumb but necessary,” Will said vehemently. 

 

“It was a mess,” Brendon added.“I’m glad Sarah got home okay.She’s gonna be pissed at you though.She stormed off almost as soon as it started.” 

 

“Good.Didn’t need her getting hurt anyways.” 

 

“Sarah fights like the devil.She would have been fine.” 

 

“You can’t just go getting in fights with people,” Jon said, trying to reign the conversation back in.“That’s really dangerous, Will.” 

 

“I can handle myself.”He kicked off the desk and spun himself around again. 

 

“Probably.Against one guy, sure, but we both know what can happen when you’re outnumbered,” Jon pointed out.Will scowled.“And what if the cops get involved.Or you get carried away and hurt somebody.” 

 

“Spencer hurt somebody.Nobody made a big deal about that,” Will argued. 

 

“ _Spencer_ made a big deal about that,” Brendon pointed out, shaking his head sadly.“I still don’t think he’s forgiven himself.” 

 

“If dickwads want to start something, then they have to accept the consequences,” Will decided.Jon pressed his cold can against his forehead. 

 

“No more fighting,” he said sternly.“Or you’ll have to fight me.” 

 

Will’s face broke into a playful grin.“I can take you,” he said. 

 

Jon couldn’t help but smile.“In your dreams, puppy.” He stood up from the bed and pointed a finger at Will.“No more fighting or I’ll make you fight Spencer.”

 

Brendon laughed, drumming his feet against the bed and cheering, “Ooooh!He got you there!”Will stuck his tongue out at Jon, meaning that he’d surrendered for the time being.Pleased with himself, Jon grinned and headed back out into the living room. 

 

Spencer hadn’t moved since Jon last saw him, which was weird.He went over and took a closer look, but Spencer’s eyes didn’t drift away from the TV screen.They were glazed over, not really paying attention to anything.Jon waved his hand in front of Spencer’s face, and it took Spencer a second too long to turn his eyes up to Jon. 

 

“Oh,” he said, monotone.“Hey.” 

 

Jon frowned and sat next to him on the couch.“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.Spencer hummed something affirmative, eyes returning to the TV.Jon pushed Spencer’s hair off his forehead and pressed his hand to the skin there, which was a bit clammy, but not feverish.He frowned. 

 

“You’re acting weird, man,” he said.Spencer just hummed again. 

 

“‘M fine.” 

 

“Did you take something?” he asked. 

 

“Just tired.” 

 

Jon sat back with a heavy sigh and pressed his beer can to his forehead again.He wasn’t nearly awake enough to deal with everything going on in the apartment that evening. 

 

“Not making dinner then?” he asked, which was maybe a rude thing to mention, but he was hungry, and Spencer had sounded so pumped about it earlier.Now, though, he simply hummed.Jon rolled his eyes and stood up. 

 

“Okay, fine.I’m ordering a pizza.” 

 

“Cool, thanks,” Spencer murmured, no inflection in his voice whatsoever.Jon stared at the back of his head for a long moment, trying to figure him out, before pulling out his phone and calling the pizza place.His stomach was growling.The mystery could wait. 

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

Work was, to put it gently, the most fiery of infernos from the deepest trenches of hell.Spencer had copy-edited eleven spreadsheets so far that day to double check for any sort of mathematical error.The computer, of course, could check for those errors on its own, but the higher ups didn’t think that was good enough.They needed human reassurance, or maybe they just needed busy work. 

 

Accompanying that, Spencer had been forced to send a plethora of foreclosure emails, which was his absolute least favorite thing to do on the job.The email was heartless, just a fill in the blank form saying, 

 

_Mr./Mrs. Whatever;_

 

_In the course of review of ______________, we have uncovered some serious issues regarding _____________, including ________________, likely causing significant harm…._

 

_…Your life is the pits, and we’re sorry to tell you you’re losing everything.Nothing we can do, motherfucker.Good luck._

 

_Sincerely,_

 

_A Heartless Company Pretending to Counsel You with Your Finances But Really Just Delivering the News of Impending Doom._

 

Spencer may or may not have taken a bit of liberty with that last bit, but it wasn’t like he actually sent that.He was a good little worker bee who filled in the correct blanks and sent out the correct emails and ruined the correct people’s lives, or at least told them that they’d ruined it themselves. 

 

The worst part was that he learned who to send the emails to based on a stack of manila folders left on his desk.Inside the folder was the email address, which he needed to contact the client, but there was also their personal information: their name, their family size, their job, their address.Spencer got to look into people’s lives before telling them they were losing everything.He’d think, ‘Oh yeah, Charleston Ave.Haley lived on that road.I know exactly which house is going to the bank.’ 

 

It was depressing. 

 

He tried not to look too closely anymore.Just flip open the file, tap out the email address, and then put it away before he could cause any harm to himself. 

 

Spencer could really have gone for a coffee right about then, but he hadn’t had time to grab one between class and work, and the coffee machine in the office was broken.He didn’t get a break, so the soonest he’d get coffee was two and a half hours from then. 

 

He felt a little frazzled, so maybe coffee wasn’t the best thing for him.What he really could have gone for was a pill, but he hadn’t thought to take one that morning.He needed to get his own, honestly. 

 

Maybe he should just go to the gym after work, but as jittery as Spencer felt, he also felt dead tired.His motivation was nil.He was kind of a disaster. 

 

To make everything worse, Dobbenhauer was lurking around the office, popping up from time to time to remind Spencer of his absolute failure as a human being (werewolf (whatever)). 

 

Spencer wondered if he would get fired if they found out he was a werewolf.Probably.There was a solid chance of it, at least.Attitudes towards werewolves were cautious at best, and the news liked to remind him that they were still entirely ostracized from society while still somehow being a very integrated part of it.If it got out that Spencer was a werewolf, not only would people threaten his job, they would threaten his life.They would threaten the pack and any other pack that lived in town.

 

It was weird how two years had given him the time to get numb to these ideas. 

 

‘Someone might try to kill you.’ 

 

‘Yeah, well.I’m not surprised.’

 

“Psst.”Spencer blinked his eyes a few times, shaking his thoughts off and looking at the cursor on his computer screen.He’d gotten halfway through telling Ms. Greta Wilson that the home she’d raised seven children in was at risk of being taken away.He sighed and carded his fingers through his hair, and then something bounced off the side of his head.“Psst!”

 

Spencer looked over at Elliot, whose cubicle sat next to Spencer’s across a narrow walkway.“Hey.Kid.”Elliot spun his chair around and kicked himself over, rolling casually into Spencer’s cubicle.“What’s your name?” he asked. 

 

Elliot knew his name already.They’d only been working next to each other for a year now.Spencer was also aware of the fact that pretending to forget someone’s name was a way of asserting dominance.If you make the other person feel like they aren’t important enough to remember, it just makes you seem more important in comparison. 

 

Spencer was getting kind of sick of all these power games.Even so, he would play for now.He sighed and answered slowly, trying to convey the stupidity of the situation.“...Spencer….” 

 

“Spencer!” Elliot cheered, voice still a hushed whisper to match the quiet office setting.“Spencer Smith.Listen, man.Word’s been floating around about a start-up.A break off company.Me and another guy, we wanna get out of here, and we have some ideas to set up our own system.We need people to follow us though.Need someone young who knows what’s what.We want you to join us.You in?” 

 

Spencer crossed his arms.“Wait… what?”

 

“Give me your personal email, and I’ll send you the details.Best not to discuss too much in earshot, y’know?” 

 

Nodding slowly, Spencer pulled a sticky note off a stack and scribbled his school email address down.It was the only one he used anymore, so it would have to do.Not like the company they worked for could look at Spencer’s school stuff, even if the firm was located on campus. 

 

“Sweet,” Elliot said, taking the note and slipping it into his pocket.“I’ll be in touch.This is big news, Smith.It’s gonna be great.”

 

“I’m sure.” 

 

“D-man’s comin’.Gotta roll.” 

 

Elliot rolled away to his own cubicle, and Spencer went back to staring at his computer screen.Elliot was weird, but he wasn’t the worst person to work for.He’d had Spencer’s respect ever since the coffee incident, and he was painfully smart.If anyone could do… whatever it was he was doing… Elliot would be the one to make it work.Working for him wouldn’t be so bad. 

 

Spencer would have to think about it.Right then, however, he didn’t want to think about much of anything.He just wanted to close his eyes and shut everything off for a while.Instead of doing that, he cracked his knuckles and got back to work.Poor Mrs. Wilson.Spencer felt the urge to say something nice, tell her he was sorry.He didn’t, though.He just filled in the blanks and pressed ‘send.’

 

 

...

 

 

Dinner was running late, as per usual, but in accordance to tradition they were all eating dinner together at the table.That was one thing Zack had always insisted upon, and they felt it best to keep it going.It was nice, in Jon’s opinion, to all get together to eat.For one, making huge meals that could be divvied up to fit werewolf appetites was much more cost effective than letting everyone fend for themselves.His McDonald’s order alone came to twenty dollars usually.More importantly, it helped them all keep tabs on each other.Between Spencer and himself both working, and Will and Brendon being busy with school and friends and whatever else shenanigans they got up to, if it weren’t for dinner together, they might never actually see each other.

 

Jon liked being around everyone so he could keep a close eye on them and make sure they were all doing alright.Asking them was never enough, because they’d lie.He needed tangible proof.

 

Will and Brendon both appeared fine.There was something going on with Will and a friend of his, but he wasn’t admitting to anything and never wanted to talk about it, so Jon didn’t know much of what was going on there, just that something was going on. 

 

Brendon was doing incredibly well, which was a huge relief.He’d been doing fine for months now, but the paranoia chewing at the back of Jon’s head hadn’t settled down entirely yet.There were still teasing thoughts whenever Brendon was in a bad mood or seemed down.The panic of ‘oh shit, he’s getting bad again, gotta fix it.’Leaving him home alone still made him nervous, even though Brendon had been cleared from the classification of “high risk” for months now. 

 

Jon may have had a few underlying issues that he needed to work out, but it was mainly just him worrying.His mom always said he worried too much.Jon would be fine. 

 

Spencer, on the other hand, he wasn’t so sure about.He was acting weird, kind of twitchy, incredibly tired, and unbearably stressed out.It must have been a huge amount of pressure being the Alpha- pressure that Jon couldn’t even begin to comprehend.He was a beta at best, but not even situated for that role.There was nothing shameful in being an omega, just like there was nothing shameful in paying extra close attention to Spencer because of a few side interests. 

 

Spencer and Jon lived together, so stupid crush or not, Jon would be keeping an eye on him. 

 

Unimportant.What was important was that Spencer was acting weird, but there was no good way to approach him about it.It wasn’t Jon’s place to suggest Spencer do something to relieve stress, even though their pack had never concerned themselves with staying “in their place” and being “proper.”Spencer taking on his new role was messing with Jon’s head in ways he couldn’t even begin to understand properly. 

 

Spencer could easily just be stressed out, just as easily as Jon could have been over thinking the entire situation.If Spencer really needed help, he would come to Jon about it.There was nothing to worry about.Jon was going to worry anyways, though, about his pack or other problems. 

 

Like anti-wolf violence in town.That was a big thing to worry about.

 

“Did you hear some guy got arrested yesterday?Walking around downtown flaunting a rifle out in the open, bragging about silver bullets he made himself,” Spencer said.He’d made the chili he’d planned a few days ago, and it was fucking delicious.Jon had to physically slow himself down eating so he wouldn’t make himself sick. 

 

“People suck,” he said.Will nodded. 

 

“I don’t get it.Why don’t they just attack us on the full moon?” Brendon asked.Jon frowned, and Spencer raised an eyebrow.Will let out some kind of laugh-snort.“What?They know we’ll be out then.”

 

“Yeah, but they also know that’s when we’re at our strongest.And travelling in packs.They don’t want to take that kind of a risk,” Jon explained, as if they were some kind of feral animal that was actually being hunted.As if the situation didn’t make him sick to his stomach.

 

“I’m just saying it’d make more sense.Y’know they hold secret meetings about it in the Elk lodge?” Brendon added.

 

“Not so secret,” Will mumbled around a mouthful. Spencer frowned and handed him a napkin. 

 

Brendon argued, “Well it’s not like we’re invited,” and Spencer set his spoon down. 

 

“Good,” he said, sounding serious.“We’re keeping it that way, too.Low profile, remember?Anyone finds out about us and we’re dead.” 

 

“Literally,” Will said.Jon cracked a grin, but Spencer looked vexed. 

 

“William!”

 

“It’s true!” he defended.Jon couldn’t help it; he laughed.Spencer turned his frown on him. 

 

“Jon-” 

 

Brendon interrupted, reaching all the way across the table to grab a piece of bread.“I wonder who those guys were though,” he said.Jon wasn’t one hundred percent sure what he was talking about, and it seemed that neither was anyone else.Brendon apparently caught onto that. 

 

“From the woods?” he prompted.Jon set his fork down carefully, noticing the way Spencer went stiff next to him.Brendon’s eyebrows shot up.“What?Are we just not gonna talk about it?”

 

Spencer was the first to answer.“Nothing to talk about.Just some guys being assholes.”

 

“Because we’re puppies and they think they can get away with it,” Brendon pushed. 

 

“Mostly because Spencer’s a puppy, but yeah,” Jon said.Spencer scowled. 

 

“Plus they _did_ get away with it…. Not cool.Let’s kick their asses,” Will said, hitting his fist on the table. 

 

“Um,” Brendon said, rolling his eyes.“We _tried_ that, remember?” 

 

Jon ignored those two, turning to Spencer instead.“What’d Zack have to say about it?”Spencer froze again, making Jon frown.The other two turned their attention to Spencer as well.The tops of his cheeks flushed a dull red, and he suddenly became rather preoccupied with his food. 

 

“I haven’t, um, mentioned it actually,” he said slowly.“...I wasn’t going to.”

 

“What?” Jon asked.“Why?”

 

Brendon grimaced.“He’s gonna be mad when he finds out….”

 

Spencer scoffed and rolled his eyes.“I can handle this myself.And there’s nothing he can do from across the country anyways.”Jon dug his elbow into Spencer’s side. 

 

“Except for give you advice, which is, oh, I don’t know, his _job._ ” Will pointed out.

 

Spencer’s expression darkened.“ _Nobody_ is telling him,” he said, shooting a hard look at Jon, who raised his hands up innocently.As if he would go behind Spencer’s back and rat him out to Zack like that.He wouldn’t have done that when Zack was still their Alpha, and he wouldn’t now.Spencer settled a bit at the gesture and nodded. 

 

A knock on the door cut the rest of the conversation short.Everyone’s heads snapped up, and Brendon jumped quickly to his feet.“That’s Sarah!” he said, rushing to open it.“Remember, she’s spending the night, so everyone _please_ pretend to be human, okay?” 

 

Jon immediately let his ears shift over, just to mess with him, and Will pulled his lips back and growled.Brendon huffed and crossed his arms, and the two knocked it off, laughing when Spencer smacked the both of them. 

 

“Be nice,” Spencer said. 

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Jon replied.Spencer smacked him again.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been edited more than anything else in this book s2g

_“Have you given any more thought to your family situation?”_

 

_“Heh… it’s not a situation.I haven’t seen them in years.”_

 

_“Do you plan on seeing them again?”_

 

_“They don’t want me.So no.Why bother?”_

 

_“You can’t assume-”_

 

_“They told me to my face that they didn’t want anything to do with me.I’m not assuming anything.”_

 

_“You know what happened wasn’t your fault.”_

 

_“Well I certainly didn’t help any.”_

 

_“You’re a child.”_

 

_“I should have known better…”_

 

_“You didn’t ask to be a werewolf.”_

 

_“Or gay, and yet here we are.I just… I still think I could have tried harder.I could have… I don’t know… been better for them?”_

 

_“You were abused, Brendon, and that is not your fault.You can’t ever convince yourself that that was your fault.”_

 

_“Other people have been through worse.”_

 

_“That doesn’t invalidate your own experiences.”_

 

_“This is dumb.I don’t want to talk about it.Can I go home?”_

 

 

…

 

 

If Ryan had stayed cooped up in his room any longer, he would have driven himself insane.He wasn’t on at the club that night, but it was the lesser of two evils.He didn’t want to go in at all.He was exhausted.He wanted a nap, but he’d been suffering from some serious insomnia lately. 

 

Maybe if he went to the club he’d find it in him to practice, and that might tire him out enough for him to sleep.Sleep would be nice.It’d been what… three days?Maybe an hour or two of sleep in three days.Ryan was a mess.

 

His motel room was a mess, too.He’d taken down the “Do Not Disturb” sign on his door, so at least his bedding would be cleaned.It was edging past gross towards radioactive. 

 

At least the Johns -oh, excuse me. _Clients_.Dahvie had delusions of respectfulness- had been nice that morning.Dahvie had brought two by, one at a time, and Ryan had greeted them both at the door barely dressed and smirking in a way that he knew they all liked. 

 

The second guy had been very nice, too, hesitating at the door and saying, “Whoa, man.Are you sure this kid is legal?” 

 

Dahvie shot Ryan one of those dangerous looks, and Ryan put the man at ease instantly, reassuring him that he was working his way through college, and “Would you like to see my ID?I have a baby face.This happens all the time.” 

 

Worries subdued, the guy let Ryan lead him into the room, and Dahvie disappeared to leave them alone.It hadn’t been a bad morning.If Ryan hadn’t been running on 2% battery life, it might have even been a good morning. 

 

As it was, Ryan’s feet were dragging as he forced himself down the road and towards the bus stop.It was even warm out that afternoon, warm enough for him to be comfortable in his hoodie instead of freezing.The cold might have energized him a bit, but it wasn’t his place to complain when something was finally going _right_. 

 

He even considered walking to the club to save on bus money, but he was so tired that he just might pass out on the side of the road on his way there.Bus it was then.He was only slightly surprised to find Brendon at the bus stop again. 

 

“Is this a thing now, then?” he asked, walking up and sitting on the bench next to Brendon, who grinned at him guiltlessly and bounced his knee up and down. 

 

“Believe it or not, I’m actually going somewhere today.”

 

“Wow.Taking a break from stalking me.I’m hurt.” 

 

“Two birds with one stone,” Brendon answered, grinning wider and bouncing more.Ryan’s hand reached out and pressed down on Brendon’s knee, instantly stilling him.He was surprised at himself, because he totally hadn’t meant to do that. Ryan pulled his hand back and folded both of them in his lap. 

 

“You move too much.Chill,” he said. 

 

“Sorry.” 

 

Ryan considered asking him where he was going, then he wondered why he even cared and kept his mouth shut.Brendon probably wasn’t even going anywhere.He was just lying so he could stalk Ryan, which didn’t make any sense actually, because why would he give a shit about Ryan anyways.Ryan wasn’t important enough to have a stalker.Only celebrities and stuff had stalkers. 

 

The bus pulled up before too long, and Brendon and Ryan both climbed onto it and fed their money into the little machine.“You’re paying two bucks to hang out with me, huh?” Ryan said, settling into the front row.“Is it worth it?”

 

Brendon threw himself into the seat next to Ryan because he apparently had no concept of personal space.He fluttered his eyelashes like some sort of weirdo and said, “Of course it is, baby-cakes.” 

 

Ryan didn’t hold back the grin that tried to overtake the bottom half of his face.He should have.Judging by the way Brendon was suddenly beaming, he’d only encouraged him.He laughed, too loud in the small space.“I’m paying to hang out with you!I’m like a friendship hooker.” 

 

Ryan let himself smirk, narrowing his eyes a bit the way he did with clients.“Technically I’m the hooker,” he said.Technically.Literally.Ha.“Since you’re the one paying.” 

 

Brendon laughed out loud again.

 

“Dude,” Brendon said, and then again, “Dude.You should come to the mall with me.I don’t wanna hang out by myself all day.” 

 

“The mall,” Ryan said dryly, arching an eyebrow and crossing his arms.That was such a normal kid thing to do- go hang out at the mall.God, Brendon was like some kind of high school stereotype from one of those movies.Ryan wasn’t even in high school anymore.Just talking to Brendon made him feel like he was acting out some strange role, like it wasn’t actually him having these conversations.

 

“Yeah, c’mon.It’ll be fun.You look like you need to relax,” Brendon said.It was the pot calling the kettle black, honestly, with the way Brendon was practically vibrating in his seat.If anyone needed to relax it was _him_. 

 

On the other hand, this would be a good excuse to get out of his motel room _and_ stay away from Dahvie for another night.Not that there was anything wrong with Dahvie.He was a great guy, and he’d always treated Ryan fairly, for the most part.It’s just that being around him lately set Ryan totally on edge, the way he’d grown to feel around his father.Because everything could seem totally fine before exploding.He was walking on eggshells even if he didn’t need to, because he never knew when they were going to snap. 

 

Brendon didn’t seem the type to snap, and maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to pretend to be normal for a day.The bus stop for Dahvie’s was approaching, and Ryan didn’t pull the rope to stop the bus. 

 

“Okay,” he said.It made Brendon smile again. 

 

 

 

…

 

 

Spencer clicked “submit” and anxiously gnawed on his thumb nail as he waited for his grade to load.He needs a 9.5 to keep his A, which is balancing precariously at 91%.One more blunder, and it would fall to a B, and then Spencer would have to kick his own ass.He was _smart_ , damn it.There wasn’t any reason he shouldn’t graduate with honors. 

 

His accelerated program demanded high grades, and the faster Spencer could get his classes finished, the faster he could graduate.Then he’d have a degree, less stress, and a hell of a lot more time.He couldn’t wait. 

 

10/10.Thank God. 

 

Jon was lounging on the couch next to him, Dylan snoozing on his stomach.He’d occasionally laugh at the show on TV, and he’d poke at Spencer from time to time, just to be irritating or something.Spencer wasn’t sure what he was up to, but he put up with it patiently.

 

It was just past five when the apartment door opened and Brendon came in, waving at them and kicking his shoes off as he wandered over to the couch and flopped down next to Spencer.He bumped his forehead against Spencer’s shoulder and pulled his feet up on the couch, curling up comfortably.Spencer bumped him back and then froze.

 

Something familiar -achingly familiar- caught his attention.His blood just about froze in his veins because he recognized that scent. 

 

He couldn’t place it exactly though.He leaned closer to Brendon and sniffed.No, not…. He pressed closer, practically burying his nose in Brendon’s hair.After a minute, Brendon started giggling. 

 

He said, “Not that I don’t like the attention, but….” 

 

Spencer scowled and dug his fingers into Brendon’s side, making him jump and squeak.“Shut up.” 

 

Brendon shoved him back.“You shut up,” he said. 

 

“Both of you shut up.You’ll wake Dylan,” Jon complained.Spencer rolled his eyes but listened.Whatever he’d thought he smelled, it didn’t matter.It was just… He could have sworn he knew that scent.Knew who it belonged to.But no, that was impossible, and it didn’t matter.Spender was imagining things.He pushed the thoughts away and chose to ignore them.

 

Brendon was all fidgety now, which was Spencer’s fault.Spencer wrapped his arm around Brendon’s neck in a headlock and tugged him down, trapped against his side so he’d have to hold still.Brendon protested weakly by growling, but settled.Jon leaned his head on Spencer’s shoulder, and Spencer made himself breathe deep and calm down. 

 

 

…

 

 

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” Longineu said.He’d been complaining the entire time, making it very clear that none of this was his idea and that Will was forcing him against his will, but he was still driving the car. 

 

“Don’t be a pansy,” Will responded, kicking his feet up on the dashboard and lounging back.Longineu scowled.

 

“Yeah.Keep making fun of me.See if I don’t kick you out of my car.” 

 

“You wouldn’t kick me out.You like me too much,” Will told him.Longineu pressed his lips into a tight line and hummed noncommittally.“Besides, this is for a good cause and you know it.” 

 

“This is for a cause that’ll make your brothers murder you.I’m only going along so we can have some quality time before you die.” 

 

“My hero.” Will reached over and squeezed Longineu’s knee, making him yelp and jerk the wheel to the left.Thank God the roads were empty.He still reached over and smacked Will none too gently after righting the car. 

 

“You trying to _literally kill us?_ ” he hissed. 

 

“We go together or we don’t go down at all.” 

 

Longineu sighed as loudly as he could, making a point or something, but he kept driving.“I hope you know how to get there, ‘cause I’m outta data, and if I go over again, Dad’ll skin me.” 

 

“Your dad’ll skin you anyways when he finds out you’re skipping school,” Will answered, earning himself another smack.He laughed. 

 

“My dad ain’t finding out, or I’m taking you down with me, mother fucker.” 

 

“Love you, too, princess.” 

 

“Fuck you.” 

 

“We’re not gonna get caught, man.It’ll be fine.I skip all of the time.” 

 

Longineu sighed again, this one much more genuine.He kept driving dutifully, fiddling from time to time with the radio knob.He turned when Will told him to, and before long they were pulling into a parking space outside of the public library. 

 

“Tell me again why we couldn’t have just gone to the library in Bardford?Why’d we have to drive almost an hour for this?” Longineu was cranky, which was understandable.He was nervous about ditching school, and he’d bombed a surprise history quiz that morning, and Will hadn’t exactly warned him that this trip was happening.Will offering to pay for gas helped a bit, but not much.Offering to drive hadn’t helped _at all_ (“ _I am_ not _letting you touch my baby_ ”). 

 

“Spencer takes his academics very seriously,” Will answered. The chances of Spencer being at the library, which the college campus shared with the rest of the town, were too great.The chances of Spencer being friends with the librarian were even greater, and Will wasn’t taking any risks here.“Trust me, this is necessary.”The library in their own town belonged to the high school, and it would definitely be harder to accomplish this with school administration watching him.They had no choice but to head off over the mountains, and it wasn’t _that_ far of a drive.Longineu was just being a baby.

 

The library was nice, made entirely of red brick with a dozen concrete steps leading up to the front doors.Will headed inside with Longineu trailing dubiously behind him.He paused a moment, immediately faced with a stairwell, before deciding basement for “ADULT SECTION” and heading down the stairs. 

 

“Adult. Heh,” Longineu mumbled, chuckling to himself. 

 

“We’re here for delinquency, not for sex,” Will reminded.

 

“Right, right.Sex comes after.” 

 

“That the payment for making you drive me here?” Will asked.He looked around rows and rows of shelves, then turned left and marched down an aisle in what he hoped was the right direction. 

 

“Mhmmm.”Longineu followed him lazily, not bothering to keep up very well.“You’re also buying me dinner.” 

 

“You’re such a brat.You’re the one with the job.” 

 

“You should get a job.Not my fault you’re a bum.” 

 

Will hummed quietly and crouched down to look over a selection of SAT prep books.They should be in the same section, he figured, crawling down the aisle and listening to Longineu snicker at him.Whatever.The library was practically empty.There wasn’t anyone there to see him looking like an idiot. 

 

“Bingo,” he said, sitting cross legged in front of the shelves and pulling a GED book into his lap.He flicked through it, noting faint pencil marks and notes from previous renters, and grinned to himself.“This is perfect.Go check if anyone’s around, dude.” 

 

“What?Why?” 

 

“Just go.And I need your backpack.” 

 

Longineu shrugged and tossed his backpack on the floor near Will.He went to the end of the aisle and looked around, shooting Will a thumbs up when the coast was clear.Will dug his fingernails under the peeling cardboard on the spine of the book and yanked, tearing the thing off and leaving just enough paper to hold the book together.He did the same to the front cover, making sure all the sensors were crumpled up on the floor.He then carefully slid the book into Longineu’s backpack and wandered back over to his friend. 

 

“All good.Let’s get out of here.”

 

“You’re stealing from the library.Unbelievable.” 

 

Will shrugged and shouldered Longineu’s bag.“I’m a hardened criminal.”He tossed the wasted paper and library sensor in a nearby trashcan as they walked up the stairs and out of the library. 

 

“Yeah, so you’ve mentioned before.You wild kid.” 

 

Just before they got to the car, Will spun around and stopped Longineu with a hand in the middle of his chest.“Hey, man… thanks for helping.” 

 

Longineu’s face softened into a smile.“Yeah, yeah.Get in the car, loser.” 

 

“We’re going shopping.” 

 

“Oh my God.”

 

 

...

 

 

 

It was Spencer’s day off.He usually went to the gym on his days off (and on the days he didn’t have off, too, actually, just… not so much recently), but today he was trying something different.He’d been so tired lately. Tired like exhausted and tired like bored.It was kind of hard to explain, and he didn’t think spending a great amount of time thinking about it would do any sort of good, so he was just rolling with the punches. 

 

Spencer was, for the first time in a while, just lounging around the apartment in the morning.That meant two things: he got to drink a cup of coffee while actually sitting down, and not at, like, seven p.m., and he got to watch Brendon scramble around the apartment like a crazy person because he was late to school. 

 

The first was nice, but the second was incredibly entertaining. 

 

“Fuck!Have you seen my-” Brendon shouted, and then disappeared into a different room, throwing things and muttering.He tried putting his pants on while walking and fell flat on his face, which Spencer had laughed pretty hard at after making sure Brendon was okay.It wouldn’t have been nearly as funny if Brendon had broken his nose. 

 

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck-” Brendon was keeping up a steady chant as he tripped into his shoes and tugged a hoodie on backwards.“FUCK I forgot my-” 

 

Brendon disappeared into the bathroom and then immediately slammed back out, shoving something into his backpack as he went and nearly tripping over himself again.“Okay!Bye!I’ll see you guys later!” He hollered, and then he was gone. 

 

Jon made some sort of grunting noise.He was half-asleep on the couch next to Spencer, head lolling against Spencer’s shoulder.It was his day off as well, which was good.He obviously needed one. 

 

Their morning was pretty chill, just the two of them bumming around on the couch.Eventually Jon woke up enough to start commenting on the show playing on the TV, sighing dramatically and poking at Spencer until he switched from Food Network to WWE.He got up and got them both fresh cups of coffee, and Spencer promised to make them real food for lunch later.He had a list of chores to accomplish taped to the fridge, and he had all day to do them.Spencer wasn’t really sure why around 11 a.m. he started feeling like his throat was closing up on him. 

 

It wasn’t a real, physical feeling.Spencer could breathe just fine, which he reminded himself of multiple times.That didn’t stop him from feeling choked, and after Jon shot him like half a dozen looks, Spencer got up and snuck off to the bathroom. 

 

He knew what this feeling was, in a sense.It felt similar to the times when his wolf was getting too riled up, when he needed to either shift and chill out for a while or drag his ass to the gym and work it off.He hadn’t been to the gym in a week at least, not since before the full moon.No wonder he was feeling so stir crazy.

 

He also felt a little like he was going to rip Jon’s head off for no other reason than he felt irritated and Jon was the only one there to take it out on.It wasn’t Jon’s fault that he felt all feral, but his constant shifting and talking and just being too crowded into Spencer’s space was acting like a catalyst. 

 

The gym was an option, but Spencer had an easier one right at his fingertips.It wasn’t the best course of action, but desperate times call for desperate measures.He opened the medicine cabinet and went to grab the bottle, which… wasn’t there.He frowned and moved some of the contents around, but it wasn’t there.There was a bottle of aspirin and some antacids but no small orange bottle with the words “Brendon Urie” printed on the side. 

 

Brendon had been in a rush that morning.He must have taken them to school with him. 

 

Spencer gritted his teeth and firmly pushed the cabinet closed.He didn’t slam it, even though he wanted to.He didn’t want to explain why the bathroom mirror was shattered in the sink.He growled quietly, balling his hands into fists and stopping himself before slamming them into the wall.The room was too fragile; everything in there would break too easily.He growled again and slammed his fist into his own thigh, hissing quietly at what would quickly become a bruise and just as quickly heal itself.Some of the tension drained out of him, just enough so he didn’t explode, and he leaned back against the bathroom wall. 

 

His options suddenly limited, Spencer decided on a hot shower to calm him down.He locked the door, cringing at Jon clapping along to the Friend’s theme song in the next room, and turned the shower up as hot as he could.It would burn, but it wouldn’t hurt him.He needed it right now. 

 

He’d figure the medicine thing out, and it’d be fine.He just needed to wait for Brendon to get home from school.That was only a few hours, and he could cope for a few hours.The shower would help. 

 

The pills helped. 

 

He didn’t need help. He’d be fine.

 

By the time Spencer finished up and trudged back into the living room, Jon had bacon frying on the stove and a joint between his fingers. 

 

“You want?” he asked, lighting it on the gas flame of the stove and holding it out.Spencer took it without a second thought. 

 

“Fuck yeah.” 

 

They ate the entire pack of bacon, which wasn’t the “real lunch” Spencer had been going for, but it was good enough.Jon had a lot more than just the initial joint, too.He must have ran off to meet his hook up- a buddy of Jon’s who made regular trips to the closest recreational store and brought it back to town like some kind of 1800’s trading system or something.The guy was kind of shifty, but Spencer couldn’t find it in himself to care much when he was finally, blissfully relaxed and melting into the couch.They’d started off sitting next to each other but had fallen over at some point.Now Jon was using Spencer as his own personal mattress, but it was warm and awesome, so Spencer didn’t mind.

 

Time went by mysteriously fast, episode after episode of Law in Order fading into each other until Spencer wasn’t even sure who had died or how.Before he knew it, the front door was opening and Brendon was coming inside.

 

“Will told me to tell you he’s with Longineu tonight so he’ll probably be home late, but he wouldn’t tell me where they were going so I don’t-” Brendon’s steady stream of talking stuttered to a stop, and he paused before saying, “You guys are totally stoned.”

 

Spencer hummed out an affirmative, laughing when Jon nuzzled at his throat. 

 

“Got any left?” Brendon asked.

 

“You’re not twenty-one,” Jon answered, sneakily stuffing his bag in between the couch cushions in a way that Spencer felt but Brendon hopefully didn’t see. 

 

“Neither is Spencer!” he protested. 

 

“Spencer’s an adult,” Jon said, which made Spencer crack up again.Jon patted at his face, and Spencer tried to bite at his hand with only relative success. 

 

“Totally unfair,” Brendon complained.“Sarah might be coming over.Try not to wolf out while she’s here.” 

 

“We’re such bad influences,” Spencer complained to Jon, who may or may not have been listening.“We can’t be high in front of teenagers.”

 

“You’re high in front of me!” Brendon said.

 

“You don’t count.” 

 

“You’re a teenager,” Jon pointed out, poking at Spencer’s face.He needed to shave.His bear was getting a little out of hand. 

 

“I don’t count either.” 

 

“Unfair,” Brendon repeated.“You guys suck.”He walked past the couch and towards his bedroom. 

 

Jon called after him, “Love you, boo.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Brendon said.Spencer held back laughter.

 

 

…

 

 

Brendon was an idiot.A total dumb ass, a goof, a spazz.He didn’t deserve nice things.

 

“Go ahead, I’ll catch up,” he said to Will, who shrugged and headed out the door to school.Brendon couldn’t be late two days in a row, but he also couldn’t go to school like this.He dug around frantically in his bag, tipping it upside down and dumping his school stuff all over his bed.Nothing.He ran to the bathroom and triple checked the medicine cabinet.Empty. 

 

He went back to his room, tugging at his hair and trying to think.The last he could remember seeing his medication was during third hour, when he’d pulled his binder out of his backpack and nearly threw the bottle on the floor.He’d just about had a heart attack as he shoved it to the bottom of his bag and hoped no one noticed.It was bad enough he was the kid with “FAG” written on his locker (still.It’d probably be there forever).He didn’t need all his classmates knowing he was on crazy pills, too. 

 

“Okay,” he muttered to himself.“Think, Brendon, think.”He’d had them in third hour, but that didn’t help.That was nearly twenty-four hours ago.He could have lost them at school or lost them on the walk home or when he’d been goofing off with Sarah or somewhere in the apartment or….

 

They could be literally anywhere.Brendon checked his dresser, because somehow everything he lost ended up in his sock drawer.He dug around, throwing socks and boxer shorts all over the place, and while he found a Pez dispenser he’d been looking for a few weeks ago, he didn’t find his medicine, and sugar pills would not help him get through the day without losing his shit. 

 

Brendon checked his backpack again before throwing it across the room because it was empty and he was an idiot.He checked under the bed- nothing.There was literally nowhere else it could be.They were gone. 

 

“Yo, B.You okay?” Spencer poked his head into the room and looked around, raising an eyebrow at the mess.Brendon tugged at his hair again, because no.He couldn’t find his medicine and act like a normal person and figure this out and talk to Spencer all at the same time.He couldn’t.He’d fucked up. 

 

“I am so sorry,” he said, voice shaking.He was like 110% not okay.Spencer frowned and finished getting his tie in order.Spencer had to go to work.He didn’t have time to deal with Brendon’s bullshit.Fuck fuck fuck….

 

“Sorry?” he asked.“Sorry about what?”

 

“I lost them!” Brendon yelled, yanking his hair because it helped and starting to pace, because if he held still any longer he’d probably explode.“I have no idea where they went!I swore I had them but I took them to school yesterday and I must have left them there and I know they’re expensive and I am so, so sorry.”

 

Spencer didn’t do anything but stare at him for a moment, which did nothing to put Brendon’s nerves at ease.He was going to throw up, or, like, throw himself out the window, and he knew he was overreacting, but knowing that and stopping that were two entirely different things.He couldn’t calm down, and that only made him feel guilty because he should have been able to control himself but he _couldn’t_.

 

Eventually Spencer unfroze, stepping in and grabbing Brendon’s wrists, holding him still and pulling his hands away from his hair which _wasn’t helping._

 

“B, come on, it’s alright,” Spencer said.

 

“No it’s not!” Brendon didn’t mean to shout.He pulled his hands free and looked through his backpack again.“Zack told me that I had to be responsible and keep track of them and take them every day and, God, he’d be so disappointed.I can’t believe I lost them!I know how expensive they are.Don’t even tell me they aren’t.I Googled it.”

 

Brendon could barely keep up with how fast he was talking, and he was starting to feel light headed from a lack of oxygen.He couldn’t believe he was having a panic attack over this.He couldn’t believe he was this stupid.

 

“Fuck!” he yelled, because Spencer wasn’t saying anything, and threw his backpack across the room to Will’s side. 

 

“We can get you a new prescription,” Spencer said calmly.“I’ll call it in.”

 

“I shouldn’t have lost them I can’t believe that I-“

 

“You need to calm down.” Spencer was back in his space again, firm hands on Brendon’s shoulders, holding him still.Jon came into the room, looking around and frowning, half asleep and rocking his Starbucks uniform.

 

“What’s going on?” he asked.

 

Brendon couldn’t help himself. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m-“

 

“ **Brendon**!” Spencer’s hands tightened on his shoulders and shook him as he shouted, but shout maybe wasn’t the right word.Everything inside of Brendon just… stopped.He’d never heard Spencer’s voice do that before.How loud it was, it sounded barely human, and Brendon watched Jon’s knees practically buckle as he braced himself against the doorjamb.That was weird. 

 

Spencer’s eyes were wide, like he’d startled himself, but after closing them for a moment and letting out a long breath, Brendon heard his heartbeat slow back to normal.“Okay,” he said, voice steady.“We can get you a new one.Freaking out about it won’t do any good.”

 

Brendon kept his mouth shut and nodded.Jon finally started breathing again, and Brendon would have asked why he was acting so weird if there weren’t other things going on around him. 

 

“Do you think you can go to school without it?Or do you need to stay home?Jon and I both have to go to work, so you’d be on your own here,” Spencer explained, voice still calm and eyes watching Brendon carefully. 

 

“I…” Brendon’s voice failed, so he swallowed and tried again. “Can I stay home?”

 

Spencer nodded and let go of his shoulders, and Brendon hadn’t realized he’d still been holding on.He took a deep breath and steadied himself.“I expect updates.At least once an hour, got it?”

 

Brendon might have been an idiot, but he wasn’t a total moron.He frowned.“I can be alone for a few hours without killing myself, y’know,” he grumbled. 

 

He watched Spencer cringe, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.Great, now Brendon was irritating him.Best day ever.He sat down on his bed and kept his eyes down.

 

“I know,” Spencer said.“Just humor me, okay?”

 

Brendon nodded.“Fine.”

 

“We’ll see you later,” Spencer said, and then he and Jon left and Brendon listened to their voices as they left the apartment and then the building all together. 

 

“You’re an idiot,” he told himself, even though he wasn’t supposed to, and then forced himself up and started putting his room back together.Maybe he’d get lucky and find them.Probably not. 

 

 

 

…

 

The problem with this fight -if it could even be called that, considering Will wasn’t contributing much to the conversation- was that all the points Will could make to defend himself were things he was keeping secret.His reason for skipping school was perfectly valid, or at least he’d used the time away from school to further his education.It wasn’t like he was skipping just for the fun of it, or just to annoy Spencer, which was what the older wolf seemed to think at the moment. 

 

He couldn’t explain why he’d ditched, because that was a secret.

 

He couldn’t say where he’d gone, because then he’d have to explain both why and how he’d gotten there.

 

He couldn’t mention that he’d been with Longineu, because Spencer was in the kind of mood where he might call Longineu’s dad and let him in on this.Then again, if the school had called Spencer, they might have called the Parsons.God, Longineu was gonna be so pissed. 

 

When Spencer had let himself into Will and Brendon’s room, without even knocking, the first thing he’d said was “So you skipped school Monday?” 

 

Will had cringed and said, “Oh… you heard about that, huh?” That was apparently not the correct thing to say, judging by the way Spencer’s nostrils flared.But hey, Will was sitting there with textbooks open.He was making up all the homework he’d missed.There was really no reason to be mad. 

 

But Spencer kept going on and _on_ about responsibility and trust and “If I have to drive you to school every day I will!” which wasn’t much of a threat.It wasn’t like Will couldn’t just walk out of the school once Spencer drove away.He didn’t mention that though.He just sat back and took it. 

 

Brendon was sitting on his own bed, caught in the crossfire between Will and Spencer and glancing between both of them with wide eyes.He’d been playing with Dylan, but cats didn’t like yelling very much, and he’d quickly gotten out of there.Now Brendon was pretending to read, which couldn’t be going very well considering he wasn’t even looking at his book.

 

Will was keeping his gaze trained on his own book, trying to ignore Spencer’s lecturing until Spencer snapped, “Would you look at me when I’m talking to you!?” 

 

Will huffed out a breath and tossed the book down, glaring up at Spencer.“Geez, alright _mom_ ,” he said, making Spencer’s face going hilariously red.“You’re worse than Zack!”

 

“I’m texting Zack and telling him you called him a mom,” Brendon mumbled, pulling out his cellphone and probably doing just that.Spencer ignored him.

 

“Don’t even act like Zack would be okay with this!” 

 

“Well Zack’s not here so it doesn’t fucking matter!” Will yelled back, quickly going from entertained to pissed off. 

 

“You’re right!I’m here and I’m the alpha and you have to listen to me!” 

 

“Oh come off it!” Will rolled onto his feet and crossed his arms.Arguing while sitting down felt unnatural, and it would be an easier feat without Spencer towering over him.“You’re so full of it!You’re not even that much older than me!You have no idea what you’re doing!I don’t get why you get to be in charge!” 

 

“Because Zack put me in charge!”Will had tried to push all the buttons that would hurt, but Spencer wasn’t budging.Will grumbled half-said obscenities under his breath and turned his back on Spencer, stacking his books away and deciding to ignore him altogether, just to get on Spencer’s nerves. 

 

“The school said you have detention tomorrow,” Spencer said. 

 

Will turned around and rolled his eyes as obviously as he could, crossing his arms and making a face to piss Spencer off even more. “Ooooh, detention.Big fucking deal!” 

 

It worked.Spencer slammed his fist into the wall.The _BANG_ echoed through the apartment.It was sudden that Will startled, flinching back involuntarily against the outburst.Spencer looked pissed, but also kind of pleased with himself, and Will was not about to let him think he won this. 

 

“Y’know, your scare tactics don’t work on everyone!” Will shouted.“What’cha gonna do?Hit me?I’m not too pussy to handle it!Go ahead!” 

 

The silence that followed was too long, and the look on Spencer’s face had shifted from anger to something William didn’t recognize at first.It took him a minute to register what exactly he’d said, but by then Brendon was already chucking his book at Will’s head and muttering “Fuck you” as he stomped out the door. 

 

Will rubbed his forehead and glanced up at Spencer, anger deflated in both of them.“Look…” he said.“I’m sorry.” 

 

Spencer sighed like he was about to say something, but instead he shook his head and mumbled, “I’m going to start dinner.”Will nodded, and then Spencer left the room and that was that.

 

 

…

 

Brendon recognized the familiar figure from across the parking lot and ran over to meet him. “Ryan!” he said.“Hi!” 

 

Ryan didn’t say anything, just nodded and headed inside, apparently expecting Brendon followed after him.Brendon did.

 

“Why are we at a grocery store?” he asked. 

 

Ryan leveled him with one of those looks that said, ‘Brendon you’re an idiot,’ which yeah, Brendon knew that already.He said “I have to go grocery shopping…” voice monotone, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.Which it was, sure.What else did you do at the grocery store?He should have known to just keep his mouth shut.

 

“You buy your own food?” He asked, taking the basket Ryan shoved at him and swinging it as he followed him down the aisles.“Man, that’s adult.I wouldn’t even know where to start.” 

 

“Yeah,” Ryan said.“Well.”He gave Brendon another one of those looks, and for the sake of dignity, Brendon chose to ignore it.

 

Brendon trailed him around quietly, holding the basket out as he tossed in packets of ramen, a loaf of bread, cereal.Everything was off brand and carefully calculated.Ryan didn’t talk as he did this, and Brendon didn’t feel like disturbing the silence for once.What was he going to say anyways?He hadn’t called Ryan up with the intent of saying anything; he just hadn’t wanted to spend time alone. 

 

He’d called Sarah first, but she was busy doing something.Brendon wasn’t entirely sure.He could have gone and bothered Jon at work, but he didn’t think Jon would be as happy to see him as he pretended to be.Dr. Callahan told him he was supposed to work on not assuming things like that, but old habits were hard to break, and it wasn’t easy to discern his worries from the truth most of the time. 

 

The only other numbers he’d had besides Shane (ew) and Longineu (who was Will’s friend, not Brendon’s.That would be weird), was Mason, who he hadn’t talked to in months despite his older brother’s best attempts at staying in contact, and Ryan. 

 

It had half been an experiment to see if the number Ryan had given him was legit, and it had half been desperation.Ryan had handed the number over with the command, “Don’t call too much.”

 

_“Why?”_

 

_“It’s a landline.”_

 

_“Oh.Will your parents get mad?”_

 

_“Uh…. yeah.”_

 

But Ryan’s voice had been on the other end of the line, and he hadn’t sounded angry, so Brendon counted it as a win. 

 

“Oh shit,” Ryan said after dropping a bottle of fifty cent shampoo-and-conditioner on the floor.Brendon stooped down to pick it up and set it in the basket. 

 

“Getting the good stuff, I see,” he teased. 

 

Ryan rolled his eyes.“Sure.” 

 

“It’s amazing how good your hair looks when you use this shit,” Brendon said, following Ryan towards the pharmacy section.“Mine would be a frizzy mess.But yours is curly _and_ soft.It’s like some kind of a miracle.”

 

Ryan stopped for a minute, pausing silently and apparently thinking something over.Ryan took a lot of thinking pauses, Brendon had noticed from hanging out with him.It was unnerving at times, seeing as Brendon had this natural urge to fill any awkward silences with conversation, but Ryan tended to get even quieter when he did that, so Brendon was learning to stop. 

 

“Seriously though,” he said.He was learning to stop, but he wasn’t all the way there yet.“Your hair rocks.”

 

“Are you flirting with me?” Ryan asked, voice calm and question flying out of nowhere, practically smacking Brendon in the face.Brendon felt his cheeks and his ears heat up, thoughts of jeers and laughs and getting shoved into things filling his mind. 

 

“What? No!” he said quickly, warding off any sort of trouble that conversation could bring.He apparently had no sense of preservation for his life, though, because he immediately added, “Why?Do you want me to?” and then considered smacking himself in the face for real. 

 

Ryan stared at him, unblinking and daunting for a too long second before the corners of his mouth quirked up.“No,” he said.“You’re gay, huh?”

 

Brendon was ready for this conversation to be over.Brendon was ready to die.He was supposed to stop thinking those things, but it was really the only solution he could think of at the moment.He was supposed to stop denying his sexuality, too, or stop being ashamed of it at least, but he wasn’t sure that was ever going to happen. 

 

“No,” he said quickly, voice serious.“Let’s go check out.” 

 

Ryan shrugged and ambled over to the checkout line, relaxed as could be.Brendon followed him, feeling tense and horrible and wondering how so many social interactions had gone wrong in one day. 

 

_Common denominator_ , his useless brain supplied for him.He bit the inside of his cheek and tried to stop thinking those things.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day???? that's right, bae. I got u.

_“So Spencer got your new prescription taken care of?There wasn’t any trouble at the pharmacy?”_

 

_“No, it’s all good.Still can’t believe I lost it…”_

 

_“Accidents happen.There’s no need to obsess over them.Worrying doesn’t do any good.”_

 

_“That’s what Spencer said.”_

 

_“He’s a smart young man, then.So are you.How’s school going?”_

 

_“How do you think it’s going?”_

 

_“I asked first.”_

 

_“It sucks, but like… it sucks for the normal reasons.Nothing out of the ordinary.”_

 

_“No more bullying, still?”_

 

_“None that matters.”_

 

_“That’s good.I’m glad to hear that.What about that boy you told me about…?Shane.Have you spoken to him?”_

 

_“Heh.No.I’m never talking to that bastard again.”_

 

_“Language.”_

 

_“Sorry.But still.”_

 

 

_…_

 

The energy at the club was awesome.Ryan was eating it up, taking it all in and reflecting it back out, really throwing himself into the show that night.He’d slept in for the first time in forever that morning.Chris had offered him a cup of coffee when he’d come in, and he’d ended up drinking three before patrons started wandering in and he’d had to go get dressed (or, undressed, actually).Kat was there, too, and Sasha, and everything just felt pretty great. 

 

The club was playing ‘When I Grow Up’ by the Pussycat Dolls, and that may have been one of Ryan’s favorite songs when he was little.It was kind of annoying now, and more than a little ridiculous, but Ryan wasn’t being paid to enjoy the music.He was being paid to roll his hips at the audience and make them jizz themselves by winking at them.

 

He got up close and personal with one guy, making eyes at him until the man tucked a five spot into the waistband against Ryan’s hip.Ryan smirked and blew him a kiss, but a familiar whistle from across the club caught his attention.Nobody else seemed to notice.Ryan’s eyes snapped up. 

 

Werewolf, right.He could do things like that now.He searched the audience for Dahvie, and when he finally spotted the man, Dahvie was waving him over with two pedicured fingers.Ryan slipped off the stage and through the crowd without a second thought. 

 

“Georgie Boy,” Dahvie said, drawing him close and tucking and arm around him.He stroked Ryan’s collarbone with his thumb as he talked.He smelled like fancy cigars and hairspray.“I was just telling this nice gentleman that you do a very good job of taking care of people.You think you could show him something nice over in the Rose Room?”

 

Ryan glanced from Dahvie to their guest, an aging man probably in his fifties.His hair was turning silver, but he didn’t have the familiar middle aged pouch most older men had hanging off their stomachs.He looked fit, with a strong body and firm arms peeking out under a short sleeved dress shirt.His hair was combed neatly, and he looked clean.He smiled at Ryan, and his smile looked nice.He also looked interested. 

 

“Of course,” Ryan said, pasting on a smirk and reaching out to touch the man’s muscular arm.“Just this way, sir.” 

 

The guy liked the title.Ryan could tell by the way his grin turned to a smirk.He settled a hand on the small of Ryan’s back, which was sweaty from dancing under the stage lights, and followed Ryan the short distance to the Rose Room. 

 

The door was unlocked, but the room was empty.Inside there was a bed and a chair.Ryan regarded both and then turned back to the John. 

 

“How do you want me?” he asked.Always let them be in charge.If men were paying for sex, they weren’t interested in being bossed around by someone probably half their age.Ryan had learned that quickly. 

 

The man -John, for now- looked around, considering, before nodding to the chair.“This way,” he said, going over.He looked the chair over, running his hand over the fabric to check for cleanliness probably, before undoing his belt and tugging his slacks down his thighs.He settled down in the chair before pulling his dick free and stroking it.He pointed to the floor between his legs and snapped his fingers, and Ryan sunk to his knees immediately.The guy smiled. 

 

“Good boy,” he murmured, fingers tracing Ryan’s jaw and petting the soft skin behind his ear.His hand travelled into Ryan’s hair, and he got a good handful before tugging Ryan closer.“Suck,” he said.He was a man of few words.Ryan could respect that. 

 

He did as he was told, going to town the way he knew how, using what he’d learned from experience before and what Dahvie had insisted on teaching him.Fail proof as always, Ryan got John over the edge in minutes, before his jaw could even start to ache.He pulled back just in time, his only warning sign being the guy’s stuttered gasp, and he caught it all in his hand so he could clean it up easily.There was a strategically placed tissue box by the bed, and Ryan had a stipulation against swallowing, which Dahvie hadn’t bothered raising issue with.He pumped the guy through it, smirking up at him both innocent and dirty.The guy blinked his eyes open slowly and grinned. 

 

“Good job, kid,” he said, tucking himself away and getting up to right his pants. 

 

“Dahvie told you the price already?” Ryan asked, pushing himself to his feet as well.His knees weren’t even that sore.Winning.John didn’t answer the question, though.He just looked at Ryan and laughed, starting to walk away.

 

“Hey,” Ryan said.“Wait, no.Dude, it’s ten bucks.” 

 

“Fuck off, kid,” John said.Ryan scowled and went after him, grabbing for the guy’s arm before he could reach the door. 

 

‘Hey asshole!I sucked your dick, now pay up!” 

 

The guy shook his arm free way too easily, and then he turned and shoved Ryan back.He was stronger than Ryan, with those stupidly muscular arms, and Ryan landed hard on his ass.“You’re a whore and a faggot.I’m not giving you anything.” 

 

Ryan gaped at him as he left, and at the doorway for a few minutes after.That… that had never happened before.Not once.The guys Ryan dealt with were always at least somewhat grateful, some even to the point of apologizing or tipping him.He’d never had someone shove him aside like that.He’d never been _used_ like that.Ryan was furious.He wanted to get up and run after the guy, jump on him and beat the hell out of him.Maybe even bite him. 

 

He didn’t do that though.He just rose shakily to his feet and wiped his disgusting hand on the bedding as some sort of rebellious act- some way of expression how utterly pissed off he was.He felt kind of sick to his stomach, and he wasn’t sure how to explain this failure to Dahvie.He wouldn’t take it well, Ryan was sure of that.So instead of going out and getting back on stage, Ryan snuck through the crowd and into the backroom.He cracked open a window to get some air and ignored everyone else being jovial around him.Sasha was there, playing around and teasing some of the other guys.Ryan closed his eyes, breathed in the cold air, and tried to shut all of them out.

 

 

…

 

 

“You would not believe-” Spencer started, talking loudly and kicking his shoes against the wall as he let himself into the apartment.He hung his keys off and threw his jacket onto a nearby chair.“-what Dobbenhauer did today.I swear that man has a Goddamn stick a mile up his ass.It’s going to _kill me_.”He dropped his backpack by the chair and turned to frown at the silent apartment.Usually Jon hung out in the living room, or would at least carry on the conversation from wherever he was hiding.He wasn’t talking, but Spencer knew he was there. He shrugged and followed his scent deeper into the apartment.

 

“He made me reprint like a hundred pages,” Spencer complained, grabbing a bottled water out of the fridge before heading to his and Jon’s bedroom.“Just because I ‘stapled them wrong.’”He cleared his throat and did his best cranky old man impersonation.“‘The staple has to be horizontal, Mr. Smith, for easy page turning.Vertical looks unprofessional.You should really know better.’Like I’m _sorry_ I didn’t take my time stapling fifty sets of-”

 

Spencer pushed open the bedroom door, mid-sentence, and then stopped in his tracks.Jon was standing in the middle of the room.His expression was murderous.He was near Spencer’s dresser with the top drawer open, arms crossed, hip cocked, and most importantly- Brendon’s medicine held in his hand. 

 

Spencer didn’t say anything.What was there to say?He hadn’t planned for this.He’d never expected to be caught, and he hadn’t even thought about it very much when he’d taken the pills in the first place.He was high.No good decisions were ever made when high. 

 

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, unable to find words.His dropped water bottle was sloshing around obnoxiously loud.Jon’s expression only darkened.

 

“What’s this?” he asked.The edge in his voice was dangerous, pretending to be civil, like he wasn’t seconds away from trying to kill his alpha.

 

“Oh…” Spencer said, a second too late to pass for innocent the way he wanted.“You found Brendon’s medicine.Guess he didn’t lose it at school, huh?”There was a good chance Spencer’s heart was going to pound out of his chest and fall onto the floor.Jon would probably step on it and laugh.

 

He levelled Spencer with a look.“No,” he said dryly.“He lost it in your sock drawer.”

 

Having nowhere else to go -no script for this sort of conversation- Spencer’s brain grabbed onto the first thing it could.He snapped, “What were you doing in my sock drawer?” and crossed his arms across his chest.

 

Jon growled, honest to God pulled his lips back and snarled.He yelled, “Laundry!” 

 

Spencer threw his hands up and said, “Jon, what the fuck? That’s private!” 

 

“Obviously!” Jon roared back.“Wouldn’t want someone discovering _this_ would you!?” He waved the bottle around, making the pills rattle.Spencer watched his hands and growled, taking a step forward. 

 

“Give them back,” he growled. 

 

“They’re not yours,” Jon replied snippily. 

 

“Jon, give them back!” 

 

“No!” 

 

Spencer took another step forward, and Jon stepped away, back hitting the wall.Spencer lunged forward, and Jon scrambled sideways, hurtling himself over Spencer’s bed and throwing himself towards the door.Spencer dashed after him, effectively cutting him off, but Jon was a sneaky little bastard and retreated the other way before Spencer could grab him. 

 

“Jon!” he yelled. 

 

“Fuck you!” 

 

Jon tried to run past him, and Spencer sidestepped just in time to accidentally trip him and send them both crashing to the floor in a tangle of limbs.Jon was holding strong to the bottle of pills, somehow, and he fought like the devil to get Spencer off of him.Spencer tried grabbing the bottle out Jon’s hand, and Jon punched him in the face. 

 

He wasn’t expecting it, was the thing.Jon managed to throw him off balance and take off running.Spencer scrambled to his feet and caught up with him just as Jon was reaching the door to their bedroom.He grabbed onto him, spun him around, and slammed Jon back against the wall next to their door.Jon gasped, wind probably knocked out of him, but Spencer frankly couldn’t give a shit.He crowded him up against the wall and held him firmly in place, one hand still fisted in the shirt material just above his shoulder. 

 

“Give. Me. The. Pills,” he ground out. 

 

Jon glared like there was fire in his eyes and raised his chin defiantly, which was a new look for him.Jon was a lot of things -a smart ass, insubordinate, goofy, relentlessly annoying- but rebellious wasn’t one of them, not like this.He tightened his grip on the pills and lashed out, arms swinging wildly to shove Spencer away.

 

“Make me!” he spat.

 

Spencer grabbed the hands that were attacking him and pinned them effortlessly above Jon’s head, the power he had as an alpha allowing Spencer to control Jon like a small child.Jon growled, and Spencer growled back, trying to pry the pills out of his hand simply for the sake of stubbornness at this point.

 

In some sort of fit of desperation -or maybe for some other reason, Spencer couldn’t know- Jon surged forward with his canines bared, catching across Spencer’s throat and drawing blood.“Mother _fucker!_ ” Spencer shouted slamming Jon back against the wall and stumbling into him.Off balance, he pressed entirely against Jon, who hardened his glare on Spencer. 

 

That was until Spencer tipped his head forward and caught Jon’s mouth against his. 

 

He had no reason for what he was doing, and no means of excusing it.He just knew that there was something predatory and untamable unfurling under his skin and egging him on, saying _do it, kiss him, claim him, bruise him._ He’d started this without meaning to, moving against his proper judgment.He had every intention of pulling back, letting Jon go before this escalated any worse and letting Jon punch him in the face for being an asshole. 

 

But then Jon’s hands tugged free of Spencer’s grip, one falling to his side and probably still holding on to that damned bottle.The other slid up and curled around the back of Spencer’s neck, tangling with Spencer’s overgrown hair and pulling him in closer.The rational part of Spencer’s brain fell away, leaving just the sensations -warm skin, hot hands, pounding heartbeats, frantic adrenaline, soft mouths with biting teeth- and he let Jon pull him in close.One hand found its way to Jon’s hip, gripping hard enough to bruise, and the other gripped tighter at Jon’s shirt. 

 

Jon’s thumb brushed over a pulse point on Spencer’s throat, stinging from where Jon had bitten him, and that feral feeling was back full blast.He pulled back, just enough to get Jon’s tongue out of his mouth, scraping his teeth against Jon’s bottom lip and growling low and deep in his throat. 

 

Jon’s hips stuttered where they were pressed against Spencer’s thigh, a tremble running through him as he all but collapsed against Spencer with a whine that barely sounded human.A scent hit Spencer so hard that his vision flashed white for a second and he had to brace himself against the wall while his orgasm crashed into him.

 

That… was not supposed to happen that fast.Almost immediately, as soon as he was sure his legs would hold him, he pushed off the wall and stumbled back to put some space between them.The backs of his knees hit Jon’s mattress, and he went down easily.He settled his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands, trying to catch his breath and his runaway thoughts. 

 

Jon stayed put, save for sliding down the wall and onto the floor.The pill bottle, which he’d dropped at some point apparently, was sitting a few feet away.Jon reached out and grabbed it, pulled his knees up and looked over the bottle.His face was flushed bright and he was sweating.He wasn’t attempting to make eye contact. 

 

“So that was…” he started but didn’t seem to know how to finish. 

 

Spencer said, “Don’t.”Whatever that was, it wasn’t sane, and he didn’t want to talk about it. 

 

Jon nodded and blew out a long breath.“Yeah…. Look, Spence?”

 

“What?”

 

Jon looked troubled, like he was trying to decide something.He opened and closed his mouth a few times before shaking his head at himself.“Why do you have Brendon’s pills?”

 

There was no point in avoiding this conversation any longer.“I stole them when I was high.I wasn’t thinking.I don’t know.”

 

Jon pursed his lips and tipped the bottle from side to side.“That’s kind of shitty.He really beat himself up over losing them.” 

 

Spencer pressed his hands into his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Jon any longer.He sighed. “I know.”He did know, and he felt awful for it, but it wasn’t like he could have returned them when Brendon was freaking out.What was he supposed to do?Just whip them out and be like ‘haha look at this, B, I had them all along!It was just a joke!’Some joke.

 

“Have you been taking them?” Jon asked.

 

Spencer pressed his hands tighter into his eyes, trying to find some control over what was going on at the moment.“Yes,” he said. 

 

“Why?”

 

“Fuck, Jon.I don’t know,” he snapped, dropping his hands and glaring at Jon, then immediately feeling guilty for it.Jon just kept watching him, wide eyes sincere and focused in on him.Spencer pushed himself off the bed and slid onto the floor as well, folded legs inches from Jon’s.“They help when I’m stressed,” he confessed.“It’s not a big deal.” 

 

“It’s drugs, Spencer…” Jon’s voice sounded betrayed, and Spencer swallowed down a bitter growl.

 

“You do drugs,” he challenged.

 

“That’s different.That’s not… That’s for fun, Spence.I’ve been doing it for years, but it’s never been something I’ve been dependent on.This is… this is dangerous.”He kept staring at Spencer with those stupidly wide eyes, and Spencer purposefully took interest in the wall to his left. 

 

“It’s not a habit.I barely ever take them, okay?It’s not a thing.” 

 

“You’re sure?” Jon asked.Spencer nodded.Jon’s foot bumped against Spencer’s, pulling his eyes over.“You promise?”

 

Spencer stared back at him, and Jon looked so scared… so worried.Spencer shouldn’t have been doing this to him.He was supposed to be the alpha, the one who took care of everyone else, the one who was always in control. 

 

But he wasn’t; he couldn’t be.That’s why he needed the pills, so he could hold onto that.Jon wouldn’t get it, and Spencer couldn’t explain it.Instead he nodded, looking Jon in the eyes as he said, “I promise.It’s nothing.” 

 

Jon nodded to himself, looking the pill bottle over before slumping a bit and rolling it across the carpet to Spencer.Spencer picked it up and pocketed it.Somehow, in that moment, he didn’t need one right then.He felt pretty steady, all things considered.That was, until Jon looked up at him curiously and said, “You kissed me.”

 

Spencer felt hot and embarrassed.“You kissed me back!” he snapped. 

 

Jon smiled.“I thought you weren’t gay.” 

 

Spencer scowled, gut writhing at the thought.“I’m not.”

 

“You still kissed me.” 

 

Spencer wanted to wipe that stupidly smug look off of Jon’s face.“You came in your pants,” he shot back.Jon laughed, nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck and looking away.There was a blush rising high in his cheeks. 

 

“I kind of have a weakness for authority,” he said.Spencer narrowed his eyes, fighting back a laugh that was bubbling in his chest.First screaming, then kissing, now laughing.He was going insane. 

 

“You kinky piece of shit,” he said.Jon laughed, and Spencer couldn’t help but breaking down laughing, too, and just like that they were losing it, holding their sides and laughing until Jon had tears in his eyes and Spencer couldn’t breathe.After what felt like an eternity of laughter filling the air, they finally wheezed to a stop and caught their breath, leaving the apartment painfully quiet. 

 

“We should do that again sometime,” Jon said, eyes finding their way back to Spencer and back to their sincerity.But this… this was not something Spencer did.He didn’t make out with guys -with _men_ \- and especially not with his pack members.Especially not with Jon.He wasn’t gay, this wasn’t his thing, and this just wasn’t a good idea.He pushed himself off the floor and got to his feet. 

 

“I should shower,” he said.“And start dinner.Meatloaf good with you?”He shoved the bottle of pills deep into his sock drawer and pulled out clean underwear, a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

 

“Um,” Jon said.“Sure.I- yeah, okay.”If there was a touch of disappointment in his voice, Spencer chose to ignore it.He nodded a bit and didn’t spare Jon a second glance before excusing himself to the bathroom. 

 

 

…

 

 

Will skipped school under the excuse of having a doctor’s appointment.He ambled into the school office right after lunch, where he knew a substitute secretary was working that day.The real secretary had the flu or something.She never would have fallen for this shit, but when Will explained where he was going and why and “Oh crap, didn’t my brother call in the excuse?He’s gonna be awful upset if I miss this appointment…”The fill-in secretary let out a long sigh and waved him off, saying fine, fine, go ahead and go. 

 

Will went, alright, all the way to his local McDonald’s, where he settled down with his withdrawal paperwork and a job application and got to work.It was a few lines into the job application that he realized he was in trouble. 

 

He stared at the line that said “SSN” and frowned.He didn’t know his social security number.He’d been fifteen when he’d left home.What fifteen year old thought to memorize their social?He chewed on his pen and looked over some of the other questions.It asked for prior job experience, which he didn’t have, and a state ID, which he couldn’t use. 

 

‘Hi, yes.I’m William Key.What?Oh yes, this is a Florida ID.What?No, I’m not that kid that went missing two years ago.Not like we have the same appearance or name or address or anything.Totally not me.’ 

 

That would go over well.It also asked for a food handler’s license, and Will wondered what the hell that was. 

 

“Have you been arrested/convicted of any crimes?Please explain,” it stated.Well, fuck.Breaking and entering probably wouldn’t go over well. 

 

He pushed the application aside and turned his attention to the withdrawal paperwork.That was going much better.He’d been working on it whenever he got any privacy, and so far he had everything filled out that he himself could take care of.There was a footnote he was concerned about; it asked for some form of identification -a social security card or number or a birth certificate.Will had exactly none of that.His social was in some far off distant land, and his birth certificate was in a box under the stairs in his childhood home, all the way in Jacksonville. 

 

Maybe they could just forget about that part.

 

One section of the form asked for the signature of a GED test administrator, so Will would have to set up an appointment with one of those guys before he could really put this plan into action.There were a few lines for the principal as well, but besides that, the only thing he had to do was Zack’s signature. 

 

He’d been practicing off a photo of a check he’d borrowed from Spencer, something Zack had sent their way to help cover rent or groceries or something.It was nice of him to help them out like that, but it might have been guilt driven.It was hard to tell.Will was pretty sure Zack wasn’t an asshole, though. He hadn’t meant for all of this to happen. 

 

But it was convenient, and what Zack didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.He was all the way across the country.By the time he found out, it wouldn’t matter anymore, and hopefully Will would be old enough that they could just laugh about it. 

 

He signed Zack’s signature almost effortlessly, at ease with all the practice he’d done.He compared it to the picture on his phone and grinned.Nobody would be the wiser. 

 

After loitering for as long as he could, Will tucked his paperwork carefully into his backpack.He zipped that up and stood, crumpling up the job application and tossing that in the trash as he went.So McDonald’s wouldn’t work out.That was fine.He could find a low-paying job somewhere else, and hopefully one that asked less questions.The air was brisk and refreshing around him as he walked back towards the apartment, and he found himself walking slowly.A sign in the window of a small business caught his eye.It was a store he’d noticed before and had been into several times, but it wasn’t like he actually had the money to buy CDs.It was just nice to look around.Now the store was boasting a help wanted sign, and honestly, Will was a firm believer in divine intervention.He stopped to look at the sign, then squinted up at the October sky as if asking God, ‘you sure about this?’ 

 

The worst that could happen was it not working out, so Will shot God a grin and pushed the door open.An old fashioned bell clanged out his arrival.There was an old man behind the counter rocking a neck tattoo and a bomber jacket.Will walked up to the counter and tried to keep his back straight and look respectful. 

 

“Hi,” he said.“I hear you’re hiring?”

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time on wolf!verse: 
> 
> Things take a turn for the worst between Ryan and a John at Dahvie's club, and Ryan starts to see more of the dark side of this lifestyle. Jon finds out Spencer's secret, but their fighting quickly turns to something else. Will is up to his old antics, getting into more trouble even after a fight with Spencer and a confrontation with Brendon- who's been spending more and more time with Ryan Ross.

_“I have friends…”_

 

_“You have the pack, and…?”_

 

_“And Sarah, and somebody else, kind of.”_

 

_“That’s good.Support systems are important.”_

 

_“I don’t know if this one’s a support system.I think maybe he needs my support more than anything.”_

 

_“Why’s that?”_

 

_“We haven’t really talked about it yet, but… I can just see it, y’know?He’s sad.Just deep down sad all over.He needs help fixing that.”_

 

_“You have to be careful here, Brendon.Fixing people is a dangerous business to get into.”_

 

_“My friends helped me.And you helped me.Maybe it’s my turn to fix somebody.”_

 

_“You can’t save somebody.If they don’t want to work to save themselves, then there’s not much you can do.”_

 

_“Well, whatever.I’ll still do something.”_

 

 

…

 

 

Greta kind of freaked out when she saw the black eye and the gash on Ryan’s head, which was strange to Ryan at first, because he didn’t know why she would care.Once he reminded himself that sometimes people care about these things, he found the patience to sit still and let her prod at him.He dutifully pressed a bag of frozen hash browns to his face after letting her attach a band aid to the cut, even thought it’d be healed in half an hour, for sure.Maybe an hour, since he was tired.He hadn’t exactly timed this healing stuff, but he saw that bruises cleared up faster than they used to.It wasn’t an exact science, but it was something. 

 

He’d mumbled and shrugged his way through her repetitive question of “What happened to you?”She’d eventually given up on it and ordered them coffee, which Ryan couldn’t pay for, because he didn’t have any money left.

 

He’d had money that evening, from some extra work he’d picked up at a truck stop before some hicks came and chased him off with rocks, yelling slurs like “mutt” and “bitch,” chasing him away with howls.It had freaked Ryan the hell out, made him wonder if they’d actually known, if anyone besides Dahvie and Brendon knew the truth, but there was no way.Neither of them would tell.Brendon, because he wasn’t like that, and who would he tell anyways?Dahvie because this secret was the biggest thing he had over Ryan, and he needed to hold onto that. 

 

He’d had the extra money he’d earned, which he was allowed to keep.If Ryan got the clients without Dahvie’s help, the money was his, unless he made a lot of it. 

 

He hadn’t, though, and now he had nothing. 

 

It had been a good night at the club, but once the place had started shutting down, Ryan skipped out for the night.He hadn’t expected to see Markus in the parking lot.He hadn’t expected to be spitting blood onto the gravel, either, or to see Sasha grab onto Markus and pull him back, yelling at Ryan to “Get the fuck out of here!” while Markus yelled threats about Ryan stealing all their business, about Ryan being sorry.

 

Ryan had sprinted away, stumbling deep into the woods, and he’d stripped his clothes off before letting the shift take over and curling up tight in a ball, relying on his fur keep him warm.Markus’s yelling kept echoing through his head: “You’ll be sorry!” and “Not so pretty now, are ya?”Shifting back hurt like a bitch, with the injuries and all.It wasn’t the worst he’d had, though.He shifted back and put himself back together, but he didn’t feel like going back to his apartment and hanging out all by himself.He found himself at iHOP, and before he could convince himself that it was a bad idea, he was already inside and Greta was bursting out of the kitchen to scold him.

 

He held the coffee -the coffee he couldn’t pay for- in his hands and held it up to his face, letting it thaw him a bit.Greta asked, “Are you in some kind of trouble, Ryan?” and he laughed.He laughed, and then he had to put the cup down because he was laughing hard enough to spill it.Greta stared at him, waiting patiently as Ryan laughed like a crazy person.Eventually he calmed down again and pressed the bag of hash browns back to his face. 

 

“It’s complicated,” he said. 

 

“If you need help…”

 

He was tempted to laugh again, but he held back.There wasn’t any help for him at this point.He was being attacked for being a werewolf, which wasn’t even public information.He was being attacked for being a prostitute, which he hadn’t wanted to do anyways.He was being roughed up and bruised and used and beaten and spat at and there was nothing anyone could do about it, because trying to get out of this trouble would only dig him into a deeper hole. 

 

That was something Greta didn’t need to get dragged into. 

 

“I don’t need help,” Ryan said, setting the bag down.“I’ve got it all under control.”

 

Greta pursed her lips and took a sip of her coffee.“I’ll grab our food,” she said, getting up.

 

“Oh, you don’t… I can’t-”

 

“No price,” Greta interrupted.“Don’t worry about it, and don’t argue.” 

 

Ryan shut his mouth.He’d gotten pretty good at following orders lately.When Greta brought back two plates of food, overloaded with more that Ryan could afford to eat but definitely enough to fill him, Ryan practically inhaled it.Despite all the stress of the night -it was almost five a.m.Not even night anymore- he was starving. 

 

“You should stay at my place tonight,” Greta said to him.“Somewhere safe.” 

 

“I don’t need….”

 

“It’d make me feel better,” she said, continuing when Ryan didn’t know where that sentence was going.He sighed heavily, closing his eyes and imagining staying somewhere that didn’t carry an unwashable scent of sex.Greta’s scent was really sweet, really nice.He wondered if her whole apartment smelled like that. 

 

“Okay…” he murmured, picking his head up.“Okay.Yeah.Thank you.” 

 

…

 

 

“You work Friday’s after school and weekends ten to four.Clock starts when you get here and ends when you leave, so if you want to be paid, be on time.The store is organized in a specific way which you _will_ catch on to.My organization scheme is not to be messed with, the guitars in the back are not to be played with, and the vending machine is not to be tampered with.You want a soda, take the quarters out of the vending machine, but that’s for you and only you.I find out you’re buying all your school pals pops with my quarters, and I’ll can you.

 

“There are to be no girlfriends of yours loitering in the store during work hours.Get in, get your shit, and leave.The sound system is to be touched only by myself unless I tell you otherwise.My music store, my music.I have some tax form for you to fill out so the government can spy on us, and you’ll be paid eight fifty an hour.Questions?”  


Will shook his head and clasped his hands behind his back, coming to a halt when Sarge did at the end of their trek around the store.Sarge was a strange man with a weathered face and a gruff voice.The kind of man you’d expect to find in a VFW bar telling stories about ‘Nam.He had a ‘take no shit’ attitude that Will admired but was also a bit scared of, but he’d been the only person in town willing to hire him without any sort of personal information, and that was what mattered. 

 

Plus it was a music store.How kick ass was that?

 

“Have a job before?” Sarge asked.Will shook his head again. 

 

“No.”

 

“No what?” Will blinked, mind going blank, because ‘no what?’What was he even asking?

 

“Um.”

 

“Sir. No sir.You will address me as such, or not at all.Back in my day boys used to have respect for their elders, and I think it ought to stay that way.”

 

“Yes sir,” he said immediately.Right, of course.His mother would have been disappointed in him.‘Were you raised in a barn?’ she would ask.‘No, ma.I was raised in Northern Florida.’He figured that living with the pack, where ‘respect’ was a vague concept that was joked about more than anything, was having a bad influence on him. 

 

Oh well. 

 

“How old are you, boy?” Sarge asked.Will followed him as he waddled back towards the cash register.He kind of reminded Will of a troll, with the way his forehead stuck out farther than the rest of his face, except for his nose, which was massive.He had a broad mouth and the bushiest eyebrows imaginable, which were the same silver color as his hair, which was combed into place but frizzing up a bit in rebellion. He looked pretty ordinary for an old person, except for the army green bomber jacket he was wearing, which looked like the exact one out of Rambo, flag patch and all. 

 

“Seventeen,” he answered.“Soon to be eighteen.” 

 

Sarge nodded and punched at the keyboard of his computer system a bit.“Good age for a boy to get a job.Save up for a car.Or a nice house for your sweetie.” 

 

“My what?”

 

“You know, your girl.”Sarge raised one scary caterpillar eyebrow at him, and Will bit back a grin.He couldn’t imagine Longineu’s reaction if Will called him his ‘sweetie,’ or offered for them to move in together. 

 

“Yes sir,” he said.“Maybe one day.” 

 

“Let’s get on that paperwork then, and then I’ll show ya how to use the cash register.”Will took the paper Sarge thrust at him and looked it over with nervous eyes.Up at the top, where it requested the ‘last four numbers of your SSN’ there was a box to check that said, ‘I don’t know my social security number,’ and Will let out a relieved breath. 

 

“Sure thing,” he said, and then set to work writing his name down. 

 

 

…

 

 

 

The wall rattled when Spencer slammed Jon up against it, and something else rattled in Spencer’s chest when he growled, pressing tighter against Jon.Jon took him willingly, wrapping his arms tight around Spencer’s neck and kissing him so hard it could be considered violent.

 

Not that Spencer seemed to mind.Sex with Spencer was always violent. 

 

Not that they were having sex. 

 

The most they’d done was accidentally get off on top of each other, with all of their clothes intact, mind you.In Jon’s experienced opinion, that didn’t count as sex.Sex was intentional, and there seemed to be a wall.Every time Jon had the intention of taking it further, Spencer shoved them apart, and Jon jerked off in the bathroom. 

 

It was all good and exciting, yes, but also incredibly frustrating.

 

For now, things felt pretty great and Jon let himself get lost in that, in hooking his fingers in Spencer’s belt loops and tugging him as close as physically possible.In struggling with Spencer for control over the kiss and letting him win.In the way Spencer grabbed his hips and held hard enough to bruise.And yes, there would be bruises later.Jon would be checking for them. 

 

He fucking loved it. 

 

He’d been paying close attention for almost two weeks now, and he’d found a pattern.It was a worrisome pattern, something that was very _not good_ , but he was doing the best he could to manage it.The pattern was that Spencer was in a mood, anxious or pissy or extra sad, and if it kept up too long, Jon would hear the faint rattling of a pill bottle, and then Spencer would be a lot more calm. 

 

If he caught it early enough, though.If they didn’t have to leave for work soon, or the boys were off doing whatever the hell it was they were doing lately, or something of that matter.If the circumstances were right, Jon could goad Spencer into a make out session, and he wouldn’t hear the rattling of pills afterwards.They’d only made out four times, but the pattern was too obvious to take for granted.

 

Jon thought he was pretty smart for figuring this out, and for finding a solution that both helped Spencer and let Jon kiss him, as he’d been wanting to for years now.It wasn’t a long term solution.He knew that, but until he found a way to fix Spencer more permanently, short term solutions were going to have to work.Little goals.Baby steps. 

 

Jon had another small goal- take whatever this thing was that they were doing and move it closer towards actually getting off with each other.He knew the hang up.Spencer wasn’t gay.He’d said so a million times, but Jon had some theories about that.Maybe trying to nudge Spencer in the right direction was a bit of a breach on ‘consent,’ but that’s why Spencer was in charge here.Jon would push, but ultimately Spencer was on top and Spencer was the alpha and when Spencer said stop, Jon stopped. 

 

Today, though.Today Jon really didn’t want to stop, so he just crossed his fingers and hoped Spencer didn’t tell him to. 

 

Spencer breaking away from the kiss and mouthing at Jon’s neck nearly made Jon’s eyes roll back in his head.Having an alpha, _his Alpha_ , that close to his neck scenting him had him just about ready to die from happiness.He pushed Spencer back gently, just enough to breathe, and whispered, “Let me blow you.” 

 

Spencer recoiled. Shit. Fuck. “What?” 

 

Jon still had his fingers curled into Spencer’s belt loops, so he didn’t go far, didn’t even try.“C’mon.Neither of us have gotten laid in forever,” Jon reasoned.“You can pretend I’m a girl.Whatever.I want to.” 

 

Spencer stared at him, blinking slowly, for a long moment.“I… I can’t reciprocate.I just-.”

 

“That’s fine,” Jon said.“I don’t want you to, it’s fine.”

 

Spencer studied him for another moment, and he had that look on his face that he got when he thought Brendon was lying about something, or when Will said, ‘No, yeah, Spence.Trust me, you don’t have to worry about it.’Jon waited and held his breath, listening to both of their pounding heart beats dancing with each other.The room was swirling with the scent of arousal, and if it was making Jon dizzy, then Spencer had to notice it, too.

 

He had to, because then he grinned, almost shyly, and nodded.“Yeah,” Spencer said.“Okay, um.”

 

Jon may not have been an alpha, but he wasn’t a runt either.He pushed Spencer back and then pressed him against the wall, switching places.He dropped to his knees and pressed his nose to the bulge in Spencer’s pants.

 

“W-what are you doing?” Spencer asked.Jon pulled back immediately and set to work unbuttoning Spencer’s jeans and tugging them down his thighs. 

 

“Nothing,” he said.He hesitated with his fingers curled into the waistband of Spencer’s boxers.“This okay?”

 

Spencer looked down at him.The blush rising up on his cheekbones was so bright it was glowing.He nodded.

 

“Out loud, please,” Jon said, nosing at Spencer’s thigh again because how could he _not_?“Consent is very important.”

 

Spencer laughed at that, chuckling quietly and putting a hand over his face to hide.“Yes,” he said, laughter still in his voice.“Yes, it’s okay.”Then Jon swallowed him down, and he moaned.

 

If Jon was surprised by Spencer being rough, he shouldn’t have been.It was his own damn fault anyways, taking Spencer’s hands where they were balled tight into fists on his sides and guiding them to his hair, looking up at him through his eyelashes as if saying ‘do it.’He let Spencer have that, pulling him in and doing what he wanted while Jon’s hands settled on Spencer’s hips, skin hot against his palms. 

 

When they were finished, Jon wiped his hand over his mouth and dropped his head against Spencer’s thigh.The hand in his hair changed from a tug to a caress, and when Jon glanced up at him, Spencer finally opened his eyes again. 

 

“You’re sure you don’t want…?” Spencer started to ask, trailing off, but his voice sounded more confident than it had earlier, which was another pattern Jon noticed.If giving Spencer control of something, even for just a little while, was what it took to get Spencer acting normal again, then it was well worth it. 

 

Jon said, “No, I’m good,” and sat back on his heels, yawning and stretching his jaw.

 

“I’m gonna start dinner,” Spencer said, righting his pants and brushing off imaginary dust.Jon nodded.It was typical of Spencer to bolt afterwards.Not frantically, no, because he seemed to find something centering from it.But as soon as they were done, Spencer was back on track with whatever they were supposed to be doing that day.Making dinner or doing laundry or going to work, and he never wanted to talk about it.

 

Jon got up and adjusted himself as he followed Spencer into the kitchen, dead set on actually having some sort of communication this time.He didn’t feel great about doing it without talking it through, because it wasn’t as casual as they would like to pretend it was. 

 

Jon joined Spencer in the kitchen, but the second he opened his mouth to speak, Brendon burst through the front door. 

 

“I’m home!” he yelled, even though they were right there.He paused for a moment and crinkled his nose up, glancing between Jon and Spencer, and then wiggling his eyebrows at Jon.Jon shot him a look, because Spencer wanted to keep it a secret, and seeing Brendon making faces would probably push him over the edge.Brendon just raised an eyebrow at Jon and said nothing. 

 

“Full moon tomorrow, Bren,” Spencer said from the stove, turning to look at them.Brendon’s face dropped blank in an instant, for which Jon was eternally grateful.“I want you straight home after school, okay?The sun’s been setting pretty early.”

 

Brendon nodded.“Yeah, sure.Might stay home.”

 

“You’ve already missed a day this semester…” Spencer warned.He stooped down to slide some sort of frozen dinner into the oven and close the fridge, then turned around and crossed his arms. 

 

“I have five sick days,” Brendon pointed out.“And it’s not like we get the flu very easily.” 

 

“If there’s a pattern of you being absent on the full moon it’ll look suspicious.”

 

“We already look suspicious.Zack said so.” 

 

Spencer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, and Jon wanted to slam his head against a wall.They’d just fixed it.Spencer had been all better and calm, and now he was getting tense again.He always got like this when it came to pack stuff.

 

“Where’s Will?” he finally asked, switching the subject. 

 

Brendon shrugged.“At work.” 

 

Jon frowned and leaned back against the sink, feeling water from the counter there soak through the back of his t-shirt.“Since when does he work?”

 

Brendon shrugged again and wandered away to throw himself down on the couch.“I dunno, like a week ago or something.” 

 

“Where?”

 

“I dunno.”

 

“God damn it,” Spencer mumbled, and Brendon growled. 

 

“It’s not like we’re _talking_ ,” he snapped. 

 

Spencer sighed again, quieter this time, and massaged his temples with his fingertips.“We’ll talk when he gets home,” he said.Brendon’s head peeked out from over the top of the couch.

 

“Hey Spence…?” he said.It was weird, Jon thought, that there were moments where Brendon looked or sounded just like that little kid they’d met two years ago, wide eyed and terrified the day he’d gotten bit.They were trying to avoid him looking like that lately, and Jon would be lying if he said he still didn’t worry about it.They all still worried about it.But nothing seemed particularly wrong at the moment.He just seemed cautious.Brendon was doing alright even after they’d all been worried he’d never been alright again.Now Jon had Spencer to worry about, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.He wouldn’t let it get as bad.

 

When Spencer looked at him and hummed, Brendon continued.“Don’t yell at him when he gets here?” Brendon asked.“I don’t want him to run away again….” 

 

That was it.Jon went into the living room and flopped onto the couch next to Brendon, damn near smothering him.Brendon grinned.“I won’t,” Spencer said.“Don’t worry, B.He’s not leaving.” 

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

“You ever think about moving out?” Will asked, stretched out on the loft bed in Longineu’s bedroom.He shared the room with his younger brother, who was away at football practice.His father was busy in the garage and hadn’t noticed they’d come in.They had the room all to themselves. 

 

Longineu was sitting against the wall, top of his head just barely brushing the ceiling.He had a book propped on one thigh and Will’s head on the other, and he was running his fingers through Will’s hair.He loved to comment on how smooth it was, _“un chaton,”_ and Will, werewolf that he was, was more than willing to be pet. 

 

“Yeah,” Longineu said.“A lot.I think I will when I finish high school.”

 

“Why?” Will asked.

 

Longineu took a moment to hum quietly and twirl Will’s hair between his fingertips.“I love my family,” he said eventually.“But I’d like to love them from… a little farther away.I want to get out on my own.” 

 

“Do you want to live alone?” Will asked. 

 

Longineu shrugged.Will’s hair was much too short to braid, but he felt Longineu start to attempt it anyways.“Maybe,” he said.“I wouldn’t mind company.”

 

“You think we’ll ever live together?” Will asked.“We could be roommates.Split rent.”

 

Longineu craned his head forward to look Will in the eyes better, braids falling into his face, and he smiled like the sun.“Bachelor pad,” he said.Will laughed and surged up to kiss him.

 

 

 

…

 

 

Nights where the full moon was hidden behind overcast skies were never as satisfying as they should be.Jon stretched his arms above his head, arching his back and hearing his vertebrae pop in turn.Shifting had taken a stupid amount of energy with the full not beaming full blast, and he felt sore and groggy all over, like a post moon hangover but worse. 

 

Everyone else was dragging, too, had been all night, and the events from last time had Spencer paranoid, tense, and looking over his shoulder the entire time. The pack was grumpy, tired, and ready to curl up in bed and give up for the next twelve hours.Then Jon heard a rustling in the woods, and all of them froze, tense. 

 

Will and Spencer were the only ones with pants on -Will somehow fully clothed, save for shoes- and Brendon at least had a shirt, but Jon hadn’t gotten that far yet.He wasn’t one to be shy about his body, growing up in a pack and all, but he didn’t think the early morning jogger who was approaching them would be happy to see his junk. 

 

It wasn’t a jogger, though, it was a man.A big man, in sturdy jeans and work boots, and a flannel shirt.He had others with him, four other men, one older, two younger, and a woman with them.They didn’t look particularly friendly, and the energy they were giving off had Jon’s canines growing back. 

 

They approached, and Spencer immediately shifted from exhausted to intimidating, crossing his arms over his chest and lifting his chin high to glare at the strangers.Jon recognized their scent, and he was sure Spencer would too.It was the jerks from last time. 

 

“What do you want?” Spencer asked, and fuck, his voice was so deep after the moon.Jon would be eating it up, if he wasn’t on guard. 

 

“Well lookie, boys.This pup thinks he’s hot shit, doesn’t he?” the leader said, voice mocking.The others laughed.Spencer growled quietly. 

 

“Don’t play games with me, puppy,” the alpha said.“We just came to talk.” 

 

“We don’t want to talk to you,” Spencer replied firmly.“We were just leaving.Let us pass.”

 

The alpha chuckled and shook his head.“I don’t think you have the authority to say no.Who do you think you are?” 

 

“Spencer Smith.I’m an alpha, just like you, and this is my pack.This is our territory.You don’t have permission to be here.” 

 

The larger alpha growled and stepped closer, but Spencer didn’t flinch at all.Brendon whined quietly in his throat, drawing back.Jon noticed the way Will squeezed his arm. 

 

“You are _nothing_ like me, Bitten. Your kind don’t deserve to lead anything.This land belongs to Zack, not you, and until he’s back, we’ll do as we please.”The alpha sneered, wide, baring his teeth.Spencer growled, low in his throat, and the man growled back along with half the wolves in his pack. 

 

“Zack turned the role over,” Jon interrupted.“He’s gone, and it’s ours.” 

 

The alpha’s eyes flicked to Jon and then back, not giving him the time of day.“You need pathetic little omegas to stand up for you?Some leadership.” 

 

“Just leave us alone,” Spencer snapped.“We didn’t do anything to you.” 

 

“You’ve disrespected-” the man stepped forward and shoved Spencer back, two strong hands on his chest.Spencer stumbled.“-the integrity of our way of life.Of everything wolves have stood for, for centuries.You don’t _deserve_ to call yourself an alpha.”He jabbed a strong finger into Spencer’s chest, but Spencer just tilted his chin up and glared, taking it with grace.

 

Will was not willing to act so easily, however.As soon as the guy touched Spencer the second time, Will threw himself forward, growling out, “Oh fuck off!”Jon grabbed a hold of him, and Brendon, too.Will fought like the little shit he was, kicking and throwing elbows.One of them caught Brendon straight in the nose and snapped his head back, causing blood to immediately start pouring over his face, but Brendon grit his teeth and held onto Will.One piercing glare from Spencer made Will simmer down, but Jon kept a hold of him anyways.Just in case. 

 

The man laughed again, and he was joined by most of his pack.“Pathetic,” he said.“Can’t even control your own pack.You pups better watch yourselves.” 

 

They stormed away, walking in a well-organized line.The alpha shoulder checked Spencer as he passed, and several of the pack members snarled.Will snarled back with full vehemence, but Spencer stayed stony faced and silent.

 

Jon knew how that would have gone down in a different setting.He’d seen it go down before, between bigger, more traditional packs back home.Turf wars in Chicago were not limited to gangs, and they got nasty, most of them ending with everyone bloody and beaten, somebody’s pack disgraced while another alpha gained power.This… this was not Chicago, though, and Spencer couldn’t play the games if he didn’t know about them.The pack was just messing with them anyways.They wouldn’t go out of their way to actually hurt a pack of insignificant pups, so at least they had that going for them. 

 

“Let’s go home,” Spencer murmured, tugging his shirt and coat on over his bare chest and shrinking in on himself a bit.Jon scrambled into his clothes, and he followed Spencer silently on the way home, watching him carefully and listening to Will and Brendon talking quietly behind him. 

 

“See?” Brendon asked, voice clogged a bit from having Will’s shirt balled up and pressed under his nose.“I can _totally_ take a hit.”

 

“I know you can,” Will responded, swinging his arm around Brendon’s shoulders.“You’re a badass, B.” 

 

At least those two were okay again, then.That was one thing Jon could cross off his list to worry about.He slid up alongside Spencer and glanced at him from the corner of his eye.Spencer just sighed. 

 

“Hey,” he murmured quietly.“You’re a damn scary alpha.Don’t listen to those guys.” 

 

Spencer gave a quiet, shaky laugh, and said, “Thanks, Jon.Sure.” 

 

“No problem, puppy.”He bumped his head gently against Spencer’s shoulder.He knew how to help Spencer when he was tense.He just wished he had a way to fix him when he was sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuckin' college....
> 
> THank you for reading!!!


	7. Chapter 7

_“Still doing good?”_

 

_“I’m great!I think I finally have a handle on this.”_

 

_“Oh yeah?”_

 

_“Haven’t felt down in a while.The pills are working.”_

 

_“That’s good to hear, but remember.Mental health isn’t about fix all, end all solutions.It’s something you have to keep tabs on and work with.You know that, right?”_

 

_“Yeah, totally.”_

 

_“If you do feel bad again, that’s not your fault.You can’t control that, you can only control how you respond.”_

 

_“I feel great, seriously.”_

 

_“I know, just-”_

 

_“The timer’s going off, ma’am.Hour’s up.”_

 

 

_..._

 

 

After it happened, Brendon glowered at his reflection in the mirror and wondered how he could be so weak, how he could have let himself do this.He’d taken his medication that morning.He’d done everything he was supposed to.He was supposed to be fine.He wasn’t. 

 

Jon would be home from work any minute now, and Spencer shortly after him.God only knew where Will was, but Brendon had to get out of there before any of them got home.He couldn’t tell them.He couldn’t.They’d be so disappointed in him.Brendon was disappointed in himself. 

 

He ran the inflamed skin under cold water and grimaced at the resulting sting, gritting his teeth and repeating, ‘You deserve this.You deserve this.You fucked up,’ in his head.After shutting the water off, he shoved on shoes and his jacket and slammed the front door behind him.He forgot his key somewhere in the apartment, but someone would be home to let him in later.He’d forgotten his phone, too, and Spencer would be pretty mad if he tried to call him.Mad, yes, but unsurprised.He didn’t have his wallet, so he couldn’t take the bus, or actually go anywhere at all.He dug around in his pockets and unearthed a pack of gum with one stick left in it, a movie ticket from a few weeks ago, and pill that he must have forgotten to take at some point.Not that morning, though.Brendon had taken his pill that morning; he distinctly remembered it.But he’d still fucked up.He was still broken. 

 

Brendon walked, shoulders hunched up and collar flipped up over his ears, hair flapping wildly in the wind, to Sarah’s house.If she wasn’t home he’d probably just sit on her porch and wait.If she was home, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do.He knocked on the door, hard wood sharp against his frozen knuckles.There was the sound of dogs barking and she opened the door a moment later. 

 

“You can just let yourself in, y’know,” she said.“You’re practically family.Dad won’t mind.” 

 

Brendon stepped inside and crouched down to pet Sarah’s dogs, two large golden retrievers who were about the same size he was when he shifted.They always went wild around him, sniffing him all over and making him giggle.He might have been a bit crazy, which was why he hadn’t asked Jon or Zack about it yet, but he was pretty sure that he could sometimes understand what they were saying. 

 

Sarah didn’t know any of that, of course.She said they sniffed him because he smelled so sweet. 

 

“‘Cause you’re a fruit,” she’d say, and Brendon would punch her in the arm.One of the dogs would bark, saying “Play!Play!”But that wasn’t what happened today.That was fine.

 

“I’m watching Twilight in the basement.Want to join?” 

 

Brendon didn’t make the face that he wanted to, deciding to instead shrug and stand up to take his jacket off.He didn’t feel like explaining how that movie wasn’t entirely accurate, and that werewolves weren’t some strange cult thing hiding in the mountains where literally everyone was related and kind of creepy.Because then he’d have to explain how he knew all of this -because the average human teenager didn’t know very much about werewolves at all- and Spencer was pretty adamant about them staying under the radar. 

 

Which wasn’t working brilliantly anyways, but Brendon wasn’t about to be the one to fuck it up worst. 

 

He hung his jacket up on the coat rack, even though Sarah’s own coat was bundled up on the floor.He’d been raised with _manners_ , damn it, and… fuck.Yeah, now he was thinking about it again. 

 

Brendon followed Sarah into the basement and made himself at home on the blanket nest there.They didn’t have a couch in the basement, but they did have two old mattresses stacked on top of each other, a mountain of pillows, and plenty of blankets.They leaned the pillows against the wall and stretched their legs out.Sarah bundled herself up in a blanket burrito, only her head sticking out the end, and turned all her attention to the screen. 

 

“It’s weird how they portray werewolves in this,” Sarah said.Brendon’s heart jumped.“Most movies just have, like, humans with claws and wolf heads and shit, but these guys were like ‘nah, man.Let’s go full fuckin’ anamorph.’They look too pretty to be werewolves.”

 

Brendon thought about his words carefully -which _was_ something he could do, actually, despite what the guys had to say about it- and decided that it was pretty much common knowledge and he could get away with it.“I mean, aren’t real werewolves like that though?They actually turn into wolves and stuff.And what’s wrong with being pretty?” 

 

Sarah smirked at him.“You want to be pretty?” she teased. 

 

Brendon rolled his eyes.“Fuck off.” 

 

“Don’t lie.We know the truth.You’re the prettiest boy in the world.” 

 

Brendon didn’t say anything, though he wanted to.He wanted to come up with some witty comment and banter back and forth with Sarah, teasing each other for hours like normal.But Brendon was distracted.His arm hurt and his head wouldn’t shut up and he kind of hated himself a little more than normal just then. 

 

Sarah, the absolute genius that she was, must have noticed the way he was frowning.“What’s wrong?” she asked.“Why are you all quiet?” 

 

He shouldn’t tell her.She didn’t need to know, but he had to tell somebody.He didn’t mean to blurt it out, he really didn’t, but then… “I saw my parents today.” 

 

Sarah hit the pause button for the movie and unraveled herself from the blanket, immediately turning her full attention towards Brendon, and this is what Brendon hated.She didn’t _want_ to listen to him, just as much as he didn’t want to ruin the mood by talking about all of this shit.She wanted to be watching the movie, and Brendon was ruining it. He hated this.He hated himself.He was supposed to be fixed already. 

 

“What happened?” she asked.

 

A sliver of light shot down from the upstairs as the door to the basement was pushed open, and it was followed by the clacking of nails on the wooden stairs.Seconds later there was a golden retriever -Mickey, the other named Minnie, like the cartoon- curling up practically on Brendon’s lap and pressing his nose under Brendon’s ear.Just like Jon, oh my God.Brendon pet him gently to distract himself as he spoke. 

 

“They didn’t see me.I just… I was at the store, b-because we needed food and stuff, y’know?And Spencer was gonna do it, but he’s been really tired lately, so I took the list and the debit card he leaves in the kitchen drawer…. Not important, sorry.But I, y’know, was at the store, and then I heard her voice, I… I heard her talking, and.Fuck Sarah, I haven’t seen my mom in forever, and I just….” 

 

“She didn’t recognize you?” Sarah asked. 

 

“I ran away.I looked and my mom was there with _him_ and with one of my sisters, and I just… I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I hid behind a stupid fucking bread display until they left, and then I just went home.I couldn’t even… I was so scared.I don’t know why I was so scared.” 

 

Mickey licked gently at Brendon’s cheek, and Sarah crawled closer.She sat next to Brendon silently and wrapped her arms around him, and Brendon appreciated her not trying to say anything to fix it.She just sat with him and rested her head on his shoulder.Mickey sighed in that way dogs do and dropped his head onto Brendon’s lap.Brendon took in a deep breath and tried to trick himself into breathing normally again. 

 

“It’s okay to be scared,” Sarah said. 

 

“Still sucks though,” he mumbled back. 

 

“Are you okay?”Brendon couldn’t bring himself to lie out loud, so instead he nodded.Sarah nodded back and flicked the movie on, settling against the wall and pulling Brendon with her so his head rested against her collar bone. 

 

Jacob appeared on the screen, and Brendon let himself scowl a little.He wished that part of the werewolf package was perfectly toned muscles.Oh well.His pack was cooler than Jacob’s, he supposed, and he could talk to dogs.Kind of. 

 

You win some, you lose some.

 

 

…

 

 

Will really had to get a move on with this ‘withdrawing from school’ plan.He had the paperwork filled out, and he’d already done the worst of it by forging Zack’s signature (something that he hoped Zack didn’t find out about until much, _much_ later, so that it’d be too far in the past for Zack to kill him).It was time to just do the deed.There was only one major problem: Will didn’t have a birth certificate. 

 

Well, he did, but he didn’t have it with him.It was far, far away, all the way across the country in a safety deposit box under the stairs in his mom’s house.His initial trip from Florida to Colorado had taken him several months, and he wasn’t eager to make that trip again.By the time he got back, his class would have graduated without him. 

 

As it was, he needed a way to get that stupid piece of paper.School was a major hindrance on his plans.It was hard to get a lot of studying done for his GED when he was being constantly bombarded by his school assignments.He was doing the bare minimum, seriously dragging ass, but it wasn’t like any of his teachers had expected much of him in the first place.He was one of _those_ students, always had been, even when he’d actually put in the effort back home.Or, back in Florida.Colorado was technically home now.

 

Wherever he was, school wasn’t his thing.He was maintaining a solid D average, which was good enough to graduate technically.If he let it get much worse, though, Spencer would start getting phone calls from his teachers.Will had gotten them to stop calling about him skipping school by bribing Josh, the secretarial assistant kid, to change the truancy contact number in Will’s file.The calls now went directly to Will’s cellphone, and all he had to do was his best ‘disappointed Spencer’ impression -which was pretty good, according to Brendon- and promise to give himself a talking to.It was awesome.

 

Josh wouldn’t change all of the numbers, though, and Will really couldn’t blame him.Still, that made things just a little bit harder.He needed a way to drop out of school, early enough so that he could take the test for his GED the day he turned eighteen, and he knew just the person to help him out. 

 

He didn’t know how to contact him, though.If Pete had a phone number -or even a phone, for that matter- Will didn’t know about it.He figured he’d have to do this the old fashioned way, the same way he had when he’d been living in his tent in the woods. 

 

Will trekked his way into the forest, crunching dead leaves underfoot and stepping over brambles.When he was a good distance in, far enough that he didn’t think anyone would overhear him, he let loose and hollered as loud as he could, “PETE!PETE WENTZ, YOU GLITTERY ASSHOLE, I KNOW YOU CAN HERE ME!”

 

With a loud ‘pop’ and a burst of smoke, there were suddenly two men standing in the woods in front of Will, mid-conversation with each other. 

 

“-just mean, is all I’m saying.” 

 

“I can’t believe you’re afraid of butterflies, you imp.They’re harmless.” 

 

“They were on my face, Patrick.My face!” 

 

“Um,” Will said, and both of their heads snapped in his direction.Patrick crossed his arms and looked around the woods curiously, as if he hadn’t noticed they’d travelled there.Pete smiled wide and clapped Will on the back. 

 

“Ryan! My boy!” 

 

“It’s Will, actually…”

 

“Just as well.What can I do for you, Willy Billy?” 

 

Will cast a hesitant glance towards Patrick, who was… petting a tree, and also potentially talking to it very quietly under his breath.Will looked back at Pete and raised an eyebrow.“It’s kind of a secret,” he said. 

 

Pete laughed.“Patty cakes!” he yelled.“Get out of here.Will and I have to have girl talk.” 

 

Will wrinkled his nose up and frowned, wandering off to settle down on a fallen log.Patrick gave a shrug and patted the tree one more time before disappearing.The noise hurt Will’s ears, and the scent made him sneeze.Patrick’s cloud was pink, whereas Pete’s had always been purple. 

 

“What can I do you for, wolf boy?Tell me your secrets.” 

 

“I’m dropping out of school.”Pete came over and sat on the log, nodding thoughtfully and folding his hands on his knees. 

 

“Okay, alright.Been there, done that.Good times.” 

 

“I have a problem though.” 

 

Pete cocked his head to the side.“Shoot.” 

 

“The paperwork to leave school needs a social security card or a birth certificate, and mine are in Florida.” 

 

“Mom’s house?” Pete asked.Sometimes Will forgot how much Pete actually knew about this stuff.He nodded.Pete chewed on his thumb and thought a while. 

 

“No sweat.We’ll need a few hours, though.I can get us there no problem, but I’ll have to rest.Within a few miles is easy, but poofing across the country?That’s kind of a work out.And we’ll want to go at night, when nobody will notice you breaking and entering.”

 

Will blinked, mind blown, because he hadn’t thought it would be that easy, and he couldn’t actually believe it was happening. 

 

“Oh, and I won’t be able to get us directly there.I can only take us places I can envision in my mind, but I’ve been to Jacksonville.How close is your place to the courthouse?”

 

Will blinked again.“Um… close enough….”

 

“Perfect.When do we leave?” 

 

“Oh, um…” Will hadn’t exactly expected Pete to be much help with this, so he wasn’t sure how to answer that.He hadn’t thought that far ahead.“Um… what are you doing tomorrow?”Spencer didn’t have work tomorrow, but he had it early on Tuesday, so he’d be asleep before midnight.He was responsible like that.Jon, on the other hand, had an opening shift in the morning, so he’d be down for the count pretty early tomorrow night. 

 

“Dude, I don’t have plans.”Pete cackled.“I mean, I do sometimes.But vampires have all the time in the world, literally.They don’t mind cancellations.”

 

Will nodded slowly.Vampires… another thing he was always forgetting about.He’d never actually met one, but Jon and Spencer both had, apparently.It had taken Will a long time to get used to the idea of werewolves.He didn’t really want to think too hard about blood suckers, mosquitos or otherwise. 

 

“Tomorrow it is.Head over to my place?” Pete asked. 

 

“I don’t know where that is….” 

 

“I got you.”Pete reached forward and took a hold of Will’s face, placing both thumbs on Will’s temples.He closed his eyes for a moment, and then suddenly Will had a very distinct… not quite a memory, but close… a street map for how to get to Pete’s house.House… huh.He’d always imagined Pete lived in a cave, or like, the clouds.Or a cardboard box, maybe.Not a house, a normal three bedroom one story with a white picket fence.

 

“Meet there.One a.m. good for you?” Pete asked, and Will nodded, reaching up to brush his fingertips over his forehead.His head felt all weird and tingly.Pete nodded.“Let’s get you home, then.You might feel dizzy for a while, but that’s normal.Lay down if you have to.” 

 

Will started to say, “Yeah, sure,” but then Pete clapped his hands, and Will landed in a lump on his bedroom floor, making Brendon scream, startled, and fall out of the desk chair. 

 

 

… 

 

 

 

Will and Brendon were out.Will was at work, probably, although Spencer still had no idea where that was.Brendon hadn’t been there when Spencer had gotten home, and he’d forgotten his phone.Zack never would have stood for this kind of shit, but Spencer really didn’t have an option.He just tossed himself down on the couch and opened up his computer to get a start on his assignments.The worst thing about college was that he constantly felt like he was falling behind.There was never really an end point, and it made him anxious.He couldn’t wait to graduate. 

 

Jon came home shortly after Spencer, radiating the scent of coffee and looking just about dead on his feet from his long shift.He came over to the couch and collapsed next to Spencer, burying his face in Spencer’s shoulder and sighing.Spencer patted his knee absently. 

 

“You’re always doing school,” Jon complained.Spencer hummed tensely, not up to saying actual words.Not up to explaining that he _had_ to constantly do school, so that he could get his degree, so that he could get a better job, so that he could actually afford to support the pack and get his life together, and then maybe things would stop going to hell. 

 

Jon made a grumpy sound and sat up, then dug the heels of his hands into Spencer’s shoulders.“You’re so tense.You need to relax.” 

 

“Can’t,” Spencer said simply, because he couldn’t.The world wasn’t slowing down, so neither was he.He couldn’t stop doing school, couldn’t stop going to work, couldn’t stop calling Zack.He couldn’t stop feeling guilty about dodging his father’s calls -his actual father- but he also couldn’t find the energy to answer them. 

 

He couldn’t stop worrying about the pack that was terrorizing them, or the humans that wanted them dead and were probably not that far off from figuring out who they were, or the fact that he was absolute shit at being an alpha and had no idea how to fix it.He couldn’t stop worrying that Will and Brendon were practically running wild, but Spencer didn’t know how to handle it because he was only _nineteen_.He had no idea what he was doing. 

 

He couldn’t stop being exhausted, because he never got enough sleep and never got to sleep in.He couldn’t stop the thrumming of his wolf under his skin and his fear that it might still come bursting out at random.He couldn’t stop worrying about the pills, thinking about them, obsessing over them.He couldn’t stop thinking about Jon.Worrying.Obsessing. 

 

He couldn’t believe they’d done it.He couldn’t believe he’d let Jon do it.It’d been several days since the “it,” but he was still mortified.He could barely look Jon in the eye, even though Jon was acting as if nothing had happened at all. 

 

Of all the things Spencer had to worry about, _that_ was the one he couldn’t get off his mind.He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what they were doing since they’d started it.What had initially been paranoia that Jon was going to do something, anything, after finding out about Spencer’s secret quickly turned to confusion.It wasn’t that Spencer didn’t know what they were doing -except that he didn’t, not in solid terms- he just didn’t know exactly why. 

 

“Damn.I can see smoke coming out your ears,” Jon said.Spencer shook himself from his thoughts and frowned. 

 

“What?”

 

“That’s something my mom used to say.It means you’re thinking really loud.You okay?” Jon asked, and he needed to stop staring at Spencer with those giant eyes of his.He needed to stop being so considerate to Spencer when he himself was so exhausted.He needed to stop being so… ugh. 

 

“I’m fine,” Spencer said.He closed out his webcampus page and set the laptop aside.He couldn’t focus.He’d worry about it later.

 

“You wanna talk about it?” 

 

“No.” 

 

“You wanna make out?” 

 

Spencer shot him a look, because that was always Jon’s solution.He always wanted to make out with Spencer, and he had no idea why.Sure, Jon was gay, but Spencer _wasn’t_ , and wasn’t that supposed to mean something? 

 

Spencer wasn’t gay (he’d been mated with a _girl_ for crying out loud), but he also had to begrudgingly admit that he liked it.Whatever it was they were doing.It was like wrestling, in a way.Getting to tumble around and pin Jon down, which had always been fun by itself.That was fun with anyone.But with Jon there were extra perks, and whenever they kissed it felt like there was an invisible tether between them, pulling them closer and closer, like they couldn’t possibly get close enough. 

 

It was hard to explain.Spencer didn’t understand it. 

 

“You’re smoking,” Jon teased. 

 

“It’s gay,” Spencer said, and Jon laughed.God damn it.It wasn’t funny.Spencer was having some kind of… some kind of crisis, like a nervous breakdown, and Jon was all laughter and make out sessions.Spencer would have killed for a pill, or a drink.A joint maybe.But not killed, no, because… because he didn’t think about that.About what happened.About those poor men, and….

 

Jon interrupted his thoughts before they could get much worse.“Dude,” he said.“It’s just making out.Didn’t you make out with your friends in high school?” 

 

Spencer hadn’t had many friends in high school.“No?” 

 

Jon chuckled.“It’s not like we’re having anal.”Spencer scoffed.“I’m not asking you to hold my hand and buy me flowers.It’s making out.It’s fun.Like I said, just pretend I’m a girl.” 

 

“Kind of hard when you have the beard…” Spencer grumbled, making Jon laugh again.Spencer wanted to pin him down and shut him up, and… well, that was actually an option. 

 

“Fine,” he said.“Whatever, Walker.C’mere.” 

 

Jon smiled, wide and bright like the sun, and then his mouth was against Spencer’s, and they were pressed to each other, practiced and easy from the last few times.Spencer kissed him back, reveling in the soft feeling of lips against lips and pushing Jon back when he leaned forwards.He pushed until Jon was on the couch and Spencer was pressing him down, biting at his bottom lip and making Jon go finally, blissfully, still. 

 

Spencer relaxed into it, into the feeling, into the wolf-y part of his brain shouting things about submission that Spencer didn’t want to think about.Spencer let the feelings take over and melted into Jon, letting Jon pull him in tight, and for the time they stayed like that, Spencer’s head was silent, finally. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yikes

_ “Did you walk here?  You’re all red.”  _

 

_ “Sure is cold out.  It’s not even winter yet.  What’s up with that?  But yeah, everyone’s busy.  It’s not far.  I told Spence not to worry about it.”  _

 

_ “He usually drives you, doesn’t he?” _

 

_ “Yeah, but he’s busy.  Everyone is these days.  It’s not a big deal.”  _

 

_ “Everyone’s busy?”  _

 

_ “I don’t mind.  It’s just Jon has work and Will has a bunch of stuff going on and Spencer’s just Spencer.”  _

 

_ “Everyone’s alright though?”  _

 

_ “Why wouldn’t we be?” _

 

_ “You have to understand my worry.  You’re all pretty young.  It’s just good to double check.”  _

 

_ “Nah, it’s fine.  We can take care of ourselves.”  _

 

_ “You sound pretty confident.”  _

 

_ “I feel optimistic today.”  _

 

_ “Well that’s good.  I’m glad to hear that.”  _

  
  


_ … _

 

Once Will made it to the house, the entire trip took mere seconds.  The walk to Pete’s house was easy, and he quickly found himself standing in Pete’s living room, which was just as grungy as could be expected, but also overflowing with house plants.  Plants rested in pots and window boxes and hung in baskets from the ceiling.  He ran his finger over a leaf, and the entire branch swayed into his touch, wrapping around his finger.  There was a Playstation and a pile of discs in the corner next to a TV- the old box kind from the nineties which sat on a wooden crate instead of a TV stand.  There was also an old Atari hooked up to it, joysticks and everything.  It was strange. 

 

Spread around the entire room were random bits of tech, dismantled computers and DVD players, along with mountains of papers.  Modern science magazines and ancient leather bound books that looked seconds from falling apart, weathered scrolls with writing Will didn’t recognize, IT manuals and botany books, along with an assortment of knick-knacks and doodads that  _ had _ to be magical.  There was a crucifix over one of the doors, and there were a few different symbols painted onto the walls that had to mean something, Will just wasn’t sure what.  There was an old-timey photograph tacked to the wall, showing boys who looked like Pete and Patrick in ancient suits, arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders, smiling broadly.  The photo was black and white, but more like yellow and grey from wear, like the ones they liked to show in history class.  There was another one, a Polaroid, with Pete and Patrick and someone with wild hair, leaning into each other and smiling.  A third picture showed Pete in the most ridiculous outfit Will had ever seen, pointed shoes and poofy pants and a tiny vest and a crown. 

 

Along with all that nonsense were empty beer cans and pizza boxes, energy drinks and candy wrappers, and the occasional tomato.  Their couch was worn in and well loved, and the area rug, curling up in the corners, hadn’t been vacuumed in months.  The house smelled like a strange mixture of stale weed and moth balls, and Will could catch someone else’s scent in the apartment -someone besides Pete and Patrick- but they weren’t there long enough to ask. 

 

“Ready to go?” Pete asked, and as soon as Will nodded, Pete was clapping his hands, sending them hurtling through time and space. 

 

There was no other way to describe it besides ‘waking up from a bad dream,’ when you wake up dizzy and a little disoriented, sweating with a stomach ache and too much heat behind your eyes, haunted by the panicked thought that you’ve forgotten something.  That’s what travelling -poofing, whatever- felt like.  Will landed in a heap on the ground, gratefully on a patch of grass.  The grass was wet from dew, but at least it was soft.  Will didn’t have the strength to pick himself up just yet.  

 

Pete staggered and braced himself on a nearby tree, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.  “Oh bloody fuck,” he murmured, some weird accent on his lips. 

 

“You okay?” Will asked from the ground.

 

“Been a while,” Pete answered.  He swayed a bit when he pushed off of the tree, and Will clambered to his feet to help him.  He pulled Pete’s arm over his shoulders to help support him.  

 

“Not like crossing the entire country is hard or anything,” Will reasoned. 

 

“You shoulda seen me in my prime.  Could poof without a care in the world.”

 

Will looked around and took a moment to figure out where they were.  His backpack was slipping off one of his shoulders, but he couldn’t fix it while holding Pete up.  He surveyed the courthouse, then read a nearby street sign and nodded.  He started walking down the low lit street, dragging Pete along. 

 

“Oh yeah?” he asked.

 

“Tried to go from Ireland to Canada once.  Landed in the fucking ocean.  Patrick had to come save my ass.  He’s never let me live that down,” Pete said, fond grin on his face.  Will rolled his eyes.  What a Pete thing to do. 

 

“How’d he know where to find you?” Will asked, tripping over an uneven patch of sidewalk and catching himself quickly.  “I thought you could only poof to places you could see.  He’d been to that particular place in the ocean?”

 

“Sometimes you can poof to people.  Usually they have to call you, though.  When they call directly for you, it feels like a vacuum pulling you towards them.  If they just mention you it’s more like a window.  I probably called him to come save me, but I don’t exactly remember much of drowning.”  Pete grinned again, and he was starting to walk better on his own, taking some of the weight off of Will.  

 

“So wait,” Will said, side-eying Pete suspiciously.  “You can just hear when people talk about you?” 

 

“I can hear anything I want if it’s close enough.  It’s harder for others, sure, but I have the entire town lit up like a message board.  Nothing happens without me seeing it.” 

 

That was unnerving.  Will didn’t necessarily like the thought of Pete Wentz watching over him like some kind of unconventional Santa Claus. 

 

“Why?” he asked.  He wasn’t sure why he wanted to know, exactly.  He was curious, sure, and he was trying to make small talk.  It was still a few blocks to his place, and Will was getting more and more nervous with each step.  He recognized these streets, the houses and trees and same old mailboxes.  He recognized the smells and sounds.  It made something ache deep in the pit of his stomach. 

 

Pete pulled his arm back to himself and cracked his neck.  He shrugged.  “Maybe I’m just bored.”  Will doubted that was the actual answer, but he also doubted that he’d get a real answer out of Pete any time soon.  It wasn’t important to know, though.  He was just digging up somebody else’s garden.  That was something his mom used to say.  She said Will went about digging up gardens far more than was appropriate.  She was kind of right. 

 

She was also right in this town, just a few stop signs away.  Oh boy. 

 

“So how does this fairy thing work, anyways?” Will asked, seeking to further distract himself before he threw up.

 

Pete looked at him and wiggled his fingers, making sparks dance in the air and fizz out.  “Magic,” he said, smirking like the devil, and then laughing, loud and boisterous into the silent night air. 

 

“How old are you?” 

 

Pete kept a straight face and said, “Three.” Liar.  “What’s with all the questions?” 

 

Will shrugged again and plucked at his hoodie, which was uncomfortable in the muggy Florida air.  The back of his shirt was soaked with sweat, overheated from a t-shirt, hoodie, and a backpack. He shoved his sleeves up to his elbows and blew out a long breath.

 

“Just curious,” he said. 

 

“You mean nervous.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Which one of these bad boys is yours?” 

 

They’d stopped walking.  Pete looked around curiously, and after a long moment where Will didn’t answer, he nodded and pointed.  The house he pointed at was brown, a small two story with wood siding and dark green shutters and a wire fence wrapping up the backyard like a Christmas present.  All of the lights were out, and there was a lumpy jack-o-lantern rotting on the porch, smashed in by some kid’s baseball bat.  It would be Halloween next week.  His mom had probably cried when she saw the pumpkin.  She’d always been like that.

 

“I’ll be down the street a ways.  Come find me when you’re done, cool?” Pete said, already ambling off down the street.  Will nodded numbly and swallowed hard before making his way towards the house. 

 

He hopped the back fence with an ease that came from jumping it time and time again.  The grass was overgrown.  It had always been Will’s job to cut it on Saturday afternoons.  The rickety tree house he’d built in fifth grade still sat perched in the tree in the back yard, and the fire pit was there, grass sprouting out of it suggesting it hadn’t been used in a while.  Will crept up the concrete bricks that made up the back steps and eased the door open, slowly so it wouldn’t squeak.  It was unlocked just like he knew it would be, just like it always had been.  

 

_ “Come and try me,”  _ his mom used to say, patting the shotgun next to her bed.   _ “Anyone sneaking into this house at night won’t be sneaking back out.”   _ The gun was loaded with a silver bullet, just in case, so it would kill anyone or  _ anything _ that went bump in the night. 

 

Will tried not to think about it. 

 

He tiptoed through the house, heart hammering, peeking around corners and holding his breath.  His pulse was hammering in his ears so loud that he was sure his mother could hear it upstairs, like the  _ Tell-Tale Heart _ or something.  

 

Locating the safety deposit box under the stairs and unlocking it was easy.  Sneaking back down the hallway and being faced with the photographs on the wall was less so.  They were just as Will had remembered them.  There was one of those lame picture frames with a circle for every year Will was in school.  It stopped at ninth grade, and damn, he’d looked so young then.  Two years ago.  He’d left during tenth grade, too early in the year to catch that year’s picture day.  He smiled fondly at the picture from kindergarten.  Himself in a button up shirt and tie that he  _ hated _ .  He’d thrown such a fit when his mom had made him wear it, screaming and kicking.  He’d been such a brat.  She’d combed his blond hair to the sides, but it was sticking up in the back.  There was a band aid on his forehead, and three teeth were missing from his beaming smile.  He’d been more than happy to have his picture taken, stupid outfit or not.  

 

Will meandered down the hallway looking over the old familiar pictures.  There were family pictures of him and his cousins at varying stages of their lives, and a picture of himself, just a baby, screaming his head off and being held by Santa.  So maybe Will had never liked Santa Claus- Pete Wentz or otherwise.  

 

A picture at the end of the hall caught his attention and stopped him in his tracks.  The frame was old and wooden, glued back together in a corner from the time Will had knocked it off the wall.  The photograph behind the dusty glass showed a much younger version of his mom, back when she’d had hair long enough to reach her waist even when it was tied up in a ponytail.  Will was sitting on her lap, three years old and glancing off to the side curiously, not paying any attention to the photographer.  The picture didn’t fit the frame correctly from being folded at one end, effectively cutting someone out of the picture.  The only visible part of the third party was a trouser covered knee and a man’s hand on Will’s shoulder.  

 

The photo had been folded since Will could remember, and the one time Will had tried unfolding it, his mother had screamed at him loud enough for the neighbors to hear and gossip about it.  Will had held a resentment for that picture when he was younger, for how angry it made his mother and for the man who’d walked out on them.  Now, though…  Will didn’t know what came over him as he plucked the picture frame off the wall and clutched it close with his paperwork.  

 

He looked down at his loot -his social security card, the picture frame, and his birth certificate, which was being wrinkled by his sweaty grip- and nodded to himself.  That would do.  He didn’t want to risk going upstairs for anything, and he didn’t think he could stomach looking around anymore.  He briefly considered peeking in on his mom, but the thought made his eyes burn and his breathing come too fast, so he shook the idea off and crept silently out of the house. 

 

It was too easy, and as Will ran down the street towards Pete, he couldn’t help but imagining her coming after him.  Like she’d known he was there.

 

She hadn’t, though.  There was no way she could have.  He’d been gone for over a year.  Why would she expect him back?  For all he knew, when Pete went about fabricating his identity, he’d also killed Will off, just to be sure.  Will couldn’t know for certain.  That creepy little dude was a mystery. 

 

Will carefully placed his stolen items in the main pocket of his backpack and followed his nose down the street to Pete’s location.  He found him in the park, sprawled out under a tree and dead asleep.  Will went to sit next to him and he stared off into space for a long time, waiting for the fairy to wake up.  

 

After what felt like hours, though Will couldn’t know how long it had been, he noticed Pete stirring next to him.  He wiped away the tears that had burned in his eyes and spilled their way down his cheeks and took a steadying breath.  He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up about this. 

 

“Y’know….” Pete’s voice was rough and slurred from sleep.  “I ran away when I was a boy.  Left school and just ran for America.  It hurts, going back.” 

 

Will nodded numbly.  Pete reached over and patted at his knee, then dropped back off to sleep again.  Will leaned back against a tree, listened to Pete snore, and tried not to think about any of it. 

 

_ … _

 

Ryan realizes one night, in a burst of exhausted laughter around four a.m., that he had very few skills he could write on a resume.  He waved one arm weakly in the air, tracing imaginary patterns on the ceiling with his fingertips, and recited some out loud. 

 

“Sucking dick,” he said with a wide grin.

 

“Twerking,” he said with a bubble of laughter. 

 

“Taking a beating,” he said and laughed hysterically. 

 

He wanted to list more, but he couldn’t with how hard he was laughing.  He could barely breathe, tears spilling from his eyes as he rolled and rolled in bed, overjoyed.  The movement was awakening bruises Dahvie had given him not long ago, but the drugs Dahvie had given him afterwards were making up for it.  Ryan felt like he was flying, like he was on autopilot, like he had absolutely no control over his actions. 

 

Ryan hated drugs, but God, he loved being high. 

 

“That’s nice, dear,” Marian said, tutting around the room somewhere that Ryan couldn’t see.  She was doing something.  She’d come over shortly after Dahvie left.  She was there to take care of him. 

 

It was baffling that anyone would bother wanting to take care of Ryan at this point, or that anyone would think he needed it.  He was doing just fine on his own, but Marian was not to be argued with.  He didn’t even want to try. 

 

He’d met the aging woman for the first time a short while after moving into the motel.  He was still new to this lifestyle, still shaken up and lonely.  He’d snuck out of his room on a rather desolate morning after hours spent awake, intent on going  _ somewhere _ and doing  _ anything _ to work off all his excess energy, and that’s when he’d seen her.  She’d been standing there on the balcony, in front of the door right next to Ryan’s own, smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke at the overcast sunrise.  She was an older woman, late forties at least, and she’d worn black lingerie under a sheer black robe type thing.  Her outfit left nothing to the imagination.  Her feet were bare, toenails painted red.  Her fingernails were the same color, but chipped.  Her unnaturally blonde hair had been wrapped up in rollers, strands falling out like wisps around her face.  She leaned against the railing, breasts threatening to come tumbling out of her bra, and looked him over with a carefully painted eyebrow.  

 

“Well hey there, sweetheart,” she’d said, just another person calling him sweetheart.  “Damn.  You must be new.” 

 

Her name was Marian, like “Mother Mary,” she teased, or more ironically, “The Virgin Mary.”  She’d occupied the motel room next to Ryan’s for a good while now, because apparently the owner of the establishment had no moral qualms about such things.  Her job contrasted Ryan’s in every way except that they both did sex work.  Marian was a Dominatrix, experienced, powerful.  People paid her to mess them up.  She was in control, she was her own boss, and she knew what she was doing.

 

Marian had carefully worded advertisements in every paper in the tri-town area, and she had men coming to her from even farther than that, sometimes as many as five a day.  Sometimes none, but that’s how the business went.   

 

Ryan was young and inexperienced, floundering around desperately and trying to keep it together.  Recently Dahvie had been training him for other “activities.”  Of course he’d hit Ryan a few times before, nothing  _ too _ bad or anything, nothing he couldn't handle, whenever he messed up too badly or pissed him off.  This was different though.  Dahvie’s goal now, as he put it himself, was to “teach you how to take a whipping, Georgie Boy. Because they’re going to want to do it.  They’re going to pay to do whatever they want to you, and you won’t just learn to take it, you’ll learn to love it.” 

 

“Roll over,” Marian said, tapping Ryan’s hip.  “You’re bleeding onto your own blankets.  Let me see.”  You could tell Marian was a Dominatrix by spending only a fraction of time with her, in Ryan’s opinion.  Everything about her screamed authority.  You couldn’t see her as anyone but who she was, and that was terrifying, because if he could see that on Marian, God only knows what the rest of the world saw on him. 

 

“The world ain’t a pretty place for people like us,” she told him, wiping over Ryan’s back with something wet and cold.  “Doesn’t look bad.  Just a little broken skin.” 

 

Ryan hummed quietly and nuzzled against the blankets, which smelled like cigarette smoke and sweat.  Dahvie’d had a few smokes earlier.  It had tainted the whole room.  Not that Ryan minded too much.  It kind of smelled like home. 

 

“Oh this welt sure is pretty,” she said, brushing a fingertip over a sore place on Ryan’s lower thigh, making him hiss and squirm and then giggle, still flying.  She settled him with a hand on his lower back. 

 

“Lotion will help.  May I touch you like that?” 

 

It was so weird to have someone ask permission to touch him that Ryan didn’t know how to respond for a moment.  Some of the patrons were bashful, sure, but they quickly got over that.  More often than not they simply told him how they wanted him or put him where they pleased.  Dahvie certainly never asked anymore.  Ryan was used to it. 

 

“M’sure,” he mumbled, wondering why she would need to ask permission to rub cold cream into his burning skin, why he would ever say no to that.  It felt so good that he wanted to purr, but he wasn’t a cat.  He whined quietly instead. 

 

Dahvie said he needed to learn to take it without shifting over.  Guys would fuck a twink, but they wouldn’t fuck a mutt.  He had to hide it.  Dahvie didn’t want their secret getting out, and neither did Ryan.  He didn’t want to imagine what someone might do to him then. 

 

“You drink this water now,” Marian said, guiding Ryan up and pushing a bottle into his hands, not accepting it back until half of the water was gone.  “Good.  Now get some sleep.  You look exhausted, sweetheart.” 

 

Ryan was exhausted, and a little sick to his stomach.  He felt like he could barely keep his eyes open.  He didn’t want to. 

 

He crawled into bed when Marian told him to and watched her turn off the light under heavy eyelids.  “Why are you bein’ so nice to me?” he mumbled as she was leaving.  She turned, and though he could only see her silhouette in the doorway, he was certain she wasn’t smiling. 

 

“Who else is going to be?” she responded, and whether she left in that instant or not, it didn’t matter.  Ryan was already asleep.

  
  


… 

  
  
  


It was getting out of control.  Spencer knew enough to know that.  It was fine to be tired if there was a reason for it, but Spencer didn’t have a reason.  It was unwarranted, but fine.  If his body wanted to be tired, he’d show it tired.  He forced himself up and out of bed with his alarm at five-thirty in the morning.  He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, and popped a pill.  His days went better with those, and he was dead set and determined to have a good day.  The gym, work, class, and an accounting assignment that he  _ needed _ to do to pass this class.  He’d pick up groceries and come home, and he’d hopefully have all of his homework done by midnight.  He’d call Zack and maybe even his father.  It would be a good day.  

 

It was only Tuesday.

 

Spencer ducked down and splashed water on his face, rubbing it in in a half-assed attempt at keeping his eyes open.  When he picked his head back up, he noticed Jon watching him from the doorway.  His hair was sticking up all over the place, clothes crooked and sleep wrinkled.  He had his arms wrapped around himself and was more asleep than awake at that point.

 

Spencer was suddenly painfully aware that he was naked.  How had that happened?  He was still mostly asleep himself.  He didn’t remember getting undressed.  Maybe he’d shifted during the night again.  Just further evidence that the gym was a good idea.  This was getting out of control, and they all knew how bad it could get if he didn’t handle it.

 

Thus the pills, he rationalized.  He might lose it without them, and nobody wanted that. 

 

“I’m going to the gym,” Spencer told Jon, voice croaking from misuse.  “Go to bed.”  Jon nodded and went.  He was always more cooperative when he was tired, like he didn’t realize he could argue.  Spencer scrubbed a hand over his face.  He needed to shave, but he could just do it in the shower after his workout.  The shower would be necessary.  Going to work all disgusting would just give Dobbenhauer another reason to write him up, and if Spencer lost this shitty job they’d be screwed.  Sure, Zack would help them out, but Spencer wasn’t about to fail like that.  He was already failing the wolf parts of being an Alpha. He wasn’t going to fail at the human parts, too. 

 

He checked the boys’ room before he left to make sure the two sleeping lumps were accounted for.  Yep.  Two lumps.  Spencer left the apartment as silently as he could and made the walk to the gym with the sunrise following his back, chilly November air waking him fully.  He tightened his backpack straps and decided he might as well get a head start.  He broke into a run. 

  
  


…

 

“Perhaps remedial classes would be the best course of action.”

 

With that statement, Will decided his day was officially not going according to plan.  As his mom used to say, ‘Men make plans and God laughs.’  Well, God was laughing hard at this one, and Will would have to pray like crazy later to make up for the amount of swearing he was doing in his head.

 

He’d meant to get home before everyone got up that morning, but he’d dozed off in the park some time during the night.  He’d woken up to the sunrise, Pete shaking him, and four mosquito bites.  It was nearly six when they’d gotten back to Pete’s house, and Spencer was up when Will got home from his walk across town.  He’d hidden outside until Spencer left and then crept back to his room.  He’d considered sneaking in through the fire escape, but that seemed like more hassle than it was worth.  Instead he bunkered down in the cold and waited. 

Inside, Dylan was curled up on his pillow, and when Will moved him he yowled loud enough to wake Brendon, scratched Will’s arm, and ran off. 

 

“Why are you dressed?” Brendon had mumbled, rubbing at his eyes and sitting up.  Will didn’t remember the excuse he’d given.  He’d wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and be dead to the world for a few hours, but Jon didn't have work until later that afternoon, and Will didn’t want to deal with the force that was Jon’s disappointment.  

He got plenty of disappointed looks from his teachers at school, where he was so behind in his classes that it wasn’t even funny.  School was a massive joke, honestly.  He didn’t have any friends in his classes because he’d spent too much of the previous school year trying to fight everybody and not being very friendly.  To be fair, he still wanted to fight someone, but he didn’t have a good enough reason for it anymore.  Plus, he figured he had to grow up eventually. 

 

As it was, Will couldn’t find a good way to make friends in his classes this late into school, or into the semester for that matter.  Everyone was excited, bouncing around talking about college tours and scholarships and the bonfire parties everyone was invited to but Will could never seem to locate.  Not that he’d have anyone to talk to at the parties anyways.  

 

He wasn’t feeling sorry for himself, though.  Don’t get him wrong.  Everything (that day excluded) was going in the right direction.  He had his birth certificate  _ and _ his social security card, he had extensive knowledge on the GED tests that would lead him to victory, and best of all, nobody in the pack had any suspicions at all.  He also had a job and a kind-of-boyfriend, which made up for everything.  If he had a single class with his kind-of-boyfriend, Will’s situation would have been absolutely perfect. 

 

His current situation, though, or perhaps the whole day in general was less than perfect.  Subpar, you might say.  Will had heard Brendon mumbling to himself about how you can’t control your situation, only your reaction to it, and even Will had to admit that his reaction wasn’t the best one.  

 

Remedial classes.  What a fucking joke.  Who did this guy think he was?  Will wasn’t an idiot.  He wasn’t even slow, and he’d be damned if he got put into special ed. months into his senior year of high school.  He’d made it this far, damn it.  

 

Will’s plan for actually withdrawing from school had been one of the ‘drop it and run’ variety.  He’d planned to slide them the paperwork and get the hell out of there before anyone could ask questions.  Going out in a blazing glory was more his style, though. 

 

So when Mr. Wright -what a dick- suggested remedial classes, Will said, “That won’t be necessary,” and slapped his paperwork down on the man’s desk.  Mr. Wright looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head, which was just about as surprised as Will felt as he sat there, cursing himself to the moon and back in his head and praying he didn’t just ruin everything. 

 

One minute he’d been sleeping through a math lecture, and the next he was in a stare down with the school’s guidance counselor.  Not the first time he’d been in this sort of situation. 

 

“Um…” Mr. Wright stuttered, gingerly picking up the papers in front of him.  “What is this, William?” 

 

“My guardian is withdrawing me from school,” Will answered steadily, digging his birth certificate out of his backpack and smacking that down as well.  Mr. Wright picked it up and frowned at it.  

 

“Perhaps I should call and talk with him…” Mr. Wright said slowly, eyes scanning the papers as he reached for his phone.  Will’s heart was going double time in his chest.  He swallowed it down and shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back in his chair and stretching out. 

 

“You can try,” he said.  “But he already signed the paperwork, so legally you don’t have a reason to contact him at this point.  My dad’s pretty busy with work.  He might not appreciate the call.”  

 

Will thought back fondly to the weirded out face Zack made whenever they called him ‘Dad.’  It was great.  He’d probably be making a very different one in this situation, but what Zack didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.  

 

“And this is all in order…?” 

 

Will had read the laws on this front and back, multiple times.  He knew what he was doing here.  He had everything taken care of, every ‘t’ crossed and ‘i’ dotted, and he knew his rights. 

 

“I was supposed to turn it in after school today, but I suppose if it’s already done I might as well go home now,” Will said, shrugging again.  “I mean, I’m not a student here anymore.” 

 

Mr. Wright sighed and rubbed his stubby fingers over his wrinkled forehead.  “You’re sure this is the best choice for you?” 

 

“My dad and I talked it out.  We already have a homeschool program laid out.” Will was lying through his teeth, but he figured that hiding in the library studying for his GED could be considered homeschooling, if you squint.  What Mr. Wright didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.  What Zack didn’t know, what Jon and Spencer didn’t know… Nobody needed to know anything until it was too late to do anything about it. 

 

Mr. Wright sighed heavily, giving up, and Will let himself celebrate quietly inside his head.  “Let me input the paperwork, and then you’re free to go,” he said, setting the papers down and turning towards the computer.  “May I ask what homeschool program you’ll be using?” 

 

“Colorado Virtual,” Will answered. 

 

Mr. Wright nodded.  “Good program.  Excuse me.”  

 

Mr. Wright disappeared from the room, and Will pulled out his cellphone to fire off a text to Longineu, telling him to meet for celebratory curly fries as soon as he could get free from class.  While Will anticipated last minute bumps in the road, some kind of academic ‘gotcha!’ coming down like a hammer, nothing came.  Will collected his transcript and birth certificate, and easy as that he was skipping down the street wearing the biggest smile anyone had ever seen. 

 

He was free.  He was fucking free.  He grinned up at the sky and shouted, “Thank you!” either to God or Pete Wentz or both.  Somewhere in the back of his head, Will heard a quiet voice say, “I got you, boo,” but Will wrote it off as a hallucination and continued on his way.

  
  


…

  
  


The rest of the week went off without a hitch, and by the time Sunday rolled around he still had the wool pulled over everybody’s eyes.  He rolled out of bed early that morning, as was his routine, and got himself ready for the day.  Brendon was up with him, surprising considering he tended not to rise on the weekends until well after eleven, unless he was in a certain headspace.  Then he’d be up before the birds or just not go to sleep at all, but that hadn’t happened in a while.  

 

“Where are you going?” Brendon asked.  He had one eye closed as he squinted into a box of cereal.  He pulled some kind of face and put it back in the cabinet.  Will didn’t want to know what was wrong with the Frosted Flakes, honestly. 

 

“Church,” he said.  “Then work.  Wanna come?” 

 

“To work?” Brendon asked. 

 

“Church, dumbass.”  He didn’t have to look up from his leftover pizza breakfast to know what face Brendon was making at him.  A scrunched up, ‘Why do you even bother?’ no doubt.  Will didn’t feel like having the church conversation again.  He switched subjects. 

 

“Where the hell is Spencer?” 

 

Brendon shrugged and pushed past Will to grab the milk, which he chugged straight out of the carton before putting back.  He wiped his mouth on his sleeve.  

 

“Asleep?” Brendon asked.  He sniffed the air and then shook his head.  “Nah, he must be at the gym.  He’s started that up again, and dude, I’m relieved.  He was sleeping way too much to be normal.  Normal for Spencer, that is.” 

 

“Nothing about Spencer is normal,” Will responded.  Brendon chuckled.  “What are you doing today?” 

 

“Sarah needs help with a school thing,” Brendon said, shrugging and pulling the Frosted Flakes out again.  He made a clicking sound with his tongue, and then poured a small pile of flakes onto the counter.  Dylan came sprinting out of nowhere and hopped up to eat them, and Brendon scratched him behind the ears, cooing softly. 

 

“Give her my love,” Will said. 

 

“Gaaaaay,” Brendon replied.  Will flicked him hard on the ear and laughed as he ran out of the apartment, bag over his shoulder and piece of pizza half in his mouth.  He heard Jon shouting groggily for them to ‘Shut up, puppies!’ sounding mostly asleep.  Brendon flipped him off, and Will smiled and slammed the door extra hard behind him, just for Jon.  

  
  


…

  
  


Ryan hadn’t been in the mood to hang out, which was fine with Brendon, honestly.  He understood not feeling great.  Ryan had said the night before that he’d be cool to hang out on Sunday, but he’d changed his mind, and that was fine.  It just left Brendon without plans for the day. 

 

Bored with wandering around town in the cold and looking at Halloween decorations, he walked back to the apartment and decided to try and dig up some sort of costume in his closet.  Halloween costumes were best when they were homemade, and Brendon had every intention of making Sarah and Will go trick or treating with him.  He wanted to invite Ryan too, but Ryan was still a secret, and something told Brendon that he wouldn’t be into that sort of thing.  Ryan acted too grown up for trick or treating. 

 

Ryan was a mystery, and Brendon still couldn’t say with 100% certainty that they were friends.  Half the time they were around each other, Ryan acted like he didn’t even like him.  Brendon was determined though, and this would all work out in the end.  Whatever this was.  He didn’t actually have a goal, just his stubbornness.  

 

Maybe he didn’t want to tell anyone else about Ryan yet either.  It was cool having a secret friend.  It felt like he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be.  Also, Brendon didn’t know anything to be fact, but he had a feeling that Ryan was doing a lot of things he wasn’t supposed to be, too.  Brendon wasn’t sure what it was yet, but Ryan always acted like he was in some huge amount of trouble.  Brendon couldn’t even begin to imagine what that might be, but he hoped one day Ryan would be willing to tell him. 

 

When they were actually, certainly, 100% friends, that was. 

 

Brendon was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized he’d made it back to the apartment until he was unlocking the door and pushing it open.  He called out a ‘I’m home!’ as he stepped inside and shrugged his jacket, but it was only halfway off when he froze because Spencer was yelling “Fuck!” and Jon was falling off the couch and then Spencer was running out of the room, and Brendon had no idea what was going on.  

 

Jon had been sitting on Spencer, and they’d been… what?  Now Jon was on the floor, eyes wide and mouth way redder than it should have been normally, hair all messed up.  He was blushing furiously.  Brendon didn’t want to think about how the apartment smelled like they’d been minutes away from sex, right there on the couch no less.  That was public property in the apartment.  Not cool.  

 

“Um,” he said, which he’d probably said ten times already.  He wasn’t sure.  Jon scrambled to his feet. 

 

“Bren.  Brendon, this has to stay a secret, okay?  It’s not what it looks like, but you  _ can’t tell anyone _ .”  He drew the words out slowly and carefully, and he looked like he was seconds away from absolutely losing it.  Brendon didn’t know how to help, so he just nodded dumbly.  That must have been the signal Jon was waiting for, because he immediately turned and ran to his and Spencer’s room.  He was probably going to calm Spencer down.  Brendon could hear him growling and kicking things behind the closed door.  

 

Wow.  Just wow. 

 

After a moment to collect this thoughts, Brendon pulled his jacket back on and walked right back out of the apartment.  He had to go find Will and tell him, because if he kept this -this what?  What were Spencer and Jon even  _ doing _ ?- to himself, he’d probably implode.  

 

Besides, Will deserved to know.  They’d been defiling the  _ couch _ .  Public property.  Not cool.  

 

Jon and Spencer… wow.  

 

Will only worked for a few hours on Sunday, so he should have been out of work.  He wasn’t answering his phone though, and Brendon felt like this wasn’t the sort of information to share over text.  He resigned himself to sitting at the skate park and watching as the few kids who didn’t mind the cold rolled around.  He wanted to go get his own board, but Spencer and Jon wouldn’t want to be interrupted again.  

 

He sat around and waited for Will to call him back.  He waited until the sun started to go down, and then he decided that if Jon and Spencer weren’t done talking by then, they’d have to suck it up.  He was freezing his ass off outside.  

 

Brendon spent dinner pretending that he hadn’t walked in on whatever he’d walked in on earlier, which was about as awkward as it possibly could be.  Will didn’t show up for dinner, which was a bummer, but not a huge surprise.  Brendon would have to wait to tell him.  

 

Jon and Spencer… well damn.  

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so it says twelve chapters, but that's just a rough estimate. we're getting there though. 
> 
> comments are great (please)!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on wolf!verse:   
> At the end of last chapter Brendon told Will he was going to hang out with Sarah (lies) and then walked in on Jon and Spencer passionately making out on the couch, and he had every intention of telling Will all about it. Now we deal with that, and twenty-five pages of... other....... things...........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm what should we do today, guys?   
> Will: make some poor life choices probably.   
> Good idea! Let's get to it then!   
> Will: *rubs hands together mischievously* 
> 
> That's for you, Mia^ 
> 
> this chapter is brought to you by the overuse of the word 'sir,' an unfortunate lack of a parental figure, and family bonding.

_“They’re all acting weird.I don’t know.”_

 

_“The place we have to be concerned is when people are hiding their feelings about something.Especially if they’re negative feelings.Do you guys fight a lot?”_

 

_“No?I mean. Sometimes.Not really, though.”_

 

_“They’re just acting weird?”_

 

_“I don’t know.Everyone seems tense lately, I guess.”_

 

_“How about we keep an eye on it, and if it’s something you want to talk to them about, I’ll help you figure out what to say?”_

 

_“Okay… that’s.Yeah, alright.”_

 

_…_

 

When Longineu asked what time Will got off work that Sunday, Will didn’t expect it to mean he’d show up to walk Will home.He also didn’t expect Longineu to remember the ‘no fraternizing at work’ rule, and he was utterly surprised when Longineu strolled around the shop for half an hour, not giving Will a second glance and acting like he’d never seen him before in his life. 

 

Longineu was the best kind-of-boyfriend ever.At least Will thought so until he made it outside after work and found Longineu lounging on a park bench, which was when Longineu started laughing his ass off. 

 

“Finding everything alright, _sir_?” Longineu mocked, and then burst into a fit of laughter.Will glared at him and walked right on down the sidewalk, but Longineu quickly vaulted himself off the bench and ran after him. 

 

“Would you like a bag, _sir?_ ” Longineu taunted, hanging off of Will’s shoulders.“This case is cracked.I’m going to discount it for you, _sir_.”Longineu stole Will’s hat off of his head and ruffled his hair, efficiently ruining it.“Subtle, Key.Very subtle.” 

 

“Are you about done, _sir_?” Will asked through gritted teeth, snatching his hat back.Longineu pressed a quick, frozen kiss to Will’s cheek, immediately offending an elderly woman passing them on the sidewalk. 

 

“Oh baby,” Longineu murmured.“You can call me ‘sir’ any time.”He bit at Will’s ear, and Will shoved him off, resolve breaking as he started to laugh. 

 

“I’m going to tie you up and leave you somewhere,” he threatened, tugging his hat back onto his head and shaking a finger at Longineu.It was immediately caught, and Longineu threaded their fingers together and swung their hands as they walked. 

 

“I’m starting to worry about these wild fetishes of yours. Next you’re going to tell me you’re a furry.” 

 

Will’s laughter died in his throat, and he glanced sideways to get a look at Longineu, who was still laughing.Brushing off his paranoia, Will tried to pick his smile back up and act as if that brief moment of panic hadn’t happened, hoping it would go unnoticed.It didn’t.

 

Longineu laughed harder.“Alright, now I’m even more worried.You’re not actually a furry, right?” 

 

Will choked on air, biting back a scoff and knocking his shoulder against Longineu’s.“No,” he said.“Definitely not.” 

 

“Somehow I don’t believe you.”If there were a perfect time to come out to someone as a werewolf, it would have been that moment.As it was, Will had absolutely no intentions of doing that.For one, Spencer would find out and promptly murder him.Then he’d tell Zack, who would probably fly in all the way from Pennsylvania and to murder him a second time.And Jon would make that face at him, the really disappointed one that said, ‘I thought you knew better,’ and would try to have a weird talk. 

 

On the worse end of the ‘spectrum of consequences,’ Longineu might never talk to him again, or someone would actually, literally murder him right then and there and mount his head above their fireplace.

 

Will didn’t want his head above anybody’s fireplace, so he didn’t have to weigh his options very carefully.The scale was rigged.That didn’t stop the fleeting thought of ‘tell him!’ that flew through his head, though, which Will blinked away and decided to ignore forever.Because no, just no.It was a bad idea. 

 

He wouldn’t have had time to, anyways, because while Longineu was still cracking up over the furry idea, Will heard someone calling his name.He stopped and looked in the direction of the voice, picking up Sarah’s scent before spotting the windblown girl running towards them. 

 

Her coat was open, and she was wearing a ridiculous skeleton hoodie underneath that Will was sure he’d heard Brendon talking about the other day.Something about a ‘Goodwill extravaganza!’ that Will hadn’t listened very closely to.She had a hat on, but her hair was spilling out underneath it.Her face was red from the cold.Snowflakes were starting to fall, tiny and dried up, but still present.This weather was stupid for Halloween.The next moon was going to suck.

 

“Dude!” Sarah shouted, coming to a skidding stop next to them.“You’re off work already? I was coming to visit!” 

 

“Just got off,” Will said.“Not much good in store right now, anyways.New shipment in on Tuesday.” 

 

Sarah nodded and adjusted her coat, hunkering down a bit.“Ah, cool.” 

 

“Where’s Brendon?” Will asked. He took his and Longineu’s attached hands and shoved them into his coat pocket to warm up.It felt like his fingers were going to fall off.At the same time, his palm was unfortunately sweaty.The world was unfair. 

 

“How should I know?He’s your roommate,” she teased.

 

Will wrinkled his nose up and frowned at her.“I thought you guys were doing a school thing today?”She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side. 

 

“Um, no…?” she said.“I haven’t seen him since school on Friday.Why?Is he okay?” She didn’t wait for an answer before saying, “I’m going to text him.” 

 

She patted at her pockets until locating her phone and pulling it out, typing away as soon as it was free. 

 

Will shook his head.“Nah, he’s fine.My mistake.” 

 

“He texted me a meme,” she replied, rolling her eyes at her phone.“He sent me a picture of a frog.Like an actual frog.I don’t think he understands how the ‘rare pepe’ thing is supposed to work.” 

 

“He thinks he’s being ‘ironic,’” Will said, making air quotes with one free hand.“I don’t know.It is kind of funny.” 

 

Longineu piped up, “Send him back a turtle,” and Sarah’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.She tapped away at her phone, and it buzzed again.

 

“My dad’s threatening to leave without me,” Sarah said, frowning at her phone.“I gotta go.I’ll see you at school tomorrow though!”Sarah punched Will on the shoulder before she ran back off down the street, and Will and Longineu watched her go, strolling casually behind. 

 

“Back to my place?” Longineu offered.“We can grab the basement before my brother does.” 

 

“Movie marathon?” Will asked.Longineu beamed. 

 

“Fuck yeah.We’re starting with Space Balls.” 

 

Will let out a long groan, showing off his distaste with that by stomping his feet and whining until Longineu laughed and physically dragged him off down the sidewalk. Longineu went into his well-practiced spiel about how the movie was an amazing work of satire that Will didn’t appreciate enough, and Will only half listened, contemplating their run in with Sarah.If Brendon wasn’t with her today, then where the hell was he?It wouldn’t have mattered, except that he’d explicitly said he’d be with Sarah.If he was lying, then he had to be hiding something, and the last secret he’d had wasn’t exactly healthy. 

 

Will couldn’t help but be a little worried, but Longineu wanted his attention now, and Will was more than eager to give it to him.He fired off a text to Spencer, telling him he was sleeping at Longineu’s and not to wait up for him, then turned his phone off before Spencer could reply.He’d probably have something to say about it being “a school night,” and Will didn’t want to hear it.He sprawled out on the couch and let Longineu put in his stupid space movies, content with settling in and staying there for the rest of the night. 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

“Where have you been?” was the first thing Will asked when he entered their room after school on Monday.Brendon thought that was a little weird, considering Will was the one who disappeared for the last thirty-six hours, but whatever. 

 

“Um, school?” he asked, kicking his shoes off and sprawling out on his bed.He needed to clean their room.Spencer had left a _note_ , and a note was just one step away from a _discussion_ , and if Brendon had to sit through another lecture about drowning in his own filth he was going to kill himself. 

 

He was seriously supposed to stop joking about that. 

 

“Dude,” he said.“You won’t believe what happened yesterday-”

 

“You said you were hanging out with Sarah yesterday,” Will interrupted.Brendon sighed and rolled his eyes, because yeah, he had, but now he had an important story to tell him, and Will was acting all weird.“I saw her at the record store.Said she hadn’t seen you.” 

 

Brendon bit his lip and looked in the other direction, trying to come up with a makeshift excuse for lying.“Oh, um…” 

 

“Where were you?” Will asked. 

 

“Why do you care?” Brendon countered.“At least I came home, unlike _someone_.” 

 

“Oh chill out.I texted Spencer.”

 

“Speaking of Spencer-” 

 

Will interrupted, yet again, and Brendon sighed loudly, trying to make a point.“Are you hanging out with Shane again?”

 

Brendon cringed.“Ew, what?No.” 

 

“Then why’d you lie about it?” 

 

“I didn’t lie about anything!” Brendon lied, and well.That was ironic.Unimportant though, because he had _news_ if Will would just cooperate. 

 

In some spurt of bad luck, Brendon’s phone started ringing on the bed next to him.Brendon saw the name ‘Ryan </3’ and immediately flipped his phone over, screen down.“Who’s that?” Will asked. 

 

“Nobody,” Brendon blurted out guiltily, sealing his own tomb right there.He didn’t move to pick pick up his phone.Will raised an eyebrow and made a grab for it, and Brendon quickly snatched it away from him, holding it away at arm’s length.

 

“Let me see!” 

 

“No!” Brendon yelled. 

 

“Give it here!” Will yelled back, wrestling Brendon for it.Brendon fought as best he could, holding on tight and trying to keep it away from Will while also keeping him from seeing the screen, because once Will saw the heart, he’d never let it go.Ryan was still a _secret._ Brendon was allowed to have secrets, okay? 

 

They toppled onto Brendon’s bed and continued fighting over it.The phone stopped ringing at some point, and Brendon hoped that meant Ryan was done trying to call, not that he’d accidentally answered.Whichever it was, Brendon kept his phone clamped tight in his hand and held it as far away from himself as possible.He was hanging half off the bed, and if Will wasn’t sitting on ( _crushing)_ his hips, they both would have gone tumbling to the floor.He also had his hand planted in the middle of Brendon’s face. 

 

That was, of course, when Spencer walked in.He was in his work clothes, tie undone and hanging limply out of his pants pocket.The bags under his eyes were huge, and honestly kind of impressive.If they’d been real bags they’d be Gucci, but that was just Brendon’s opinion.Spencer was clutching a Starbucks cup in his hand with Jon’s handwriting on the side spelling out ‘asshole,’ and he looked just about dead on his feet.Also confused. 

 

“Do I want to know?” he asked.Both Will and Brendon had frozen in that position, and they both said nothing, staring at Spencer with wide eyes and sealed lips.Spencer waited a long minute, then nodded. 

 

“Okay then,” he said, took a sip of his coffee, and turned to leave.“I’m going to call Zack.” 

 

He left the door open behind him, and Will hollered, “You’re still doing that then!?” before Brendon took advantage of him being distracted and bit down on the hand smooshing his face.

 

“He’d kill me if I didn’t!” Spencer yelled back. 

 

Will yelped and grabbed onto Brendon’s hair and tugged.Brendon flailed around so much that he managed to dislodge Will and send him crashing to the floor.He sat up, victorious, phone still clutched in hand. 

 

“Tell him I say hi!” Brendon yelled.Will pounced up and tackled Brendon, throwing them off the opposite side of the bed and onto the floor.Downstairs, their neighbors started banging on the ceiling with a broom handle.It made the floor shake. 

 

“Tell him Brendon’s dead!” Will added.“I killed him!” 

 

“ _Um, hello?”_ a voice asked through the tinny speaker of the cell phone.“ _Brendon?”_  

 

Will grabbed for the phone again, and Brendon threw it across the room in a last ditch effort at keeping his secret.They both watched as it flew through the air and then crashed into the wall, popping apart into three pieces instantly.Brendon grinned up at Will as cheekily as he could.“Suck it,” he said. 

 

“You’re a brat,” Will replied, getting off of Brendon and going to pick up the pieces, probably.It shouldn’t have been broken, at least, Brendon hoped it wasn’t.It was an old slide phone and those things were pretty durable.If it was broken, it wasn’t like he used it _that_ much anyways.It’d be fine. 

 

From his own room, Spencer shouted, “You’re both brats!Be quiet!” Will responded by going into the living room and turning the TV volume up as loud as he could.Brendon laughed, picking Dylan up when he scrambled into the room to hide, and crossed to Will’s side of the room to save his cellphone.So Ryan had definitely just heard all of that go down.At least Brendon would have to explain it to him later, and that would give them something to talk about.

 

He didn’t want Ryan to get bored with him before they ever actually became friends.He was working on that.He hoped for the best. 

 

…

 

 

When Jon got off work and texted Spencer, the responding text said ‘gym,’ and Jon had just enough restless energy from eight hours of coffee filled boredom to make it work.He walked the short distance from the Starbucks to Tommy’s gym and left himself inside, bell on the door handle jingling as he did so.“Hey!” he called out. 

 

Tommy wasn’t at his desk, and the place was empty save for a quiet thumping sound coming from the back.“Hey!” Spencer’s voice called back.Jon stuck his hands in his pockets and followed the sound. 

 

Spencer was at a punching bag, which wasn’t something especially new.Spencer hated running more than anyone Jon knew, even Jon himself, and there were only so many options for cardio when you took that off the table.Cardio, if Jon remembered correctly from Zack’s lectures, was the entire fucking point.Jon didn’t know.He wasn’t an alpha, and learning how to control the wolf half of him had been nearly effortless. 

 

But yeah, cardio.Whatever. 

 

Spencer had worked up a solid sweat, and Jon had to let himself appreciate it a little.“What are you doing?” he asked, and Spencer finally paused, leaning against the bag and raising an eyebrow. 

 

“Exercising?” he said. 

 

“No, I mean….” Jon waved his hand at the bag, and Spencer’s eyebrow went up farther. 

 

“Punching?” he quipped. 

 

“You’re such a pain. _Why_ punching?” Jon asked. 

 

“It’s fun,” Spencer said.“No, I don’t know.I was thinking about those dickheads in the woods.If they try to start something again, I want to be ready for it, y’know.” 

 

Jon frowned and crossed his arms, leaning back against a bag next to the one Spencer was using.“Ready for it?” he asked. 

 

“If they try and fight us again,” Spencer said.“They think they can just push us around, and I’m kind of sick of it.” 

 

Jon saw where this was going, and he had to scrub his hand through his hair before he said something stupid.“That… might not be the best idea,” he said eventually.Spencer frowned at him.He was breathing heavy from exertion, and Jon watched as a single bead of sweat rolled down his temple.Spencer swiped at it. 

 

“Why not?” 

 

Jon had to take another moment to think, wondering how to best explain these sort of politics to someone who’d never been faced with them before.Growing up in Chicago, in his mom’s pack, Jon had seen packs face off before, fighting for power or territory.It was always a mess, a total disaster that left people bloody and broken, one Alpha victorious and the other humiliated.His mom didn’t get involved in those fights, maintaining status through sheer power of presence alone.Nobody messed with his mom, nobody even tried, because they knew better.Still, other packs -less wise packs- had gone at each other, and it was never pretty. 

 

This wasn’t Chicago, of course, and things were different out here.Pack tension wouldn’t be handled like gang wars, but Spencer didn’t know that in some places they _were_.Maybe this other pack was aware of that.Jon didn’t want to see this turn ugly. 

 

Jon explained that to Spencer the best that he could, recalling a fight he’d seen when he was younger, something that the adults had quickly pulled him away from, his mother and the other grown wolves in the pack stepping forward like a barrier without getting involved.Keeping everyone safe. 

 

“It’s best to just not…” Jon finally said. 

 

“You don’t think I can handle myself?” Spencer asked, voice pissy.Jon grimaced. 

 

“Against a pack that’s bigger than ours and full grown?” Jon offered.“No.I don’t.Not even Zack could, alright?It’s… It’s more trouble than it’s worth, Spence.We need to find a different way to handle this.” 

 

Spencer sighed quietly, admitting defeat, which Jon was more than grateful for.He nodded a bit and glanced up at Jon.“It’s really like that then?In Chicago?” 

 

“Sometimes,” Jon said.He shrugged idly.He leaned in a bit.“I just don’t want you getting hurt.” 

 

“Whoa hey,” a third voice joined the party, startling the both of them.Jon and Spencer both jumped back and turned wide eyed to Tommy, who was standing there with his hands ups.“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, shooting Jon a suggestive look.“I’ll just-”He hurried off to the back, and Jon turned his attention to Spencer, who was blushing wildly. 

 

“I’m gonna go shower,” Spencer said, and all but ran off to do so.Jon slumped back against the punching bag and groaned deep in this throat, rubbing his hands over his face and wondering what kind of mess he’d let himself get into.

 

 

…

 

 

Trick-or-treat had been officially over for several hours now.Will had tagged along with Brendon and Sarah, dragging Longineu with him, but they’d dispersed around the end of it at nine o’clock.Now it was just after midnight, and while they had made it back to Longineu’s house over an hour ago, they were hungry and had set off in search of food. 

 

Longineu argued that curfew was at eleven, but Will knew it was unlikely they’d actually get in trouble for it.Nobody enforced the curfew anyways.It wouldn’t be a problem.

 

Finally set at ease, Longineu had switched to complaining about his home life. Will listened as he rambled on and blew hot breath into his hands to keep them warm.“I mean,” Longineu continued.“I love my family.Don’t get me wrong, they’re great and all.But all four of us in one house is just crazy.There’s only two bedrooms, man.We’re in each other’s space _all the time_ and I swear, I’m gonna snap one of these days.” 

 

“You do know I share an apartment with three other people, right?” Will asked. 

 

“Your apartment has three bedrooms,” Longineu reminded him.Will had to stop and wonder why they hadn’t taken advantage of that third bedroom after Zack moved out.He didn’t really mind sharing with Brendon, and Jon and Spencer must have not minded either, because nobody did anything about it.Still. 

 

“I’m gonna move out one of these days, man.My aunt has a loft over her garage, and she said I can have it as soon as I’m eighteen.Just might take her up on it.”Will nodded along and rubbed at his arms.He’d forgotten his hoodie back at Longineu’s, and he felt like an absolute idiot.Longineu kept offering Will his own jacket, but Will was not that much of a girl.He’d suffer like a man, damn it. 

 

The 7-Eleven they were walking to -the only one in the area that was open twenty-four hours- was only a couple blocks away at that point.Will had dreams of hot chocolate and pizza rolls, and he was so excited that for a moment he thought he could smell the garlic. 

 

But then that moment didn’t pass, and Will’s blood turned to ice, freezing him thoroughly. 

 

He wasn’t imagining the smell.He was smelling it, garlic everywhere, and then his nose prickled from a whiff of wolfsbane, and he stopped walking altogether. 

 

“And like honestly, I-”

 

“Sh!” Will snapped, grabbing Longineu’s arm and stopping him. 

 

“What are you-”

 

“Sh!” He clutched on to Longineu’s jacket, overcome with panic, and whipped his head around desperately trying to locate the smell.It wouldn’t go away, and it was close, but it was overwhelming everything else.He couldn’t hear anything but Longineu’s breathing and heartbeat.He couldn’t smell anything but the garlic.He could practically feel the scars on his arm and his chest burn in recollection of the last hunters he’d bumped into, and just like that, his fight or flight reflexes set in. 

 

“We have to go,” he whispered, voice frantic. 

 

“What?” Longineu asked, full volume.“Why?”

 

Will heard something moving.He panicked.“We have to go _now!_ ” he demanded, grabbing Longineu’s arm around the wrist and taking off running back to his house, dragging Longineu behind him as he went.Longineu scrambled along desperately, obviously still confused but no longer voicing it.He had a hard time keeping up, but Will couldn’t make himself slow down.If there were hunters around Will wouldn’t be able to protect himself, let alone both of them. There wasn’t anyone around to protect them either.The pack was all the way across town, and who knew how fast Pete could get there, if he was even paying attention, if he could even stand a chance against hunters. 

 

They sprinted as fast as they could, and panic was choking out all of Will’s senses.He didn’t know if they were being followed, and he wasn’t even sure they were going in the right direction.He just ran as fast as he could and held onto Longineu, shoes pounding hard against the pavement and sweat running down his face. He was overheating in the freezing October air.

 

They rounded a corner.Will darted into the crosswalk without looking, and the next thing he knew there was a car horn blaring and they were jumping out of the way.Will tripped and fell, practically skidding on the ground.He didn’t know what he was doing, just that there was a loose piece of pavement from a pothole under his hand, and then he was standing up and chucking it at the car, yelling “Fucking watch it!” 

 

There was a sickening ‘crack!’The headlights went off, and the driver’s door popped open.In a horrifying turn for the worst, a man stepped out of the car and Will saw his police badge glistening proudly on his chest. 

 

“Oh fuck,” he whimpered, then shoved at Longineu’s arm.“Go!” he said.“Run!” 

 

Longineu looked between Will and the cop before he took off full speed towards his house, and Will would have run after him, but somebody needed to take the blame.The cop wouldn’t chase Longineu if Will stayed behind. 

 

“Put your hands up!” the cop yelled.Will cringed and did as he was told, raising his hands above his head and closing his eyes with a long sigh.He’d really done it this time, but if the cop was there the hunters wouldn’t dare touch him, and they were close enough to Longineu’s house that he should have gotten home just fine. 

 

What a mess, Will thought to himself.The pizza rolls were _so_ not worth it. 

 

 

… 

 

 

The dark peace of the living room was split open when Spencer’s phone went off, lighting up and ringing too loud.He shifted sleepily, cracking his back in the process of reaching for it.Dylan abandoned his lap, annoyed by Spencer’s movement, and settled down with Jon instead.Jon glanced over, tearing his eyes away from the TV briefly before turning back to it.There was a Nightmare on Elm Street marathon going on that Spencer wasn’t enjoying with any particular vigor.He’d never liked horror movies and couldn’t figure out why Jon always insisted on them.It was Halloween, though, so Spencer had given in “for the spirit.”He really didn’t mind being interrupted. 

 

His phone displayed the words ‘unknown number’ but gave the local area code, so Spencer shrugged and lounged back against the couch as he answered the call.“Hello?” he asked. 

 

The voice on the other end of the phone call replied, “I’m calling for Spencer Smith.”Their tone was very serious and it caught Spencer’s attention, somehow making him feel like he was in trouble here even though he hadn’t done anything all night. 

 

He frowned a bit and said, “This is he…” with a touch of hesitation.Something in Spencer’s head was screaming _‘they know!’_ even though Spencer wasn’t sure what they could know, or why they would be calling him at one a.m. to tell him they knew. 

 

“Mr. Smith, this is Officer Sanchez.We have William Key down here, he said this was the number to call to contact his family.”Spencer stood up instantly and pressed a hand to his face, making himself take deep, slow breaths. 

 

“Yeah, that’s-” he cut himself off, trying to figure out how to handle this and sound like an adult while doing so.“This is the right number.What happened?” 

 

“We’d be more than happy to discuss that in person when you come pick him up from the police station.” 

 

“Yes sir, of course.I’ll be right there,” Spencer said, voice even as he kicked out at the couch in frustration, moving it back a few feet.Dylan hissed quietly and ran off, and Jon just looked up at him confused. 

 

“Drive safe now,” Officer Sanchez said, then hung up Spencer locked his phone and used every ounce of his willpower to not hurtle it at the wall. 

 

“Son of a _bitch!_ ” he snapped. 

 

“What?” Jon asked. 

 

“Is everything okay?” Spencer looked up and saw Brendon and Sarah peeking in from the hallway.They’d gone out for Halloween earlier, and Sarah was spending the night.They’d retired to Brendon’s room a little over an hour ago.Spencer felt kinda bad for waking them up, but….

 

“Jon, I need you to drive Sarah home,” Spencer said, going to the door and shoving shoes on. 

 

“What, why?” Brendon asked.Jon turned the TV off as he stood up, then went over to the wall and flicked the light on. 

 

“What’s going on?” Jon asked.

 

Spencer held up his phone, shaking it a bit to relieve some of the tension bubbling under his skin.“Just got a call from the police station,” he announced.“Guess who.”

 

Jon clapped a hand over his eyes, squeezing his temples, and muttered, “God damn it, Will….” 

 

“Yeah,” Spencer snapped.“Sarah doesn’t need to be here for that conversation.Take her home.”To his relief, Sarah nodded and headed back to Brendon’s room, probably to get her stuff together.At least there was one person around here that listened to him. 

 

“The station’s too far for you to walk this late at night,” Jon argued.“Take Sarah with you and then pick up WIll.He can wait a while. Not like he’s going anywhere.” 

 

Spencer nodded and forced himself to slow down a bit, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.Jon was right.Spencer didn’t really want to walk all the way across town.It’d take forever, and it was damn cold outside.“Okay,” he said. “You’re right.He can wait.”It would do him some good to wait.Keep the brat in time out for a while, and give Spencer a chance to chill out before he killed him. 

 

“What’d he do?” Brendon asked.He’d picked up Dylan and was holding him in his arms.Dylan looked pissed off by the entire situation, if the way he was flicking his tail around was any indication, but Brendon kept him pressed tight to his chest and was nuzzling him gently, trying to calm him down.It wasn’t working. 

 

“Don’t know yet,” Spencer said.“But he won’t be doing it again.” 

 

Sarah came out of Brendon’s room, coat on and bag thrown over her shoulder.“Are you gonna kill him?” she asked.Spencer grabbed the car keys off the hook and rolled his eyes. 

 

“No,” he said. 

 

“Does this mean if I get arrested I can call you to pick me up, too?” 

 

“Please don’t get arrested,” he said with an exasperated sigh.He was starting to understand why Zack acted the way he did.He would call to apologize, but he had a feeling Zack would never let him live that down.“Let’s go.Jon, hold the fort down.” 

 

“Aye aye, cap’n,” Jon replied as he threw himself back on the couch.Spencer rolled his eyes and headed out the door, Sarah trooping along behind him. 

 

 

…

 

 

There were three people in the police station when Spencer got there.The streets had been empty, no people in sight and only a handful of cars driving around.The streets were littered with candy wrappers and bottle rocket shells, and Halloween decorations covered everything, looking worn down and less exciting now that the holiday had passed.They were creeping Spencer out a bit, honestly, so he’d made himself only focus on the road as he drove to the station. 

 

“Mr. Smith?” the officer behind the desk asked.His voice matched the one on the phone.He must have been Officer Sanchez.

 

“Yes sir,” he said, though he couldn’t tell if it would be more grown up to not call the officer ‘sir.’It was respectful, though, and that was probably the most important thing here.He’d figure the rest out later.“You called about my brother?” 

 

“Well shit,” another voice called out from behind Spencer, making him just about jump out of his skin.Another officer, this one much older than Officer Sanchez, came out of a small office and looked Spencer over with his hands on his hips. 

 

“I knew I recognized that kid from somewhere.You’re in that one family….You’re Zack’s boy, aren’t you?” Spencer turned to the man and nodded. 

 

“Yes sir, I am.” 

 

“Shame he had to leave town, but it’s impressive you got custody.How old are you, boy?” The officer, whose badge read Williams, came over and shook Spencer’s hand.He had a strong handshake, and his hands were rough.He was a good bit shorter than Spencer himself, and his hair was thinning while his stomach was filling out impressively. 

 

“Nineteen,” he replied, hating to admit it because this guy was already talking to him like he was a kid.Admitting he wasn’t even twenty years old yet could only make that worse.True enough, Officer Williams let out a long whistle.“I don’t really have custody…” Spencer explained.“Zack’s still Will’s guardian and all, but the court said I could take care of him when Zack had to move.” 

 

Well, the court that was Pete Wentz said that.Spencer didn’t understand most of the things that man did, but he was grateful for it even though he didn’t know the specifics.It sure would be nice to know the specifics in a time like this.

 

“I can’t say I agree with Zack’s choice to leave you boys here, but we all have decisions to make,” Officer Williams said.He paused and fixed Spencer with a look, and once again it was Spencer who felt like he was in trouble.“This is the third time we’ve had William in here, y’know.We didn’t put this on his record, because we like to try and keep young people out of trouble around here, but his three warnings are up.If he’s in here again, it’s going to be serious.You understand that, right?” 

 

Spencer tried not to look visibly intimidated as he nodded.“Yes, I understand.” 

 

Officer Williams nodded back.“Good.You make sure he understands it, too, you got me?” 

 

“Yes sir.” 

 

Williams looked Spencer over once more before waving an arm out, apparently signaling Officer Sanchez to come out of the back with Will.Spencer had been expecting Will to be beat up again, bleeding or bruised somewhere from getting into another fight.He looked surprisingly fine, if a bit tired.Spencer was relieved. 

 

“You want to tell your brother what got you here tonight?” Officer Williams asked Will, who scowled down at the floor and didn’t say anything.There were remnants of orange and black paint still clinging to his face, around his eyes and near his hair, but a lot of it had been smudged off.Spencer remembered Will talking about him and Longineu going as jack-o-lanterns. 

 

When it was obvious that Will wasn’t talking, Officer Sanchez took over.“He was out past curfew,” he said.“And he darted across the street when I found him.Threw a rock at my car.Smashed the windshield.” 

 

“You did _what!?_ ” Spencer snapped, mouth falling open. 

 

“It was an accident….” Will grumbled.Spencer was tempted to strangle him then and there. 

 

He addressed the officers instead. ““I’ll pay for the damage to your car.I am so sorry about this-” 

 

“Don’t worry about the money,” Officer Sanchez said.“Just make sure this kind of thing doesn’t happen again.” 

 

Spencer gritted his teeth and shot Will a look.“It won’t.” 

 

“The curfew is only in place to keep our kids safe, y’know,” Officer Williams added.“There’s some questionable characters running around.What with this werewolf nonsense, well, you’d have to be dumb to not know we have activity around here.It’s a damn shame, but there’s nothing to do about those types.” 

 

_Those types_.Spencer kept any emotion that might betray them off his face as he agreed.“Of course,” he said.“It’s important people stay safe.I think it’d be best if we got home now.” 

 

Officer Sanchez went over to the desk he’d been sitting at earlier and pulled out a clipboard.“I just need you to sign here for me,” he said.After doing that, and a few words of warning from Officer Williams to Will, they were free to go.Spencer let Will sulk out to the car and followed behind him.He waited until the car doors were closed and the engine was started before snapping. 

 

“What the _hell_ were you thinking?” 

 

“It was an _accident_ ,” Will repeated, reaching out and turning the radio on.Spencer smacked his away and turned it back off. 

 

“You accidentally threw a rock at a car?” Spencer asked.“A police car? Dude!” 

 

“Yes!” Will shouted.“I accidentally threw a rock at a police car, okay? After he almost ran me over!”

 

“What were you even doing out that late?” Spencer demanded.He checked over his shoulder and pulled the car out of its space, starting the drive home.“Put your seatbelt on,” he reminded, because while he felt like he wanted to kill the kid, he didn’t actually want to, and their luck was bad enough that Spencer wouldn’t be surprised by a car accident on a nearly empty street during a ten minute drive. 

 

Will clicked the belt into place and grumbled something, not actual intelligible words, under his breath.Spencer sighed out loud.

 

“You said you were staying over at Longineu’s.” 

 

“I _was_.But we hadn’t gotten there yet, okay?” 

 

“Is this what you two do?You run around town all night every time you say you’re staying with him?” Spencer asked.He was gripping the steering wheel tight enough that his knuckles were white and he was probably bending the plastic under his grip. 

 

“No,” Will snapped.“Just tonight.” 

 

“Not sure I believe you,” Spencer replied.“Though why should I, honestly?You got _arrested._ _Again!_ ” 

 

“It’s not like I’m trying to!” Will yelled. 

 

“Well you’re not trying very hard _not_ to!” Spencer snapped back.Will crossed his arms and glared out the passenger window.Spencer gritted his teeth and forced a growl back down his throat.“Look,” he started again.“Whatever this is, it can’t keep happening.We’re lucky that nobody has tried to do anything about our situation yet, okay?But if you keep pulling this shit, they might!I don’t know how much Pete has done, but I’m sure that he can’t keep you safe from everything.You want child services to come take you away?To take Brendon away?Because they fucking might.” 

 

“They will not,” Will grumbled.“I’m nearly eighteen, remember?” 

 

“They can still try,” Spencer said.“And even more, Will.You’re almost eighteen.You should know better!” 

 

“Oh yeah, I should know better than to _almost get hit by a car_!” 

 

“You wouldn’t have almost gotten hit by a car if you’d been where you said you were going to be,” Spencer scolded.“Or running across the street, apparently. What the hell?” 

 

“Ever think maybe I was running _from_ something?” Will snapped.“If you’d calm down I’d be able to tell you!” 

 

Spencer sighed.They reached a red light, which was irritating considering there wasn’t anybody else on the streets.Spencer dropped his forehead against the steering wheel and shut his eyes. 

 

“What were you running from, William?” Spencer gave, considering banging his head against the wheel and making the horn blare.

 

“I smelled garlic,” Will said.“Like a lot of it?And it freaked me out, okay?After last time… and there was wolfsbane, too.And Longineu didn’t know what was going on, but I panicked and was just trying to get back to his place as fast as possible.” 

 

Spencer picked his head up to look at Will, then noticed the light was green and drove forward.“You’re not lying?” he asked.

 

“I wouldn’t lie about this shit.It freaked me out, okay?” Will was giving Spencer the biggest set up puppy dog eyes he’d ever seen, rivalling Brendon’s.Spencer nodded a bit. 

 

“Okay,” he said quietly.“That’s why I don’t want you out at night.Besides your knack for getting in trouble.”He shot a glare at Will, who instantly turned his guilty expression towards the window.“Officer Williams is right.It’s not safe out there.” 

 

“He said it’s not safe because of _us_ ,” Will pointed out. 

 

“Officer Williams is old and ignorant,” Spencer replied.“But still.It’s dangerous.I don’t want anything bad happening to you, so just.Try to think a little.” 

 

He parked the car in their spot outside the apartment building, and they stayed there a moment after he shut the car off, feeling the heat seep out of the car as the cold crept in.Will wasn’t wearing a jacket -of course he wasn’t- and he shivered. 

 

“Thanks for picking me up,” he murmured. 

 

Spencer nodded.“Not gonna just leave you there.C’mon, let’s go inside.”Will popped his door open and climbed out, and Spencer reached into the backseat for a hoodie he’d left back there a while ago.He got out of the car and tossed the sweatshirt to Will, who tugged it on with a grateful smile.Both boys headed inside and trudged up the five flights of stairs to their apartment.The elevator was broken again. 

 

Inside, Jon and Brendon were both up and sitting around the kitchen table.Jon was holding a cup of coffee in his hands, and Brendon was chewing idly on a Red Vine, one leg bent up and hugged to his chest, the other bouncing sporadically under the table.He really shouldn’t have been eating sugar this late.

 

The moment they walked in, Jon set down his cup and sprang up from the table.“What happened?” he demanded, looking Will over first, then turning his attention to Spencer, then changing his mind again and crossing his arms at Will.He looked visibly worried, which was a strange look for him, and if things were different Spencer would tease him for being such a mother hen.He would have if Zack was still there, but Zack wasn’t there, and Spencer was the one in charge.He couldn’t let himself be childish like that when he had to keep control of things. 

 

He missed it. 

 

But there was a situation at hand that he had to deal with, so he pushed the thoughts away and turned to Will.“Someone here-” he started.Will scoffed, annoyed.Spencer wanted to smack him.“-was out past curfew, almost got himself run over, and smashed the windshield on a cop car.” 

 

Jon sighed and tipped his head back.“William….” 

 

“It was an _accident_ ,” Will snapped, yet again. 

 

“What the hell, man?” Jon asked.“What’ the matter with you?Why were you even out that late?”

 

“You go ahead and yell at him.”Spencer toed his shoes off and hung his coat and keys up by the door.“I have to call Pete.There’s hunters in town again.”

 

That set Jon off into a fit, ranting and raving that Will was out when there were _hunters in town._ And what was he even doing out in the first place?Had he been thinking at all?What was the matter with him? Did he want to be killed? 

 

Spencer hung back by the table and dialed Pete’s number, watching madness unfold in front of him.The madness was entirely contained to Jon, who was coming undone yelling at Will for worrying them.Will didn’t even try to argue back at Jon, just crossed his arms and bore it patiently.Maybe he’d finally get the message.

 

Pete already knew there were hunters there -of course he did- and was taking care of it.“Or… heh.Trying to,” Pete said, and Spencer wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that meant.“I’ll let you know when it’s safe,” he added, then hung up.That was under control, then.Or at least it was Pete’s problem to deal with.Spencer set his phone down and went back to the argument.Jon was starting to fizzle out, and Will looked thoroughly sorry.Spencer didn’t know how to go about this, hadn’t been given a manual about how to deal with shitty teenagers -he was still a shitty teenager himself, oh my God- but he knew exactly how Zack would have handled this situation. 

 

He turned to Will and held his hand out.“Give me your cellphone.” 

 

Will stopped looking remorseful almost immediately, picking the defiant expression back up almost as if he hadn’t dropped it in the first place.“Why?” he asked. 

 

“You’re grounded,” Spencer told him, because duh.That is entirely what Zack would do.Spencer knew from personal experience.

 

“You can’t do that!” Will snapped. 

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You’re not Zack!” 

 

“You can bet your ass I’m telling him about tonight, though.And he’ll say the exact same thing,” Spencer said. 

 

“You’re telling him!?” Will burst out, mouth falling open. 

 

“Phone.Hand it over.Now.” 

 

If looks could kill, Will would have struck him dead right there.As it was, he dug his phone out of his pocket and smacked it down in Spencer’s hand.“Fine.Whatever.Fuck, you’re such a _pain_.Nothing even _happened._ ” 

 

“You got _arrested,_ ” Jon snapped.“Drop the attitude.Spencer is Alpha here, show him some respect.” 

 

Will scoffed and shoved past both of them as he stormed to his room.“A fucking joke is what he is…” he grumbled.It rang out like a gunshot when he slammed his bedroom door closed, and Spencer took a long moment to close his eyes and breathe, sagging slightly. 

 

“Hey,” Jon said quietly, putting his hand on Spencer’s shoulder.“He’s just pissed.He’ll calm down.”

 

Spencer forced a grin and shrugged Jon’s hand off, not really feeling the physical affection after everything that’d happened that night.“I know,” he said. “I’m going to bed.” 

 

Brendon was still sitting at the kitchen table, watching Jon and Spencer with wide eyes, thrumming full of nervous tension and pulled tight like a wire.Spencer ruffled his hair as he passed.“Try and get some sleep tonight, B.Okay?” 

 

Brendon nodded, leg bouncing again.“Yeah, sure, totally.” 

 

“Bren-” 

 

“I’m fine, Spence.I’ll go to bed, promise.” 

 

“I’ll lock up.Did Pete say it’s safe?” Jon asked, going to the door and double checking the deadbolt.He put the chain up. 

 

“Safe enough.Let’s just stay inside tonight.Check the patio?”

 

“Got it.” 

 

Exhausted, Spencer retired to their bedroom and stripped down to his boxers to sleep.He was running hot, and he was more likely to shift in his sleep when he felt this way.Best not to ruin his clothes in the process.The open curtains had him paranoid, so he went over and pulled them closed after peeking up at the moon, half full.Spencer decided to look into learning the names for the phases of the moon.What kind of a werewolf referred to the moon as ‘half full’?Like a glass of water. 

 

Spencer was never going to get to sleep this way.He listened closely for a moment, and after determining that Jon and Brendon were talking in the living room and that he had a minute, he pulled the bottle of pills out of its hiding place in his underwear drawer and shook three into his palm.Three might have been too many, but he really needed to sleep.It would be fine.He swallowed them dry, cringing at the taste the left in his mouth, and shoved the bottle to the back of the drawer before crawling into bed.He’d call Zack in the morning.He’d worry about everything again in the morning.For now, he’d just let his nerves ease and his mind relax as he finally drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

…

 

 

Consciousness just started to poke at Will around ten the next morning.He groaned sleepily, clutching closer to whatever warm, soft thing was curled up next to him and burying his face in its fur.He was exhausted, his legs were aching, and he didn’t want to be awake just yet.It didn’t seem like he had a choice though, and as he became more and more aware, he finally gave in and blinked his eyes open. 

 

He had to sit up and peek over the sleeping mountain of fur in his bed to see the alarm clock, which read 10:39 a.m. He reached for his phone before remembering, oh yeah, it wasn’t there.He flopped back down in bed and frowned at the ceiling.He wanted to text Longineu and make sure he was alright.He wanted to go back in time and undo last night, actually, but that wasn’t going to happen.He growled quietly at himself, and he must have woken Brendon up, because then there was a cold, wet nose pressing against his neck. 

 

“Ugh, stop,” he complained, pushing at Brendon.Brendon responded by picking a paw up and dropping it in the middle of Will’s chest.It forced the air out of him, and he grumbled “God damn it,” only to have Brendon lick a stripe up the side of his head.Will couldn’t help but laugh, but he didn’t appreciate slobber in his ear.He rolled over and clutched a pillow over his head.“Fuck off,” he said. 

 

Brendon replied by panting as loud as he could, apparently, and fuck it, there was no way Will was getting back to sleep at this point.He groaned again, trying to make a point, and rolled out of bed.

 

He looked around for something to wear, and eventually just picked Brendon’s sweatpants up off the floor and pulled those on.He had no idea where his own were, and they were big on Brendon anyways.They fit fine. 

 

Brendon didn’t get out of bed, and he didn’t look like he was going to any time soon.He didn’t shift back either, but Will wasn’t too worried about it.Will hadn’t been able to sleep last night, too fueled up from the argument at first, and then too shaken by the hunters afterwards.Brendon had tried talking to him about it, but Will shut him down each time, snapping at him to just shut up already.He’d been on the verge of tears, stress and exhaustion getting to him around three in the morning, when Brendon had just gotten up, shifted over, and crawled into Will’s bed like some kind of uninvited, very determined teddy bear. 

 

Will had glared at him at first, but their room was cold, and Brendon was warm, and next thing he knew he was wrapping himself tight around Brendon and dozing off to sleep.It was hard to be upset when there was a fluff curled up against you. 

 

Will’s prayer that the apartment would be empty went unanswered, and Will was left facing Spencer and Jon in the kitchen.Jon was at the kitchen table in his work uniform.He was holding a cup from Starbucks, and he looked exhausted.He’d had an opening shift that morning -Will remembered him complaining about it yesterday- starting at four a.m.He probably hadn’t slept at all last night, and Will felt painfully guilty.

 

Spencer had his laptop open on the counter and was leaning over it.There was a wall of text open on the screen that he was studying intently.Will was pretty sure he was supposed to have class today.The high school had a holiday, but the college wouldn’t have.He’d stayed home from class.Well shit. 

 

They both looked up at him when he entered the room, and he felt like a deer in headlights.Like he was back in the middle of the street last night, staring at the shattered windshield and hoping the ground would open up and swallow him whole right there.It felt just like that, but similar to last night, the ground did nothing to help him out.He wrung his hands together before shoving them into his pockets and blurting out, “I’m sorry.” 

 

Spencer raised an eyebrow.Neither of them said anything. 

 

He decided the best thing to do was to keep going.“About last night,” he added.“Look, I… I really fucked up, and you’re right.I shouldn’t have been out that late, and you have every right to be mad at me, and I’m sorry.”As far as apologies went, he thought that was a pretty good one.He felt properly humiliated, face burning as they just stared at him.He dropped his eyes to the ground. 

 

“Can you guys, like… I don’t know, say something?” he practically begged.They were silent for another long minute.Jon was the first to move. 

 

“Oh come here, you idiot,” he said, standing up and pulling Will into a hug. 

 

“What, Jon, no, come on,” he complained, blushing even worse. 

 

Jon didn’t listen to him and instead said, “ _Spencer_.” 

 

Spencer sighed loudly and pushed off the counter to join them.“Group hug,” he said, squeezing them tight enough to bruise.Jon laughed.“Don’t let it happen again.” 

 

“Hard to make that same mistake twice,” Will murmured, squirming free from the hug and pulling a face at them as he snuck over to the coffee machine.“Brendon’s a wolf right now, by the way.Don’t let any company in.” 

 

“Because we have so many friends,” Jon said, rolling his eyes as he returned to his spot at the table.“We invite them over to party all the time.” 

 

“Shut up.” 

 

“Zack wants you to call him,” Spencer said, stealing the freshly poured cup of coffee out of Will’s hand and taking a sip.Will whined like a puppy, not even trying to hold onto any dignity. 

 

“You actually told him?” he asked. 

 

“Said I was going to.” 

 

The world was unfair.Will poured himself another cup of coffee and grumbled, “Damn it…” under his breath, knowing full well they could hear him.Spencer didn’t say anything, so at least there was that.

 

 

 

…

 

 

Spencer was just on the verge of sleep when Jon spoke, pulling his back to reality.“Hey,” Jon whispered.Spencer glared into the darkness and stifled a yawn. 

 

“No,” he whispered back. 

 

The room was quiet for a moment, and Spencer closed his eyes again, but then, “Hey.” 

 

Spencer snapped his eyes back open.“ _No._ ”

 

“Spence, c’mon,” Jon complained.Spencer growled quietly. 

 

“It’s one a.m., Jon.Go to _sleep_.” 

 

“I _can’t._ I took a nap at like, two o’clock.I can’t sleep.” 

 

“Not my problem.” 

 

Jon was quiet again, and for a little while Spencer let himself believe that he’d finally get to fall asleep.Just as he was closing his eyes and starting to fade out again, his bed was moving and Jon was climbing into it. 

 

“What are you doing?” Spencer whispered, turning and glaring at him. 

 

“I can’t sleep,” Jon complained again, lying down and making himself comfortable in Spencer’s bed.

 

“So?”

 

“Entertain me.” 

 

“Oh my God.Some of us are actually tired.” 

 

“Yeah.Not me, though.” 

 

“Then go watch TV,” Spencer suggested. 

 

“I’ll never get to sleep that way.If I’m up, I’m up.It’s a curse.” 

 

Spencer growled quietly and opened his eyes again, resigning himself to being awake for a while.Jon was silent again, and they both stayed that way for a while, staring up at the ceiling together and not saying anything. 

 

“Are you okay?” Jon asked when he eventually spoke again.Spencer really wished Jon would stop asking him that.It was getting on his nerves, and every time it came up, Spencer wanted to snap.He was doing just fine, and he didn’t need anyone thinking otherwise. 

 

“I’m _tired_ ,” he said, avoiding. 

 

“You know what I meant.”Spencer didn’t reply, but Jon filled the silence shortly.“Are you still taking the pills?” 

 

Spencer did not have the capacity to deal with this at one in the morning.“No,” he lied, and Jon let him. 

 

“Okay.” 

 

Spencer was too tired to think of something else to say, but he couldn’t sleep knowing Jon was in bed next to him.He stared up at the ceiling, remembering the glow stars he’d had as a kid.He thought back to other times they’d been like this, lying in the dark whispering secrets to each other.It’d been almost a nightly thing when they were younger.Spencer wondered when that stopped. 

 

“Remember the first night we had Brendon over?” he asked the darkness. 

 

“The day you bit him?”

 

“And he drank a Redbull and laughed for like forty-five minutes solid.” 

 

Jon chuckled.“That was great.How about the time we first met?” 

 

“Oh God.” 

 

“You were so young back then.All baby fat and a bad haircut,” Jon teased. 

 

“I hate you.” 

 

“And when you first moved in?You used to drive Zack _crazy_.” 

 

Spencer laughed and covered his eyes with his hand.“I was such a brat.” 

 

“Maybe Will getting in so much trouble is karma for us torturing Zack.” 

 

“Will’s not bad karma, shut up.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” 

 

“Remember that party we went to?” 

 

“You mean the one where you were so drunk I had to carry you through the fucking woods?I almost threw my back out.” 

 

“Zack was so mad at us for that.Gave us the whole ‘disappointed’ speech.” 

 

“That speech is the worst.It’s almost as bad as my mom’s.” 

 

They both laughed quietly for a moment, and then it faded away to comfortable silence again.Spencer didn’t even bother closing his eyes, no longer on the verge of falling asleep at any minute.He stared up at the ceiling and listened to Jon’s heart beat and his own, beating off sync with each other. 

 

“Do you miss them?” he asked. 

 

“Hm?”

 

“Your family.” 

 

Jon sighed.“Yeah… a lot, sometimes.Do you miss yours?” 

 

“I’m not sure anymore.” He rubbed at his eyes and contemplated what he’d just said, but it was true, and he couldn’t wrap his mind around it just then.He wasn’t sure how he felt, and his tired brain wasn’t up for tackling the riddle.“Do you miss Zack?” he asked, to distract himself. 

 

“He’s family, dude,” Jon replied. 

 

“Yeah,” Spencer said.“I always forget that you’ve known him forever.” 

 

“Literally forever.He helped raise me.” 

 

“I miss him,” Spencer confessed.“It just… It sucks that he’s gone.” 

 

“You’re doing really good,” Jon said.“As an Alpha.”Spencer knew he was lying, but he appreciated the sentiment anyways.He didn’t say anything, didn’t feel like he could, and seconds of silence turned into minutes until Jon broke it again, for what had to be the tenth time. 

 

“Want to make out?” he asked, rolling over on his side and propping his head up on his elbow. 

 

Spencer looked at him and raised an eyebrow.“The boys are home.No way.” 

 

Jon sighed and slumped back down against the bed.“Will you give me a goodnight kiss at least?” he asked. 

 

“No,” Spencer said instantly, not up for playing Jon’s games that late at night. 

 

“Please?”

 

“No.”

 

“ _Please?”_

 

Spencer huffed.“If I do, will you go to sleep?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Fine.”He pushed himself up on his elbow, and so did Jon.They stared at each other for a moment, Spencer unsure of what to do and Jon staring at him expectantly.There was something weird rattling around in Spencer’s stomach that he didn’t want to think about as he leaned in and pressed a quick peck to Jon’s lips, then rolled over with his back to Jon and pulled the blanket up. 

 

“Okay.Now get out of my bed, Walker.” 

 

Jon laughed, but the bed shifted as he got up and moved away.“You say the sweetest things to me.” 

 

“Shut up, dogbreath.” 

 

“In your dreams, puppy.”Jon did finally shut up, though, and Spencer fell asleep rather quickly.Jon was in his dreams that night, which was something Spencer had thought he’d outgrown at this point, and it made him hate himself just a little more than normal. 


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just bros being guys. Just guys being dudes. Sorry this took so long. Chapter eleven is on it's way ;P

_“Holidays are coming up.”_

 

_“…Yeah…”_

 

_“How’re you doing?”_

 

_“Good? I think…”_

 

_“You don’t sound so sure.”_

 

_“Heh… yeah. I’m kind of not.I’m fine.”_

 

 

…

 

Will hadn’t spent the holidays with the pack before, but even without prior experiences to compare this to he knew they weren’t all as into it as they maybe would be normally.It wasn’t that it was bad, everyone was just a little off.On Thanksgiving, they cooked a turkey apparently out of pure resolution to adhere to tradition, as if doing so would somehow fix things and put the season back on track.At dinner, Jon talked about what his family was doing back home, and Will shared his mom’s traditions just so the table wouldn’t be silent, though he wasn’t sure she even celebrated anymore.He hoped she did, with the people from the church or their neighbors or something.He didn’t want his mom to be alone on the holidays.

 

Brendon wondered aloud about how big his niece had gotten.He also said, “Mom made green bean casserole.She always does.It’s disgusting,” as if he was there to suffer through it.He didn’t say much else, and he looked sad.

 

Spencer didn’t say anything.

 

Jon was obviously trying very hard, and Will appreciated that.He didn’t want the pack to be sad during the holidays either, but he didn’t know how to help, so he spent most of his time hiding- at school and at the library, or at Longineu’s house, because other people’s family problems were easier to deal with than his own.He figured it’d be best to stay out of the way and let them handle it.He didn’t know how Spencer and Brendon felt.Their families had left _them_ , but Will had abandoned his own.He guessed Jon could relate to that in a way, except that Jon left with their blessing, and also still talked to his own family.In fact, he talked to them more and more as December crept in. 

 

The first day of December found Brendon dragging a cardboard box of Christmas decorations out of Zack’s room, which remained untouched since the day he’d moved out, as if the guy was dead.Brendon went to town, hanging garland and fake snow from every available surface and adamantly refusing help with the stupid plastic tree.Will sat back out of the way and watched, humming along idly to the Christmas songs Brendon had playing on the radio in the kitchen.Ordinarily he’d be pissy about there being a Christmas tree up before his birthday, but Brendon seemed a little too frantic about this apparent nesting ritual for Will to interrupt him.This wasn’t the kind of thing pills could fix, so Will let Brendon try and fix it himself, no matter the means. 

 

Maybe Brendon just missed Zack or his family.God knows Will missed his mom more this Christmas than last.Last December he’d spent shivering in the woods in a tent, his only company Pete Wentz and occasionally a werewolf pack that he didn’t trust yet.He hadn’t even been sure of the days, so Christmas had passed by uselessly.He hadn’t even thought to be homesick. 

 

He’d been settled in for a while now, just about a year.He had people he cared about close to him, and he was living in a place that felt like home.It was easy to draw parallels that made him miss Florida more than he’d ever thought possible. 

 

Visiting home hadn’t helped.He missed his mom, but that wasn’t something he knew how to talk about, so he didn’t.He didn’t know how to talk about missing Zack either, because that was just something that didn’t come up in conversation.Besides, the other guys had known him longer.If they weren’t cracking, then neither was Will.He just wished he had someone to talk to. 

 

Given the melancholy circumstances, Will wasn’t expecting anything special for his birthday.He wasn’t even sure they would remember it.It fell on a Friday –the last day of school before Christmas break, or so Longineu told him, so he wouldn’t make the mistake of pretending to be away during the next week- and he met Brendon outside and walked home with him.Longineu had a family thing, but he’d promised to “make it up to you, babe, promise,” even though he didn’t have to.Will wasn’t sure when Longineu had started calling him ‘babe,’ but he didn’t mind. 

 

So Will didn’t suspect a thing, not even from the stupid face Brendon was making at him, until he got home and got blitzkrieg-ed with a pillow fight.Brendon jumped on his back, and Spencer and Jon sandwiched him between couch cushions, and everyone was shouting and laughing as they collapsed into a pile on the floor, and Dylan darted through the open door.

 

Jon squirmed free of the pile to run after Dylan, saving him from the hallway and ruining his escape plan, while Will laughed and pushed a pillow into Spencer’s face, and Brendon smacked a gross kiss to Will’s cheek. 

 

“Get off’a me,” Will complained. 

 

“Happy birthday!” Brendon yelled, right in his ear. 

 

Spencer laughed and rolled away, sprawling out on his back on the floor and grinning.“Happy birthday, pup.” 

 

“Got him!” Jon kicked the door closed behind him and held Dylan up, Lion King style, while Dylan hissed and glared down everyone in the room in turn.

 

“You’re eighteen now, how does it feel?” Brendon asked. 

 

Will pried himself free from the little gremlin and gave Spencer a hand up.“Fine,” he said.“Is there cake?” 

 

“You have to eat dinner first,” Spencer said at the same time as Jon said, “Hell yeah there is!” 

 

“Dinner first,” Spencer insisted. 

 

“I’m eighteen now, I do what I want.”Will tossed his backpack down by the couch and sauntered into the kitchen, sniffing out the aforementioned cake that was hidden away somewhere. 

 

Jon laughed hard at that, making a face at Spencer that Will didn’t quite understand.“Is that how it works, then?” he asked. 

 

Will nodded.“Legal adults can eat cake whenever they want.” 

 

“Keep that attitude up and you’re getting a birthday spanking,” Spencer threatened, hooking a hand in the back of Will’s hoodie and shaking him a bit. 

 

Will replied, “Kinky,” and gnawed at Spencer’s arm until he let go, smacking Will upside the head as he did so.Jon was laughing too hard for his own good at that point, and Brendon was making the most offended face Will had ever seen. 

 

“That is _so gross_ , guys, oh my God.” 

 

“You’re so gross,” Will shot back. 

 

“Your mom is so gross.” 

 

“Damn right she is.” He tilted his head up to look at Spencer and pulled his best pleading face, which wasn’t as good as Brendon’s, but was still something.“Cake?” he asked.Spencer sighed, acting for all the world like he was being burdened more in that moment than anyone else had ever.Whatever.Will wasn’t great at analogies, and especially not on his birthday.He had other things to think about. 

 

“Fine, cake.Jon, where do we keep the candles?” Spencer asked. 

 

“Oh,” Jon said.“Shit.” 

 

It turned out they had thrown away all the birthday candles back in April, after Brendon’s therapist suggested that maybe they shouldn’t keep those things around, given Brendon’s tendencies toward self-harm. They hadn’t used candles for Spencer’s birthday, because Jon had found a leftover sparkler from the Fourth of July and they’d used that instead. Nobody talked about the missing candles as they scoured the apartment for any sort of stand in.Jon found a deck of matches with the insignia “ _Alex’s_ ” on the front and stuck every single one into the frosting, then burnt himself trying to light them.He damn near caught his own sleeve on fire, but in the end, Will blew out their mildly successful birthday cake and Jon poked at the blister on his wrist while they cut the cake into too big of pieces and settled down on the couch. 

 

“Merry Christmas,” Brendon said, and Will kicked him. 

 

“None of that shit on my birthday,” he responded, and got smacked upside the head again. 

 

“Be nice,” Spencer scolded.

 

“Birthday spanking,” Jon added. 

 

Will balanced his cake on the arm of the couch and crossed his arms.“Nobody is coming anywhere near my ass.Don’t even think about it.” 

 

“Yeah,” Brendon said, looking up smugly from the floor.“Save that for his _booooyfriend_.”Will planted a sock covered foot on the back of Brendon’s head and shoved, making Brendon face plant into the piece of cake balanced on his knees.Brendon didn’t miss a beat before turning around and lunging, tackling Will back into the couch and rubbing what was left of his plate into Will’s face. 

 

They continued smacking and shoving at each other while Spencer said, “Guys… Guys. _Guys_ ,” with growing levels of irritation.Will laughed and watched as Jon threaded his hand into Spencer’s hair, arm around his shoulders and mouth close to his ear. 

 

He said, “Relax, puppy,” and Spencer shrugged him off, glaring with more fire in his expression than made sense.He and Jon were acting weird, and they’d been arguing a lot lately, but Will figured it was just the holidays getting on everybody’s nerves and chose to ignore it. 

 

“There’s cake in your hair,” he told Brendon, and he was rewarded by having the younger wolf nuzzle his face into Will’s shirt, getting frosting everywhere.Will smushed his own full plate on the top of Brendon’s head and laughed at the resulting shriek (Brendon) and irritated sigh (Spencer).Overall, it was a pretty good birthday, even if Spencer made him vacuum the living room afterwards.

 

 

... 

 

Days passed and things remained more or less the same.Halloween was over, then Thanksgiving, and it always blew Jon’s mind how fast the holidays passed by.Before he knew it, Christmas was upon them, and he couldn’t believe how far away last Christmas seemed. 

 

Christmas this year was fine, good even.Jon had been in a bad mood lately, but he couldn’t let that ruin things.Will and Brendon were off school, and Spencer had finished his program and just had to sit back and eagerly await the news on his degree.Jon didn’t know what was taking them so long.Either Spencer passed or he didn’t, but the suspense was kind of killing him. 

 

Spencer, in result, was killing Jon.Not purposefully of course, but he was kind of being a dick, and Jon didn’t know what to do about it.Extending advice didn’t help, and offering any sort of assistance was only met with huffiness.Maybe there was just nothing to do.Jon wasn’t good at doing nothing, especially not when it came to Spencer.

 

Christmas was good though.Jon, in some fit of masochistic tendencies, apparently, volunteered himself for the opening shift Christmas morning.He was out of the house at four thirty, and he was back at noon, which was when Brendon and Will were waking up anyways.It worked out, and he took a glorious nap after they exchanged presents. 

 

They didn’t have much.Most of what Jon and Spencer made went to groceries and rent.They had Zack willing to help them out, of course, but Spencer’s pride wasn’t about to let that happen, and Jon could respect that.He wanted to be able to make it on his own, too, and they weren’t struggling.Nobody was going hungry.It was just a stretch, was all. 

 

Somehow, through ways Jon didn’t know and wasn’t sure he wanted to figure out, Brendon bought him Skyrim for Christmas.That game was like sixty dollars.Where had that kid gotten sixty dollars?Jon figured that sometimes it was best not to question things.He doubted Brendon could get himself into real, serious trouble without any of them knowing.Sure, he’d gotten into trouble before, but that wasn’t the kind of trouble that had made him money.

 

Jon wasn’t too worried.

 

Jon bought Spencer a fancy calculator for Christmas, one that apparently _all_ accountants used and had been using since the beginning of time.He’d heard Spencer bitching about how the thing was far too expensive when he already had the app on his phone, but he looked pretty damn happy while unwrapping it.Spencer was such a nerd, but he was smiling, so that was okay. 

 

He’d gotten Will some cheesy science fiction novels, which he’d thrown himself into immediately.The kid spent most of Christmas day curled up on the couch, nose in a book, tucked into the new hoodie Spencer had given him. 

 

Will had given Brendon a dog tag necklace with the etched words “fight me.” Spencer murmured something about the necklace being bad luck, but Brendon had put it on immediately, beaming like the sun as he did.“Nobody messes with me much anymore anyways,” Brendon said, flopping over sideways onto Will, who allowed it patiently and with a bored expression. 

 

They all walked away from the event with new things to keep them entertained, though Jon had a feeling he was going to regret giving Brendon that Queen CD when he woke up from his nap and it was _still playing_.Jon rubbed groggily at his eyes and stumbled into the main room of the apartment, where he located Spencer on the couch and immediately curled into him. 

 

“What do you want?” Spencer asked, not looking up from the TV, and ouch.Jon was awake enough to feel that. 

 

“Shut up,” he said.Spencer didn’t reply, and Jon felt sick to his stomach.He didn’t know what was going on.He sat there, leaning into Spencer’s side and feeling both wildly uncomfortable and too pigheaded to move away, until he heard Spencer sigh and there was an arm around his shoulders. 

 

“Sorry,” Spencer said. “I’m tired.” 

 

“It’s okay,” Jon replied, because of course it was.Even though Spencer was always tired these days.Even though Jon would appreciate a little bit of effort there. 

 

Will must have been tired, too, because he was fast asleep, curled into a ball against the back of the couch, snoring gently and holding his book like a teddy bear.Jon grabbed Spencer’s phone off the couch and snapped a quick picture, waking Will up with the shutter noise. 

 

“Wha’?” Will asked, squinting at them and unfolding.Jon quickly put Spencer’s phone back and grinned innocently. 

 

“Nothing.” 

 

Will yawned, and then Brendon was tumbling over the back of the couch and sprawling out with his head on Jon’s thigh and his feet in Will’s lap.“Thanks for Christmas, guys,” he said, looking up at Jon with an expression that was far too earnest for Jon to handle when he was sleepy.He ruffled Brendon’s hair and tugged at his ear, showing affection the best way he knew how to. 

 

“Of course, pup,” he said.“Merry Christmas.” 

 

 

…

 

 

Will spotted Longineu’s car in the parking lot the moment he walked out of the courthouse where the GED test had been hosted in a freezing classroom-like place in the basement.Sure, Longineu’s car was one of exactly four cars in the parking lot, but it was also damn ugly.Will would have spotted it just as easily if there were forty cars.

 

“How’d it go?” Longineu asked the second the passenger door was opened.Will grinned smugly, pretty pleased with himself, as he slid into the passenger seat. Longineu punched Will in the arm.Will punched him back. 

 

“Fuckin’ rocked it,” he said, shoving his seat back and kicking his feet up on the dashboard.“This calls for ice cream.That test went _awesome_.” 

 

“It’s like five degrees out,” Longineu complained, but he turned right anyways.If they’d been leaving town, he would have turned left.Right meant Dairy Queen.Will grinned some more. 

 

“No, that went really well,” Will continued.“Like, I’ve never felt good about a test before.I think I passed.” 

 

“When do you find out?”

 

“They’ll send my results in the mail.”Will sat up to peer at the drive-thru menu even though he knew exactly what he was getting.He’d been ordering a cookie dough Blizzard since the day he’d found out they existed, but he like to look at the menu anyways.They always added ridiculous things to it, like hot dogs and onion rings.He had a bet going with Brendon to see how bad the menu would get.Brendon said they wouldn’t stoop to pizza, but Will didn’t think Dairy Queen had standards.He wouldn’t put it past them. 

 

At the pick-up window, Will unbuckled his seat belt and leaned over Longineu to hand his debit card to the cashier.He’d been pretty uncomfortable with getting one –with putting his name _out there_ , on a _bank account_.Runaways were cautious about those things- but Spencer had managed to talk him into it, and Will had to admit, it was pretty useful. 

 

Longineu took the opportunity to grab Will’s ass and said, “I could have done that,” while the cashier giggled at them.Will laughed too as he snatched his card back and threw himself into his seat. 

 

“Pervert,” he said. “I’ve been accosted.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” 

 

They parked the car in the back of the parking lot and let the heat run, beating away the bitter January air.It’d been freezing in October, and it’d just gone downhill since then.Will was mildly concerned about getting frostbite every time he stepped foot outside.He had no idea how he’d made it through the winter before. 

 

Longineu finished his vanilla ice cream cone in three bites, and Will knew he’d regret it in about half an hour.Longineu somehow believed that the rules of lactose intolerance didn’t apply to him, and Will wasn’t about to stand between the guy and his ice cream.One time he’d said something cheesy like, “Why do you need ice cream when you have someone as sweet as me?”Longineu had laughed so hard that ice cream went up his nose.It was kind of gross, but mostly hilarious. 

 

They weren’t quite as ridiculous this time around, even though Will felt pretty giddy about his test.Longineu kept staring off into the distance and fiddling with the gear shift, and Will really wished that everyone would stop acting so funny all the damn time.Winter was making people weird, and Will wasn’t sure how to handle all of this.Maybe it was seasonal depression or some shit.Will didn’t know how that worked.He’d try to get Brendon to ask his therapist about it.

 

“This is pretty cool, huh?” Longineu asked.Will glanced at him and shoved a heaping spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.“You’re, like.You’re officially done with school now, and you’re a legal adult.You can do whatever the hell you want.” 

 

Will shrugged.“Kind of,” he mumbled with his mouth full, trying not to let melting ice cream leak down his chin.

 

“When I’m eighteen,” Longineu went on, “I’m moving out.My aunt has this loft, and she says I can have it.Like an apartment.I have to talk to my dad about it though.” 

 

Will nodded, remembering Longineu talking about this all before.“When’s your birthday again?” he asked, and maybe that made him a shitty kind-of-boyfriend, because Longineu had remembered _his_ birthday, but he wasn’t sure if that sort of thing mattered or not.He’d never done this before. 

 

“February,” Longineu said.“The sixteenth.Maybe I’ll move out in March.” 

 

Will nodded again and worked at prying a chunk of cookie dough free with his plastic spoon.He wasn’t sure why Longineu kept bringing this up, and he wasn’t sure what to say, so he didn’t say anything.He thought maybe Longineu would just drop it again, like he had the last few times, but then he turned in his seat and stared at Will until he looked up and made eye contact. 

 

“What?”

 

“Y’know,” Longineu said, looking too nervous for his own good.Will could hear his heart beating a tad too quick and smell the sweat prickling on his skin in the desert that the car had become.It made Will nervous, too.“You could, maybe, um….” He trailed off, and then spit out, “Having a roommate would be cool.”

 

“What?” Will asked again, uselessly.Longineu wrinkled his nose up and looked away, embarrassed. 

 

“Wait,” Will said, when Longineu opened his mouth to speak again.“Wait, so like...You want to live together?” 

 

“Just an idea,” he mumbled.He kept looking away from Will, eyes lost out the window while he fidgeted with his hair and pulled it free of its ponytail, letting his braids fall down around his face and then immediately messing with them. 

 

“That’s kind of…” Will trailed off, too, then shook his head and tried again.“That’s kind of a lot.” 

 

Longineu shrugged and sprang into action.He shifted to sit properly in his seat, yanked the car into drive, and started heading out of the parking lot.“Is that a no?” 

 

“I don’t know….” 

 

“Just think about it.” 

 

“Where are we going?” Will asked, recognizing the route from the larger neighbor town back to their own. 

 

“I promised to help my dad in the shop this afternoon.I’ll drop you at yours, kay?” 

 

Will could tell that Longineu wanted to be alone, and maybe he could have said something useful to help him out, but moving in together was a big thing.He wanted to think about it first.So instead of doing anything valuable, he just said, “Sure.Spencer will want me home anyways.” 

 

Somehow, it seemed, his day had gone from fucking excellent to surreal and uncomfortable.It wasn’t that Will hated the idea of moving in with Longineu, but what would they be moving in as?Friends?Boyfriends?What would the guys say?Will had spent the past year getting used to living with the pack and deciding that he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, but…. Will just wasn’t sure.He needed to think about it, so he sat quietly while Longineu drove silently, and before he knew it they were pulling up outside the apartment and Will was hopping out of the car. 

 

“Thanks,” he said.“See ya around.”Longineu grinned at him, and he drove off as soon as Will slammed the door shut.He felt like he’d just fucked something up tremendously, but he wasn’t sure what or how, so he headed inside to think about it.It would be easier to think when he wasn’t frozen, and maybe everyone would be home.Maybe the apartment would be loud and he wouldn’t have to think about it.Will made his way home, taking the stairs two at a time to speed up the five flight journey. 

 

Today was one of the best days of his life, he reminded himself.He’d dropped out of school and gotten his GED, all within the span of a few months, and he’d gotten away with all of it.He had no reason to feel mopey after all of that, so once inside, after finding the apartment empty, Will grabbed a soda from the fridge, switched on the Xbox, and settled down to kick some ass and think about nothing except success. 

 

 

…

 

 

It was a Wednesday morning in the middle of January, when Spencer looked into his stash and counted four pills left that he realized he was in trouble.

 

It was the next morning, when he counted three pills and swallowed two that he figured he’d have to stop lollygagging and actually do something about this.He had to be at work bright and early (he was officially hired, nine to five, like an actual adult or something), and Dobbenhauer had been in a _mood_ all week.Spencer needed the extra support to make it through the day.  


Later that evening, while Jon was in the shower, Spencer took a break from cooking dinner and snatched Jon’s cell phone from the kitchen table.He found the number for “Snake my Guy” and typed it into his own cell phone, then put Jon’s back where he’d found it. 

 

That night, when Jon was already fast asleep next to him, Spencer shot off a text to Snake. 

 

“Come by tomorrow,” Snake texted back almost immediately, then sent a second.“Bring the stuff. I’ll see what I can do.” 

 

“I’ll be there,” Spencer texted back, then turned off his phone for the night, deciding to leave the office during his lunch break for once.Half an hour should be enough time to get to Snake’s and back, and if it wasn’t, oh well.He couldn’t believe he was using his lunch break to try and buy prescription drugs from some guy named Snake, who sold the weed he picked up from the dispensary an hour away out of his mom’s basement.Spencer’s life was a little weird lately.He settled into bed and closed his eyes, knowing there wouldn’t be enough hours between that moment and his alarm going off in the morning, when he’d be faced to confront this weirdness straight forward.

 

…

 

 

Sure enough, it barely felt like five minutes later that Spencer’s alarm was screaming at him.He stumbled out of bed, exhausted, and dragged himself to the bathroom.Jon was still sleeping like the dead.He had an evening shift that day and was free to sleep as late as he wanted.Spencer could hear the boys stumbling around the apartment, having just gotten up to head off to school.He showered quickly, and after combing his hair and brushing his teeth, Spencer squinted into his pill bottle and frowned.One pill left.If Snake couldn’t help him out, he was kind of fucked.Trying to steal more pills from Brendon would be tricky, and Spencer didn’t feel right doing that.He wasn’t sure if he could get through the day without them, though. 

 

He swallowed his last pill and pocketed the bottle after getting dressed.He’d promised to drive the boys to school the night before, since temperatures were supposed to hit the negatives that morning.After collecting Will and Brendon and dumping them off in front of the high school, Spencer drove to work and made it with ten minutes to spare.

 

The first few hours went smoothly and better than Spencer was expecting.He was anxious about his lunch break, and his stomach would turn over every few minutes that he thought about it, but before he knew it, he was standing on the porch of the address Snake had texted him, clutching the pill bottle in his coat pocket and knocking his fist against the door. 

 

Snake looked incredibly ordinary, which caught Spencer off guard as soon as he opened the door.Spencer had been expecting tattoos or piercings or a shaved head, but Snake looked like any other twenty-something year old man.Maybe he looked like someone who still mooched off their parents, but he definitely didn’t look bizarre. 

 

Snake invited Spencer into the house and led him into a living room that looked just as ordinary as Snake did.“Antidepressants?” He leaned against a door jamb and squinted at the orange bottle Spencer had passed over, which had Brendon’s name covered up in Sharpie but still showed the drug name and dosage.“Don’t have too many people looking for these.Y’know you don’t get much of a high off ‘em, right?” 

 

“Can you help me out or not?” 

 

Snake tossed the bottle in the air a few times and shrugged.“Didn’t say I couldn’t. I have a guy, got you covered, man.” 

 

“How soon can you have it?” Spencer asked.Snake smirked at him. 

 

“Eager much?” he asked, and if Spencer felt his cheeks heat up, he chose to ignore it.Snake went on, “He’s coming over today.I’ll get him to bring it.Say seven tonight?”

 

Relief flooded Spencer so fast he damn near got dizzy.He’d have it before tomorrow.Snake was a fucking life saver.He nodded. “That’s great,” he said.“Perfect.Yeah.” 

 

Snake laughed, at him no doubt, but nodded.“It’s gonna be sixty.” 

 

Spencer choked a bit, gaping and crossing his arms over his chest. “Sixty dollars?”

 

“You want it or not?” Snake snapped back.“Thirty pills, sixty dollars.Take it or leave it.”Spencer sighed, thinking about how that money could go towards gas in his car, or groceries.He tried to calculate exactly how much work was put into the sixty dollars he was throwing down the drain, but he was desperate, and he didn’t have many options here, so he nodded. 

 

“Fine,” he said.“I’ll bring it when I come back.”

 

“Cash,” Snake added. 

 

“No shit.” 

 

They were done after that, and Snake showed Spencer the door, reminding him to be back after seven with the money.Spencer stopped on the doorstep and turned back to him.“Can you, uh, not tell Jon we’re doing this?” he asked, and he watched the smirk crawl back across Snake’s face. 

 

“Keeping this little habit a secret, huh?” he asked. 

 

“Just don’t tell him,” Spencer snapped back.“It’s none of his business.” 

 

Snake pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow.“Ten more dollars, and the secret is yours.”

 

This was ridiculous.“Fine, whatever.”

 

“Now get out of my house, kid.You’re letting in the cold.”Spencer scoffed quietly to himself and walked back to his car on the side of the street.Snake shut the door behind him, and Spencer rubbed at his nose as he yanked open the car door. The house had reeked of cat piss, and Snake had reeked of weed and sweat, and it was making Spencer’s eyes water.He wasn’t sure he’d ever get that scent out of his nose, but that was a small price to pay for what he was getting. 

 

Spencer didn’t have a lot of options, and he didn’t have a problem.It was all under control.Now Spencer just had to drive back to his normal job, and do normal work, and be a normal, functioning member of society.He texted Jon that he was hitting the gym after work, to not expect him home before Jon went in for his shift.Jon texted back a “K,” and Spencer had to wonder what crawled up his ass and died, but then he was back at work, so he turned his phone off and decided not to worry about it.All of Spencer’s problems were solved, and he could just soak that up for now. 

 

 

…

 

 

Ryan noticed Brendon at the bus stop from a block away.He caught his scent half a block later, which was something Ryan wouldn’t ever get used to.He’d been a werewolf for several months now, but he’d been a human for sixteen years before then.He knew basic rules now like don’t clench his fists when he was angry, and that every squirrel and deer and occasional bear he noticed in the woods (that he wouldn’t have before) wasn’t a threat, and that no matter how tired he was, make sure everything was in its place after the full moon.He was used to a lot of things, but catching scents wasn’t one of them.

 

Brendon noticed Ryan before he got to the bus stop, and he looked up with a wide smile and waved. 

 

“Ryan!” he yelled.Ryan held back the grimace that came from a hangover headache and waved a hand back.He’d resigned himself to Brendon’s presence at this point.If Brendon was this determined to be his friend, then Ryan would just have to deal with it.It wasn’t the worst thing ever, he supposed.Sometimes Brendon paid for food, and that was pretty cool. 

 

Today was one of those days.“Dude, I’m starving.Wanna go to IHop?Hey!You’re wearing the hat!”Brendon’s fingers tugged at the beanie Ryan had smushed onto his head, and Ryan gently shrugged Brendon out of his personal space. 

 

“Yeah,” he said.“It’s cold out, so.” 

 

Brendon grinned.“Best Christmas present ever?” he asked, apparently teasing.Ryan just offered him a grin.“So,” Brendon added.“IHop?I’m totally craving pancakes, man.All we’ve had at home lately is meatloaf and pizza, I swear if I see another meatloaf, I’ll kill myself.”Brendon flinched a bit after saying that last part, and Ryan wasn’t sure what the strange expression on his face was about.He decided to talk before Brendon got the chance to keep going. 

 

“No IHop,” Ryan said.“I hate that place.” 

 

“Oh…” Brendon deflated only a little bit before bouncing back.“Want coffee?” 

 

Ryan was damn tired, having stayed out at the club until 4 a.m. the night before.He nodded, knowing that Brendon would pay without Ryan even having to ask.“Sure.”  


“Why do you hate IHop? Everyone loves pancakes.They’re like, God’s gift to food or something.” 

 

Ryan chewed on his lip as he walked alongside Brendon.He didn’t actually hate IHop, of course.There was nothing wrong with the place except for the fact that Greta worked there, along with a group of other people who knew his name.Greta knew things about Ryan that Brendon didn’t know, and Brendon really didn’t need to find out some of those things about Ryan.It was best to keep secrets sometimes, he figured. 

 

It had only taken a little while of them being “friends” (Ryan guessed they were friends.He didn’t know what else to call this arrangement they had) for Brendon to start telling him things.Ryan knew a lot about the pack, and about some girl named Sarah.Ryan knew that Brendon didn’t talk about his real family, but neither did Ryan, so he didn’t push.Brendon, at one point, had told him about an ex-boyfriend named Shane. 

 

Brendon had tagged along grocery shopping with Ryan, as he did when Ryan didn’t feel particularly keen on being alone and Brendon had nothing better to do.They’d been looking at bread when Brendon grabbed onto Ryan’s wrist and dragged him into the next aisle, apparently hiding from the group of loud teens that had wandered in, and of course Ryan wasn’t going to let that go without getting answers. 

 

The thing was, finding out about Shane hit Ryan kind of hard, because obviously Brendon was a lot more innocent than Ryan had expected.A hell of a lot more innocent than Ryan himself was.If Brendon was the kind of person who freaked the fuck out over a boy wanting his dick sucked, how would he respond to even half the truth about Ryan? 

 

Ryan couldn’t tell him anything, but it was better that way. He didn’t actually want his secrets getting out anyway. 

 

“Yo, you still in there?” A hand waving in front of Ryan’s face drew him back out of his thoughts, and he glanced at Brendon. 

 

“Yeah,” he said.“Sorry.”They were still walking.Ryan trusted that Brendon knew where they were going.He was silent again –maybe he had been for a while now, Ryan couldn’t be sure- and Ryan let himself ask a question as it came to mind. 

 

“Hey, what grade are you in school?” 

 

Brendon answered, “Junior.Man, one and a half years left.I can’t wait to be done with that.Too many assholes.” 

 

Ryan nodded slowly.Sometimes he forgot things, such as how far he’d be in school if he hadn’t dropped out, or how old he was, or what day of the week it was, let alone what month.It was hard to keep track of things like that when his schedule was random and entirely up to Dahvie’s whims. 

 

“You okay?” 

 

“Sure.” 

 

They stopped in front of a Starbucks, and Ryan squinted up at the sign.“You have to wait out here, okay?What do you want?” 

 

Ryan shrugged –“Whatever.”- and wondered why he had to stay outside while Brendon darted in.Ryan peered through the window and watched Brendon interacting with someone at the counter, holding a full on conversation apparently, and well...If Ryan was keeping secrets, than maybe Brendon was, too.Maybe Ryan was Brendon’s secret. 

 

He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.What did Brendon think of him if he figured he had to hide him?What had Brendon figured out already? 

 

Said boy was back outside within a few minutes, clutching two white cups in his hands and offering one out to Ryan.Ryan took it, eying Brendon carefully, and sniffed at it.It burned his tongue, but it was warm in his hands, so Ryan clutched onto it and followed Brendon off down the sidewalk. 

 

“A guy from my pack works in there,” Brendon explained.“They can be kind of nosy about things.I just-“

 

“It’s fine,” Ryan interrupted.“You don’t have to tell me stuff like that.” 

 

Brendon wrinkled his face up, peering curiously at Ryan.“But I want to.We’re friends, right?Friends tell each other stuff.” 

 

Ryan couldn’t look at him.Not after a statement like that.He nodded down at the sidewalk, and mentally kicking his own ass the entire time, said, “Let’s go back to my place.” 

 

Brendon quirked an eyebrow, but he nodded, so Ryan clutched tighter to his coffee and led the way. 

 

 

…

 

 

It was a long walk back to Ryan’s place into the not-great part of town.It was such a long walk that Brendon had to wonder if Ryan was leading him away to murder him somewhere, but he liked to think Ryan was too nice to do something like that.Nice, yes, but not the friendliest.Ryan didn’t say much during the walk to wherever it was they were going, so Brendon did his best to keep the conversation going, trying to say things that made Ryan smile and avoid questions that made him scowl.It was a tricky game to play. 

 

After walking around the back of a group of businesses and cutting through a cluster of houses, Ryan led them through the middle of a parking lot and came to a stop outside of a motel.It was small, two stories, and wrapped around like a U.All the rooms opened up to a balcony, and the place was colored with light blue paint and a layer of grime that came from being around for a long time. 

 

Brendon expected them to keep walking, but Ryan just stopped and looked at the building in front of them. 

 

“You live in there?” Brendon asked after a minute.Ryan nodded.“But… it’s a motel…” he added, in case Ryan didn’t know that.Ryan just nodded again. 

 

“Yeah, well.” 

 

“Which room is yours?” Brendon asked, and Ryan made that scowling face again and hesitated.Brendon was ready to renege the question and apologize for asking, but then Ryan answered anyways. 

 

“Two eleven,” he said. 

 

“Can we go inside?” 

 

Ryan rolled his paper cup between his hands and then shook his head. “No…” he said slowly.“I don’t think so.” 

 

“Okay,” Brendon replied, not wanting to push.“Now what?” 

 

Ryan tilted his head to one side, then the other.He chewed on his lip and then glanced down the street.“Can I see where you live?” he asked after a while.“I don’t want to go inside.” 

 

Brendon wasn’t sure who was home (he knew Jon wasn’t), but it probably didn’t matter if Ryan didn’t want to go inside anyways.Not that Spencer would mind a stranger in the apartment, especially not a werewolf stranger, but Ryan seemed like he startled easily.Brendon didn’t want to overwhelm him with too much too fast.The apartment was kind of small, and they could be pretty loud. 

 

“Sure,” Brendon said.“It’s in the middle of town.” 

 

Ryan shrugged, which Brendon took to mean ‘lead the way,’ so he turned on his heel and did.Ryan followed, and Brendon couldn’t think of anything to say just then, so he stayed quiet.Maybe Ryan wouldn’t mind. 

 

 

 

…

 

 

“So I thought about it,” Will said, phone pressed against his ear and knees drawn up nervously on the bed.He picked at his sock and stared across the room at the wall.He chewed on his lip. 

 

_“And?”_ Longineu asked, voice hesitant, like he was waiting for Will to shoot him down or something.Just as Will was about to respond, Brendon poked his head through the door. 

 

“Thought about what?” he asked. 

 

Will scowled.“Go away, I’m not talking to you.” 

 

“Who are you talking to?”

 

“None of your business.Get out.” 

 

“It’s my room!” 

 

“Out.Go!Jesus, can’t a guy get a bit of privacy around here?”

 

“Nope!” Brendon chirped, but he scrambled away when Will leapt off the bed and crossed the room to slam the door.He growled quietly and picked his phone back up, falling down on his bed. 

 

“Sorry.Still there?”

 

_“Yeah_.”

 

“So I thought about it….”

 

_“You already said that.”_

 

“And I want to….”

 

_“But?”_

 

Will sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Are we dating?” His voice came out too rushed, and it sounded weird.He heard his heartbeat pounding in his own ears and rolled his jaw to try and pop them.

 

Longineu didn’t respond right away. 

 

“It’s just,” Will went on, stumbling over himself.“It’s just, I like what we have going, but I… I think, y’know, we should be on, like, the same page?Before we do something like this?” 

 

_“Something like what?”_

 

“Move in together.”

 

_“Do_ you _think we’re dating?”_

 

“I don’t know.That’s why I’m asking.” 

 

_“Do you want to be dating?”_

 

Will sucked in a breath and sat up, fidgeting nervously.He stood and paced to the window, just to give himself some space to think.“I… what will you say if I say yes?” 

 

There was a pregnant pause, and Will held his breath for the entirety of it.Eventually Longineu said, _“I’ve never had a boyfriend before….”_

 

“Me either,” Will blurted out immediately. 

 

_“I’ve, um, never dated anyone and had it matter, y’know?”_

 

“It’s just,” Will added.“Like, guys aren’t usually fuckbuddies with their roommates, so….” 

 

_“Is that what we are?Fuckbuddies?”_

 

“What do you want to be?” 

 

Another pause.This conversation was killing him.Killing them both, probably. _“Boyfriends would be… cool?”_

 

“Yeah?”

 

_“I mean it’s been, what?Six months now?At least?”_

 

“Yeah, like six months.”The sick lump that had been settled in Will’s stomach felt like it was melting away.Still, Longineu had said he wanted to be dating, at least kind of.He’d said it would be ‘cool,’ but that didn’t mean he still wanted to move in together.That was a huge thing, and Will was just about to ask about it when his bedroom door opened again and Jon stepped in. 

 

“Spencer said you have to do the dishes.” 

 

“I’m busy,” Will snapped, dropping the phone to his side and sighing.

 

“Spencer said-“ 

 

“ _Okay_ ,” Will interrupted, knowing Jon was just going to repeat himself until Will responded the way he wanted.Jon had an annoying way of doing that, and it usually worked.“Give me a minute, okay?” 

 

“Sure.”And then Jon was gone.He had the decency to close the door behind him.Will picked his phone back up. 

 

“They’re _so annoying_ ,” he complained, saying the last two words extra loud so the entire apartment might here him.He wanted to get his message across. 

 

_“It’ll be better when we move in together,”_ Longineu replied, and Will damn near swallowed his own tongue. 

 

“You… you still want to do that then?” 

 

_“Why wouldn’t I?”_

 

“Oh thank God.”Longineu started to laugh, but then Will’s door was opening again and he was just about ready to chuck his phone at the intruder.Why couldn’t they just leave him _alone_?

 

“I’ve been asking you to do the dishes for three days now,” Spencer snapped, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.Will didn’t bother dropping the phone to his side, staring at Spencer pointedly and hoping he’d go away.Spencer just stared him down.Will rolled his eyes, as obnoxiously as he could. 

 

“I’ll do it in a few minutes.” 

 

“No, you’ll do it right now.” 

 

Will made a face at Spencer and practically whined, “I’m _busy_.” 

 

“If you’re not in the kitchen in the next thirty seconds, I swear-“ 

 

“Fine!” Will snapped.“Fine, whatever, get out.” 

 

“Watch yourself.You would never talk to Zack that way,” Spencer said, pointing a finger at Will and everything.Will wanted to bite it off. 

 

He grumbled, “Sorry, talk to you later,” into the phone before hanging up and shoving past Spencer in the doorway. 

 

“You’re not Zack, y’know,” he muttered under his breath, knowing he was pissing Spencer off and not feeling sorry about it at all.“Fucking control freak,” he grumbled to himself as he stomped into the kitchen and turned on the sink, eying their mountain of dirty dishes suspiciously, waiting for something to come crawling out. 

 

“Who does he think he is anyways?” he asked the imaginary cockroaches, hoping Spencer was listening.They didn’t respond, and neither did Spencer, so Will set to work on the dishes he’d been forgetting to do and tried to stop seeing red. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To quote that one fanfic again, "everything happens so much." 
> 
> Chapter ten featured Will's birthday and GED test, Spencer talking with Snake (the drug dealer), Brendon finding out where Ryan lives, and Will and Longineu talking about moving in together. Chapter eleven picks up from there.

_"How do you help someone if they won't let you?"_

_"That's the golden question, Brendon.  I wish I had a better answer for you.  Truth is, you can't."_

 

...

 

Ryan Ross never listened to a word he said.Brendon was certain of it, and also okay with this fact of life.He spoke a lot.He couldn’t blame Ryan for not paying attention. 

 

The thing was, Brendon liked Ryan.Maybe not _like_ -liked Ryan, because those things were complicated, and Ryan was complicated, and Brendon was determined not to make a mess out of this the way he did everything else.But you see, Brendon liked Ryan.He liked hanging out with, and he liked talking to him, and he didn’t want that to end any time soon.Which was why he kept talking. 

 

Ryan was quiet, and that was okay, but it made Brendon nervous.For one, Brendon tended to get nervous whenever things were too quiet for too long.His dad always said he talked too much.“So many words, and nothing to say,” his dad had said.He wasn’t wrong.The other reason, though, was that Brendon was convinced that if he stopped talking, and Ryan never spoke, they’d run out of reasons to hang out with each other.Then Brendon wouldn’t get to see Ryan again. 

 

And Brendon liked this whole “having more than one friend” thing.Sure, Sarah was amazing, but she was only one person.Brendon didn’t want to be the guy with only one friend.He had the pack, sure, but they didn’t count.Brendon lived with them, so they didn’t count as “friends.”They were roommates, or siblings, or something.Pack members.They were also driving Brendon crazy.

 

He knew better, was the thing.He shouldn’t have said anything in the first place, but he was terrible at secrets, and this one was just about eating him alive.Because this was Jon and Spencer, and sure, they’d kissed that one time before, and they’d always been at least a little bit attached at the hip (when they weren’t at each other’s throats), but Brendon didn’t see it going in this direction.

 

Jon, sure.Jon was into that stuff.But Spencer?Brendon’s gay-dar must have been broken, because he wouldn’t have guessed that in a hundred years. 

 

He had actual proof though.Walking in on them defiling the couch was as straightforward as it could get.You didn’t make out with someone if you didn’t like them, and well, Jon and Spencer had always been close. 

 

Brendon wanted to tell Will.He’d meant to, but Will had been missing in action the day it happened, and he’d been too busy giving Brendon the third degree the day after to shut up and listen.After that, it was just hard to get him to sit still for very long, and if Will didn’t want to talk, then Brendon wasn’t going to force him.He didn’t want Will to get sick of him. 

 

He was pretty sure there was something weird going on with him.Now that Will had a job he was out of the apartment all the time, but that was normal.What wasn’t normal was the way Brendon could never manage to track him down at school, during lunch or between classes, or whatever.With Will splitting most of his time between work and Longineu, and being an absolute ghost during school hours, Brendon couldn’t really find any time to talk to him.He found zero time to talk to him when Jon and Spencer weren’t around, and he couldn’t tell that secret in front of them. 

 

So he didn’t tell Will, but he had to tell somebody.Which was why he told Ryan. 

 

Not that it mattered.Ryan didn’t listen to a word he said.His brain was off somewhere else, eyes lost in the horizon of the 7-Eleven parking lot, as they took up a square of sidewalk around the side of the building, legs spread, sipping a shared hot chocolate, and trying to keep warm. 

 

They couldn’t go to Ryan’s motel for reasons Brendon didn’t understand, and they couldn’t go to the apartment, because 1. Ryan was still a secret, and 2. Ryan didn’t want to. 

 

There was a lot going on. 

 

Brendon didn’t talk too much to his therapist about these things, because he didn’t want her to think there was anything to be worried about. 

 

There wasn’t anything to be worried about, but he was sure she’d have something to say about his adults in charge being secretly involved, and one (or all) of his pack members being potentially emotionally unstable.He didn’t want her to worry, because he didn’t want anything to change.Whatever was happening in Brendon’s life he could handle by himself, thank you very much.He wasn’t a little kid despite the fact that everyone treated him like one.They double checked that he took his pills, they nagged incessantly about homework, they told him to eat his vegetables, and they reminded him over and over again about keeping the werewolf thing a secret.As if Brendon couldn’t handle all of that on his own. Worst of all, they didn’t tell him anything.Brendon was kind of sick of it. 

 

He really didn’t think Ryan was listening though, as he chattered on and on about the mess that was his pack members.Two of them apparently fucking -on public property, how dare they- and the other being a total weirdo.He figured he could go on forever, but then Ryan interrupted him, and proved him entirely wrong. 

 

“You should talk to Spencer about that,” he said.Brendon stopped. 

 

“What?”

 

“About the fucking Jon thing,” Ryan added, taking the hot chocolate out of his hand and downing whatever was left in the cup.“If it’s really bothering you that much.It’s kind of shitty for him to keep a secret like that.Ask what’s up.” 

 

Ryan normally didn’t put that many words together at one time, so Brendon was slightly taken aback.He managed to compose himself enough to say, “What? Are you crazy!?”Then he hated himself a little bit, because yeah, snapping at someone was the best way to make them your friend. 

 

Ryan didn’t look effected, though.He shrugged one skinny shoulder and climbed to his feet on awkward giraffe legs.Ryan’s legs were amazing.Brendon was kind of jealous.“Fine.Don’t be a grown-up about it, then,” he said.“I should get home.” 

 

“I’ll walk you!” Brendon offered, springing to his feet.He overbalanced and nearly fell over, but a hand on Ryan’s arm kept him from doing so.Once again, Ryan didn’t seem to mind.He barely seemed to notice that Brendon touched him at all.That was kind of an improvement.

 

“Nah, that’s okay.I should go alone.” 

 

Ryan was always saying weirdly cryptic things like that, and Brendon had learned to stop questioning them.It wasn’t like Ryan would ever answer anyways. 

 

“Sure,” he said.“Okay.Well.Be safe, then.” 

 

“I guess.” 

 

Ryan patted Brendon on the shoulder, then shoved his hands into his jean pockets and ambled off down the sidewalk.Ryan usually didn’t initiate that much physical contact, so Brendon was, for the third time in the last five minutes, flabbergasted.He took a moment to compose himself, watching Ryan go, before turning in the opposite direction and heading towards the apartment. 

 

He’d talk to Spencer then, he figured.Ryan seemed pretty wise for their age.Maybe listening to him would be a good idea. 

 

 

…

 

 

It definitely was not a good idea.Brendon should have known, really, that someone with as few social skills as Ryan wouldn’t know how to handle Spencer.

 

Like most bad ideas, Brendon didn’t see it going bad until the words were already halfway out his mouth.The look on Spencer’s face -probably five different emotions in three and a half seconds- was priceless.Also terrifying.

 

“What did you say?” Spencer eventually settled on, eyebrows furrowing like he was angry, but mouth twitching like he was confused.He was probably both.Brendon shouldn’t have gotten into this. 

 

What he should have said was, ‘Nothing.’ 

 

What he said instead was,“How are you doing?You and Jon, I mean.Like, you know.”Wow, that was clever. 

 

“No, I _don’t_ know,” Spencer responded, but the tone of his voice meant that he definitely knew what Brendon was talking about.People these days seemed to think Brendon was a moron, and he knew he was deflecting and exaggerating, and he’d talk to his doctor about it eventually, but his doctor wasn’t there right then, and Brendon wanted answers. 

 

“You and Jon,” Brendon repeated.“Y’know, the….” He trailed off, replacing words with his tongue pressed against his cheek and a slightly open mouth, hoping to convey the message he didn’t exactly want to verbalize. 

 

“What the _fuck_ , Brendon?” Spencer snapped, and yeah.Message received then.“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” 

 

“Oh come on,” Brendon complained, crossing his arms over his chest because the look on Spencer’s face was pretty intimidating and Brendon didn’t handle those things well, but he could at least pretend to. “You guys aren’t exactly subtle.” 

 

Spencer’s expression hardened, and his voice started deepening in the way that made something in Brendon’s chest go tight.Made him want to cower.“Yes we are, because nothing’s happening,” he ground out. 

 

“This has been going on for a while, huh?” Brendon asked.

 

Spencer growled at him, low and dangerous, and it reminded Brendon of being pinned to the wall, of glowing eyes and canines scraping his neck.It also reminded Brendon of belts and yelling and a tall figure lurking in the shadows of his childhood home, waiting for Brendon to walk through the front door.Brendon pushed that thought as far away as he could manage.Deflect, deflect, deflect. 

 

“Are you guys boyfriends?” 

 

“No!” Spencer snapped, and just as the front door opened, Spencer practically yelled, “Jon and I aren’t _anything_ , okay?It doesn’t fucking matter.” 

 

“Oh,” Jon’s voice said from the doorway.Brendon’s eyes snapped over to him, looking wrinkled and tired in his work clothes.He’d picked up extra hours for someone, pulling a shift from four a.m. to three p.m.He looked exhausted, but he’d said the money would be worth it.Brendon wasn’t so sure about that, just then. 

 

“Well,” Jon said, when Spencer and Brendon hadn’t said anything.Spencer’s heart was beating double time in his chest and Brendon could smell exactly how much he was freaking out.“That’s how it is, then?” 

 

“I’m going out,” Spencer said immediately, breaking out of his statuesque posture and grabbing his wallet off the kitchen counter.“Groceries,” he said.“Back in an hour.” 

 

Apparently he wasn’t able to get out fast enough, the way he jammed his feet into shoes and brushed past Jon in the doorway, damn near shoulder-checking him into the wall.He grabbed his coat and his car keys, and then he slammed the apartment door and was gone.Brendon and Jon were left standing in silence, not quite looking at each other.Eventually Jon spoke up. 

 

“Probably shouldn’t talk about it,” Jon said.“He always runs off when he’s pissed.He’ll come back, don’t worry.” 

 

Brendon knew that already.He’d been there a year ago, two years ago.Spencer, though he’d grown up quite a bit, was still the same person he’d always been.Still the shitty teenager running off and scaring the hell out of Zack, even if Zack wasn’t there.Maybe Zack could feel it across the states, some sort of disturbance in the force. 

 

Jokes like that, someone had told him once, were the reason Brendon only had two and a half friends.

 

Irrelevant.Brendon couldn’t help but worry.He wasn’t even sure what he was worried about, just knowing he was worried in general.It was Saturday.He’d already talked to his therapist at their session earlier that day, and Sarah was away for the weekend on a family thing.Brendon didn’t have a good excuse for getting out of there, away from the anger Jon was trying to pretend wasn’t bubbling in his gut. 

 

He said, “Sorry,” and disappeared into his room, deciding that keeping quiet might be best right now.He hoped Will came home soon, or even Spencer, though that would probably just lead to him and Jon fighting again.They argued a lot lately.Brendon tried to convince himself that it wasn’t his fault, but he wasn’t sure he could swing that this time.He’d been a pretty active part of this one.

 

“Shit,” he said to his ceiling, and he figured that he wouldn’t be able to think about all of these things if he wasn’t human, so with his door firmly shut he stripped his clothes off, tossing them into a pile by the dresser, and rolled his shoulders before sinking, four paws hitting the floor as he stretched his back and swung his tail, waiting for the peace that came from having sharper senses and foggier thoughts.Once there, he hopped onto Will’s bed -a familiar scent- and curled up with his nose tucked under his tail. 

 

 

…

 

 

 

Spencer was pissed.Had he handled that well?Not really.He was actually pretty ashamed of that -yelling at Brendon, slamming out of the apartment- but right now he was too pissed to feel guilty.He’d worry about that later. 

 

The look on Jon’s face…. God, Spencer had fucked up there, and thinking about it did nothing but piss him off further.Jon had no right to look at him like that, like Spencer had done something wrong.What Spencer said was entirely true.He and Jon _weren’t_ anything, at least not in the way that Brendon had suggested.They were pack mates, yes.They were friends.Jon was his right hand man, but they weren’t anything else than that.They weren’t boyfriends, and Jon didn’t get to look at Spencer like he was breaking his heart.Like Spencer was being mean.Spencer wasn’t being mean. 

 

Jon had gotten them into this, with his incessant suggestions and pushing and… and everything.It wasn’t Spencer’s idea, and it didn’t matter.Jon didn’t get to be mad at Spencer for telling the truth. 

 

Spencer could have easily gone to the grocery store in town, the one he always went to, but that felt like just a bit more effort than Spencer was willing to exert.Some of the cashiers knew his name.They’d want to talk.He might run into people from school, or his parent’s old friends who would say weird things about how tall Spencer had gotten, and how were his parents doing?As if Spencer was a good son and kept in touch.As if his mom wasn’t screening his calls, and Spencer wasn’t ignoring his dad’s. 

 

No, Spencer didn’t have the patience for any of those conversations.He turned left, heading down the winding highway from their town to the next.The drive would do him good, and it wasn’t far.He drove it every day for work.He could get groceries in the town over, which was big enough that people probably wouldn’t recognize him. 

 

He _could_ go to the gym and burn some of this off that way, but then he’d have to talk to Tommy.Tommy would ask how he was doing, ask about Zack, make comments that were supposed to be funny but Spencer wouldn’t have the humor to appreciate today.Spencer would act like an asshole, and Tommy would call Zack and ask what was going on with his boys, and then Zack would call Spencer with a worried lecture.As if Zack could be any fucking help from all the way across the country. 

 

Spencer dug around in his coat pocket for a pill he was sure he’d left there, and allowed himself to feel victorious when his fingers found it and unearthed it along with a piece of lint.He brushed the lint away and swallowed the pill.The others, the refill he’d gotten from Snake, were hiding in their plastic bag in the pill bottle, tucked away under Spencer’s mattress.He’d moved them from their original hiding place.He was the only one who ever remembered to run their bedding through the wash, so his secret was once again safe for the time being.Jon believed he’d quit, and nobody else had any idea.That, at least, was under control.

 

When it snowed the way it had been the last few weeks, the side roads were a pain in the ass to maneuver.The only one they plowed properly was Franklin, the street that ran straight through downtown all the way past the college at the city’s edge, and as much as Spencer hated that road and it’s inappropriate number of stop lights, he’d rather face that than try to drive through two feet of heavy snow on the unplowed backroads.

 

It wasn’t too bad, actually, until he was approaching the court house about half a mile away from the store he was trying to get to.There were cars parked along both sides of the road, and that, plus the slushy roads, were making people extra cautious (ergo, slow).Spencer rolled along, squinting out the windshield and wondering what kind of event could be going on in January that pulled this much attention.It was cold as hell outside, but Spencer could easily hear the rumble of too many voices in one place, and he could see a crowd clogging up the lawn in front of the courthouse. 

 

Spencer saw picket signs and tried to look away, because he already knew what they were going to say, and being told that he was a disgrace of nature was the last thing he needed for his mood.Spencer meant to look away, he really did, but his eyes caught a hot spot in the crowd, where an old man stood hunched over a cane, staring across the street passively as raging people surrounded him and screamed. 

 

Spencer didn’t listen to what they were saying.He couldn’t bring himself to.He recognized that wolf, though.He was old, and he’d stood at the back of the pack those nights they’d had confrontations in the woods.He hadn’t raised a hand against Spencer and his pack himself, but he’d stood by and watched as someone else did.He was part of the pack that was giving Spencer hell.Spencer growled and tightened his hands on the steering wheel, telling himself that the old man deserved it as he drove past.

 

He made it all the way to the grocery store parking lot before turning around, which was, admittedly, farther than he thought he’d get.Spencer found himself slamming his fist into his thigh in frustration before jerking the wheel, sending the car into a donut as he darted back onto Franklin Street and towards the courthouse. 

 

The crowd was still there when he arrived.Of course they were.Where would they have gone in the three minutes Spencer was out of sight?With no regards for the traffic around him (which wasn’t that busy, anyways.They could cope), Spencer slammed on his breaks right next to the swarming crowd, punched his hazard lights on, and nearly got his door ripped off when he threw it open and rushed around the back of his car. 

 

There were people honking at him, but Spencer didn’t care about that.There were drivers yelling in frustration, and most of the crowd was still yelling, too.Those who weren’t had turned their attention to Spencer, glaring at him as if they _knew_ , and fuck.Maybe they did.Spencer hoped they didn’t. 

 

They were all human.Spencer could smell that much.The scent on the old man was wolf, no doubt about it, and there was a flash of recognition in his eyes when he looked at Spencer.There was also a flash of guilt. 

 

So they were on the same page, then.God, sometimes Spencer hated himself. 

 

“Leave him alone!” he shouted at the crowd, who were waving their stupid signs and yelling their stupid slurs and looking at Spencer as if he were the devil himself.“What did this man ever do to you people?” 

 

Spencer didn’t wait for an answer, and he tried to tune out the “Monster!” and “You ought to be killed!” messages that were hurled at him.He stood close to the old man, putting his body between him and the crowd the best he could, and said, “You don’t have to take this.Come on, let’s go.” 

 

The old man raised his head to look at Spencer.Spencer towered at least a foot over the man, who was hunched with age, though he probably hadn’t been very tall in his prime either.The look in his eyes was confused, but Spencer just met his stare and nodded deliberately, trying to say that he knew, and he was helping anyways. 

 

How could he not? 

 

“I’m waiting for my ride,” the man explained, looking skeptical. 

 

“You can call them from my cellphone.Let me drive you home.”He kept his voice gentle despite the noise around them, trying not to sound like he was giving orders. Bossing old people around was a dick move, and bossing around old werewolves was probably a bad idea. 

 

He added a, “Please,” and the man nodded, adjusting his grip on his cane as he did so. 

 

“Alright,” he said, and Spencer kept close, trying to act as a buffer as he walked the man to his car, which continued to idle in the street.The crowd followed them, getting increasingly louder and angrier.Someone threw an empty can that hit Spencer in the shoulder.He didn’t respond, just opened his car door and let the old man climb inside. 

 

Once he was secure, Spencer locked and shut the door, then rushed around to his side of the car.He climbed in and threw them back into traffic, fastening his seatbelt as they went.He was a good few blocks down the road before he realized he didn’t know where he was going. 

 

“Where’s your place, sir?” he asked, digging in his pocket for his cellphone and holding it out.“Here, you can call your ride.” 

 

The man was still looking at Spencer with that suspicious squint, but it was understandable.If Spencer himself was an old man who’d just been half-rescued, half-kidnapped by some nineteen year old kid that hated him, well, Spencer would be pretty suspicious too.The man gave his address, but he held the phone and didn’t bother to call anyone. 

 

“What’s your name?” Spencer asked after another silent minute, trying to break the quiet into something that was easier to handle. 

 

The man set the phone aside and folded his hands in his lap.“Henry,” he said.Classic old guy name.“You do know who I am, don’t you?” 

 

“Yes, sir,” Spencer answered, glancing in his mirrors before making a left turn.They had to go all the way back to their own town and through to the edge, to a house up in the mountains.Spencer was pretty sure, at least.Henry would hopefully correct him if he turned wrong. 

 

“Why are you calling me that?” the guy asked, apparently honestly confused, a reaction that had Spencer perplexed as well.

 

“Why not?” he offered with a shrug. 

 

“You’re an Alpha, aren’t you?” 

 

He was sure there were people who would argue that, no, Spencer was _not._ In fact, Spencer was sure there were men in Henry’s pack who would be pretty adamant about it.He didn’t mention that.Just said, “Yes, I am.” 

 

Henry, once again, looked a tad confused.

 

“It’s not common,” he explained.“For Alphas to use titles for anyone, especially not an omega.” 

 

“Omega?” Spencer asked.He’d heard the word used before, once by Zack and maybe a few times by Jon, but they hadn’t actually explained what that meant.Wolf culture -a lot of the stuff Jon had tried to explain to him- was pretty hard to grasp.Most of it sounded overrated.Medieval, even. 

 

“This is the problem with Bittens,” the man murmured.“Puppies.Such puppies, all of you.Makes everything harder.”Spencer knew he should probably be insulted by that, but he just had more questions.He glanced at the man, hopefully encouraging him to go on.Spencer didn’t know what to ask, but he sure as hell wanted this man to answer. 

 

“An omega-” Henry continued, “-is the third level.Lowest in the pack besides children.Rogues aren’t usually considered.” 

 

“A rogue is a wolf who goes off by themselves,” Spencer said, hoping to fill in what he did already know.“Someone who doesn’t have a pack?” 

 

Henry nodded.“It’s a miserable life.Alphas, of course, are at the top.The Alpha, that is.Underneath him directly is their beta and their mate.” 

 

“Is that not the same person?” 

 

Henry grinned at Spencer the way Spencer’s grandmother used to when she thought he’d said something dumb.It was a fond smile, almost, but it made Spencer feel like a child.Like a puppy, as Henry had said.As Jon always said.“That’s not wise,” he said.“Too much can happen there.” 

 

Spencer didn’t know what that meant exactly, but he didn’t ask, wanting Henry to continue his explanation.Henry apparently understood that and carried on while Spencer drove.“Any alphas in the pack who are not the Alpha, outrank omegas, but that’s a technicality.Omegas are not alphas, and they are not strong.They are in the pack for the support of the pack, for the family.They don’t have power.” 

 

“Oh.” 

 

“Alphas tend to treat their own omegas kindly, but you wouldn’t expect it from an outsider,” Henry said, and something about that settled wrong in Spencer’s gut. 

 

“Why not?That doesn’t seem fair.” 

 

“You care for your own, not for others.”Henry’s words rattled around in Spencer’s head as he contemplated his own pack.He thought about Zack, the Alpha who’d taken in three kids he’d just met, accepting… caring for someone who wasn’t his.By technicalities, it seemed, Zack didn’t have to care about anyone besides Jon, and yet he did. 

 

Spencer thought about Jon, who was maybe his beta but maybe wasn’t, who wasn’t his mate but was definitely something whether Spencer liked it or not.They hadn’t talked about it, and neither Jon nor Zack had ever brought up the beta thing.

 

“Alphas receive the utmost respect from their omegas,” Henry added.“And often, by default, from other omegas.It’s just proper.” 

 

Spencer thought about Will, the impudent little shit who would sooner throw something at Spencer’s head than follow an order without hassle.He thought about Brendon, who more often than not brushed off what Spencer said, who hadn’t stopped earlier when Spencer told him to.He wondered what Henry would think of all this. 

 

“Has your pack always been in Colorado?” Spencer asked, changing the subject and wondering how old Henry’s pack even was.The Alpha in Henry’s pack wasn’t too old, only in his thirties.Who had been Alpha before that?How many Alphas had Henry had? 

 

“Since I was a child,” Henry answered. “My father was Alpha, my sister after him, and now my nephew.” 

 

“Wow.” 

 

Henry indicated a building with a shaking finger, pointing to a large house that resembled a wood cabin.Spencer pulled carefully into the driveway and shut his car off before going around to open Henry’s door for him, because Alpha or not, Spencer had been raised with manners.The old guy continued to look at him curiously, but he took the arm Spencer offered him and let Spencer walk him up to the front door. 

 

It caught Spencer by surprise when Henry knocked instead of opening the door himself.He was about to ask, but then the door was opening and Henry was hanging his head, closing his eyes. 

 

“There was a run-in in town,” he said.“This man here has done our pack a great honor.” 

 

Spencer hadn’t been called a man before, and he’d never had someone tell him he had honor.The pack Alpha, who was bulking and scowling as always, looked Spencer up and down.Despite the comments from Henry, Spencer couldn’t help feeling childish.Part of him wanted to puff his chest out and make a comment -the alpha part, probably- but something else was telling him kneel, to step back, to lower his eyes.He did neither of those things, simply holding the Alpha’s gaze until he nodded, expression breaking into something softer. 

 

“A surprise,” he said.Spencer wanted to explain that it was nothing, really, but instead he stayed silent.“A favor like this will not be forgotten.Thank you.” 

 

Spencer swallowed hard, feeling way over his head in every way possible. “You’re welcome.” 

 

“Perhaps we’ve misjudged you, Bitten,” he said.“Perhaps Zack isn’t as big of an idiot as I thought.” 

 

That comment, apparently a compliment wrapped up carefully to look like something else, was as confusing as everything else that day.“Thank you,” Spencer said again, shaking the Alpha’s hand when he held it out.The grip was firm, so Spencer kept his just as firm, hoping that was the right thing to do.The man grinned.It was. 

 

“Perhaps there are bigger things to worry about right now,” Henry suggested, still not looking up at the Alpha in the doorway. 

 

“There are,” the man agreed.“We should focus on fighting the real threat here, not each other.” 

 

The sudden turn in conversation made Spencer immediately alert, or at least, somehow more alert than he had been before.As if by instinct, his ears hyper-focused, catching traffic noises from nearby busy streets and people noises from inside the house.He felt the urge to sneeze, slightly overwhelmed, and the hair on the back of his neck prickled.“The real threat?” he asked. 

 

“You’re too young to bother yourself with that now.Let the real packs handle it while that’s still an option.” 

 

Slightly stung by the comment, Spencer wanted to protest and insist that this guy tell him what he was talking about.Real threat?What real threat?Did he mean the protesters?Did he mean the hunters that occasionally came through town?Did he mean something else? 

 

“Thank you for helping my omega today.You may go.” 

 

_You may go._ It didn’t get much more forward than that.Feeling at a loss, Spencer nodded and carefully made his way down the steps, across the icy driveway and back to his car.His mind was reeling as he drove all the way back to the apartment before remembering he’d gone out for groceries.“Damn it…” he muttered to himself, turning the car back on and submitting himself to the risks of the local grocery store.It would have to do.Spencer was cooled off by now, confused and worried rather than angry.He didn’t need to take a longer drive to soothe his anger, and it would likely just make him more anxious. 

 

Real threat?What the hell did that even mean?

 

 

 

 

**…**

 

 

Ryan was making his way back from a drink run, hands empty, when Dahvie caught his eye and crooked a finger.Ryan didn’t want to go.He’d just finished a lap dance for a sweaty middle aged man whose beer gut likely weighed as much as Ryan did.The man had gross, clammy hands that gripped at Ryan’s ass and touched his neck at one point.He smelled like coffee breath and scotch, and Ryan wanted a million showers.Maybe a million and one.He was hoping to get a break serving drinks instead of personally attending to people.That wasn’t going to happen. 

 

Dahvie beckoned.Ryan made his way over, not putting any kind of finesse to the way he walked as he got there since whoever Dahvie was talking with didn’t even spare Ryan a glance.He stopped just behind Dahvie, two fingers gently touching his elbow to make his presence known without intruding on their conversation or interrupting anyone.There when they needed him, silent otherwise.Dahvie liked it that way. 

 

“Here he is now,” Dahvie told the man, about thirty seconds after Ryan had materialized at his side.The hand on Ryan’s back allowed him to step into their circle, and he looked up at the man almost hesitantly, going for young and susceptible.Guys liked that, usually.

 

They talked, the man grinning almost bashfully himself as he looked Ryan over.Dahvie whispered into Ryan’s ear, after directing the man’s attention to the show Sasha was putting on onstage- something about the club offering a full range of possibilities.Dahvie whispered to Ryan, “A normal in the Rose Room.See if you can persuade him into more.” 

 

A normal meant a lap dance, meaning this man was either too shy or too decent to even think of asking for anything else, even if Dahvie suggested it.This was the kind who asked how old Ryan was, asked if he was okay, that kind of thing.It was sweet, in a way, but also nobody’s business.Ryan hadn’t needed adults to take care of him since he was nine years old.He didn’t need it now, no matter what this guy -or Dahvie- seemed to believe. 

 

With his instructions, Ryan changed his demeanor from innocent twink to seductive playboy, adopting a smirk and a raised eyebrow, reaching out and running his fingertips down the sleeve of the man’s nice dress shirt.Ryan was amused by people who dressed up to come to a place like this.It seemed out of place, or like they didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, but the buttons were fun to undo in a strip tease. 

 

“C’mon, buddy.I’ll take good care of you.” 

 

The man turned his eyes to Ryan, expression different than a moment earlier.He looked angry almost, and when he snapped his eyes to Dahvie he looked even more-so. 

 

His voice was biting when he said, “I thought you said he was a sub.” 

 

“He is,” Dahvie answered immediately, pointy fingernails pinching Ryan’s lower back right above his hip.Ryan hissed in a breath, soundless in the loud club, and dropped to his knees on the spot, following the unspoken order.“He’s usually much more behaved, I assure you.” 

 

Some warning from Dahvie would have been nice so that he wouldn’t have made a jackass of himself.He spared a glance up at the client, finding him glowering back, something sadistic in his expression, before Ryan ducked his head again and closed his eyes.Fuck. 

 

“I’m sure he just needs a reminder,” the man said, finger tapping at Ryan’s jaw.Ryan didn’t move a muscle.Dahvie didn’t like flinching.“Hard limits?” 

 

He wasn’t talking to Ryan, so Ryan didn’t speak.Dahvie said, “No permanent marks.No blood or other bodily fluids.Don’t mark his face, and use a condom.” 

 

“Easy,” the man said, fucking sneered.Ryan suppressed a shiver.Nothing good ever came from that tone of voice.“We’ll take good care of you, pretty boy, won’t we?” 

 

Ryan didn’t know if he wanted a response or not, but he figured a proper one wouldn’t hurt.He turned his face up, looking up through his hair at the dark figure left by the club’s shadows, and said, “Yes sir.”The man grinned.Correct answer.Pass go.Collect $200 (maybe, maybe not.When Dahvie arranged the deals, the money went straight to him, not Ryan.Ryan had no idea what he was worth anymore). 

 

“Stand up, slut.Follow.”Ryan rose to his feet, gracefully even with his burning, exhausted muscles, and followed without a word.Dahvie had said talk him into more, but apparently his mistake and improper demeanor had been all it took.Whatever was about to happen, Ryan wasn’t looking forward to it, but it’s what Dahvie wanted, so it’s not like he had the right to argue.

 

Maybe this had been Dahvie’s intent all along.Maybe Ryan was being punished for something.He couldn’t be sure.He couldn’t really be sure of anything anymore, and it wasn’t within his rights to ask.It was better not to know anyways. 

 

For now, he needed to focus.The next night was the full moon, and Dahvie couldn’t make him work during it.He just had to hold on for that.If he could make it to that, he’d be fine.He followed the man across the room and towards the red doors, holding his breath and bracing himself for whatever came next. 

 

…

 

 

The weather was nice that night, cold but nice.The skies were clear, and the moon shown on them fully, lighting up the town and casting shadows all over the snow decorated forest floor, which sparkled in some places and loomed in others.They’d gotten there on time, with time to spare, even, and it had been a pretty uneventful evening. 

 

Spencer was acting just as anxious as he did on every full moon these days, but it was dialed down almost, like he didn’t know where to direct that energy.Like it was overflowing instead of bubbling over.Jon didn’t know what that was about.There had been a discussion,

 

- _“I’m so ready to fight them, tonight.Bring it on!”_

 

_“No, you’re going to behave yourself.”_

 

_“But what if they-“_

 

_“They won’t.Now stop.”_ \- 

 

but Will didn’t push, and Spencer didn’t explain.Brendon was too busy climbing a tree to get involved, and Jon took it upon himself to stand underneath said tree and catch Brendon if he fell. 

 

He didn’t, thankfully.Jon wasn’t sure he could catch that much dead weight without getting hit in the head and knocking himself out.Brendon got down just fine on his own, though, and before long the night was upon them and they were making their way through the woods. 

 

The snow was cold under Jon’s paws, but they hadn’t been outside long enough for it to feel bad.The air smelt clean, like winter, and was full of rabbits and bears and deer somewhere far off.Jon wanted to go chase them.He didn’t.He jumped on Spencer and tumbled with him, trying to get the puppy to play because Jon wanted to.Brendon and Will were playing, cantering through the woods.They leapt over logs and streams and onto each other.Brendon howled, and Jon joined in.Several someones off in the distance howled too. 

 

Brendon stopped, slinking back to Spencer and hiding behind him.Jon sniffed the air and growled.Spencer didn’t do much of anything.He proceeded forward, his calm demeanor pacifying Will and getting the younger wolf to walk alongside them, ears flattened nervously. 

 

It wasn’t much farther -or maybe it was.It didn’t feel far- when others joined them in a clearing.Both groups stopped.The other pack was familiar, same as always.It was bigger than their own, and Jon felt scared about it.He stepped up next to Spencer as back up.Spencer was staring at them, staring at the Alpha, who eventually threw his head back and howled. 

 

His own pack joined in, and then Spencer.Jon followed suit, as did Brendon and Will, and once that was done, the other pack turned and trotted away.Jon felt better after that.He jumped on Spencer’s back and bit at his ear.This time Spencer played.

 

 

…

 

 

“Okay,” Jon asked later, scrubbing at his hair in a unavailing attempt to get the mud out of it.He’d have to shower when they got home, like deep-clean shower.He wasn’t getting into bed like this.Spencer swiped at the mud on his own cheek and raised an eyebrow at Jon, shrugging on his jacket and popping the collar up to counter the cold. 

 

“Okay?” he asked. 

 

Jon added, “What was all that about?” and was met with a blank stare. 

 

“What was…?”

 

“The other pack?” Jon prompted.He squinted into his tennis shoe and shook it out before slipping it on, remembering a horrible spider bite he’d gotten on his ankle a few years back.Spiders hibernated during the winter, but Jon wouldn’t put it past them to hibernate in his shoe.Going to the hospital was too much of a process for him to risk possibly dangerous spider bites, and brown recluse spiders were secretly one of his biggest fears. 

 

Spencer maybe wasn’t thinking about spiders, or maybe didn’t care.He slipped his shoes on without a second thought, but since it wasn’t followed by screaming, he was probably fine.Snakes could hide in shoes too.Snakes, and maybe frogs, though not in the winter.Jon would hate himself if he killed a frog that way.

 

He might have been a little bit moon drunk. 

 

He tuned out the sounds of Brendon and Will arguing -not really arguing.It was mainly Brendon yelling “Carry me!” with varying degrees of dramatic enunciation, and Will saying “No,” with varying degrees of annoyance, complaining even louder when Brendon slumped boneless against him- and leaned on a tree next to Spencer, fighting to keep his eyes open. 

 

“I talked to their Alpha,” Spencer answered after a minute, clothes straightened and put together properly, shoes tied, hair tamed as much as possible.“We’re good.” 

 

“We’re good?” Jon asked.“That’s it?What happened?” 

 

Spencer sighed and rolled his eyes, like Jon was testing his patience or something.“I helped out their omega.The old man.We’re good now.” 

 

“Huh,” Jon said. 

 

“Yeah.”Spencer raked his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face and wincing at a tangle.He smoothed it back down and whistled one quick, sharp note.“Stop fighting.Let’s go.” 

 

“You can’t just whistle at us,” Will complained, wandering over anyways.“We’re not dogs.” 

 

Brendon licked the side of Will’s face, possibly saying that he was a dog, actually. Possibly just for fun.Will narrowed his eyes and wiped the slobber off with his sleeve. 

 

“Sicko.” 

 

“Come on,” Spencer repeated. 

 

The town was empty and sleeping on their walk home, the only stragglers were rare cars with exhausted people driving to work and a tired looking girl walking home, wearing a blue diner uniform under her coat and blocking the morning out with ear buds.No other wolves lived downtown, so they didn’t pass any other packs on their walk back to the apartment.They never did. 

 

When they got to the front door, Spencer pushed the door open and scowled at a piece of paper on it, warning people to stay inside on the night of the full moon.Spencer tore it off the door and shoved it into his pocket, and Jon, wanting to comfort him in some way, caught Spencer’s hand in his and squeezed. 

 

He felt Spencer flinch, and watched as he cast a wide eyed glance up at Brendon and Will, who weren’t paying the slightest bit of attention to them as they trudged up the stairs, still bickering lightly.Spencer relaxed, squeezing Jon’s hand back and letting their fingers stay intertwined the entire walk up the stairs to their apartment.He only let go when he had to unlock the door, and Jon grinned triumphantly to himself, feeling like he won something. 

 

“Night,” Will mumbled the moment he stepped inside, rubbing sleepily at his eyes and shuffling off towards his bedroom.Brendon bounced along after him, having reached the hyperactive level of exhaustion.He was bouncing off the walls, sure, but he’d be out like a light the moment his head touched the pillow.Or Jon hoped he would, at least.Brendon said his sleeping got a lot better since they’d figured his medicine out, but sometimes he still struggled with it.Jon hoped tonight wasn’t one of those nights. 

 

Jon followed Spencer to their bedroom, daydreaming fondly of warm clothes and a long shower.He couldn’t wait to pass out in bed and leave anything else that mattered for later in the day.He said, “It was nice of you to help their omega.” Spencer shrugged.

 

“I’m just glad that shit’s over,” he responded.“His name is Henry.”

 

“What?”

 

Spencer glanced sideways at Jon.“The old man… his name is Henry.He was cool.Talked about werewolf stuff.” 

 

“You asked his name?” He knew the question came out wrong the second he asked it.Jon was just surprised Spencer had talked to him for that long, or at all, actually, considering that just a little while ago he’d been pretty intent on trying to beat the entire rival pack into the ground.But the question came out wrong, and Spencer was already bristling, going on the offensive.Everyone was testy the morning after the moon, sleep deprived and still a little feral.A little rough around the edges.

 

“Why does everyone keep acting like this is so weird?” Spencer snapped.Jon raised his hands up in front of him, trying to call a truce before a fight got started.He was too tired for that.

 

“It’s not,” Jon reassured.“That’s not what I meant.Never mind.”

 

“It’s manners.” 

 

“Okay.”Jon couldn’t have this conversation right now.He wanted to sleep for a million years.“Want to shower together?” he asked.Maybe it was a peace offering.Maybe he was just being an opportunist.He figured that when it came to these things, he might as well just go for it.Sometimes Spencer said yes, and that was awesome.Sometimes Spencer said no, and that was fine.Spencer didn’t usually initiate things himself, though, and Jon would never know if he didn’t ask.He believed in seizing opportunities where he could. 

 

“No,” Spencer said. 

 

“Okay.” Jon bumped his forehead gently against Spencer’s shoulder as he passed and headed for the bathroom, trying to get Spencer to soften up again and stop being so pissy.Jon wouldn’t be able to sleep if Spencer was all mad, not that close to him in the same room.

 

Jon went to the bathroom and turned the shower up hot.He settled in under the near-scalding water, sighing happily.It felt great against his aching shoulders, and feeling the grime of the night get washed away was heavenly.His eyes felt sleep heavy, so he let them slip shut and only managed to wash his hair before sleep became too tempting and he started to doze off under the hot spray.Not wanting to actually pass out in the shower, Jon shut off the water and toweled off.He slipped into a pair of boxers and tossed his neglected pajama pants on the floor, too warm for those things, even in January. Spencer was already asleep when Jon tucked himself in, but he murmured goodnight anyways, and then he was out almost as soon as he settled in.

 

 

…

 

 

If Will had fallen under the assumption -which he had- that the strange atmosphere in the pack would improve after the holidays had come and passed, then he would be sorely mistaken -which he was-.He had to admit though, he was surprised how long the Christmas tree lasted.It was there all December, and then all January after that.It wasn’t until the first week of February that Will came home from work and found Brendon and Spencer boxing it up. 

 

“What’s up?” he asked.Jon was out on the balcony, and since Will could pick up the pungent scent of marijuana through the sliding glass door, it was pretty obvious what he was up to.He used to smoke more, Will remembered, but he wasn’t sure what made Jon slow down.Whatever it was, something had started it up again, and judging by the sullen mood in the apartment and the cloudy Jon on the balcony, Will was ready to bet that there had been another argument. 

 

Brendon was seemingly unaffected by whatever was going on with those two.He looked up from the fake tree branches he was wrestling into a box, and there was a spare thread of garland caught in the hinge of his glasses and a Santa hat on his head.“It’s officially over, Willy.Get with the times.” 

 

“Never call me ‘Willy’ again.”Will dropped his backpack, which was mostly full of library books these days, and went over to help Brendon with the tree branches before he broke something.The books in Will’s bag currently were _Visualizing Russia: Pavlov’s Take on Communism; The Revolt of the Fairies and the Elves;_ and _Cooking for Dummies._ Will was learning lots of things now that he’d quit school. 

 

The last book on that list was mostly to help when Longineu and him moved in together, which may or may not have still been happening.Will was kind of too afraid to ask.He still needed to talk to Longineu’s aunt, talk to Jon and Spencer, pack, and figure out what exactly he needed to figure out for living by himself. 

 

Then again, his primary adult supervision was currently holding a tiny Christmas tree in his mouth while he puzzled over how to fit a different tiny Christmas tree into its styrofoam packaging.His other adult supervision was smoking up on the balcony, and his actual legal guardian was all the way across the country.

 

Maybe he was already at least a little prepared for whatever living on his own entailed. Still, he needed to learn the basics, like how to cook eggs, and how to figure out what kind of lightbulb you needed to replace the ones that burned out.Y’know, the basics.

 

Will supposed he wouldn’t have to worry too much about strange moods once he moved out of the apartment.Sure, he’d have to deal with Longineu’s moods, but that was fairly easy.Longineu was kind of laid back.He rarely got worked up, and when he did, he was easy to placate. For example, Will had met him after school a couple of days ago, and Longineu had been all pissy about some kids in his last hour class.Something about them repeatedly calling him “african american.” 

 

_“I’m fuckin’ French,”_ he’d said, more than once. _“I was born in France!My grandparents were born in France!I’ve never even been to Africa!”_  

 

Will just let him rant and threatened to go pick a fight with whoever’d been fucking with him.He played it up real good, acting like he was actually about to do it and pointing out people across the parking lot, hollering, _“Is that them!?Come here and fight like a man!”_ It drew all kinds of attention to them, and trying to shut Will up had Longineu laughing so hard that he couldn’t even manage to be angry anymore. 

 

Then they’d parked Longineu’s car behind the truck stop and made out in the backseat until Mr. Parson started calling for dinner. 

 

Problem solved.Easy as that. 

 

“You okay?” Will asked.Spencer had just stood up to carry a box back to Zack’s room, and he stopped and looked down at Will over the edge of the box. 

 

“Of course,” he said, voice unsure.He shifted the box in his arms.“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

 

“You seem off,” Will said with a shrug.Brendon was making a weird face, eyes wide and eyebrows up, glancing off at the floor and pulling his mouth into a frown.Spencer shrugged and carried the box away, and Will turned to Brendon.“What?” he asked. 

 

“I already tried, dude, don’t bother.” 

 

“Tried what?” 

 

Brendon cast a guilty glance between Jon out on the balcony and the hallway Spencer had disappeared down.He chewed on his bottom lip, obviously aware that they could both hear what was being said if they wanted to. 

 

“It’s nothing,” Brendon said.He scratched at the back of his neck and stood up, then set one box on top of another who’s flaps refused to stay down because of over-packing.His attention perked to the side just before the buzzer went off, and he said, “That’s Sarah.” 

 

“I got it.”Will heaved a sigh and hauled himself to his feet to go answer the buzzer and let her in.Brendon carried the boxes to Zack’s room, yelling a warning- ‘everyone act human, for fuck’s sake!’- as if they would ever do anything else.A minute later Sarah was in their apartment, sporting an oversized football jersey and taking over the television set, complaining, “What kind of heathens don’t watch the Super Bowl?Come on, people!” 

 

Brendon returned from putting boxes away and abandoned all cleaning attempts.He rolled over the back of the couch and landed on top of Sarah.“Ew, sports,” he said, going entirely limp when Sarah prodded him into a more comfortable position, like the world’s most inconvenient squid. 

 

“A house full of dudes and no one watches football,” she complained.Brendon reached for the remote, and she held it high above her head and turned the volume up. 

 

Will decided to take over the packing where Brendon had left off, but not before messing with Sarah.He stole the remote away and slipped it into his back pocket, just to be annoying.“Get your heteronormativity outta my apartment.” 

 

“Hetero-what?” Brendon asked, twisting around to look at Will and elbowing Sarah in the stomach in the process.“We watch sports! We watch wrestling.” 

 

Spencer came back into the room, arms free of boxes. “We _used_ to watch wrestling.Zack banned it after we broke that lamp.” 

 

“Zack isn’t here,” Will pointed out. 

 

“No.Still banned.” 

 

“Aw.” 

 

“Jon likes sports!He likes hockey!” Brendon piped up again.Sarah scowled and pushed a pillow into his face to shut him up. 

 

The door to the patio slid open, and Jon wandered in with a pungent cloud clinging to his clothes.“Jon likes what?” he asked. He looked at Spencer, who glared and looked away.Weird. 

 

Brendon was having little success talking through the pillow, so Will helped him out.“Hockey.” 

 

“Are the Black Hawks playing?” There was a hopeful tone to his voice as he asked.Will shook his head. 

 

“No.” 

 

Jon shrugged and climbed onto the couch next to Brendon and Sarah.“Oh look,” he said.“The Super Bowl.Did the Bears make it?” 

 

“No,” Sarah said, eyes fixed intently on the screen. 

 

Jon sighed. “Then I don’t care.”He raised his voice a bit and called to the kitchen, “Spencer, will you get me a beer?” 

 

“Are your legs broken?” Spencer shot back, and Will was honestly surprised he answered at all.Jon sighed again, entirely playful dramatics. 

 

“Worst wife ever,” he complained. 

 

“Fuck _off,_ Walker.” 

 

“You see what I have to deal with?” Jon asked Sarah, who nodded her head solemnly.The two of them turned around to stick their tongues out at Spencer’s back, and Will pressed a hand over his mouth to silence a laugh. 

 

“Is this a party?” he asked after a while.“Can I invite Longineu?” 

 

“Might as well,” Spencer sighed, settling down at the table and pulling open his laptop.“I’m making lasagna.Not like one more mouth will make a difference.” 

 

“You’re the queen of Italian food, Spin!” Jon yelled from the couch.Spencer snorted. 

 

“Sure.” 

 

So things were weird, but they weren’t any weirder than they ever were.Whatever tension had been swarming the apartment had apparently dissipated, leaving behind it comfortable silences interrupted by Sarah and Jon shouting at the TV. 

 

Will occupied himself with rolling up strands of garland and chasing down spare Christmas decorations that they’d managed to forget about.He texted Longineu and convinced him to come over, knowing he didn’t have any family thing going.Longineu’s family was big on soccer.Actual American football?Not so much. 

 

Will had to admit that he was nervous, stomach turning itself into knots as he wrapped strands of lights into tight bundles and dropped them into boxes.It wasn’t that the pack hadn’t met Longineu before.Brendon had hung out with them multiple times, and Will was sure that Spencer and Jon had met him at least once.But that was before… things.That was before moving in together things, and whatever weird thoughts had started forming in Will’s head, taking their arrangement from causal fuck buddies to… to whatever he wanted this to turn into. 

 

This wasn’t a “meeting the family” situation, Will reminded himself.They weren’t conventional.They were the farthest thing from conventional.This wasn’t one of those things. 

 

It still felt like a big deal. 

 

Once Longineu arrived, it was about a big of a deal as Will should have known it would be- which is to say, it wasn’t.He waited patiently to be invited inside, polite young man that he was, and thanked Spencer for welcoming him to dinner.He kicked his shoes off by the door, adding them to the increasingly tall pile that was forming there, and sprawled out on the floor next to Will, taking up a great deal of space with his long legs and looking like he’d never been more comfortable in his life, perfectly at home in someone else’s living room. 

 

Will appreciated that.No hesitation.No uneasiness.Just Longineu, the same here as he was anywhere else.His braids were spread out on the carpet, making an interesting halo around his head.He took a strand of tinsel out of Will’s hands and fidgeted with it, twirling it around his fingers as he talked to Brendon, who was leaning over the back of the couch and asking about some Netflix thing the two of them were obsessed with lately.

 

“No, yeah,” Longineu agreed.“Season three is gonna be _bomb_.” 

 

“Totally bomb.” 

 

Things went smooth as silk for the next hour and a half, only being interrupted by Spencer declaring dinner was done. Longineu peeled himself off the floor, removing his head from where it’d been pillowed on Will’s thigh, and offered a hand down to haul Will to his feet.Jon grabbed the desk chair from him and Spencer’s room and wheeled it over to the table, and Brendon dragged over the coffee table and stacked a box on it to make a DIY sixth chair.Their own desk chair was currently preoccupied with a very carefully balanced Laundry Mountain.It would be more hassle than it was worth to try and unearth it for dinner. 

 

Spencer reminded them that if they would actually _clean their room for once_ , they wouldn’t have this problem.Will and Brendon waved him off with identical expressions, saying they’d ‘get to it,’ well knowing that they had no intentions of actually doing so. 

 

“So,” Jon said, picking up the gauntlet as the responsible adult that asks real conversation questions during dinner.“How’s school going, Longineu?” 

 

Longineu shrugged and talked about his senior project, which was some literature review thing that he was only putting half of his effort into, despite what he told Jon and Spencer.He mentioned how he was starting to freak out a little, since the rough draft was due in a month, and Will knew that part was true.He wasn’t freaking out enough to put more effort into it, but he was complaining about it almost endlessly. 

 

“That’s weird.Will hasn’t mentioned his senior project at all,” Spencer mentioned idly, pushing food around on his plate.Will’s stomach dropped to his knees.

 

Longineu glanced at him, eyebrows furrowed and frown on his face, and Will felt himself getting crushed between a rock and a hard place.No one in the apartment knew that he’d dropped out of school, except for Longineu, who was under the assumption that everyone else knew. 

 

“I, um,” Will choked out, steeling himself and trying to come off as casual and unsuspicious as he could.“I haven’t started it, yet,” he said, and perfect. 

 

Spencer totally bought his lie, taking Will’s guilty demeanor to mean ‘yikes, I haven’t started it yet,’ instead of the more accurate, ‘yikes, I dropped out of school and didn’t tell you.’ 

 

“You _what_?” Spencer asked.

 

Will shrugged and shoved a huge forkful of food into his mouth.“I’ll get to it,” he said. 

 

“You know you can’t graduate if it’s not finished.” 

 

“Uh huh.” 

 

“ _William_ ,” Spencer snapped, and Will looked up to glare at him, because couldn’t they have this conversation _later_ when everyone wasn’t staring at them.Longineu hadn’t pulled his puzzled, slightly angry stare off of him, and between that, the curious looks he was getting from everyone else, and the upcoming lecture from Spencer, Will had his ears turning red and sweat rolling down the back of his neck. 

 

“It’s not a big deal!” Will shot back. 

 

Spencer opened his mouth to argue, but then Jon cut in with a hand on Spencer’s shoulder.“Hey, Spence.It’s fine.Will knows what he’s doing.” 

 

Will sent out a prayer of thanks for Jon’s existence- just a quick ‘thank you’ that he’d elaborate on later, not that God didn’t know what he meant anyways.But then, just like that, things went from bad to worse. 

 

Spencer turned to Jon, expression made of stone, and said, “You’re not in charge here.”Jon’s eyebrows shot up, and yeah, that was a low blow.That was just cruel, but Will didn’t realize that it wasn’t a normal, human thing to say until he saw the confusion on Sarah’s face. 

 

Jon and Spencer didn’t notice it, though.Jon pulled his hand back and settled both fists on the kitchen table.“Oh,” he said.“Is that how we’re doing things now?” 

 

“That’s how it should be,” Spencer snapped back.“I don’t make the rules.” 

 

A bitter laugh bubbled out of Jon’s throat, and he said, “Don’t you though?That’s the whole point, isn’t it?What, should I call you sir now?” 

 

“Oh my God,” Spencer complained.“Would you stop?”

 

Jon practically snarled. “Yes, sir,” he ground out. “Want me to take a knee? Keep my head down? Tuck my tail between my legs?”

 

“ _Jon, knock it off_ ,” Spencer snapped. 

 

Then Brendon shouted over the rising argument, yelling, “ _Guys!_ ” and shooting a very pointed look between them and Sarah, who was still confused, but now also blushing.

 

Jon and Spencer both froze, anger melting off of them as they realized they were caught red handed, on the edge of outing themselves in front of two humans during the stupidest dinner of Will’s entire life.They both stayed there, wide eyed and red faced as they scrambled for some kind of excuse.Thankfully Brendon cut them off again. 

 

“We’re going to go hang out in my room,” he said, picking up his and Sarah’s plates and shoving his chair back.“You guys are _so weird_ , oh my God.”He left, Sarah casting a confused glance back at the table as she followed him.Will took that as his signal to move and shot up as well, grabbing Longineu by the arm and dragging him out of the apartment and into the hallway.Jon and Spencer didn’t say anything as they left, probably still in shock, and Will tried to take Longineu far enough away that they wouldn’t be overheard inside.Longineu wasn’t having it though, and he shook Will’s hand off almost as soon as the door slammed behind them. 

 

“They don’t know?” he snapped.

 

“Long, c’mon, it’s-“ 

 

“You said you told them!” 

 

Will winced and glanced at the apartment, storming off down the hallway and farther out of hearing range as he said, “I said I was _going to!_ ”

 

“You’ve been out of school for _months_ now!” Longineu yelled, hurrying after him, and Will found himself praying again.Sure, if Jon and Spencer overheard it would save him the trouble of actually telling them, but he’d rather approach this situation more gently, thank you. 

 

“Only, like, two months,” Will answered.“Come on, dude, I’m going to tell them, I swear!” 

 

“They aren’t going to let you move in if they think you’re still in school.You know that, right?” 

 

“I’ll tell them,” Will repeated. 

 

Longineu sighed heavily, shoulders rising and falling as he did so, a full body movement.He practically pouted at Will, face totally downcast, and glared down at the floor between them.“Are you even taking this seriously?” he murmured. 

 

Will’s mouth fell open.“What?Of course I’m taking this seriously!”

 

“Do you even _want_ to move in together?” 

 

Now it was Will’s turn to sigh.He pressed his hand over his face and took a deep breath to gather his thoughts.Peeking out between his fingers, he saw Longineu still standing there, staring at the carpet and looking smaller than he normally did.He was always so relaxed and at ease, but now he looked drawn up and insecure. 

 

Will dropped his hand back to his side and looked him over.“I’m going to hug you,” he warned.“If that’s alright, I’m going to hug you right now, okay?” 

 

Longineu didn’t meet his eye, and he didn’t say anything.He just shrugged and stayed right where he was, not moving and inch as Will stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his middle, tucking himself in tight to the taller boy and hooking his chin over Longineu’s shoulder. 

 

“I’ll tell them, okay?” 

 

“Sure.”

 

“I’m sorry.” 

 

Longineu sighed noisily and wrapped his arms around Will, squeezing him tight and holding on.They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other in the middle of the hallway where anyone could walk by and see them.They were a picture of messy hair, ripped jeans, and chapped lips.Acne and black t-shirts and some weird force of anxiety swimming around and through them.Whatever this was, whatever they were, Will liked it, even when they fought.He’d fix this, if only to get Longineu to stop looking at him like he wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to just pack up and leave. 

 

“This is pretty gay,” Longineu said, slight traces of a smile sneaking into his voice and suggesting that he was trying to lighten the air between them.It just barely worked. 

 

Will chuckled. “We cool?” 

 

“Sure.”Will didn’t believe him, but for now that was all they had.Longineu spoke again before Will could think of anything to say, “I should get home.” 

 

Will pulled away quickly and gave Longineu his personal space back.He felt suddenly like he was in the way, taking up too much space or stepping on toes, and when he said, “Oh, yeah, of course, sure,” he sounded too much like Brendon to be comfortable.He wondered if this is how Brendon felt a lot, if maybe he should work a little harder to make sure he was doing okay.Then again, he might just be projecting. 

 

Will followed Longineu down the long hallway and back to the apartment, not saying anything as Longineu grabbed his shoes and jacket and headed back out the door.Spencer and Jon were in the kitchen, putting away the last of the leftovers and not speaking, barely looking at each other.Will wasn’t sure if they’d called for a truce or a cold war, but he figured it would be best for the time being to stay out of the way.He went to his and Brendon’s room and fell face first onto his own bed, which Sarah had taken over for herself.She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair. 

 

“You good?” she asked. 

 

“Something like that.” 

 

 

…

 

 

“Okay, how about this one?” Brendon asked, clicking on a song on his iPod and pushing the other earbud towards Ryan.“This is a two ear experience, dude.” 

 

Ryan raised an eyebrow but put in both ear buds, leaning back against the tree they were settled under and closing his eyes.Brendon didn’t miss the way he cringed as he sat back, and he bit his lip, studying Ryan while his eyes were closed and he had the chance. 

 

He hadn’t asked about the purple splotches around Ryan’s neck, and Ryan hadn’t brought them up.That didn’t mean Brendon didn’t _see_ them though.He saw the bruises on his neck, and the red marks on both of his wrists.He saw the way Ryan’s face tightened every time he shifted his weight, the way he could seem to get comfortable. He looked tired, too pale and thin, and his eyes had bruises around them just like everything else. 

 

It made Brendon’s chest ache, memories floating to the surface and teasing at the back of his mind.Someone was doing this to Ryan, Brendon could tell.He didn’t know who, or what.He didn’t know anything, but that didn’t stop Brendon from wanting to square up and knock the shit out of whoever’d been smacking Ryan around. 

 

He didn’t ask, though.He couldn’t.Besides, even if he did, Ryan would just lie.

 

Bruises or not, Brendon had to take a moment to appreciate how pretty Ryan was.Everything about him was just… delicate.Leaning back, listening to the music, he looked relaxed.His mouth was relaxed into a small frown, his eyelashes were fluttering against his cheeks, which were tinged pink from the cold winter air.His hair was long and shaggy, curling around his ears and the nape of his neck, fluttering when a breeze blew through. 

 

His neck was long, and in an effort to avoid looking at the necklace of bruises around the base of it, Brendon watched as Ryan’s Adam’s apple bobbed, just once when Ryan swallowed around a breath. 

 

Without any warning, Ryan’s eyes shot back open and Brendon quickly averted his gaze to his own hands, picking at his nails and pretending like he’d been doing that the entire time, not staring like a weirdo. 

 

“Yeah, that’s good,” Ryan said, pulling out both earbuds and passing the iPod back in a bundle of wires, apparently done with listening to music.Brendon took it and slipped it into his pocket, then thought for a long moment before taking it back out and laying down stomach first on the ground.It was cold, and his clothes were going to get dirty, but he couldn’t just do nothing. 

 

“Come look at this,” he said, patting the ground next to him and turning his iPod back on, wracking his brain for something to distract Ryan with. 

 

Ryan leveled him with a suspicious look, but Brendon kept his own face innocent and stared back until Ryan sighed and crawled over to join him.

 

“What?”

 

“This album art is really pretty.I thought you’d like it.” 

 

Brendon scrolled through to find what he’d been talking about and held it out in front of him, digging his elbows into the ground and shooting Ryan a grin.Ryan leaned in close, shoulder bumping with Brendon’s as he ducked his head to look at the screen.He was close enough that Brendon could smell his shampoo without even trying to. 

 

Ryan stared before nodding and looking up at Brendon, still achingly close.“Yeah, that’s pretty cool,” Ryan said.“Hey, what time is it?” 

 

“Um….” Brendon dug his phone out of his pocket and pressed a button to light up the screen.“Almost five,” he said.Ryan nodded. 

 

“I have to go.” 

 

They were settled down just a block from the motel Ryan lived in.They couldn’t go inside.Ryan hadn’t said that exactly, but Brendon hadn’t argued when Ryan suggested a park nearby.They’d never gone up to Ryan’s room together, and Brendon wasn’t going to push it.Ryan had secrets.That was fine. 

 

Well, obviously not all of the secrets were fine, but there wasn’t much Brendon could do about that.Even with prior experience, Brendon had no idea how to help. 

 

“Can I walk you home?” Brendon offered, picking himself off the ground not quite as gracefully as Ryan had managed to.He brushed off his pants and straightened out his jacket.Ryan stuffed his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders. 

 

“No, not today,” he murmured. 

 

“Okay.”Brendon forced a smile onto his face, as wide as he could manage.Ryan gave the tiniest grin back. 

 

“Sorry I’m all lame today…” 

 

Brendon shook his head, quick and fervently.“No,” he insisted.“You?Lame?Impossible.” 

 

Ryan’s grin widened just the fraction of an inch and he rocked forward, looking like he was going to reach out and touch Brendon before correcting himself and pulling back.“Thanks, Brendon,” he said, then turned on heel and walked quickly away, head ducked between his shoulders, not looking back. 

 

Brendon watched him go and felt something sick tightening into a ball in his stomach.He had the overwhelming urge to curl up on the spot and take a long, miserable nap.Obviously he wasn’t in the mindset to be alone right now, so after taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Brendon turned around and headed back in the opposite direction. 

 

Someone would be home, and he could curl up around them and let them distract him into feeling better.Wanting that felt selfish, since Ryan probably didn’t have anybody to do that with.Brendon’s therapist would have a thing or two to say about that, but that wouldn’t put the thought out of his mind.He wanted to be that person for Ryan.He couldn’t even remember how this whole thing had started, but whatever his original intentions had been, it was all replaced with a protective feeling that filled up Brendon’s skin anytime he was around Ryan lately.He wanted to steal Ryan away and keep him safe from things, and gee, what a weird thought that was. 

 

Brendon would keep that to himself for now, and keep picking at the walls Ryan had boxed himself in with like an artist poking at a marble block with a pick, gentle taps here and there, hopefully going in the right direction.

 

Brendon had Ryan to talk to about pack things, but he didn’t have anyone to talk to about Ryan.He sure could have used some advice right now, but the risks were too big.It would have to stay his secret for a while.

 

That was okay.Brendon could handle it.He’d handled plenty of things before.It would be fine. 

 

So long as Ryan was fine, it would be alright.

 

 

…

 

 

“I’m getting a second job,” Will said, breaking the nearly half-an-hour long silence they’d spent in the car together so far.Longineu had picked Will up from the library when he'd gotten out of school, and they were wasting time until Will’s shift at work at 5 p.m.They hadn’t said a word to each other yet, staying horribly silent even as they went through the drive-thru at Dairy Queen and parked around the back by the dumpster.It was almost a tradition at this point, and Longineu hadn’t had to ask before ordering Will’s usual.It was nice, but also meant they still hadn’t spoken.Now, curled up in the passenger seat and prying at a cookie dough chunk with his spoon, Will finally spoke. 

 

Longineu glanced up at him from the corner of his eye, not moving his head to do so. 

 

“Yeah,” Will added.“If you’re serious about moving out, then I’m getting one.” 

 

Longineu turned his head at that.“For real?” 

 

“Are you serious about it?”

 

Longineu set his empty cup aside and turned in his seat to look fully at Will.“Yeah.I am.” 

 

Will grinned.“Then yes.” 

 

Longineu’s face broke into a beam, and Will got halfway through saying “I mean, I’m not in school, so-“ when Longineu pulled him forward by the front of his jacket and smacked a kiss to his lips.Will went easily, hands settling on Longineu’s arms to keep his balance, practically melting against him.Longineu tasted like chocolate. 

 

It only lasted for a few seconds before Longineu was pulling away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, grinning sheepishly.“Guess I better talk to my dad, then.”

 

“I better talk to the guys.”He scratched at the back of his neck. 

 

“Kiss for good luck?” Longineu asked, and Will smiled as he clattered over the center console to fit himself against Longineu and kiss him properly.He knocked into the horn -the front seat really wasn’t meant to fit two full grown boys- and made the horn blare, making them both laugh into each other’s mouths, and yeah.This was good.It would totally be worth it. 

 

Get a second job.Break the news to the pack.Figure his shit out.Will had a list of things to do, but the end goal was there.He got this.

 

 

…

 

“You’re _what?_ ” 

 

Whether or not Jon and Spencer had gotten over their previous argument about who was and was not in the position to call shots in the pack was yet to be known.Regardless of the outcome of that conversation, both of them were wearing the same startled expression for this new one, mouths open and eyes wide. They shared an uneasy glance before turning back to Will. 

 

“I’m moving out,” he said, putting as much of a devil may care attitude into his voice as he could manage.It probably wasn’t fooling them at all, since his heart was hammering away wildly in his chest and he could feel sweat start to prickle at his skin.It made him feel better, though, because no matter where this conversation went, Will was an adult who could do whatever the hell he wanted.Technically.Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. 

 

“Wait, you’re _leaving!?”_ Brendon yelped, phone falling out of his hands and clattering to the floor. 

 

“Be careful with that,” Spencer scolded. 

 

“You can’t just _leave_!” 

 

Will swallowed hard and crossed his arms over his chest.“Longineu and I are moving in together,” he said.“We have a place.” 

 

“You have a place,” Spencer repeated in monotone, crossing his arms as well and raising a challenging eyebrow.Will met his gaze and stared him down.

 

“Yes.His aunt has a loft she’s willing to rent out.”

 

“How are you going to move out?You’re still in high school,” Jon said, voice slightly muffled from the way he had his face buried in his hands, elbows propped on his knees.He’d been frozen like that since Will had clarified.Will couldn’t tell what he was feeling -what any of them were feeling- but it damn sure wasn’t _good_.Better to get it over with now, then.

 

“Um.Yeah.About that….”

 

Jon’s head snapped up, his expression dangerously close to angry and a perfect match of Spencer’s.“Excuse me?” he practically growled.Brendon, who’d been curled up in the corner of the couch, curled in a bit tighter and looked around with eyes the size of dinner plates, phone long forgotten on the floor. 

 

“I, uh.I haven’t gone to school since December,” Will said, crossing his arms tighter and pressing his lips together hard. 

 

Jon and Spencer stared him down hard for a long, gut wrenching moment.After what felt like forever, but wasn’t very long at all, he was sure, Spencer was on his feet and walking towards him.It took every amount of Will’s self-control to not turn around and run right out of the apartment, and he’d never been more sure that Spencer was going to hit him in his entire time with the pack.Will stood his ground, though, holding his breath when Spencer stopped right in front of him, inches away so that Will had to tilt his head up to look him in the eyes.Spencer stayed there for a count of ten, glaring down at Will and seemingly searching for something in his expression.Will just glared back. 

 

Finally, Spencer nodded and stepped back, turning on heel and pacing into the kitchen as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.“I’m calling Zack,” he said. 

 

Will’s heart damn near stopped beating right there.“What!?” he demanded.“No, Spencer, come on-“ 

 

“You dropped out of school!” Spencer yelled back.

 

“But I-“ 

 

“I don’t want to hear it.” Spencer pressed a button and held his phone up to his ear. 

 

Panic bubbling in Will’s chest, because he knew Zack would find out eventually, but not like _this_ , not _now_ , Will uncrossed his arms and threw them up, yelling, “I already got my GED!” at the top of his lungs.If Jon and Spencer killed him, at least the entire apartment building could act as witnesses now. 

 

Shock crossed over Spencer’s face again (freaking _again_ ) and he dropped his phone to his side, hanging it up as he did so. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I got my GED,” Will repeated, lifting his chin and daring Spencer to call his bluff.“A few weeks ago.I’ve been studying since November.I passed, and everything’s legal.” 

 

“Prove it,” Spencer snapped, while Jon turned to Brendon and asked, “Did you know about this?” 

 

Brendon shook his head frantically, eyes growing impossibly wider.Will scowled at Spencer and stormed off to his room, grabbing his diploma and other related papers from where they were hidden behind his dresser and shoving them under Spencer’s nose when he got to the living room. 

 

“January twentieth,” he said.“See?” 

 

Jon stood up and came over, leaning close to Spencer to look over the papers as well.He reached out and took the withdrawal papers from the stack, squinting at them as he read them over.His eyes settled on the bottom of the page. 

 

“This has Zack’s signature on it,” he said, looking up at Will and frowning.Will’s stomach flipped over.Spencer crossed his arms. 

 

“Okay…” Will appeased.“So, _mostly_ legal.” 

 

Jon’s hand returned to his face as he muttered wordlessly and wrinkled the paper with how hard he was clenching his fist.Spencer picked his phone back up and redialed the number.“I’m calling Zack.” 

 

“Spencer, wait!” Will said, grabbing for the phone.Spencer stepped back and out of the way. 

 

“If you think I’m not telling him-“

 

“I’ll tell him!” Will blurted out.“I’ll tell him if you’ll just shut up and listen, _please_.” 

 

Spencer and Jon froze looking at him again, studying him for a long enough moment that Zack’s voice appeared on the other end of the phone. 

 

_“Spencer?_ ” 

 

“I’ll call you back,” Spencer said, then hung up the phone and slipped it into his pocket.“Okay.Talk.” 

 

Will nodded, then motioned to the paper in Spencer’s hand.“I have my GED.Even if you wanted me to go back to school, I can’t.” 

 

Spencer sighed.Will kept going.“I was never going to college anyways, and I have two jobs now.”That one was a bit of a stretch.He had one job, and an interview for a second one stocking shelves at a grocery store, but hey.They didn’t need to know details. 

 

“And you want to move out,” Spencer said.“William, this is ridiculous.” 

 

“How long have you and Longineu been together?” Jon asked, frowning down at the paper again.Will bristled at that, irritation curling hot and angry under his skin. 

 

“We’re _not_ ,” he lied.“We’d just be roommates.” 

 

Jon rolled his eyes, and Will growled.“Do you really want to talk about relationships?” he snapped, not knowing entirely if he knew what he was talking about here, but the reaction he got from Jon confirmed at least a few of his suspicions. 

 

Jon glared.“Excuse me?” 

 

“Back on subject,” Spencer said, talking over them and cutting them off before they got started.“Will, why the hell do you want to move out?You don’t even know how to live on your own!” 

 

“I can manage,” he said.

 

“You’re a child!” 

 

Will clenched his fists at his sides, stung, and stepped forward. “You’re only a year older than me!” 

 

“William….”Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and sighed out Will’s name, the same way Zack used to, and no.Just no.Will was sick of Spencer acting like he was Zack.He was sick of being treated like a kid.He was sick of everyone in this God damned apartment, so he decided to tell them that.

 

“No!I’m sick of you thinking you can boss me around.What does it matter if I move out?We’re not a family!We’re not even a real pack!” 

 

Brendon, who had been silent during this entire thing, gasped.Will felt sick to his stomach, immediately regretting the words that came out of his mouth.Spencer looked torn apart, face going from shocked to ashamed to stormy in two seconds flat.Jon was the first to compose himself, face alarmingly blank as he stepped forward and put his hand on Will’s shoulder. 

 

“That was too far,” he said.“And you know it.” 

 

Will nodded and closed his eyes.“I’m frustrated… I didn’t mean….”His words trailed off, leaving him with a blank mind and no idea where that sentence was going.He hadn’t meant what he’d said.They were a family, of course they were.But sometimes they all acted like they were something they weren’t, and someone had to point it out. 

 

They weren’t a real pack, not really.Sometimes Will hated this.Not humans, not conventionally werewolves.Where the fuck were they supposed to fit in anyways? 

 

“Let’s take some time to cool down.We’ll talk about it in the morning,” Jon said, and Will would have pointed out that Spencer was letting Jon call the shots if he hadn’t already filled up his ‘being an asshole’ quotient for the day. 

 

“Okay,” he said. 

 

“We’ll talk about it,” Spencer promised. 

 

“Okay.” 

 

“Go to bed.” 

 

Will nodded and shuffled off to his room, effectively drained of whatever energy he’d had at the start of the conversation.He had a text from Longineu waiting in his phone, asking “How did it go?????”He wasn’t ready to answer that.He heard the rest of the pack talking in the living room. 

 

_“Bren, you have school tomorrow.Go to bed.”_

 

_“But-“_

 

There was the sound of footsteps and jackets being slipped on. _“Jon and I are going to outside and talk, okay?Just go to sleep.We’ll be back soon.”_  

 

Will knew that Brendon would want to talk about it, and he knew he wasn’t ready to handle that conversation.Quick as he could, he shucked off his jeans and curled up in bed, back to the door and pillow tugged over his head.Brendon didn’t say anything when he came in, just got ready for bed quietly and curled up himself.Will stared at his phone under the covers for a long time and thought about how to answer Longineu.He eventually settled on, “Give it some time.” 

 

Then he sent, “Good night <3” and held his breath while he turned his phone off, adrenaline rushing through his ears at the gesture. 

 

Longineu’s words ran through his head- “This is pretty gay.”Will didn’t laugh, but he wanted to.God, he was such a mess.He had a lot of praying to catch up on to make up for the day, so he put his phone away and rolled over to stare at the ceiling and get started. 

 

At least at the end of the night there was always _someone_ there to listen to him.

 

…

 

 

 

When Spencer woke up in the morning, his head was swimming.He swung his legs off the edge of the bed and sit up, watching as his vision tilted back and forth and spots danced in his eyes.Weird.He was tired, but not _that_ tired.His throat had a concerning ache to it, but that was just too damn bad.Spencer had things to do. 

 

Following his morning routine, Spencer got up, brushed his teeth, popped a pill, and put on his gym clothes.He’d hit the gym before anyone else woke up and have everything out of his system by the time he got home.President’s Day meant he got the day off of work, so he had all the time in the world to deal with annoying pack mates. 

 

Excellent timing really. 

 

Spencer zipped his coat up while he walked down the hallway towards the stair well.He felt good for six a.m.Kind of groggy, and his throat had gotten worse from a cup of coffee rather than better, but he had as much physical energy as he could hope to. 

 

He tossed his keys in his hand and took the stairs three at a time.When he reached the bottom of the staircase and made his way out into the chilly morning air, his phone started to ring.Spencer looked down at the screen and saw it was his father calling.He pressed ‘ignore call,’ and then he sneezed.He coughed.He wiped his nose on the back of his hand and figured it was nothing, that the burn in his throat was from dehydration and nothing else.He got in the car and started his drive to the gym.Things would be fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known that this chapter was brought to you through pain and suffering, in the form of my computer constantly autocorrecting "Longineu" to "Linguine." Real, actual tears were shed in the library because I couldn't stop laughing. This have been stressful. College is so much a lot. Thanks for hanging in there and being patient. 
> 
> Please comment, I love to hear from you guys.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He’d do anything for this kid, anything at all.  
> And that was when Jon realized just how screwed he was."

Chapter twelve

 

When Spencer’s sore throat didn’t clear up within the day, he was certain it would be gone by morning.If anything, it got worse, and the few days after that didn’t make it any better.By that Friday in mid-February, Spencer blinked his eyes open in the morning and immediately wished he hadn’t. 

 

His nose had apparently forgotten what exactly it was supposed to be doing, and his complete inability to breathe through it was accompanied by deep seated ache through his entire face, probably a result of his sinuses.He rolled over and pressed his face into his pillow, hoping some amount of pressure on the outside would relieve a bit of the pressure on the inside. 

 

It didn’t, but the pillow was cool against his burning eyes.He had just enough time to enjoy that before his stomach tossed alarmingly.Then he was immediately out of bed and stumbling to the bathroom.His knees hit the painfully hard tile floor in front of the open toilet without a second to spare.

 

Spencer was dying; he was sure of it.His head was swimming, and he couldn’t breathe.Throwing up while you couldn’t breathe was far worse than throwing up when you _could_ breathe, and Spencer decided he’d take a hangover instead of whatever this nonsense was any day. 

 

His shoulders ached, possibly from having his arms braced against the porcelain, and his knees and hips hurt just as badly, like there was something in his bones.Spencer took a moment, gasping through his mouth and trying to catch his breath, but not quite brave enough to sit up properly, trying to remember if the full moon had been the night before, because that was the _only_ thing that would explain the soreness in his joints. 

 

It hadn’t been. 

 

His peace was over quickly, and he lost track of time between bouts of emptying the contents of his stomach.He was just starting to realize that he’d be late to work if this kept up much longer when a cool hand settled on the back of his neck. 

 

“Hey there,” Jon’s voice greeted him, croaky and sleep-tired.He ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair and pushed his bangs back from his sweaty forehead.Why was Spencer sweating so bad?When had that happened? 

 

“Man, you’re burning up,” Jon commented.His hands were so cold.Spencer almost couldn’t keep himself from moaning. 

 

“Stay here a second, alright?” Jon asked, as if Spencer had a choice at this point.Then his soothing hands were pulling away, and there was the sound of footsteps leaving the bathroom.Spencer rested his forehead against the toilet seat and dozed with his eyes closed for a little while, soaking in the sounds of Jon moving around the apartment. 

 

He didn’t mean to fall asleep, but then Jon’s hands were back on his neck and Spencer’s eyes were snapping open. 

 

“Shhhh, it’s alright.It’s just me.” Jon’s voice was calming as his hands guided Spencer to his feet.Spencer had to admit he was kind of useless, and Jon practically held his weight entirely.He wondered when Jon had gotten that strong.Spencer wasn’t the kid he used to be.But then again, of course Jon was capable.Of course he was strong enough.Spencer shouldn’t have been surprised. 

 

“Let’s get you to bed,” Jon said, after having Spencer rinse his mouth out in the sink.Spencer didn’t have the strength to fight him on it, practically putty under Jon’s guiding hands. 

 

He did attempt to protest, albeit weakly.“But I’m throwing up,” he said.His voice was barely more than a mumble. 

 

“It’s alright.” There was a bucket by the bed when Jon nudged Spencer to sit down.Spencer went, then used all his remaining willpower to remain upright.It was harder than it should have been.He felt like crap.

 

He watched Jon poke around in his dresser drawers and tried again.“I have to get ready for work.”

 

Jon emerged with a fresh t-shirt, and he tossed it onto the bed before coming over and carefully wrestling Spencer out of the one he was wearing.Spencer would have been embarrassed if he wasn’t too busy being entirely useless.He let Jon take the shirt, which was disgusting and damp with sweat, and he did his best to put the new t-shirt on without help.He was mildly successful. 

 

“You can’t work like this,” Jon told him.“You’re calling out.”

 

“I’m fine,” Spencer protested. 

 

“Bullshit.”

 

Spencer wanted to be more irritated about Jon telling him what to do, but then his stomach was rolling again and Jon was shoving the bucket into his hands.Spencer spent several long, agonizing minutes dry heaving.There wasn’t anything left to throw up at this point, but it made his nose run.He was just full of unwarranted liquids that morning.

 

“It’s Friday,” Jon said, taking away the bucket and pushing Spencer’s phone into his hands.It was already dialing the office.“Call them and tell them you’re sick.They don’t need you today.”

 

Spencer did just that, and he tried to sound like a normal, functioning human, but his voice was beyond wrecked when he spoke above a whisper.His throat was still aching painfully, and once Dobbenhauer made several disgruntled noises and reminded Spencer of the inconvenience this was causing, Spencer hung the phone up and fell over sideways on his bed. 

 

That made his stomach grumble again, and he might as well have banged his head into concrete for the pain that erupted behind his eyes.Jon pried the phone away and nudged Spencer under the covers properly.Spencer tried not to feel humiliated. 

 

“What are your symptoms?” he asked.

 

Spencer groaned and used the last remnants of his energy to pull shaking hands up over his face.They were cold against his burning skin, just like everything else.He sighed. 

 

“Stomach,” he moaned.“Headache.Stuffed nose.Sore throat.I might have a fever….”

 

“You definitely have a fever.”

 

“I’m dizzy.”

 

“Anything hurt besides your head?” Jon asked.

 

Spencer groaned again. “ _Everything_.”

 

“Alright,” Jon told him.“Hang on a second.” Time passed in a blur, like a weird stop-motion animation.One second Jon was disappearing out the door, the next he was at the bedside and pressing a cold wash cloth to Spencer’s forehead. 

 

“You’re sick,” Jon told him.“I’m going to run out for medicine.Do me a favor and say in bed, yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Spencer croaked. 

 

He was asleep again before Jon closed the bedroom door behind him. 

 

 

…

 

 

 

Jon had never been in the medicine aisle at the grocery store with the intent of buying something before.It took him a while to actually locate what he was looking for, wandering around sluggishly and letting his eyes scan over the various colorful packages, hoping the answer to his problems would jump out at him. 

 

He was worried he would start to look suspicious if he kept it up, and it wasn’t like he could ask any of the staff for help.For one, who didn’t know how to find medicine at a grocery store?Secondly, he wasn’t even sure what he was looking for.Stomach, throat, nose, head, everything?What even _was_ that? 

 

Jon had never faced this sort of problem before. 

 

Werewolves didn’t generally get sick, not in an illness sort of way.His whole childhood he’d never had a single cold, hadn’t used stuffy noses or fevers to stay home from school.There were other ways they could get sick.Not enough protein in the diet could make them sluggish or violent or achey.Having too much contact with wolfsbane would leave them with symptoms like food poisoning.Food poisoning itself was harder to get, but still possible.Not enough exposure to the moon caused fatigue.

 

But whatever Spencer had, whatever totally human thing he seemed to be wrestling with, wasn’t normal.Werewolves didn’t get sick.Borne wolves didn’t get ordinary human illnesses at all (at least not anything that came from a bacteria or virus), and Bitten technically _could_ still get them, but it was rare. 

 

Spencer was a Bitten, sure, but he was also an alpha.Alphas getting sick was absolutely unheard of, Bitten or otherwise.Jon had no idea what was going on.He was kind of making _himself_ sick with worry. 

 

He did find the correct medicine eventually, or at least he thought he had.The sign said “cold and flu,” which were words he was familiar with, of course.He hadn’t grown up in a vacuum.Just because he wasn’t sure what the illnesses entailed exactly didn’t mean he was totally clueless. 

 

Besides, the symptoms on the “flu” boxes matched what Spencer was describing. 

 

Fever, upset stomach, congestion, joint aches. 

 

Just when Jon thought he had it all figured out, he was confronted with the numbers on the back of the box, and then he was back to square one.“800” it said.Eight hundred what?He knew the basic medicine conversions, of course.For example, a human headache called for two ibuprofen.A werewolf headache called for 4-5. 

 

He wasn’t sure how this applied to flu medicine, and he didn’t know who to ask.He spent quite a bit of time in the cold and flu aisle with his phone, using precious data on google trying to see if anyone out there had advice for this. 

 

If they did, Jon couldn’t find it. 

 

Besides, even if he figured out how to help Spencer with being sick, that didn’t tell him _why_ Spencer got sick, which was just as important, if not more so.

 

He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew someone who might.Jon pulled his phone out of his pocket, opened the phone app, and dialed a number so familiar it was muscle memory at this point. 

 

He held the phone up to his ear and waited. 

 

“Hey mom… I have a question, but I need you to promise not to tell Zack….”

 

 

 

 

…

 

Jon didn’t go to work that day.The next day, he decided, he would get his shit together.As it was, he wasn’t sure he could function properly knowing Spencer was sick and not knowing why. 

 

He wanted to make the alpha go to the doctor, but that was a bad idea for at least two major reasons: 1. money2. werewolf.They couldn’t afford it, and they couldn’t risk it.Jon couldn’t help but worry, though. 

 

He banned the boys from the room, just in case.They had school anyways (or, well, _Brendon_ had school. Will didn’t, apparently, and that was something Jon had yet to forgive him for), but Jon made sure the warning was clear.Will was half-wolf, and Jon had no idea what that meant for his immune system.If Spencer had caught some kind of super-bug, that could only spell disaster for someone with _less_ of a wolf genotype. 

 

Brendon, on the other hand, was a Bitten- not as susceptible to human illnesses as someone who wasn’t a wolf at all, but not nearly as durable as an alpha.Jon wasn’t about to take risks with that.The kid didn’t need two (or three, or four) bad years in a row. 

 

Jon wasn’t concerned about his own well-being.He’d never been sick before, and he didn’t plan to start now.Besides a sudden divine intervention, or maybe the zombie apocalypse, Jon didn’t see that changing.He wasn’t worried about that.

 

“How you feeling?” he asked Spencer when he checked in around dinner time.He’d given the boys thirty dollars and told them to bring back as much pizza as that could get them from the local shop with explicit instructions to avoid black olives. 

 

Jon hated black olives. 

 

Spencer hadn’t moved from his spot in bed, appearing as only a head poking out of a mountain of blankets.He kept saying he was freezing, despite his forehead being hot enough to fry eggs.Jon’s mom said this was normal, though.She’d said not to be worried, just “keep him warm, but don’t let him overheat.”

 

He wouldn’t overheat if he still felt cold, Jon figured.He let it go.

 

“Hungry?” Jon asked, leaning back against the doorway and folding his arms over his chest.He would have gone closer if Spencer hadn’t looked so miserable, but all things considered, it didn’t look like there was room for him at the moment.

 

Spencer groaned.“Fuck, no.”

 

“Were you able to hold the water down?”

 

Spencer sighed and shook his head.“No….” And yeah, that was going to be a problem.Spencer was going to get dehydrated or something.Jon wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do at this point.He’d already given Spencer the estimated dose of medicine, which helped minutely with the sinuses and did little else.He was sweating out more water than he was taking in, and he couldn’t swallow anything without throwing it up a few minutes later.Hell, maybe that’s why the medicine wasn’t doing anything.

 

Jon wasn’t trained for this.He didn’t want to ask his mom _too much_ , because if she got worried, there was a chance she’d tell Zack, whether Jon wanted her to or not.The internet was only mildly helpful, and WebMD supplied nothing but terrifying answers. 

 

Jon figured he’d have to just wait it out and see what happened. 

 

Spencer was strong, Jon figured.He was an _alpha_.He’d be fine. 

 

 

 

…

 

 

February was cold, but it wasn’t as cold as January, and that was something Ryan could appreciate.There was always a hot spot near the middle to end of the month, and it came a little early this year.Valentine’s Day was warm enough to have his jacket unzipped and his hat off, and if nothing else good happened over the course of the day, at least there was that. 

 

He was out of food again, and he had just enough money to solve that problem.Dahvie wanted him ready and waiting in the motel room by ten a.m., and since the walk to the grocery store took around half an hour, Ryan hadn’t bothered going to bed at all. 

 

He’d gotten home from the club around six a.m., because apparently the day before Valentine’s Day was a big day.There was a reason for that, Ryan was sure.He didn’t want to think about it.He’d taken a shower and straightened his room out.He flipped the sign on the door so nobody would come to take his bedding away while he was getting fucked senseless by whomever Dahvie brought by. 

 

The laundry service was faulty at best, showing up three days in a row, and then not touching a single towel for over a week.Ryan knew better than to complain.The laundromat down the street worked just fine, and Ryan’s legs weren’t broken.There was no reason Ryan couldn’t do his own damn laundry.

 

What else could you really expect from this kind of establishment anyways? 

 

His growling stomach had alerted him to the ‘lack of food’ situation around seven-thirty a.m., and Ryan decided to forego a nap in place of buying food.He’d be fine with sleep deprivation- he’d had worse.He wouldn’t do so great if he passed out from low blood sugar, and he had a feeling Dahvie wouldn’t be impressed either. 

 

The store offered four packages of ramen for a dollar, so Ryan bought eight and figured he’d be fine for about two days.He was always hungry, it seemed, but it didn’t matter so long as he wasn’t starving.He couldn’t afford a better situation at the moment. 

 

He considered splurging at the cash register and picking up a couple caffeine tablets, but there was an age limit on those things.Grocery store clerks weren’t as eager to accept fake ID’s as clients were, and the last thing Ryan needed was to get his ID taken away. 

 

He didn’t need the beating that would bring on. 

 

He got home at nine, which gave him just enough time to cook a square of ramen with the near-boiling water that poured from the tap on the ‘hot’ setting.He cooked his ramen, practically inhaled it, and set back to work putting the place back together.Bed made.Everything clean and tucked away.Real clothes hidden under his bed, work clothes in place and acceptable. 

 

Ryan wouldn’t dare to go out in his work clothes, at least not any time before sundown.He could do his job, though.He could open the door when Dahvie gave the signal and lean in the doorway, wearing an outfit that barely fit him and a smirk that was practically second nature at this point. 

 

And then his day was starting, and Ryan didn’t have much time to think after that. 

 

Even if he had, it was best not to.

 

 

…

 

 

Longineu’s aunt’s home was a nice little two story just on the edge of the highway.It had a large backyard that fed directly into the woods, obstructed by a tall fence just along the back of the property.For safety, probably. It wasn’t uncommon. 

 

The siding was white and the shingles on the roof were starting to become loose and crooked.It matched the unattached garage, which could fit two cars and also had an upstairs.That was the loft Longineu had talked about. 

 

Longineu said it would be good for Will to come over for dinner, meet the family and give his aunt a good idea of who exactly was moving into her garage.He’d agreed, of course, because when someone asks you to come meet their loved ones, you don’t just say ‘no.’

 

Aunt Ada came to the door in jeans, a sweater, and an apron.Her hair was shaved close to the scalp, just a thin layer of curls.She wore gold hoops in her ears and held a wooden spoon in her hand.When she saw Longineu, her face lit up like a bulb. 

 

“Longie!” she exclaimed, grabbing her nephew and pulling him into a tight hug, even though the young man was a good six inches taller than her.Longineu glanced over at Will and rolled his eyes good naturedly. 

 

“Longie?” Will asked, voice teasing.Longineu made a face. 

 

“And this must be your friend,” Aunt Ada said, releasing her nephew and putting her hands on her hips as she turned to regard Will.He offered up a crooked grin and waved. 

 

“Will, this is my aunt Ada.Ada, this is Will.We went to school together.He graduated early,” Longineu explained.Ada grinned and reached out to place her hands on Will’s shoulders. 

 

“That is so good.Bon garçon.Teach Longie to be an academic like you.”

 

Longineu rolled his eyes again and looked embarrassed.“Ada….”

 

“This one is very lazy,” she said, leaning in and lowering her voice to a whisper like she was telling secrets.“But we love him anyways.”

 

“Yes ma’am,” Will agreed politely.Aunt Ada reminded him of one of the ladies in his mom’s church group.He could see her fitting in perfectly there, sipping coffee and complaining about her husband and kids, book long forgotten on the coffee table.She was terribly nice, though.At least as far as Will could tell. 

 

“Such manners!” Ada said, squeezing his shoulders.“I like this friend of yours, Longie.Come in now, come in.Your cousins are upstairs, you should join them.Dinner will be ready soon.”

 

Will followed Longineu into the house, shutting the door behind him and kicking his shoes off.The whole place smelled of home cooking, and it was obvious both from the scent and the appearance that a whole family lived there.He could hear children playing upstairs and a pot bubbling on the stove.Ada hummed along to a song that was playing on the radio in the kitchen, something poppy that definitely wasn’t in English. 

 

Longineu shot him a grin and said, “Come on, then.”

 

Will grinned back, keeping his hands to himself and not smacking a kiss to Longineu’s cheek like he wanted to.They’d talked about that, and those things were under wraps for the time being.Not forever, potentially, but definitely not right now. 

 

Longineu headed into the house, taking the carpeted stairs three at a time.Will smiled and ran up after him.

 

 

…

 

 

“Spencer’s sick,” Brendon told Ryan, kicking off against the dirt and making his swing rocket upwards.Ryan sat on his own, twirling back and forth idly and fussing with the chains.“Been a few days now.Jon won’t tell me what’s going on, but it isn’t good.”

 

“Is he okay?” Ryan asked.His fingers were painfully cold, but they didn’t have a place at the time being where they could go inside and warm up.Even if he’d be willing to go to Brendon’s apartment, which he wasn’t, the place was quarantined. He considered his own place, considered breaking that wall down, but… no, he wasn’t ready for that yet.Brendon wasn’t ready for that.Ryan had the kind of secrets that could send someone running.He didn’t need to go letting them out. 

 

“I don’t know,” Brendon replied.“I hope so.It’s hard to tell, though.Jon is real nervous.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Will hardly leave his side,” Brendon said.“It’s awful quiet, too.You can hear all the coughing and the sneezing and the throwing up.”

 

“Ew,” Ryan said, wrinkling his nose up. 

 

“Tell me about it.” Brendon grimaced and dragged his feet in the dirt, slowing down to a gentle back-and-forth, no longer flying.“I overheard Jon on the phone with someone.Werewolves aren’t supposed to get sick.He’s really worried about it.”

 

“We’re not?” Ryan asked. 

 

“Not alphas,” Brendon said.“Don’t know about others.I could probably get sick.I’m pretty weak.”

 

Sometimes Brendon said things like that, and Ryan had to wonder if he knew he was saying them.He was kind of worried about the self-degrading comments, or about the way Brendon would say things sometimes and then flinch, like the words were catching up to him.If Ryan knew more about people, he may have been able to understand what was going on.As it was, he wasn’t very good at that stuff.He didn’t have any answers. 

 

He also had bigger things to worry about. 

 

“You do that a lot,” Brendon said, voice popping Ryan out of his thoughts.He shook his head and pushed his bangs out of his face.

 

“What?”

 

“You think really hard about things.I can tell ‘cause you just kinda gaze off and stop paying attention.You’re going in your head somewhere,” Brendon explained. 

 

And yeah, well.He’d caught Ryan on that one.“Lots to think about,” he replied, and then closed his eyes for a moment.That kind of statement got people asking questions that Ryan didn’t want to answer.If you didn’t want people to be curious, it was best not to say things like that.Ryan thought he knew better.He’d had enough practice with Greta. 

 

It sure was cold out today.His motel room was a little drafty.Maybe he’d ask to sleep at Greta’s again tonight.Her couch was comfy, and she had coffee in the mornings. 

 

Brendon didn’t say anything about the statement, and Ryan was grateful.He was also hungry.His stomach growled, and Brendon looked over at him with a grin. 

 

“Me, too,” he said.“Come on, let’s go grab lunch someplace.”

 

They’d done this before, and Ryan knew from listening to Brendon talk that he and his pack didn’t have a lot of money.Despite that, whenever Brendon offered something like that, he always insisted on paying.It was almost like a date, if they were normal teenagers who did that kind of thing, and if Brendon was gay. 

 

He said he wasn’t, but Ryan had some doubts. 

 

Whatever.It wasn’t his place to make judgments about other people’s lifestyles. 

 

He got up off his swing and followed Brendon out of the park and down the road, kicking a torn up hunk of asphalt along in front of them as Brendon talked and Ryan listened.He liked having someone else to listen to, especially when the conversation didn’t require anything special from him.Brendon was content to go on and on and let Ryan be quiet, and really, Ryan was more grateful for that than anything.Listening to someone else helped him get out of his own head, and God knows he needed help with that. 

 

“But seriously, like, I think I can understand what the dogs are saying,” Brendon said, entirely earnest.It was almost endearing.“It’s the weirdest thing.I want to ask Jon about it, but he might just think I’m crazy.I could be crazy.It’s happened before.”

 

“You’ve mentioned,” Ryan replied. 

 

“My therapist said to stop using that word, though.Apparently ‘crazy’ isn’t really a thing.”

 

Ryan had to disagree there.“I’ve met plenty of crazy people.”

 

Brendon nodded.“Me, too.I think she’s full of beans sometimes.”

 

Ryan nodded.Brendon tipped his head back and laughed, loud and happy, face as bright as the sun.It was almost warmed Ryan up a little bit.Almost.

 

 

…

 

 

Spencer was almost sweet like this, Jon decided.The fever hadn’t broken, which the internet defined as “dropping into acceptable ranges,” whatever the fuck that meant.Of course he’d learned in high school biology that the normal human temperature was around ninety-eight degrees, but wolves ran hotter.Since they didn’t get fevers for the most part anyways, and since they rarely had to go to the doctor, Jon actually didn’t have a good idea of what ‘normal’ was. 

 

Whatever normal was, Spencer was well above that.Several days had gone by, and while Spencer wasn’t getting any worse, he also wasn’t getting any better.Jon’s mom said to wait it out, and she tried to conceal the worry in her voice, but Jon still knew it when he heard it. 

 

If she could pretend not to be worried, then so could he.The last thing he needed to do was freak out and scare the hell out of Spencer, who was delirious at best.Convincing the others that, ‘No, really, he’s fine,’ was hard enough as it was.

 

Spencer kept having weird dreams, and the first night they’d startled Jon bad enough that he’d given up on sleeping and crawled into bed with him, petting his hair and murmuring to him until Spencer stopped making noise and fell into a quiet slumber.

 

This afternoon Jon had headed straight home after work.He’d grabbed a sandwich on his way out, figuring that would hold him over for at least a little while, and practically ran out the door.Brendon and Will were nowhere to be found when he got to the apartment, and maybe he should have wondered exactly what they were up to, but there were more pressing matters on his mind. 

 

He got home, grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen, and took it into the bedroom with him.Spencer blinked sleepily at him with dark, puffy eyes that were tinged red around the edges.Almost like he’d been crying. 

 

“Hey…” Jon said gently.“Are you okay?”

 

Spencer shook his head, but he also croaked out the words, “I’m fine.” Jon couldn’t stop the panicked whine that escaped the back of his throat.He hurried over to the bed and sat on the edge while he urged Spencer into a sitting position and made him drink some of the water. 

 

He’d been able to hold down water yesterday.Maybe today would be good, too. 

 

It was.Half an hour later, Spencer was still keeping the water down, and Jon decided he could stop worrying about it.He wrapped his arms more tightly around him and pulled him closer. 

 

If there was anything good coming from this disaster, it was getting to hold Spencer in his arms.Whether it was delirium from the fever, overwhelming fatigue, or an actual yearn for comfort, Jon didn’t care.Spencer didn’t protest at all when Jon climbed into bed with him and pulled the younger wolf against his chest. 

 

Spencer almost looked small like this, with his head tucked into the crook of Jon’s neck and his hand clutching at the fabric of Jon’s t-shirt.Jon ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair and hummed quietly under his breath, and the resulting mewling noise from Spencer made his heart clench. 

 

Jon held him tighter and let himself imagine that they were okay.He let himself pretend this was two years ago, back when things were different and they were the kind of friends who could curl up together like it was no big deal.Back when they were puppies and there was someone else in charge and everything was a little bit easier. 

 

If he closed his eyes and let his mind drift, he almost had himself fooled. 

 

It was lying in bed like that, five days into the illness from Hell, when Jon realized he was fucked.Spencer had been feeling well enough to take a shower that day, and Jon couldn’t care less about Spencer’s wet hair soaking through Jon’s t-shirt.He nuzzled closer and sighed quietly, congestion making the sound wet. 

 

Spencer murmured, “Thanks for taking care of me…” as his eyelids fluttered shut, and Jon felt his chest physically tighten.He thought, ‘God, I love him,’ before his consciousness could catch up with his thoughts, and then he’d had to pause. 

 

He froze, staring up at the ceiling of their bedroom as his heartbeat picked up double time and he pondered the words that had just flitted through his head. 

 

_God, I love him._

 

He’d had feelings for Spencer for a while now.For Christ’s sake, he’d been enamored with him since the day they met.He thought the kid hung the moon.His crush, yeah, that wasn’t a surprise.That wasn’t anything new. 

 

But love…. Jon hadn’t thought about love before.Whether it hadn’t crossed his mind, or he hadn’t let himself consider it, he wasn’t sure.But laying there in Spencer’s bed, holding Spencer in his arms and hoping with everything he had in him that Spencer recovered from whatever this was, Jon couldn’t deny what was obvious. 

 

He loved Spencer.

 

If Spencer asked to be mates, Jon wouldn’t give even a moment of hesitation before saying yes. 

 

He’d do anything for this kid, anything at all. 

 

And that was when Jon realized just how screwed he was. 

 

“Hey…” he whispered, nudging Spencer off of him gently as he crawled out of bed.“I’m going to get you some more water, okay?”

 

Spencer offered him a hazy grin.“Thanks, Jon.”

 

Jon grinned back, made his way to the kitchen, and tried to remember how to breathe. 

 

 

 

…

 

 

On day six of The Illness, Jon got up in the morning and saw Brendon off to school.He talked with Will for a little while in the kitchen, both of them cradling cups of coffee and discussing work. 

 

“Got that second job,” Will told him.“Grocery store.It’s a good deal.”

 

Jon checked that Will was feeling alright, that he was eating and showering and taking care of himself.He apologized for being pretty distant the last few days, and Will responded by snorting and shaking his head. 

 

“I’m a grown up, Jonny,” he said, using that voice he always did when he thought Jon and Spencer were being ridiculous.“I can take care of myself, y’know.”

 

Jon nodded and took a sip of his coffee.Right, of course.How could he forget?Will was Mr. Independent now, and he’d gone to extensive lengths to prove it.Jon really shouldn't have been as surprised as he was, considering how they’d met the kid in the first place. 

 

Will had realized he was turning into a werewolf, which he equated to dangerous and bad and scary.The very first thought he’d had, at fifteen years old, was about protecting his mom, and just like that he’d set off across the country all by himself.He’d taken care of himself, lived on his own, and survived off practically nothing.He’d been beyond hesitant to join the pack in the first place, not trusting any of them as far as he could throw them. 

 

It should have been more shocking that he’d joined at all, but it had been Zack who’d won him over.Now Zack was gone, and it only made sense that Will wouldn’t want to hang on anymore. 

 

If Jon didn’t stop thinking like this he was going to make himself all emotional.It’d been a little over a year, but Jon felt like he’d watched Will grow up. 

 

You couldn’t really blame him.It had been a long week.He was a little emotionally compromised. 

 

“About that,” Jon said.“Spencer and I talked this over, before he got sick.”

 

Will’s expression was guarded, expecting bad news, but he nodded anyways. 

 

“If you want to move out, of course we’re going to support you,” Jon continued, picking his words carefully.For all that Will was domesticated, he was still a bit of a flight risk.Jon didn’t want to go about this the wrong way, and saying the wrong thing might have him slamming out the door.Who knew where he’d disappear to then?“We’d like to meet Longineu’s family, though.Just to be acquainted.”

 

It wasn’t a big favor to ask, but it felt like one.Jon held his breath while Will mulled that over, fingers tapping against the porcelain of his coffee cup.Eventually, he nodded. 

 

“Yeah,” he said.“Alright.That shouldn’t be a problem.”

 

That was the best news Jon had heard all week.He smiled, and Will grinned back, just a little bit.“You know you can always come to us if you need anything,” Jon told him.“We’ll do everything we can for you.You know that, right?”

 

Will’s eyes widened at that, expression almost startled.He blinked once, staring at Jon with raised eyebrows, and said, “Yeah, of course, man.We’re family.”

 

After the argument they’d had a week ago -which had gone nuclear oh so quickly, which they hadn’t gotten a chance to talk about afterwards- that almost sounded like an agreement.They’d gotten lost in a shouting match, and Will had screamed the words, _‘We’re not a family!We’re not even a real pack!’_

 

They hadn’t gotten closure on that.Jon hoped that at least Will and Brendon had talked it over, either fixed things or put a band aid on them.Jon had been too busy, though.He hadn’t been paying attention.

 

Will went off to work a short while after that, and Jon thanked his lucky stars that he had an evening shift and went back to check on Spencer.When he went into the room, Spencer was asleep and his phone was buzzing against the nightstand.Jon picked it up and looked at the screen.Zack.Again. 

 

He’d been calling several times a day since the second day Spencer had been sick.At first Spencer had been too weak to talk on the phone with _anybody_ , which was concerning, so very concerning.Now he was getting his strength back, at least a little, but he was still sick and still exhausted.Jon didn’t want to wake him up for this.He held the phone, buzzing in his hand, before holding down the power button and shutting the thing off, sending Zack straight to voice mail. 

 

It wasn’t thirty seconds later that Jon’s own phone started ringing in his pocket. 

 

It was loud against the quiet of the room, and he jumped out of his skin before scrambling to silence it.Spencer stirred slightly, and Jon figured he had no other option at this point.He shut the bedroom door behind him, held the phone up to his ear, and headed out on the balcony. 

 

“Jon, what the hell is going on?” was how Zack greeted him.Jon wouldn’t expect any different. 

 

“Hey…” he said, drawing the word out and trying not to sound like he was up to something.“Hey, what’s up, man?”

 

Yeah, no.He definitely sounded guilty. 

 

“Is everything okay?” Zack demanded.“I haven’t heard from Spencer in over a week now.He’s not answering my calls.”

 

Jon cringed and slumped back against the door.“Um, yeah… everything’s fine…”

 

“Jonathan,” Zack snapped, and Jon couldn’t believe that tone of voice still worked on him.He sighed.

 

“Spencer’s sick,” he confessed.“He hasn’t been answering the phone, because he’s barely conscious these days.I think he’s getting better, though.It’s fine.”

 

There was a long pause at the other end of the line and Jon stared out at the mountain ranges encircling their town, looking where the snowcapped the mountain tops. 

 

“He’s sick?” Zack finally asked. 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Sick how?”

 

Jon chewed at his bottom lip.“Uh, like, flu sick?” he offered.“I don’t know.He has a fever, and there’s been lots of throwing up and coughing.It’s kind of horrible.”

 

Zack’s voice sounded puzzled as he said, “He’s an alpha.”

 

“I know.”

 

“We don’t get sick.”

 

“I _know_.”

 

“Is there something going around?” Zack asked.“Have the boys caught it?If it’s strong enough for Spencer….”

 

“Will and Brendon are fine,” Jon answered, and he briefly considered telling Zack about Will moving out.Someone would have to tell him eventually, but that was a different can of worms for another day.Jon wasn’t the pack Alpha, and he wasn’t the one moving out.It wasn’t his problem.“I’m fine, too,” he added.“I think it’s just a Spencer thing.”

 

“He shouldn’t be able to get sick,” Zack said, still apparently at a loss.“I’ll look into it.You need to let me know if anything changes.Have you considered taking him to the doctor?”

 

“You know why we can’t do that,” Jon said.He pressed his hand over his eyes and rubbed his temples. 

 

“You might not have a choice if he gets any worse.”

 

“I’ll keep you updated,” Jon promised.“It’ll be alright.How’s Pennsylvania?”

 

 

…

 

 

The eighth day into The Illness found Spencer well enough to take another shower, but not well enough to do much of anything else.He was feeling better, that much was obvious.He spent most of the morning switching between freezing and overheating, which hopefully meant the fever was finally breaking.Sure enough, when Jon put his hand on Spencer’s forehead to check, it didn’t feel like it might sear his skin off.It was a little warm, yes, but still a definite improvement. 

 

Jon called Zack on his way to work and told him. 

 

He didn’t feel as nervous about leaving Spencer alone that day, which his coworkers definitely noticed.“Nice to have you back, dude,” their high school barista, Ariel, told him, clapping him on the back. “Thought you’d never stop spacing.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

After the high strung week he’d had, and since Spencer was obviously no longer on the verge of death, Jon decided he deserved to relax a little.During his lunch break he shot a text off to Snake to see what he could do about that.It had been a while.He deserved this. 

 

Snake’s house wasn’t too far of a drive from work, and it wasn’t late enough that Jon had to worry about rushing home.He parked out front, adjacent to the drive way, and loped up to the front door.He knocked twice and waited. 

 

“Jay-walk, my guy!” Snake answered, throwing the door back and invited Jon into the house.“It’s been a hot minute, huh?”

 

“Been busy,” Jon answered.He lounged back against the wall, watching Snake dig around in the pockets of his hoodie before unearthing a ziplocked baggy and tossing it his way. 

 

“Twenty, man.Just got it yesterday.Yo, tell your boy I found a supply of what he wants.He’s good, just gotta text me.”

 

Jon froze halfway through fishing the twenty out of his wallet.He looked up at Snake and frowned, confused.“My… what?” he asked.“What are you talking about?”

 

Snake smiled wide, and his one gold tooth glistened against the snow outside the windows.“Spencer, man.I got his stuff,” Snake answered. 

 

Jon didn’t have any idea what he was talking about.Or at least, he tried to convince himself of that.A sickening revelation settled down in his gut as he pieced together what Snake was talking about.It wasn’t weed.Spencer smoked very rarely, and only ever with Jon.He didn’t do any other drugs that Jon knew of, at least, not recreationally. 

 

It couldn’t really be anything else, except….

 

“What stuff?” Jon demanded.He pulled the money out and handed it over, not wanting to keep Snake waiting too long after he’d already given Jon the bag.He had questions, though, and he needed answers.If he was right, which he was nearly certain he was, then he was going to kill Spencer himself, even if he had just spent the last eight days nursing him back to health. 

 

A devious smirk spread itself over Snake’s face.“Don’t ask, don’t tell, Jonny boy.Gotta say, though, it’s not a request I hear often.”

 

That sentence alone basically set Jon’s suspicions in stone.Spencer had said he quit.Spencer had been lying.Jon had paid very careful attention last spring when they’d had those talks with Brendon’s psychiatrist.He distinctly remembered her going over some of the potential symptoms.One of them was immune deficiency. 

 

_“It’s not a major concern, but if his dosage is too high it might make it harder to fight off illness.Werewolf or not, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got sick_. _”_

 

It had been an agonizing balance, figuring out how much would help him mentally without hurting him physically, but they’d gotten lucky.They’d found the dosage rather quickly. 

 

If Spencer was still taking them, and taking them liberally…. There was no way of knowing how much, or what the effects were. 

 

Alphas didn’t get sick, but… _‘werewolf or not, I wouldn’t be surprised….’_

 

Well, shit.Jon couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of this before.It explained everything. 

 

Snake said, “If you’re so curious, just ask him.”

 

But Jon didn’t ask Spencer about it.He smoked up in his car in the apartment building parking lot after driving home with shaking hands.He tried to slow his thoughts down and piece his mind back together and figure out what to do.Confront Spencer about it?Sit back and wait? 

 

Jon didn’t know the answer, and this was one problem he couldn’t call his mother about. 

 

He didn’t know how he was going to handle this, but he knew one thing.Snake’s message was not getting passed along.Not through him.Over his dead body.

 

 

 

…

 

 

 _“A series of arsons have been reported in the following areas, just a few hours West of Denver,”_ the broadcaster reported, staring grimly into the camera as she read off the names of the affected towns, their own included.Will stared at the TV, jaw tight and hands balled into fists, so still that he might not have been breathing.The others didn’t look much better.Jon swallowed the bile rising in his throat.All the bad news.All the bad days piled up, and now this.

 

_“Seven minor injuries have been reported.One victim was airlifted and is in critical condition at Saint Joseph Hospital.One person has been reported dead.There are leads suggesting this activity might be hate crimes against so-called ‘werewolves,’_ _but these claims have yet to be validated.”_

 

“So-called…” Will scoffed.Jon nodded numbly.

 

 _“Can it be called hate crimes?”_ the other broadcaster asked as the camera panned out to show the entire table, rather than just the one reporter.He folded his hands on the table and leaned forward, a teasing grin playing at his face, as if he was telling a joke. _“Hate crimes have only ever existed against humans,”_ he said. _“You don’t kick a stray cat and call it a hate crime._ ”

 

_“What would you call it, Dave?”_ the female reporter asked, smile bright on her face. 

 

_“I’d call it hunting.”_ The TV screen flashed and went dark, and the remote clattered against the coffee table as Spencer tossed it down and rose shakily to his feet.He wasn’t fully recovered yet, but he was up and moving around.Jon would have been glad if he wasn’t furious.

 

“That’s enough,” he said.“Leave it off.We don’t have to hear anymore.”

 

“Five houses were burnt down in town.”Will’s voice was barely louder than a whisper as he said it.He was still frozen, staring wide eyed at the blank TV screen, fists resting on his thighs and face set in stone.“That could have been us… those people are homeless.”

 

Brendon murmured, “Guess we’re lucky we live in an apartment building…” which were the first words he’d spoken in an hour. 

 

“We should let people in,” Will said, uncoiling like a spring that had finally popped loose.He jumped to his feet and hit his fist against this open palm.“We can’t just leave them out there.”

 

Jon glanced up to find Spencer not looking at William, and he pressed his lips into a firm line and glanced away as well.“That’s not a good idea,” Spencer said, sighing when Will let out a noise of outrage.Jon nodded solemnly.Spencer was right.

 

“Even if the landlord would let us have that many people,” Spencer continued, “That would draw far too much attention to us.It’s too dangerous, Will.”

 

“Their _house_ was burned down,” Will ground out through clenched teeth. 

 

“Taking in wolves will look bad,” Jon murmured, eyes still downcast.“We couldn’t even afford to support that many people.We don’t have the room.”

 

“People would notice.They’re suspicious enough as it is.They’d come for us next, and that is not a firefight I want to have to witness,” Spencer added. 

 

Will’s voice sounded a little hopeless as he said, “We have to do something to help….” Spencer nodded. 

 

“I’ll talk to some of the packs and see if there’s anything we can do.But Will, listen.” Jon glanced up at Spencer and found his expression to be stern, deadly serious.Will just gazed back at him with wide eyes, fully attentive.Jon counted it as a tiny miracle.“When you move out, I don’t want you taking anyone else in like that.It’s too dangerous, you hear me?You can’t go putting yourself in danger, but you especially can’t be putting Longineu’s family in danger with you.They’re humans.This isn’t their fight.”

 

Will looked thoughtful as he nodded and sunk back down on the couch, not flinching when Brendon tipped his head onto his shoulder.Jon said, “It’ll be alright,” and settled his hand in Will’s hair.Will nodded again, and there was the soft click of Jon and Spencer’s bedroom door closing as Spencer disappeared, shortly followed by the sound of someone blowing their nose. 

 

It was less often than it had been, and it was an obvious improvement.Jon was no longer worried about it, but currently more concerned with hiding his anger from Spencer.He hadn’t made up his mind yet; didn’t want him to know that he knew.There’d be time for that once he figured it all out. 

 

As it was, he brushed it off and stepped out onto the balcony to call his mother.He’d talked to her more in the past ten days than he had in the past six months, and while he wanted to feel guilty about that, he knew how busy the both of them were.He knew she forgave him for it.

 

The fires might make national news, and she’d be worried. He wanted to get to her first.And like a soothing balm over a sore of insecurity, even when he was the bearer of bad news, it was nice to hear her voice.

 

 

 

…

 

 

Spencer had been out of bed for two days when he restarted work on Monday.Dobbenhauer wasn’t very happy to see him, but then again, he never was. 

 

He greeted Spencer by saying, “Look who finally joined the party,” and making a snide comment about expecting Spencer to sign up for welfare.Spencer ignored him, brushed him off the way all of them did, and went to his desk to get to work. 

 

The cubicle next to him was empty.

 

He snagged Eli on her way to the copy machine to ask about it.She was a nice, middle aged woman who filled out her work clothes better than Spencer did.She wore men’s work attire and had broad shoulders that she boasted came in handy during her semi-pro football games. 

 

She greeted him with a grin. “Good to see you’re feeling better, kid.”

 

Spencer thanked her and quickly moved onto business.“Where’s Elliot?” he asked.She cast a glance over at his empty space and shook her head. 

 

“Kept murmuring about starting his own company.Dobbenhauer doesn’t like that shit.Found a reason to fire him, I guess.You might want to stay clear of that stuff.”

 

Elliot was always talking about that project of his.He’d asked Spencer to join him once.Gotten his email address and everything.Spencer hadn’t heard much else about it yet, but apparently it was too late. 

 

“Or his business finally took off,” Eli added with a shrug.“Don’t know what to tell you.”She glanced over his shoulder and motioned with her hand.“Hey, your phone is ringing.”Then she turned and went off on her way, going to do whatever she’d planned before Spencer had interrupted. 

 

Spencer turned to his cellphone and picked it up.He kept it on silent during work hours, since they were allowed to take calls, but Dobbenhauer got all rustled if they made too much noise about it.Cellphones going off were bad news. 

 

He didn’t recognize the number that was calling, but it was using an area code he recognized.It matched the one that came with his father’s phone calls.The one’s he’d been avoiding lately. 

 

Christ, he hadn't talked to his father in almost two months, now.He’d gotten a few calls while he’d been sick, but there wasn’t much he could do about it then.He really should get around to emailing him back.

 

Not right now, though.He figured he’d better deal with this phone call first. 

 

He pressed the green button, held the phone up to his ear, and spoke. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Spencer?”

 

It was a woman’s voice that he didn’t recognize, coming out stuttered and breathy.She sounded upset.It was pretty obvious she was crying. 

 

“Um….” He didn’t often get phone calls from crying strangers. He leaned back in his desk chair and cleared his throat.“May I ask who’s calling?”

 

There was a laugh, dry and almost bitter, on the other end of the phone.“Spence, it’s me, Jackie,” she said.Spencer sat up straight, mouth falling open.He hadn’t heard from either of his sisters since they’d left with his parents years ago.That was… three years ago, now.The twins should have been what?Fifteen?She didn’t even sound the same.Spencer wondered if he’d recognize her.

 

Then he wondered why she was crying. 

 

“Jackie, what’s wrong?” he asked.“Why are you calling me?”

 

It was probably nothing.He hoped it was nothing.His little sister calling him in tears after all this time couldn’t have been good, but Spencer was hoping for the best.He was still young.He was allowed to be naive. 

 

“I’m not supposed to be calling you,” she told him.“Mom said not to, because… y’know.Your condition and all.I think it’s bullshit.”

 

Spencer didn’t let himself feel hurt by that.He pushed the sting of her words away with a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.He was still awfully tired, after being sick.He wasn’t ready for this reunion. 

 

“What’s going on?” he asked her.

 

His stomach flipped nervously at the choked off sob that answered him.“Sorry, I’m a mess,” she murmured.“I’m sorry.It’s just… it’s about dad.”

 

Immediately, just like that, Spencer wasn’t tired anymore.He leapt to his feet and walked briskly to the break room, not ready to have this conversation in a place where he was supposed to be quiet.His heart was beating erratically in his chest, brain jumping to all the worst conclusions.He was sick.He’d gotten hurt.There was an accident.A divorce. _Something_. 

 

“He’s been sick for a while, Spence, and just… Mom didn’t want to tell you.She said you didn’t need to know, but….”

 

If Spencer had to wait any longer, he was going to have a heart attack.“But _what_ , Jackie?” he demanded, clutching his phone too tight.He was going to break it. 

 

Jackie’s voice was quiet and broken as she answered, “He’s dead.”

 

And Spencer was sure his heart stopped.He was sure his soul just rose right out of his body and left him there.He didn’t feel like himself, suddenly numb all over, ears ringing, mouth dry. 

 

He’s dead.He’s _dead_.He couldn’t be dead, not just like that.He was barely fifty.He was _fine_. 

 

“Spencer?Are you still there?” the phone asked him.Spencer wasn’t sure.He didn’t know how to speak.He hung the phone up and dropped it to his side with a limp arm, his brain playing her voice over and over in his head, like a broken record. 

 

Dead. _Dead_.His father was dead.They hadn’t spoken in months, hadn’t seen each other in years.He’d figured there was more time, he’d get to it eventually. 

 

There wasn’t.He wouldn’t. 

 

Spencer had trouble figuring out how to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kcracken continues to be amazing. One more chapter for this book, then on to the next adventure in book 5 :) if you're still with me, you're the best ever. thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> For some quality wolf!verse content, check out punks-n-rec.tumblr.com/tagged/wolf!verse 
> 
> It has jokes! It has memes! It has secret wolf!verse content! It's where I spend most of my time when I'm not writing this!!


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